I used to buy notebooks and journals all the time, and never write in them. Then, in about 2015, I started filling them and I haven’t stopped. The words just keep pouring out of me. During the times in my life when I lost my voice and gave my power away to other people and other things outside of myself, I withheld my creative expression. Now, it’s as if the floodgates have opened!
I remember times in my life when my energy overwhelmed the people I was closest to in my life. I remember times of having my words and actions questioned to the point of causing me to retreat deep inside of myself, because I felt “wrong” in every way I was trying to show up in the world. I remember the numerous times when people said I talked too much. You know, when you’re as sensitive as I am, you’re hearing people’s words and sensing what they’re thinking and feeling about you.
I am so happy that I have taken the time to get really confident in myself to the point of not caring if someone doesn’t like the way I’m showing up. I know that my energy attracts my tribe and I see how the people and situations in my life have shifted accordingly. I am happy that I have cultivated my communication over the years, because it’s extremely important for my purpose and the work I do. Communication is key to my favorite — connection. I’m so glad that through the course of my lifetime, I have taken classes, and have been in situations that required me to write a LOT. Again, all important for my purpose.
On May 31, 2018, after leaving my last shift as an RN in the hospital, I wrote: “I have chosen to follow my intuition, the synchronicities, and the urgings of my spirit and step onto a mostly invisible path. And I’ve never felt more at peace or more confident in my decisions as I do right now. I turn 39 tomorrow and fly around the world to a place I have dreamed of going since I was 18 — AUSTRALIA! It has taken me the better part of 39 years to get to this place. Today, I feel like I walked to the edge of a tall, spiring cliff, arms raised up like wings in the air, and jumped off into the great unknown with a confidence I didn’t have 3 years ago.”
Show up! Take risks! Live large!
I could have never seen the changes that would happen in my life from the ones I made back in 2018. My life looks nothing like I thought it would. I’m doing things for work now that didn’t even know existed back then! My personal sessions of Holographic Kinetics have only added to my confidence. One of the issues I cleared isn’t one I knew I had – feeling like there was something wrong with me. I had been carrying that around with me since my 20’s. It has been an experiment of sorts to clear issues like this one through Holographic Kinetics and then wait and see how it shifts my life. It’s hard to pinpoint the individual shifts and what issue’s release led to them, but I do know that I just feel so much more confident and comfortable in my own skin, and so much more trusting in my journey.
If you’re interested in having a Holographic Kinetics session with me, email me at email@example.com for more information. This week, I have openings on Thursday morning, Friday evening, and Saturday. I usually have availability on Tuesday and Thursday mornings and Saturday and Sunday. I schedule within the week we’re in. You can also visit http://www.holographickinetics.com for more information.
Thank you so much for reading. If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG and FB for more inspiring content. Sending you all lots of love!
My current song obsession can be heard HERE. It’s Nahko and Medicine for the People’s “Aloha Ke Akua”. And the even more fitting song, “Confidence” by Matisyahu HERE.
When you open my chest on the autopsy table you will find the silver lining around my scarred heart marking the illness I overcame.
You will find a turquoise sea of love that I experienced throughout my lifetime.
Lust for places I traveled to and fell in love with, and all of the places that were always on my list for a future time.
You will find images of my son tucked away — saving them like photographs in an old static-cling photo album we always had when I was a kid.
You will find the joy that filled my days after the needle that removed the serosanguineous fluid from around my heart gave me a second chance at life — true, fully alive life.
You will find parts of every person I have connected with, every moment in nature I’ve spent, and every adventure I have ever had.
Body decaying, spirit gone on to the next life to live and love again through another suit with its own bones and flesh and organs.
A chest open with remnants remaining with the spark of my spirit on to the next time and place.
When you open my chest on the autopsy table, you won’t find me.
I am boundless and ever-evolving.
I’ll be back among the stars.
Energy swirling around the cosmos connecting back in with the Source that I AM.
When my body died, my spirit lept out and became everything that it always was — INFINITE.
I wrote this in a spoken word workshop I participated in this past weekend. We all had to include the same 5 words (I accidentally left one of them out) with the same opening line. We wrote for 10 minutes. This is what came of it. I hadn’t really thought about what I had written until I stood in front of the group to read it. Reading it out loud moved me to tears. It made me realize how even with everything I’ve been through, life is so very beautiful.
