Trust Energy and Yourself

I realized at one point that most relationships I had gotten myself into were the result of the other person being into me, and me riding that wave. Next thing I knew, I was in a relationship that looking back, I sometimes don’t understand how it progressed so far, so rapidly. It can be so easy to get swept up by things and people outside of ourselves. The key is to cultivate an inner awareness and knowing that we learn to depend on. That way, we stay in our truth as we move through the world.

In my alignment with my own spirit, I am hyper aware of people’s energy. I can tell by a picture or a few messages from a person what kind of energy they’re bringing to the table. I’ve learned to trust people’s energy emphatically. It takes a lot of the guess work out of who I want to spend my time with, which then saves us all time. I no longer get myself into relationships with people based on their feelings for me. Instead, I pay attention to the energy between us.

As I’ve gotten better about staying true to myself and expressing myself more authentically, I have found that my energy is like a magnet. Often, people want to be around me. If I go on a date with someone, they always want more time with me. This isn’t an ego thing, it’s an energy thing. When people are living in their alignment, they understand that our energy is what is drawing us together. For people who aren’t yet aware of this invisible force, in my energy field, they’ll automatically think that we have a special connection unlike any other. But in alignment with my spirit, I am able to deeply connect with nearly everyone who crosses my path. I have long, interesting conversations frequently with a variety of people. I highly appreciate all of the connections I make with people. But I recognize that because most people aren’t living in alignment with their spirit, it’s up to me to be discerning about taking a relationship to the next level.

As humans, we can get so caught up in physical attraction, or the fact that someone is giving us positive attention that we can get ourselves into situations that aren’t always healthy for us. We’ve got to pay attention to how a person’s energy makes us feel. Are we excited when they text to hang out with us or do we find ourselves trying to come up with excuses to get out of it? Do we feel excitement and happiness or a sense of dread? We can also pay attention to feelings in our bodies when we say a person’s name. Do we feel light or heavy? Do we smile with happiness or feel a knot form in our stomach?

We are energetic beings living in an energetic world. We’ve all had the experience where a person’s looks, outward persona, and words were saying one thing, but their energy was giving off a completely different message. My old self bought into those things. If we want to go to the next level, we’ve got to place more importance on a person’s energy and how they make us feel rather than other outside things like their interest in us, their looks or financial stability. I have come to find that energy never lies, regardless of how smooth the person speaks. I even had the experience once where a person’s energy felt really off. I felt really uncomfortable about it, but couldn’t place my finger on why. A friend was insisting that I explain what the person was doing to make me feel that way, and all I could say was “nothing in particular, their energy isn’t matching their words.” Just after I had said those words, my friend was getting money out of an ATM, and I checked IG. The first thing in my feed read something like “if something feels off about a person or situation, it is. Trust your intuition. Energy doesn’t lie.” Messages from the universe don’t get more direct than that friends! It provided me with a little extra confirmation and I never hung out with that person again.

We’ve got to stop doubting ourselves, the energy we sense about situations and people, and the inspired ideas that are coming to us. We need to stop ignoring the signs and red flags. We never have to know or have proof beyond how something is making us feel. I don’t like the taste of coffee, and I’ve been told time and again how coffee is an acquired taste. People say how they didn’t like it at first, but now they love it. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just not how I’m choosing to live my life. Sure I’ll do it with vegetables, because I know they’re good for me. But I’m not trying to acquire a taste for coffee, or beer, or a connection with someone where I sense something off about their energy. It’s just not needed in this day and age. We don’t have to acquire a taste for relating with someone who’s presence does not add goodness to our lives. There are plenty of other things I enjoy drinking, and there are over 7 billion people in the world to connect with. There’s no need to latch onto and cling to situations or people that don’t make us feel good, because there is a plethora of situations and people who will better match our energy and intentions.

We just need to slow down and get really good about paying attention to how things make us feel. We then follow the good feelings and nudges from our spirit (our intuition). The more we learn to quiet our minds and listen to the whisper of our intuition, the stronger our intuition becomes. In doing so, we move beyond the conditioning from our past, and line ourselves up with the best that life has to offer.

Thank you for reading along, and to the_higher_self on IG for this post. Follow me on IG and FB for more inspirational content.

Sending you all so much love!

Jammie

Shift Your Focus

Image from the_higher_self on IG

We aren’t taught that what we focus on grows, but it’s true. We do ourselves a MAJOR disservice when we continually run worst case scenarios and negative thoughts through our heads. When we get stuck in that repetitive cycle and add complaining to it, we literally become a giant magnet for more of what we don’t want. It’s why people who live their lives this way feel a sort of knowing that life sucks so bad. The negative things that keep happening in their lives keep reinforcing they’re beliefs. And they always want to tell everyone about it. They think of every terrible aspect of their life constantly, and so they manifest more negative situations to think and complain about. Then they’ll respond like “see, I told you life is horrible! Look at xyz that just got added to my pile of shit.” Truth is, they’re powerful creators and they’re manifesting everything in their life.

