Dancing has never just been about dancing. The indigenous people around the globe know it. The church has known it (which is why some have tried to stop it from happening in the past). There is a true freedom that arises when we dance. A pure joy that emanates from the spiritual beings that we are. A swirling and igniting of energies that ripple out from our own field and connect with the earth, the spirits of everything in nature, and each other. Expressing ourselves fully through free-form movement and dance can change the world!
I have found that being authentic, following my joy, and following my intuition (guidance from my own spirit) has led to my alignment with my own spirit. Alignment is the KEY to everything we seek! Well-being of body, mind, and spirit, inner peace and a sense of fulfillment, happiness, love, freedom, and abundance. Our alignment holds the answers for all of the questions we seek answers to in regards to the meaning of our life and our purpose this go around.
When we dance, we tap into our true nature. We can set intentions when we dance to create and send love out into the universe. By doing so, we extend even more positive energy out into the world from living our joy and dancing!
Dance more! Shine your light! Your energy ripples out into the world and affects everyone and everything. Be mindful of the kinds of ripples you’re creating. Follow your joy! Allow yourself to thrive! DANCE ALIGN ELEVATE THRIVE!
I’m on a cloud today after speaking at Visalia Talks & Wine last night about “Healing Depression with Mindfulness and Holographic Kinetics”. I shared some deep parts of my personal experiences with depression and suicide. Stay tuned, because I’ll be posting the video of it when it’s ready! I know it was the first of many such opportunities and I’m so excited!! Thank you to @kelseylowshow for creating the event and being so dang amazing and for everyone who took the time to come to the event and connect with me afterwards! I am so grateful!
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We aren’t taught that what we focus on grows, but it’s true. We do ourselves a MAJOR disservice when we continually run worst case scenarios and negative thoughts through our heads. When we get stuck in that repetitive cycle and add complaining to it, we literally become a giant magnet for more of what we don’t want. It’s why people who live their lives this way feel a sort of knowing that life sucks so bad. The negative things that keep happening in their lives keep reinforcing they’re beliefs. And they always want to tell everyone about it. They think of every terrible aspect of their life constantly, and so they manifest more negative situations to think and complain about. Then they’ll respond like “see, I told you life is horrible! Look at xyz that just got added to my pile of shit.” Truth is, they’re powerful creators and they’re manifesting everything in their life.
I was with someone who thought their family was cursed. While their family had suffered big traumas, their belief that they all had bad luck did not help them at all. Not only were they giving their power away by believing that something out there was throwing them more things to complain about, but they were constantly providing more energy to the belief that life was never easy for them.
Knowing that where I focus my energy literally creates my life, I am selective about my thoughts. It started with an awareness that my thoughts about myself and life were why I was suffering. Sure, things in my life at the time weren’t going as I would have liked. I felt stuck in California away from my family and I had done everything in my power to try and change it. Now all that was left was to accept my situation. I remember getting so annoyed with a woman I was working with, a sort of life coach, when she told me that I was right where I was supposed to be, because I was there. At the time, I didn’t feel like I was supposed to be here. So I fought that belief she introduced to me. But you know what? Eventually I discovered that she was right. We are all right where we need to be doing what we need to do. I am one of many in my community doing the important work of raising consciousness. I meet people all the time who are befuddled as to why they felt so compelled to move here. But I welcome them and thank them for coming, because I know the bigger picture as to why they have come. I feel it to my core.
Of course hind sight is 20/20. We have all experienced that. Even for me, I’ve had the feeling of “really? I needed to be in that relationship for 10 years to learn that lesson?” But I’ve had to accept that yes, it took me 10 years to learn, and that’s exactly what I needed to be doing then. We sometimes think we’re supposed to be in other places doing other things with different people, but what has been reinforced for me time and again over the last year and a half is that we are always right where we need to be.