When I do leave this body, I want the people who love me to internalize this message. Read this at a party on the beach around a bonfire while people drum, dance, and celebrate! Toss my cremated remains into the sea and move on with gratitude for any moments you shared with me. We are far more than the meat suits we’re currently wearing. Life would not be so sweet without death. We are all infinite spiritual beings having a human experience.
Thank you for being here. If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG or FB for more inspiring content. Sending you all so much love!
I saw this post come up in my FB feed recently and out of curiosity, I began to read the comments, which I don’t often do. Most people were saying that observing rather than absorbing the energy around them was an impossibility as empaths and “healers”. My intention was to shed some light on the subject to help give people a sense of their power for creating their reality. Humans are quick to label and be fit into boxes with self-limitations. Realizing I fit the description of an “empath” was only the beginning of the truth for me on that subject, not the end. It helped some things about me make more sense, but it hasn’t ultimately defined me. I have learned that I had to grow from that place, vs stay stagnant in the definition of empath. The truth is that we are infinite consciousness in human form and therefore powerful creators of our realities! I decided that it may be helpful to include what I wrote in the comments here, so that the messages can reach more people. I had several people write and ask questions or comment and this is missing their portions, but it is my hope that you’ll still be able to take something useful away from it nonetheless. This information can be helpful for everyone, not just those who identify as being empathic.
“I think people are missing the point. Empaths pick up on energy, but we definitely don’t have to be absorbing it. That’s part of being an empath is learning self-care and boundary setting and realizing our power to NOT be swayed by the energy of the things and people around us by simply stating Observe not absorb. We are all energetic beings who are affected by energy around us. Stating this helps us be an observer of games we walk into without falling into it. This is also an extremely important phrase to say that prevents us from taking on things from other dimensions that wish to control us. I say it to myself before I watch movies and listen to the radio, before going to a bar to dance, before going to public events, or places with group meditations going on. We are living by universal laws, NOT human laws, and this is a phrase that stands to help us all immensely.”
Responding to someone who equated being an empath to HAVING to absorb energy:
“Yes I’m included in that group (empaths), and I have had to learn my own power to find ways to not absorb. It’s not that we have to absorb just because we’re sensitive to energy and absorb naturally. Setting intentions to not absorb and learning how to differentiate our energy from the energy outside of ourselves is key. It’s been a journey to get to where I’m at with it and part of it is knowing I don’t have to absorb if I don’t want to. We think it’s so difficult, but saying ‘observe not absorb as an intention to our own spirit really is powerful. When we make requests to our own spirit, it will rearrange the universe to make things happen. We’ve lost sight of this because people think they need prayers to a god or angels to make things happen. We do not. In fact, that only opens us up to things in other dimensions. Do I transmute energy by being me? Yes. Do I shift energy around me by being in alignment? Yes. Can I get knocked out of balance by another person’s energy? Yes. Does energy of the collective affect me? Yes. But I’m aware now and can recognize it and I know effective ways to not take on energy/interdimensional interferences around me. Empaths need to learn their power. Many have gotten stuck at the discovery that they are extra sensitive and have wrongly, seemingly, assumed the role of a victim because many of us have gone through relationships with narcissists. Our empathy is actually our superpower and can be used in amazing ways when we learn how.”
Responding to someone experiencing a lot of “negative” energy currently:
“There’s a lot coming through for all of us right now as part of the collective to show us things we need to heal at a deeper level. For example lots of childhood wounds have been coming up for me and friends of mine because our spirits are ready for us to heal these things once and for all. Just recognizing the energy and feeling the emotions it brings or saying that you release what isn’t yours helps. When we recognize energy as not being ours, we can ask to not absorb it or to allow it to move through if it needs to and then be released. We never have to cling to energy and try and figure it out with our minds. Sometimes just cultivating that awareness that you are is enough to not have it affect you as much. Feeling negative energy isn’t a problem. It’s when we internalize it that it gives us problems.”
