Autism: A Spiritual Perspective

My spirit has some ideas about autism that aren’t what you usually hear. What I am about to say didn’t come from a book I’ve read, or a movie I’ve watched. It comes from a core sense of knowing that I have about autism. I had a flow of words come out of me the other day as I was talking with the Mom of John, an autistic, nonverbal 19 year old, high school graduate that I began working with in October.

Autism isn’t a disability. Autism isn’t something that needs “fixed”. Autism doesn’t mean that there is something “wrong” with a person. No, quite the opposite. I believe that autism is a form of human evolution. Why? It breaks us free from the way that we have been programmed to live. It breaks us free from caring what other people think about us. It breaks us free from so many societal “norms” we’ve felt compelled to follow.

The system wants to ignore autism. Schools want to group them into a box of being mentally retarded. Because kids with autism usually need some extra help in school, schools want to place them in a class for special education, but it’s usually not clear cut like that. John was always highly intelligent, but because he was non-verbal, teachers and tests weren’t able to detect it. Luckily, his Mom knew better, and he was able to go on to graduate from a normal high school program.

The system doesn’t know how to handle autism, because people with autism can’t and won’t be fit into neat boxes. They don’t follow any of the set rules and guidelines that we’re taught to follow. Society judges them against people without autism, which is a bit like judging apples against oranges. Yes they’re human, and fruit is fruit, but beyond that, they are each uniquely themselves as we all are. The reality is that none of us should be fitting into boxes, but we get highly pressured to. Most of us succumb to the pressure around us. It’s usually only after we get sick of suffering that we break away from those chains of conformity. Heck, the system flows so smoothly and the powers that be don’t have to lift a finger, because people police each other and make it very uncomfortable for someone to speak up against the crowd, against the program.

People with autism truly march to the beat of their own drum without regard for what other people think of them, and how other people want them to be. They don’t have the same sense to conform in order to keep other people comfortable. They are just unapologetically themselves. We can learn a LOT from them. We are here to be fully ourselves, NOT to fit in with the crowd, not to just be mindless, unquestioning workers slogging along to support the system, our government, and the wealthiest 1%.

A friend of mine from high school has a son who is exactly a month younger than my own. He could read when he was 2 years old. Being that we were both first-time parents, neither of us had a gauge for knowing what was typical behavior at the various ages. But I remember talking with my friend in those days, and explaining where my own son was with his speech and inability to know what sounds letters made, let alone read. I remember telling him that the things his son was doing weren’t “normal” for his age. He was a freaking genius! As he grew, they began to suspect that he may be on the autism spectrum. Tests later confirmed their suspicions. He is highly functioning and extremely intelligent. He actually skipped a grade of elementary school, because of how far ahead he is intellectually.

Generally, when I knew him, my friend was most concerned about his son’s ability to socialize with other kids. He generally didn’t go along with how most kids were expected to be around other people. He wanted what he wanted when he wanted it, and was comfortable voicing it. He wanted the toy he wanted to play with when he wanted it, so he’d take it. He didn’t coalesce. He didn’t easily give in. He didn’t care to sacrifice his own wants and needs to make someone else feel better or to make them comfortable. My fellow recovering people-pleasers, do you see now what I mean by evolution? My friend’s son is an awesome and loving child. The fact that he is considered to be “on the spectrum” is not limiting his capacity to be amazing, especially with a Dad who so lovingly supports and encourages him to be fully himself.

A person with autism is not of this program. In fact, they come into this life already out of the program. In that way, autism is a spiritual evolution. I believe that everything in this life is spiritual, because we are spirits having a human experience. The big picture is that rather than coming in and living yet another life governed by voices of others and the outside world, people with autism bypass it by not having the same experience as the rest of us. They come in tuned out of society and it’s established structures. And what a freeing experience! I believe that it frees their minds in a way that allows them to advance to being much more sensitive to energy, to making decisions based on the energy they pick up on, and to put themselves and their needs first (read: empaths born with boundaries and self-care techniques!).

Everything is made of energy. A person with autism is so in tune with the energy around them that they aren’t going to ignore the energy they pick up from a person and pretend that everything is OK. No, they’re going to refuse to interact with them. John’s Mom told me that when John was younger, she was having him say hi to someone and he wouldn’t do it. He then asked her (through facilitated communication using a program on his iPad) why it was so important to her that he say hi to someone he didn’t know. It made her pause and think differently about the situation. How often do we expect things like that from children? Why? How much of what we do is based on what our parents deemed as important? Do we want to live as the people who came before us, or do we want to be free and do what is right for us and our children?