The last year hasn’t just been about creating a new business and pushing and hustling to have it succeed. It’s been about cultivating peace in the unknown. It’s been about finally having the time and freedom to heal long-held wounds. It’s been about learning to follow and trust my intuition wholeheartedly so that I am always guided to my next inspired step. If I had been swooped up and flown from quitting my RN job in the hospital and straight into the current work I am doing, I would have missed the even more important journey of becoming the person I needed to be in order to do the things I’m currently doing. EVERY experience we have has value, even if we don’t see it at the time, or hind sight tells us that we’re stupid because we didn’t see the red flags. Life isn’t happening to us, it’s happening for us, mostly for our growth and expansion. We are also balancing out energies from past lives, dealing with traumas passed down through our family lines, and creating life from beliefs we locked in about ourselves and/or life from traumas during childhood. We don’t know the why of everything and our human minds aren’t what we need to figure that out. Sometimes we just have to accept where we’re at, and if we’re not happy, then strive to make changes.
If I told you that YOU are the powerful creator of your reality, what would you like to do? Starting setting intentions for how you want to feel in your life day to day. What kind of day do you intend to have today? Realize you have the power to focus on what you want. If you’re not living a life you love, start paying attention to where your focus is going. Fighting against something is the same as fighting for it, so be careful to direct your energy away from the thing you want to change and on what you hope will replace it.
The first things I tell everyone I work with to start doing is to keep a gratitude journal. I’ve seen how it has shifted my train of thought and focus in my own life. Writing down new things that I am grateful for every day allows me to stay in appreciation mode and out of lack, negativity, and complaining mode. It especially helped me when I was struggling with my work in the hospital, because it lifted me up and reminded me of all of the amazing things in my life. We are each so blessed. Like me, you’ve probably been taking the device you’re using right now and the WiFi you have access to in order to read this post. Let me tell you, when you don’t have WiFi at home, you learn to appreciate it. There is much that many of us take for granted every single day. But instead of giving thanks for what we DO have, we get stuck in a negative cycle of complaining about and focusing on what we DON’T have. Break the cycle, change your life for the better. You are the only one responsible for your reality. The sooner you internalize that, the sooner you can flip your script, stop giving your power away, get out of victim mode and thrive.
If you’re noticing that you’re stuck in time and repeating the same patterns, behaviors, and experiencing chronic issues of any kind, the Holographic Kinetics sessions that I do can really stand to help you. Holographic Kinetics is based on Dreamtime Healing of the aboriginal people in Australia and offers powerful healing at the spirit level. During a session with me (or a practitioner near you), you’re able to trace an issue back to its original cause and change the dimension of time, so that it stops affecting your life negatively. My own sessions during training have changed my life. I realize now that they helped me become who I needed to be in this now moment. I’ve noticed huge shifts in how I feel about myself and life, and that has caused me to make different decisions that have completely affected my path. If you’re interested, email me at email@example.com. I’d love to hear from you!
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“Life is much too short to continue to wait for someone else’s permission to fully live.”
Often we don’t realize we’re doing it, waiting for permission that is, but many of us are. Who are you giving your power away to?
Your parents? The ones who think that you should follow the status quo, because even after their divorce and decision to not date, they still believe that ultimate happiness for everyone lies in the house, the fence, the marriage, and the kids? When are you going to realize that you don’t have to live up to your parents’ expectations of you in order to be a fully whole and worthy human being? If your parents shoot down every idea you present to them that lights you up, stop telling them your plans. Stop asking for their opinions. Your journey is yours alone, and sometimes even your parents won’t understand you. And that’s OK.
Your kids? Maybe you’re a parent and you have Mom guilt about taking a trip alone. I know I did before I left for Western Australia in June of ‘18. Even though my son had balked at the idea of such a long flight, I still felt bad that he wasn’t going with me. But, at one point, I realized that it wasn’t right to put the burden of not following my life-long dream on my son’s shoulders. I think we wrongly do that a lot. We categorize ourselves as parents and then feel bad for anything we do outside of that role without our kids. We’re essentially feeding into the notion that our joy and self-care stops being important once our kids are born. But, if I have learned anything at all, it’s that I am a much better Mom when I have been consciously keeping my own bucket full. Our kids will be much better off if they have parents who take good care of themselves body, mind, and spirit. Our kids learn by what they see us do, not from our words, so in taking care of ourselves, we’re showing them how to take care of themselves. It’s not selfish, it’s vitally important.