Responding to someone who spoke of light forces and dark forces and the belief that we’re not doing any of this alone (referring to spirit guides etc):
“I have come to realize that all I need is alignment with my own spirit. I do not wish to call on anything from outside of myself because of what I have learned on my journey. I have no doubt that we also have benevolent beings assisting us, but I have come to realize my own power in my alignment that I do not need outside help anymore. I know what you’re saying. Our beliefs sound similar and a bit different which is welcome by me and OK. This is how we expand our consciousness. If you want to know some of what I have learned, feel free to check out the powerful healing modality I’m trained in called Holographic Kinetics based on Dreamtime Healing of the aboriginal people of Australia at www.holographickinetics.com. Many of my views shifted after this training and what I’ve witnessed in my own sessions and my clients’ sessions. I will never pray to gods or guides or angels again, just as I will never practice reiki or any healing where I get the energy from anywhere but my own spirit. When we learn universal laws at work and how interdimensional interferences can get in to control us, we get VERY selective and intentional about everything in our lives. Just as things like religion have tricked us into being controlled, so has the “new age” movement in many ways. People are so quick to still think they need help from outside of themselves when I’ve had the same results with sending only healing energy from my own spirit, and the same results asking my own spirit for guidance as I used to from other sources. If we’re being told we need to rely on ANYTHING from outside of ourselves, we’re being lied to. I appreciate this conversation with you. Thank you for opening this up so much.”
Responding to someone who said they wished they could experience life from my perspective and who asked if I had advice about learning how to not take on other people’s energy:
“I really appreciated this message when I read it earlier. Thank you for being a witness. I wanted to take time to think about how to respond to you. The most basic thing I can say about what I’ve learned is that alignment with our own spirit is the KEY to absolutely everything else. It is also important to learn how to quiet the mind and be an observer of our thoughts. I have spent so much time in alignment now that I know how that feels in my body and mind. For instance, I used to have so many thoughts a day that it was overwhelming at times. Or maybe I didn’t know it was happening but it was affecting me. Now, being mostly in the present moment at any given time, my mind is much quieter. So I can really tell if I’m having a day where my mind is all over the place and feels jumbled. I recognize it and then practice calming it. Same for energy. Really I think being a nurse in the hospital for nearly 5.5 years was my best practice for learning what was mind vs someone else’s. It started to be obvious to me when my mood took a nose dive after giving report to a night nurse who had a lot of negative energy coming from her. The first time it happened, my mood went down and it affected me for the night. Then, I started noticing the pattern and that awareness could then allow me to release that energy I had taken on as not my own to deal with and my mood would shift fairly quickly. Then, the practice became recognizing their energy as it was happening and choosing to not absorb it so then my energy and mood wasn’t affected at all. I just started feeling love towards the person as it was apparent to me that they had something going on in their life. Where I once dreaded giving report to this person, I stopped taking it personally (at first it felt like they didn’t like me at all). Before I left that job, she was one nurse who would always get excited when she saw I was giving her report! We see what we expect to see. If we believe that we’re empaths and in a way victims of taking on energy from around us, then we get stuck in that role. But we don’t have to stay there. I’m still sensitive to energy, like being able to read it and be super aware of it, but I choose to not take it on. Our intentions that we say out loud are extremely powerful. Start by setting the intention to only observe and not absorb anything as you start your day. Set the intention to not take on other people’s energy as you move through your day and tell your spirit to let you know when you’re picking up something from someone else. Or if you notice someone giving off energy you don’t want to take on, then say so in your head as you’re around them. Our thoughts and words are THAT powerful. We don’t need a ritual or a prayer or a crystal to do it because we have our infinite, limitless, powerful spirits to do it for us! In our sovereignty, we hold all the power.”
This isn’t my complete view on these subjects, but this is what came out during the discussion with multiple other people. No subject is black and white, and I remain open to adjusting my perspective with everything I come to learn and experience day by day. I hope that you give yourself and your mind that same freedom. We never have to lock into one way of being, doing, seeing, or believing. We are multidimensional beings who are constantly evolving our consciousness past the boundaries that we functioned within yesterday, or even 10 minutes ago. The more comfortable we get with questioning everything and not holding tight to any belief, the more free we become, and our spirits yearn to be FREE!
If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG or FB for more inspirational posts! Sending you all so much love!
We aren’t taught that what we focus on grows, but it’s true. We do ourselves a MAJOR disservice when we continually run worst case scenarios and negative thoughts through our heads. When we get stuck in that repetitive cycle and add complaining to it, we literally become a giant magnet for more of what we don’t want. It’s why people who live their lives this way feel a sort of knowing that life sucks so bad. The negative things that keep happening in their lives keep reinforcing they’re beliefs. And they always want to tell everyone about it. They think of every terrible aspect of their life constantly, and so they manifest more negative situations to think and complain about. Then they’ll respond like “see, I told you life is horrible! Look at xyz that just got added to my pile of shit.” Truth is, they’re powerful creators and they’re manifesting everything in their life.