If kids with autism feel like they need to release built up energy in their bodies, they’re going to move and shake regardless of who is around or what is happening. In contrast, it has taken me many years to get comfortable with lying on the grass in front of a friend to ground my energy, because I felt that’s what I needed to do in that moment. Some adults wouldn’t dare do something like that for fear of what another person might think! Kids with autism don’t care what people think. They just know that their body wants them to move, or lie down, or rock back and forth, so they do it. To the rest of us, their movements or outbursts of sound may seem inappropriate or out of place, depending their location and what is going on in that moment. But, they are just experiencing the full range of life in the present moment. Why do we force ourselves and our children to sit at desks for hours on end, when we are dynamic energetic beings who need to move? Why do we expect young kids to be quiet and still for such long periods of time? Why is that deemed as so important? Haven’t we learned yet that change is the only constant and that we don’t have to keep doing things the same way just because that’s how they’ve always been done? Hasn’t enough research shown that free play is much more important to a child’s cognitive development than being forced to sit still and quiet, indoors for long periods of time?? I could argue that school is the beginning of our disconnection with nature. Trained to sit inside all day at a desk, some people never break away from that lifestyle.

When people with autism feel emotions, they don’t save them up to emote later when other people aren’t around, instead they feel it in the moment and move on. They wouldn’t understand to save up those emotions or movements to release/act on ‘later’. Why would they do that? Why do we do that? When you really stop to think about it, a lot of the ways we’ve been taught how to be don’t make much sense. Am I right? From my perspective, adulting has been about learning how to feel emotions as they arise vs stuffing them down and having them surface at an inopportune time. Seriously, I’ve spent so many hours dealing with healing the trapped emotions I refused to feel for years. Imagine not ever doing that, from the time you were a baby! Believe me, that ability (and subsequent freedom from healing later) alone makes for a GIANT leap up a person’s path of ascension! Not being able to be programmed means that they don’t have to do the work like I did to deprogram and then reprogram myself. Talk about saving time!

It has taken me up to now to really get to a point where I am tuning out the outside voices and what society expects of me, and following my spirit wholeheartedly. This means that I follow my intuition about everything. I do my best to release myself from how I think I ‘should’ be or what I think I ‘should’ do, and do instead what my body and spirit are asking of me. This means that I eat when I am hungry. I sleep when I am tired. (Work in progress, because I love the peacefulness created when most people are sleeping.) I eat what I intuitively am called to eat. I pay attention to the energy of people and situations and distance myself from anything that doesn’t feel good or in energetic alignment with me. I put the energy I sense as the most important thing when I am making decisions in my life. I listen to a person’s energy above what they are saying. People lie a lot. I can sense it. Since taking my leap of faith and putting myself first, and setting the intention to strengthen my intuition, my ability to tap into the energy and intentions behind a person’s words is through the roof! You can tell me the prettiest, most supportive words, but if I feel an incongruence with the energy behind them, I will listen to your energy one billion percent of the time. I am including this here, because people with autism are even more sensitive than I am to this energy. (Which blows my mind from where I’m standing!)

We are energetic beings. We can use our sensing to help us. People with autism do this naturally. What I have learned is that when we follow our joy and intuition and show up as our fully authentic selves, we align with our spirit. Since my own alignment with spirit (which takes a never ending commitment to showing up fully and following my intuition about everything), I have found that I am protected and that I am able to manifest things very quickly and easily. As I have flexed my intuition like a muscle, it has grown stronger. It’s no longer a whisper I hear, but a very obvious knowing that I’ve learned to trust emphatically. This means that all of my psychic abilities have also increased, including telepathy, claircognazance (clear knowing), and clairsentience (clear sensing). I know at least one example where someone with autism is highly telepathic and knows what their parent is thinking and talking to people about even when they are no where around them. I am positive that across the board, many people with autism share these abilities that are rarely talked about or acknowledged.

The program depends on us not realizing our own innate abilities and powers. It’s the only way that it’s able to keep us small and breaking our backs for the wealth and power of the elite. People with autism may or may not be aware of their power and abilities, but they are evolving the human race just the same. As we are all part of a collective consciousness, the alignment of one person has an impact on the whole. The strengthening of one person’s psychic abilities due to alignment also positively benefits the whole. One person’s vulnerability to show up as fully themselves gives everyone else permission to do the same. People with autism who put themselves and their needs first are leading us by example. Only misalignment and dis-ease are to be expected when we walk around people-pleasing and peace-keeping while we put everyone else and their needs before our own. The world doesn’t need martyrs, it needs people standing fully in their power who love themselves enough to put their own health, happiness, well-being, and alignment ahead of everything else in their lives. Trust me, people who do this and give from an overflowing cup are the ones who change the world.