Your partner? Perhaps they don’t like to do the things you want to do, and so you’ve just given up and decided that it’s easier if you just don’t do them. If you’re living that way, it’s only a matter of time before you lose yourself completely. It’s depressing to live a life in which you’re not following your joy. If your partner loves you unconditionally, then they will understand that it’s important for you to do things regularly that bring you joy. Maybe that’s not it, but you’ve been miserable for a long time and you’ve tried counseling and nothing is working. Your partner hasn’t made any effort towards making the partnership better, but then tells you they don’t want it to end. Know that you do not need their permission to leave. Know that any outsider who judges you for your feelings about your relationship has no business doing so, because they’re not in it. They can’t understand your experience, and they can’t see the dreams you hold for your life. It’s OK to let go. You don’t need anyone else’s permission but your own. I had friends offer their two cents as I was deciding on what to do about my own marriage. All it did was add to my guilt for feeling the things I felt. I stopped talking about it with other people, and ultimately made the decision that was best for me and my family. Side note: if you’re reading books titled things like “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”, it’s really time to leave. If it’s not a hell yes, then it’s a no. That goes for any decision in life.
Even when advice comes with good intentions, no one outside of us should hold power over us when it comes to living our best lives. Our journey is unique to us, and we’ve got to stop trying to get others to understand it before we feel comfortable enough in making decisions. We have one life to live. Make it count.
Want to work with me one on one? Check out the Work With Me tab and see if the combination of Intuitive Reiki Healing and Joy Coaching resonates with you. Feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I love to hear from people!
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I am living proof that great pain can lead to massive transformation.
I spent much of my life as a peacekeeper and people-pleaser. I put the peace of a space and others’ well-being above my own. I became a sort of chameleon, changing in small ways to try and reduce tension in my house growing up, and later as a way to keep other people comfortable. I had an innate sense that if everyone around me was OK, that I would then be OK too. But I wasn’t OK. With each concession I made to create less waves, I moved farther and farther away from my true self. I didn’t notice it at first and couldn’t have predicted the level of depression and dis-ease that changing myself for others would cause someday.
When I found myself in a loveless marriage where I was lonelier than I have ever felt in times where I have actually been alone, I ignored what my heart was telling me. I had been so adamant about creating a family for my son, to be a happy, intact family that I hadn’t experienced, that to follow my heart meant to leave that dream behind for all of us. So, I ignored that knowing sense that I felt. I buried myself in raising my son. But it could not last forever. Eventually, my heart grew weak and nearly stopped working and I found myself at rock bottom. In one fell swoop, my health was taken from me, and I nearly died of heart failure. An emergent heart surgery later and I slowly began to find my way back to myself.
The recovery felt fast at first, until it became apparent that my heart condition was going to be a recurring theme in my life. Doctors had trouble figuring it out, and so they did what they could to ward it off with a steroid bandaid in the form of prednisone pills.
There are lots of parts to this story, but the take away is much more important at this point, for me and for you.
1. Stop putting yourself second to the wishes of others. Humans are fickle beings, and won’t stay happy for long before you’re feeling the need to do more to feed their happiness. You don’t have the ability to make anyone else happy if they themselves haven’t found a way to cultivate happiness in their own life. We can add to another’s happiness, but we are not responsible for creating it.
2. Stop changing yourself to fit in with the people around you. In the end, you’ll feel like a shell of yourself, plus you’ll soon realize that they’re not your people anyway. Who wants to hang out with people who don’t love you for being 100% yourself? The chameleon game is an exhausting one. You’ll find yourself eventually losing yourself and wondering how it happened. It happens in small, incremental changes you make in yourself to make others comfortable. You likely won’t realize it’s happening until you’ve forgotten even the basics of what you like to do for fun, and who you are at your core.
3. Stop doing things that stress you out, like really stress you out. If you’re in a relationship that adds more stress to your life than happiness, don’t feel bad about putting yourself first and leaving. You don’t have anything to prove to anyone by staying. Life is much too short to spend it with people who don’t light you up. Same goes with anything else in life.
4. Stop doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. It’s not only the definition of insanity, but it won’t get you into a different life that you’ve been imagining for yourself. If you want something different than what you currently have, you’ve got to be willing to move out of your comfort zone and do new things.
5. Start putting yourself first. Do things that make you happy, that bring you joy. What have you been putting off that you really want to do? What steps can you take towards doing it now? Start saying no to things you don’t want to do.