I was with someone who thought their family was cursed. While their family had suffered big traumas, their belief that they all had bad luck did not help them at all. Not only were they giving their power away by believing that something out there was throwing them more things to complain about, but they were constantly providing more energy to the belief that life was never easy for them.
Knowing that where I focus my energy literally creates my life, I am selective about my thoughts. It started with an awareness that my thoughts about myself and life were why I was suffering. Sure, things in my life at the time weren’t going as I would have liked. I felt stuck in California away from my family and I had done everything in my power to try and change it. Now all that was left was to accept my situation. I remember getting so annoyed with a woman I was working with, a sort of life coach, when she told me that I was right where I was supposed to be, because I was there. At the time, I didn’t feel like I was supposed to be here. So I fought that belief she introduced to me. But you know what? Eventually I discovered that she was right. We are all right where we need to be doing what we need to do. I am one of many in my community doing the important work of raising consciousness. I meet people all the time who are befuddled as to why they felt so compelled to move here. But I welcome them and thank them for coming, because I know the bigger picture as to why they have come. I feel it to my core.
Of course hind sight is 20/20. We have all experienced that. Even for me, I’ve had the feeling of “really? I needed to be in that relationship for 10 years to learn that lesson?” But I’ve had to accept that yes, it took me 10 years to learn, and that’s exactly what I needed to be doing then. We sometimes think we’re supposed to be in other places doing other things with different people, but what has been reinforced for me time and again over the last year and a half is that we are always right where we need to be.
The last year hasn’t just been about creating a new business and pushing and hustling to have it succeed. It’s been about cultivating peace in the unknown. It’s been about finally having the time and freedom to heal long-held wounds. It’s been about learning to follow and trust my intuition wholeheartedly so that I am always guided to my next inspired step. If I had been swooped up and flown from quitting my RN job in the hospital and straight into the current work I am doing, I would have missed the even more important journey of becoming the person I needed to be in order to do the things I’m currently doing. EVERY experience we have has value, even if we don’t see it at the time, or hind sight tells us that we’re stupid because we didn’t see the red flags. Life isn’t happening to us, it’s happening for us, mostly for our growth and expansion. We are also balancing out energies from past lives, dealing with traumas passed down through our family lines, and creating life from beliefs we locked in about ourselves and/or life from traumas during childhood. We don’t know the why of everything and our human minds aren’t what we need to figure that out. Sometimes we just have to accept where we’re at, and if we’re not happy, then strive to make changes.
If I told you that YOU are the powerful creator of your reality, what would you like to do? Starting setting intentions for how you want to feel in your life day to day. What kind of day do you intend to have today? Realize you have the power to focus on what you want. If you’re not living a life you love, start paying attention to where your focus is going. Fighting against something is the same as fighting for it, so be careful to direct your energy away from the thing you want to change and on what you hope will replace it.
The first things I tell everyone I work with to start doing is to keep a gratitude journal. I’ve seen how it has shifted my train of thought and focus in my own life. Writing down new things that I am grateful for every day allows me to stay in appreciation mode and out of lack, negativity, and complaining mode. It especially helped me when I was struggling with my work in the hospital, because it lifted me up and reminded me of all of the amazing things in my life. We are each so blessed. Like me, you’ve probably been taking the device you’re using right now and the WiFi you have access to in order to read this post. Let me tell you, when you don’t have WiFi at home, you learn to appreciate it. There is much that many of us take for granted every single day. But instead of giving thanks for what we DO have, we get stuck in a negative cycle of complaining about and focusing on what we DON’T have. Break the cycle, change your life for the better. You are the only one responsible for your reality. The sooner you internalize that, the sooner you can flip your script, stop giving your power away, get out of victim mode and thrive.
If you’re noticing that you’re stuck in time and repeating the same patterns, behaviors, and experiencing chronic issues of any kind, the Holographic Kinetics sessions that I do can really stand to help you. Holographic Kinetics is based on Dreamtime Healing of the aboriginal people in Australia and offers powerful healing at the spirit level. During a session with me (or a practitioner near you), you’re able to trace an issue back to its original cause and change the dimension of time, so that it stops affecting your life negatively. My own sessions during training have changed my life. I realize now that they helped me become who I needed to be in this now moment. I’ve noticed huge shifts in how I feel about myself and life, and that has caused me to make different decisions that have completely affected my path. If you’re interested, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’d love to hear from you!