I was with someone who thought their family was cursed. While their family had suffered big traumas, their belief that they all had bad luck did not help them at all. Not only were they giving their power away by believing that something out there was throwing them more things to complain about, but they were constantly providing more energy to the belief that life was never easy for them.

Knowing that where I focus my energy literally creates my life, I am selective about my thoughts. It started with an awareness that my thoughts about myself and life were why I was suffering. Sure, things in my life at the time weren’t going as I would have liked. I felt stuck in California away from my family and I had done everything in my power to try and change it. Now all that was left was to accept my situation. I remember getting so annoyed with a woman I was working with, a sort of life coach, when she told me that I was right where I was supposed to be, because I was there. At the time, I didn’t feel like I was supposed to be here. So I fought that belief she introduced to me. But you know what? Eventually I discovered that she was right. We are all right where we need to be doing what we need to do. I am one of many in my community doing the important work of raising consciousness. I meet people all the time who are befuddled as to why they felt so compelled to move here. But I welcome them and thank them for coming, because I know the bigger picture as to why they have come. I feel it to my core.

Of course hind sight is 20/20. We have all experienced that. Even for me, I’ve had the feeling of “really? I needed to be in that relationship for 10 years to learn that lesson?” But I’ve had to accept that yes, it took me 10 years to learn, and that’s exactly what I needed to be doing then. We sometimes think we’re supposed to be in other places doing other things with different people, but what has been reinforced for me time and again over the last year and a half is that we are always right where we need to be.

The last year hasn’t just been about creating a new business and pushing and hustling to have it succeed. It’s been about cultivating peace in the unknown. It’s been about finally having the time and freedom to heal long-held wounds. It’s been about learning to follow and trust my intuition wholeheartedly so that I am always guided to my next inspired step. If I had been swooped up and flown from quitting my RN job in the hospital and straight into the current work I am doing, I would have missed the even more important journey of becoming the person I needed to be in order to do the things I’m currently doing. EVERY experience we have has value, even if we don’t see it at the time, or hind sight tells us that we’re stupid because we didn’t see the red flags. Life isn’t happening to us, it’s happening for us, mostly for our growth and expansion. We are also balancing out energies from past lives, dealing with traumas passed down through our family lines, and creating life from beliefs we locked in about ourselves and/or life from traumas during childhood. We don’t know the why of everything and our human minds aren’t what we need to figure that out. Sometimes we just have to accept where we’re at, and if we’re not happy, then strive to make changes.

If I told you that YOU are the powerful creator of your reality, what would you like to do? Starting setting intentions for how you want to feel in your life day to day. What kind of day do you intend to have today? Realize you have the power to focus on what you want. If you’re not living a life you love, start paying attention to where your focus is going. Fighting against something is the same as fighting for it, so be careful to direct your energy away from the thing you want to change and on what you hope will replace it.

The first things I tell everyone I work with to start doing is to keep a gratitude journal. I’ve seen how it has shifted my train of thought and focus in my own life. Writing down new things that I am grateful for every day allows me to stay in appreciation mode and out of lack, negativity, and complaining mode. It especially helped me when I was struggling with my work in the hospital, because it lifted me up and reminded me of all of the amazing things in my life. We are each so blessed. Like me, you’ve probably been taking the device you’re using right now and the WiFi you have access to in order to read this post. Let me tell you, when you don’t have WiFi at home, you learn to appreciate it. There is much that many of us take for granted every single day. But instead of giving thanks for what we DO have, we get stuck in a negative cycle of complaining about and focusing on what we DON’T have. Break the cycle, change your life for the better. You are the only one responsible for your reality. The sooner you internalize that, the sooner you can flip your script, stop giving your power away, get out of victim mode and thrive.

If you’re noticing that you’re stuck in time and repeating the same patterns, behaviors, and experiencing chronic issues of any kind, the Holographic Kinetics sessions that I do can really stand to help you. Holographic Kinetics is based on Dreamtime Healing of the aboriginal people in Australia and offers powerful healing at the spirit level. During a session with me (or a practitioner near you), you’re able to trace an issue back to its original cause and change the dimension of time, so that it stops affecting your life negatively. My own sessions during training have changed my life. I realize now that they helped me become who I needed to be in this now moment. I’ve noticed huge shifts in how I feel about myself and life, and that has caused me to make different decisions that have completely affected my path. If you’re interested, email me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com. I’d love to hear from you!

Thank you for reading along! If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG or FB for more inspirational posts.