We can use our experiences to guide us in life or we can use them to feel like victims. The choice is ours. If you’re stressed, or sick, or not living your best life, it’s time to look at the areas of your life that are no longer working for you. The days of being a people-pleaser, peacekeeper, and martyr are over. The time has come for us all to realize our limitless potential to create a life of our dreams. Life is much too short to continue to wait for someone else’s permission to fully live! Give yourself the permission you need to go after your dreams like this is the only shot you’ve got!
I am passionate about working with people and encouraging them to follow their joy and passion towards living a life in alignment with their soul’s purpose (ie. living their best lives). Guiding others in this way and offering the confirmation that they need to follow their dreams lights me up like nothing else! Please follow me on Facebook and/or Instagram for more written content and impromptu FB Live videos. If my words resonate with you, please feel free to reach out to me at email@example.com to tell me about it! I love connecting with people!! Maybe you have a topic you’d love me to write about?
Photo excerpt from “Life Visioning” by Michael Bernard Beckwith
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Do you see souls too? I have a way of falling in love with people’s souls and their potential in this life. Sometimes this means that I ignore their human-ness that isn’t always lined up with their soul. Personally, while I’ve begun to pay more attention to the full package of a person, I’ve decided that I love seeing the radiance of a person’s soul. I would not trade this ability for anything in the world. I have grown so much and can handle it when a person lets me down, so I love them anyway. Because loving people never hurts us. It only hurts when we aren’t giving ourselves love first. Or lose ourselves in the relationship and our expectations of it. It doesn’t hurt to love. We can love to love without needing anything beyond it.
The chance that exactly you would be born is about 1 in 400 trillion or more (thank you google😂)!! If you weren’t meant to be here exactly now as exactly you, you wouldn’t have made the cut in the first place. You are here because you have something to offer this world that NO ONE else can offer! We need YOU and we need you to show up as 100% your authentic and vulnerable self so that we can reap the full benefit of your existence on this planet. YOU CANNOT BE REPLACED. So, if you’re reading this and you’re struggling and you don’t know if you can face another day alone, then please reach out to one of the 7 billion of us who love you and let us be there for you as you navigate this difficult time. There’s a reason why so many of us exist, we are meant to help each other along on our journeys. Many of us have known dark times, I know I have, so we understand how bleak life can look at times. Keep going, and allow us to carry you when you need us to. You are never a burden to your tribe. We need you to be here. We need you to stay here. We see your beautiful soul and it is absolutely RADIANT! We love you!
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Have you ever read something and had it just strike you as so much truth that you felt a little slapped in the face by it? That’s exactly what happened to me when I read this quote from Phil Good on my IG feed recently. I have seen this play out in my own life. In the past, when I was not giving myself what I needed, I got mad at the people in my life who weren’t giving me those things. When I lacked self-love, I was angry when others did not show me love in the way I felt I needed it. I lashed out and fell into victim mode. And being a victim in life is no way to live. It’s sucks the joy out of our days and it keeps us feeling separate from everyone around us. When we act like victims of circumstance rather than active creators of our realities, we give away all of our power to things, people, and situations outside of ourselves. After all, it was ME I needed the love from, not anyone else. When I felt like I needed love from others, my love was more conditional. It was subconsciously dependent on what the other person was adding to my life. If they weren’t giving me what I felt I needed from them, I got upset, felt unloved, unloveable, and allowed it to create a rift between us. This pattern showed up for parents, partners, and friends alike. When I felt like I needed love from others, I was a people-pleaser who never wanted to create waves. I tiptoed around trying to make everyone else happy, because I had the unconscious belief that in order for me to be OK, I needed everyone else around to be OK first. Can you relate?
I lacked love for myself, so for the sake and comfort of my ego, I felt like I needed it from others in order to fill the inner void, and feel whole and worthy. This meant that for most of my life, I went from long-term relationship to long-term relationship without breaks in between. In order to feel like ‘enough’, I couldn’t possibly leave any breathing room in which no one would be telling me or showing me that I was lovable. I didn’t believe I was lovable, so time on my own would have been too painful and empty to bear. At times, this caused me to start a new relationship before fully ending the old one. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it acted to soften the blow in the moment. In reality, never being single was just a way of placing a temporary bandaid over a much larger, underlying wound.