Thank you for reading along! If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG or FB for more inspirational posts.
“Life is much too short to continue to wait for someone else’s permission to fully live.”
Often we don’t realize we’re doing it, waiting for permission that is, but many of us are. Who are you giving your power away to?
Your parents? The ones who think that you should follow the status quo, because even after their divorce and decision to not date, they still believe that ultimate happiness for everyone lies in the house, the fence, the marriage, and the kids? When are you going to realize that you don’t have to live up to your parents’ expectations of you in order to be a fully whole and worthy human being? If your parents shoot down every idea you present to them that lights you up, stop telling them your plans. Stop asking for their opinions. Your journey is yours alone, and sometimes even your parents won’t understand you. And that’s OK.
Your kids? Maybe you’re a parent and you have Mom guilt about taking a trip alone. I know I did before I left for Western Australia in June of ‘18. Even though my son had balked at the idea of such a long flight, I still felt bad that he wasn’t going with me. But, at one point, I realized that it wasn’t right to put the burden of not following my life-long dream on my son’s shoulders. I think we wrongly do that a lot. We categorize ourselves as parents and then feel bad for anything we do outside of that role without our kids. We’re essentially feeding into the notion that our joy and self-care stops being important once our kids are born. But, if I have learned anything at all, it’s that I am a much better Mom when I have been consciously keeping my own bucket full. Our kids will be much better off if they have parents who take good care of themselves body, mind, and spirit. Our kids learn by what they see us do, not from our words, so in taking care of ourselves, we’re showing them how to take care of themselves. It’s not selfish, it’s vitally important.
Your partner? Perhaps they don’t like to do the things you want to do, and so you’ve just given up and decided that it’s easier if you just don’t do them. If you’re living that way, it’s only a matter of time before you lose yourself completely. It’s depressing to live a life in which you’re not following your joy. If your partner loves you unconditionally, then they will understand that it’s important for you to do things regularly that bring you joy. Maybe that’s not it, but you’ve been miserable for a long time and you’ve tried counseling and nothing is working. Your partner hasn’t made any effort towards making the partnership better, but then tells you they don’t want it to end. Know that you do not need their permission to leave. Know that any outsider who judges you for your feelings about your relationship has no business doing so, because they’re not in it. They can’t understand your experience, and they can’t see the dreams you hold for your life. It’s OK to let go. You don’t need anyone else’s permission but your own. I had friends offer their two cents as I was deciding on what to do about my own marriage. All it did was add to my guilt for feeling the things I felt. I stopped talking about it with other people, and ultimately made the decision that was best for me and my family. Side note: if you’re reading books titled things like “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”, it’s really time to leave. If it’s not a hell yes, then it’s a no. That goes for any decision in life.
Even when advice comes with good intentions, no one outside of us should hold power over us when it comes to living our best lives. Our journey is unique to us, and we’ve got to stop trying to get others to understand it before we feel comfortable enough in making decisions. We have one life to live. Make it count.
Want to work with me one on one? Check out the Work With Me tab and see if the combination of Intuitive Reiki Healing and Joy Coaching resonates with you. Feel free to email me at email@example.com. I love to hear from people!
Please follow me on FB (/peacefuljellyfish) and IG (peaceful.jellyfish) for more written content and impromptu FB Live Videos. I also have a Peaceful Jellyfish YouTube Channel you can check out.
If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Much love!
I am living proof that great pain can lead to massive transformation.
I spent much of my life as a peacekeeper and people-pleaser. I put the peace of a space and others’ well-being above my own. I became a sort of chameleon, changing in small ways to try and reduce tension in my house growing up, and later as a way to keep other people comfortable. I had an innate sense that if everyone around me was OK, that I would then be OK too. But I wasn’t OK. With each concession I made to create less waves, I moved farther and farther away from my true self. I didn’t notice it at first and couldn’t have predicted the level of depression and dis-ease that changing myself for others would cause someday.
When I found myself in a loveless marriage where I was lonelier than I have ever felt in times where I have actually been alone, I ignored what my heart was telling me. I had been so adamant about creating a family for my son, to be a happy, intact family that I hadn’t experienced, that to follow my heart meant to leave that dream behind for all of us. So, I ignored that knowing sense that I felt. I buried myself in raising my son. But it could not last forever. Eventually, my heart grew weak and nearly stopped working and I found myself at rock bottom. In one fell swoop, my health was taken from me, and I nearly died of heart failure. An emergent heart surgery later and I slowly began to find my way back to myself.