We are all here to learn lessons and expand consciousness. I believe that we plan a lot of our trials prior to our birth. Because we don’t know another person’s spiritual path, we should not judge it. I don’t think it’s sad that some people have autism. I think it’s sad that they’re not generally viewed as the way showers that they are! Instead of trying to force them to conform to the way things have always been done, I think it’s time that we value their ability to shake up a system that’s broken. Think also of all of the parents who are being forced to step into their own power and truth by speaking up for their autistic children! The more people who are comfortable speaking up and stepping up in this world when change is needed, the better. Autism is just one avenue for this kind of action. I’m telling you, autism isn’t just about the spiritual evolution of the affected individuals, but it also works to transform their parents, teachers, schools, government, and the world.

We’ve got to stop trying to label people and fit them into boxes of limitation. Just as we have been told to not judge a book by its cover, we need to stop judging each other by our rented meat suits. None of us belong in boxes. We were born the way we are meant to be. Perspective is EVERYTHING! Shift your perspective to see the grander picture. Our first, human reaction to things tends to be sadness or anger, but what if instead we got more curious and open-minded? Autism is a game-changer and self-loving humans who place their alignment with spirit and the well-being of their mind, body, and spirit as their first priority are changing the world.

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I Can See Your Soul

Do you see souls too? I have a way of falling in love with people’s souls and their potential in this life. Sometimes this means that I ignore their human-ness that isn’t always lined up with their soul. Personally, while I’ve begun to pay more attention to the full package of a person, I’ve decided that I love seeing the radiance of a person’s soul. I would not trade this ability for anything in the world. I have grown so much and can handle it when a person lets me down, so I love them anyway. Because loving people never hurts us. It only hurts when we aren’t giving ourselves love first. Or lose ourselves in the relationship and our expectations of it. It doesn’t hurt to love. We can love to love without needing anything beyond it.

The chance that exactly you would be born is about 1 in 400 trillion or more (thank you google😂)!! If you weren’t meant to be here exactly now as exactly you, you wouldn’t have made the cut in the first place. You are here because you have something to offer this world that NO ONE else can offer! We need YOU and we need you to show up as 100% your authentic and vulnerable self so that we can reap the full benefit of your existence on this planet. YOU CANNOT BE REPLACED. So, if you’re reading this and you’re struggling and you don’t know if you can face another day alone, then please reach out to one of the 7 billion of us who love you and let us be there for you as you navigate this difficult time. There’s a reason why so many of us exist, we are meant to help each other along on our journeys. Many of us have known dark times, I know I have, so we understand how bleak life can look at times. Keep going, and allow us to carry you when you need us to. You are never a burden to your tribe. We need you to be here. We need you to stay here. We see your beautiful soul and it is absolutely RADIANT! We love you!

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Always Giving, Never Receiving

Have you ever read something and had it just strike you as so much truth that you felt a little slapped in the face by it? That’s exactly what happened to me when I read this quote from Phil Good on my IG feed recently. I have seen this play out in my own life.  In the past, when I was not giving myself what I needed, I got mad at the people in my life who weren’t giving me those things.  When I lacked self-love, I was angry when others did not show me love in the way I felt I needed it. I lashed out and fell into victim mode. And being a victim in life is no way to live. It’s sucks the joy out of our days and it keeps us feeling separate from everyone around us. When we act like victims of circumstance rather than active creators of our realities, we give away all of our power to things, people, and situations outside of ourselves. After all, it was ME I needed the love from, not anyone else. When I felt like I needed love from others, my love was more conditional. It was subconsciously dependent on what the other person was adding to my life. If they weren’t giving me what I felt I needed from them, I got upset, felt unloved, unloveable, and allowed it to create a rift between us. This pattern showed up for parents, partners, and friends alike. When I felt like I needed love from others, I was a people-pleaser who never wanted to create waves. I tiptoed around trying to make everyone else happy, because I had the unconscious belief that in order for me to be OK, I needed everyone else around to be OK first. Can you relate?

I lacked love for myself, so for the sake and comfort of my ego, I felt like I needed it from others in order to fill the inner void, and feel whole and worthy. This meant that for most of my life, I went from long-term relationship to long-term relationship without breaks in between. In order to feel like ‘enough’, I couldn’t possibly leave any breathing room in which no one would be telling me or showing me that I was lovable. I didn’t believe I was lovable, so time on my own would have been too painful and empty to bear. At times, this caused me to start a new relationship before fully ending the old one. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it acted to soften the blow in the moment. In reality, never being single was just a way of placing a temporary bandaid over a much larger, underlying wound.