When I used to give to everyone but myself, my love cup was always half empty and I watched as one-sided relationships showed up in my existence time after time. It upset me, and I’d end the relationship first. Of course, I wasn’t always aware of this dynamic in a conscious way. It took being intimate with a best friend I had had for many years to make this clear to me. How could it be that yet again, I wasn’t feeling love reciprocated? How could it be that it now felt one-sided like all the others before it? If this was happening with the one person who knew me better than anyone, and from whom I had felt loved unconditionally just as I was, then maybe it was an issue with me, not him. I now see that the one-sided relationships came from only giving love to others, but not to myself. You may not know me well, and you may not know this person I was with or the special bond that we shared, but try to believe me when I say that if THAT relationship wasn’t ultimately filling the void I felt inside, I knew that nothing or no one else could (and you and I are the same, so this is your truth too). In fact, that was the Universe’s way of teaching me the lesson that I am the only one who needs to love me, and I am the only one able to fill my own inner void. The lesson was there before in my past relationships, but I was stubborn in my ego and had always thought it was a problem with the other person, not me. Don’t our egos just love to blame our problems on other people? I was blind to it until I was with my best friend of 15+ years, and had the pattern thrust into my face. Because if I was able to get to a point of feeling unloved, neglected, and abandoned in THAT relationship, then I had to face up to it being a problem with me and how I was showing up in my relationships with other people, and ultimately in my relationship with myself. After all, the only constant in all of my relationships was me.
What I now realize is that in those times, what I was giving to others was not love at all, but instead an expectation for love in return. I’ve come to believe that when we offer conditional love, it is not actually love at all. Only unconditional love, without expectations or requirements that the other person do anything specific or measure up to any standard we have set, is true love. True love is loving a person for exactly who they are, immense human and soul beauty, baggage and all, without needing them to love us back. We see them and accept them as they are and decide from that place to love them. We do not need them to tell us that they love us back. (And we’re not hurt when they don’t). We do not need them to buy us things. We do not need them to show up in our lives in any specific way. We offer them love for the sake of love. We offer them space in our lives simply because we enjoy their presence.
As I have learned to fill my own bucket with self-love, and the things that light me up, I expect/need very little from others. That’s not to say that I don’t deserve love from other people, but I now recognize that the issue of not feeling loved is always with me and not the other person. When we fully accept ourselves just as we are, we can start to love ourselves, baggage and all. As we do this, our love bucket spills over and we are able to share the excess with other people and the world. It is only from this place of excess love that we can offer true love to others. This is why it’s so important to throw out the word ‘selfish’ and to realize that self-care is NOT selfish, but rather it is necessary if we want to be the love for ourselves and others that we came here to be. Always do the things that please you and light you up FIRST, because we’re working out of order, and can not be there for anyone else if we’re applying everyone else’s oxygen masks before our own.
We’ve got a society of people who have been led to believe that it is the things and people outside of ourselves that will fill our internal void and need for love. It’s by design and keeps us living small as good consumers. This society thrives on blind followers and consumerism. You will only find true love and true happiness when you realize that it is an inner job that can only be completed by you. No person, place, or thing will ever fill that inner void. So, start deciding to do what you love, to put yourself first, and to love and accept yourself fully as you are today, perfectly imperfect. You and I are beautifully human and innately enough. But me telling you so will do nothing until you believe it for yourself.
It took a lot of inner work and therapy to uncover these truths. I didn’t magically wake up one day realizing the things that were holding me back and then changing them. It has taken a very conscious effort on my part to heal and clear the blocks that have held me back in life, and some that continue to hold me back. The rewards for clearing these blocks are more authenticity and vulnerability in our lives, which I find directly correlates to more inner peace and happiness. In this busy world, do not forget to follow your joy. Your joy will always lead you back to your true self and place you in alignment with your higher self. It is from that alignment that you can experience the limitless nature of this life. Do not allow the inner work to be one more thing to be afraid of in this world, but instead allow it to be the key to your ultimate freedom.
It is my passion and purpose in this life to help others on their own healing journeys. I enjoy using a combination of my strong intuition, Reiki healing, and Joy Coaching as part of my process. If this speaks to you, do not hesitate to reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I always love hearing from my readers!
Thank you so much for reading along. If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Please feel free to leave a comment below if my words resonate with you. Much love!