The recovery felt fast at first, until it became apparent that my heart condition was going to be a recurring theme in my life. Doctors had trouble figuring it out, and so they did what they could to ward it off with a steroid bandaid in the form of prednisone pills.
There are lots of parts to this story, but the take away is much more important at this point, for me and for you.
1. Stop putting yourself second to the wishes of others. Humans are fickle beings, and won’t stay happy for long before you’re feeling the need to do more to feed their happiness. You don’t have the ability to make anyone else happy if they themselves haven’t found a way to cultivate happiness in their own life. We can add to another’s happiness, but we are not responsible for creating it.
2. Stop changing yourself to fit in with the people around you. In the end, you’ll feel like a shell of yourself, plus you’ll soon realize that they’re not your people anyway. Who wants to hang out with people who don’t love you for being 100% yourself? The chameleon game is an exhausting one. You’ll find yourself eventually losing yourself and wondering how it happened. It happens in small, incremental changes you make in yourself to make others comfortable. You likely won’t realize it’s happening until you’ve forgotten even the basics of what you like to do for fun, and who you are at your core.
3. Stop doing things that stress you out, like really stress you out. If you’re in a relationship that adds more stress to your life than happiness, don’t feel bad about putting yourself first and leaving. You don’t have anything to prove to anyone by staying. Life is much too short to spend it with people who don’t light you up. Same goes with anything else in life.
4. Stop doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. It’s not only the definition of insanity, but it won’t get you into a different life that you’ve been imagining for yourself. If you want something different than what you currently have, you’ve got to be willing to move out of your comfort zone and do new things.
5. Start putting yourself first. Do things that make you happy, that bring you joy. What have you been putting off that you really want to do? What steps can you take towards doing it now? Start saying no to things you don’t want to do.
We can use our experiences to guide us in life or we can use them to feel like victims. The choice is ours. If you’re stressed, or sick, or not living your best life, it’s time to look at the areas of your life that are no longer working for you. The days of being a people-pleaser, peacekeeper, and martyr are over. The time has come for us all to realize our limitless potential to create a life of our dreams. Life is much too short to continue to wait for someone else’s permission to fully live! Give yourself the permission you need to go after your dreams like this is the only shot you’ve got!
I am passionate about working with people and encouraging them to follow their joy and passion towards living a life in alignment with their soul’s purpose (ie. living their best lives). Guiding others in this way and offering the confirmation that they need to follow their dreams lights me up like nothing else! Please follow me on Facebook and/or Instagram for more written content and impromptu FB Live videos. If my words resonate with you, please feel free to reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org to tell me about it! I love connecting with people!! Maybe you have a topic you’d love me to write about?
Photo excerpt from “Life Visioning” by Michael Bernard Beckwith
Thank you for reading along! If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it with others. Much love!
I have always LOVED to dance! It’s one of my absolute favorite things to do ever! I started off dancing more in my life in the Fall of 2017 when I decided to stop waiting for people who would be open to going and seeing live music with me. So, I just decided to start going solo. That began with short trips to Santa Cruz when I saw that a funk band would be playing. One of my best days over there was in early 2018 when I combined my first time surfing with a night out dancing (you can read about it HERE). When I was in my 20’s, I was never afraid to be the first one on the dance floor if I liked the music. Then along the way, because of the people I began to hang out with, I was made aware of the fact that there are people who will sit on the sidelines and make fun of the people dancing. It surprised me. So I became more shy about dancing. I could literally hear what was being said about the people dancing, and if I did dance, I worried that people were talking badly about me. In college, I went to an amazing school where I didn’t feel like I had to be any certain way. All bands that came to campus, all music being played were opportunities for ecstatic dance for me, because I danced however I felt the urge and truly danced like no one was watching. In that case, people weren’t watching, because they were also dancing however they wanted and were too busy having fun to focus on me. It was FANTASTIC! I think that’s where I learned to dance and be free in my skin. I am so grateful for that experience even more now that I realize that not everyone has experienced a truly safe space to freely express themselves.