When I used to give to everyone but myself, my love cup was always half empty and I watched as one-sided relationships showed up in my existence time after time.  It upset me, and I’d end the relationship first. Of course, I wasn’t always aware of this dynamic in a conscious way. It took being intimate with a best friend I had had for many years to make this clear to me. How could it be that yet again, I wasn’t feeling love reciprocated? How could it be that it now felt one-sided like all the others before it? If this was happening with the one person who knew me better than anyone, and from whom I had felt loved unconditionally just as I was, then maybe it was an issue with me, not him. I now see that the one-sided relationships came from only giving love to others, but not to myself. You may not know me well, and you may not know this person I was with or the special bond that we shared, but try to believe me when I say that if THAT relationship wasn’t ultimately filling the void I felt inside, I knew that nothing or no one else could (and you and I are the same, so this is your truth too). In fact, that was the Universe’s way of teaching me the lesson that I am the only one who needs to love me, and I am the only one able to fill my own inner void. The lesson was there before in my past relationships, but I was stubborn in my ego and had always thought it was a problem with the other person, not me. Don’t our egos just love to blame our problems on other people? I was blind to it until I was with my best friend of 15+ years, and had the pattern thrust into my face. Because if I was able to get to a point of feeling unloved, neglected, and abandoned in THAT relationship, then I had to face up to it being a problem with me and how I was showing up in my relationships with other people, and ultimately in my relationship with myself. After all, the only constant in all of my relationships was me.

What I now realize is that in those times, what I was giving to others was not love at all, but instead an expectation for love in return. I’ve come to believe that when we offer conditional love, it is not actually love at all. Only unconditional love, without expectations or requirements that the other person do anything specific or measure up to any standard we have set, is true love. True love is loving a person for exactly who they are, immense human and soul beauty, baggage and all, without needing them to love us back. We see them and accept them as they are and decide from that place to love them. We do not need them to tell us that they love us back. (And we’re not hurt when they don’t). We do not need them to buy us things. We do not need them to show up in our lives in any specific way. We offer them love for the sake of love. We offer them space in our lives simply because we enjoy their presence.

As I have learned to fill my own bucket with self-love, and the things that light me up, I expect/need very little from others.  That’s not to say that I don’t deserve love from other people, but I now recognize that the issue of not feeling loved is always with me and not the other person. When we fully accept ourselves just as we are, we can start to love ourselves, baggage and all. As we do this, our love bucket spills over and we are able to share the excess with other people and the world. It is only from this place of excess love that we can offer true love to others. This is why it’s so important to throw out the word ‘selfish’ and to realize that self-care is NOT selfish, but rather it is necessary if we want to be the love for ourselves and others that we came here to be. Always do the things that please you and light you up FIRST, because we’re working out of order, and can not be there for anyone else if we’re applying everyone else’s oxygen masks before our own.

We’ve got a society of people who have been led to believe that it is the things and people outside of ourselves that will fill our internal void and need for love. It’s by design and keeps us living small as good consumers. This society thrives on blind followers and consumerism. You will only find true love and true happiness when you realize that it is an inner job that can only be completed by you. No person, place, or thing will ever fill that inner void. So, start deciding to do what you love, to put yourself first, and to love and accept yourself fully as you are today, perfectly imperfect. You and I are beautifully human and innately enough. But me telling you so will do nothing until you believe it for yourself.

It took a lot of inner work and therapy to uncover these truths. I didn’t magically wake up one day realizing the things that were holding me back and then changing them. It has taken a very conscious effort on my part to heal and clear the blocks that have held me back in life, and some that continue to hold me back. The rewards for clearing these blocks are more authenticity and vulnerability in our lives, which I find directly correlates to more inner peace and happiness. In this busy world, do not forget to follow your joy. Your joy will always lead you back to your true self and place you in alignment with your higher self. It is from that alignment that you can experience the limitless nature of this life. Do not allow the inner work to be one more thing to be afraid of in this world, but instead allow it to be the key to your ultimate freedom.

It is my passion and purpose in this life to help others on their own healing journeys. I enjoy using a combination of my strong intuition, Reiki healing, and Joy Coaching as part of my process. If this speaks to you, do not hesitate to reach out to me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com. I always love hearing from my readers!

Thank you so much for reading along. If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Please feel free to leave a comment below if my words resonate with you. Much love!