I have been so blessed in the last few months to get to go dancing a lot, solo, with friends, and on a few dates even! It has given me so much joy! I’ve decided that I am going to make even more dancing a priority in 2019! I had started ecstatic dance in my town last Fall, and it was so much fun! People enjoyed having a place to go to dance however they felt moved to, away from people constantly invading their space, and free from spectators with cameras and snide remarks. When that project dissolved for reasons not in my control, I sought other ways to add more dancing to my life. I visited a yoga studio holding ecstatic dance and I began to seek out more live music again. I’m not too proud to say that I also dance a lot around my house, alone. But there is definitely a unique energy that comes from a crowd of people dancing to a band, or even a DJ that doesn’t compare to doing it alone at home. I get so energized by crowds of people coming together for the sole purpose of having fun and dancing. I have been a part of full dance floors of people, and I have been to shows where no one was dancing. In 2018 to present, in the times when the dance floor has been empty, I have thought back to the person I used to be who didn’t care what people thought of her when she was the first one on the dance floor, and in those moments, I have pushed myself out of my comfort zone and DANCED! You know what always happens when I do that? Other people eventually join me and start dancing too! It has been an especially fun challenge to force myself to be the first one dancing since I decided to stop drinking alcohol entirely last summer. Having a few drinks to build up ‘liquid courage’ and getting on the dance floor first is one thing, but doing it after only chugging water is quite another. Try it! I find that I sweat so much while dancing that even if I drink water all night, I still wake up feeling dehydrated!
One thing I’ve realized is that until recently, I hadn’t dated someone who liked to dance as much as me. Granted, my relationships have generally looked like this: start dating, stay together for years, and then break up or get divorced. I haven’t really done the “dating lots of people to figure out what I like” thing. I find someone I like, and I go with it. But wow, what a game changer it was to go out with someone who also loves to dance like no one is watching!! We ended up dancing for most of 5 or 6 hours of our first date, and I can guarantee you that no one around us would have ever guessed that we had only just met! I had a ridiculous amount of fun that I want to have more of in my life! Similar to the energy of dancing as part of a crowd, there’s an amazing energy created when two people dance their faces off and act goofy and carefree together for that many hours! I am so grateful for that connection and that time!
Last night, I went out solo to see my friend, Edward Hernandez, play ukulele with a friend of his. You can check him out HERE. The dance floor was completely clear without so much as a person standing on it for the entire show. I stood on the sidelines bobbing my head and tapping my hands and feet for most of it. A lot of the songs were on the slower side. Then, he got to his last song, and said that it was a dance song and invited people to come dance. No one moved a muscle. I thought about it, then I figured why the hell not?! So I pushed past my comfort zone (yes, even now after all of these times, I STILL have that nervousness that I have to ignore), and made my way to the dance floor. You know what happened? I had a lot of fun, and eventually some other people joined me. A DJ played after my friend, and I stayed to dance. I find that every time I get on the dance floor and do my thing in all of my joyful glory, other people want to join in. So even if you intend to dance alone, know that it won’t be long before someone or a whole group of people tries to join you.
If you find yourself staying inside your comfort zone, but not experiencing as much joy as you want to be, then I encourage you to ditch the comfort zone that is holding you prisoner in the camp of ‘I am worried about what other people will think of me’! When are you going to start living life on your terms?! When are you going to understand that this life is a fleeting gift meant to be LIVED?! How can I get you to believe that your purpose is the thing that brings you the most joy in life? Your purpose is not elusive, it’s your ability to prioritize your joy that prevents you from finding your purpose. Do the things that light you up more often, because they will connect you with your soul, and then you will be guided to new people, situations, and opportunities that will enrich your life in ways you’ve never dreamed. What will you be leaving your comfort zone for in 2019? What experiences are you hoping to attract into your life this year that are worth taking some leaps?
If you’d like some extra encouragement and support as you work to find or add more joy to your life, reach out to me at peacefuljellyfish@gmailcom for more information about a combination of Intuitive Reiki Healing and Joy Coaching! I am very passionate about helping others find more joy, peace, and happiness in their lives! It’s a big part of my soul’s purpose.
Please follow me on FB (/peacefuljellyfish) and IG (peaceful.jellyfish) for more insightful content and impromptu FB Live videos. I also have a YouTube Channel for you to check out!
Thank you for reading along! If you liked this post, please like and share it. Much love!
Listen to my friend, Edward Hernandez, covering “Dream On” by Aerosmith HERE