Sending you all so much love!

Jammie

Why I Meditate

I began meditating in 2015. By this time, I had been through my health scare, divorce, and had been working as a Registered Nurse in the hospital for over 2 years. I had heard about meditation for years before I actually took note and put it into practice. In 2015, I partook in a “Simple Shift” group hosted by my Homeopath and friend, Torey Ivanic, that was made up of a group of women who were ready to create big change in our lives by shifting in some, small way. The “simple shift” I chose to commit to during this group was meditation. I downloaded the app, Insight Timer, on my phone, which kept track of my progress. I started with 5 minutes a day. Honestly, I’d do 2 minutes some days, 5 minutes others. Then, just after the group ended, I hit a very stressful time in my life.

I was struggling and needed a way to turn off the spiral of thoughts whirring through my mind about the situation. So I began meditating often as a way to positively cope with the turmoil I was experiencing. As I would feel the anxiety well up in me, I’d set the timer on my phone and meditate. I based it around my life, so if I had 5 minutes to spare, I’d meditate for 5 minutes. If I had more time in that moment, I’d set the timer for 15 minutes. Each time I felt myself get overwhelmed with emotions, I’d meditate. When the hamsters in my head would start running in their wheels, I’d meditate. When I felt panic rush in and tighten my chest, I’d meditate. I remember sitting in the cemetery next to the bench that marks the spot where one of my best friends from high school is buried, and I found myself talking to him in the rain, crying, and meditating. I clung to meditation like a life raft. I meditated, because I didn’t know what else to do.

These moments spent in meditation worked as a reset button for my system. I was able to reset myself and breathe. In those days, I didn’t notice a big difference. But it acted as a break from my thoughts and emotions. The break is what snapped me out of my head. It got me through that time with a lot of sanity and clarity. By the end of this 2-week period, I was able to get a sense of a big picture purpose of what was happening. I spoke about it with words that did not feel from me, but more through me. I was then gifted with the most peace I had ever experienced in my entire life. It lasted a week, and during that time I felt so at ease with EVERYTHING in my life. I felt so much love and compassion for myself and everyone else. I realize now that that level of peace is available to all of us when we place priority on our healing and aligning ourselves with our souls.

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” – Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

I didn’t simply gain a week of peace during that time. I also gained the awareness that it was that level of peace that I wanted to feel in my life, all the time. It gave me a contrast to compare everything against. To this day, when a person or situation is causing me to lose my inner peace, I make the needed adjustments, because for me, my inner peace comes FIRST.

This was all just the beginning for me. Last year, after I had taken my leap of faith out of my Registered Nursing job in the hospital when it began affecting my health negatively, and had gotten back from traveling to Australia and Hawaii, I got more serious about meditating again. I was in a time where I was ready to go full force with my business, but I also had to trust that the people who needed the Intuitive Reiki and Joy Coaching with me would come in divine time. I set the intention and began meditating every morning for 25 minutes while also treating myself with Reiki. This consistent practice completely changed my game. I began to have and continue to have so many inspired ideas that led to inspired action that led to so many good things in my life. For instance, it became an important aim of mine to be part of a thriving community of healers and artists, and then I got the idea to create a “Healing Arts” basket for a raffle for the Center of Spiritual Living for their annual fundraiser, which naturally connected me with local healers and artists. There was also the inspired ideas of participating in the fundraiser “Over the Edge” for The Source LGBT+ Center’s annual fundraiser and offering free Reiki sessions every week at The Source which led to me being more connected to the LGBT+ community here which has led me to amazing friendships and more of my tribe! Reaching out to the amazing author, Scott Stabile, about how much I loved his book and would like to have him come to my town to host a workshop was also an inspired idea that I took action on, and it all lined up so effortlessly after that! Scott hosted one of his workshops, “Writing Yourself” here in January!

There’s a reason why so many people urge us to meditate. It works. Deepak Chopra has written MANY books, and you want to know his biggest piece of advice for people? Meditate! I know what you’re thinking, you can’t meditate. You can’t get your brain to slow down long enough to meditate. You don’t have time to meditate. I can assure you that if you had time to read this post about meditating that you have time to meditate. You’re just choosing to use your time in other ways. My life has been a bit of a surrender experiment in the last year. Things I couldn’t have planned for have shown up. Awesome things have shown up. I would say that I owe a lot of that, if not all, to meditation. Meditation has allowed me to align with my soul, my higher self, in a more powerful way than ever before. Following my intuition about everything in my life, right down to what I eat, has further strengthened my intuition, which is also what leads to amazing things. I am so happy to say that I will be teaching kids mindfulness and meditation this summer through Parks and Recreation. I am so excited to share the exercises I’ve used to help teach kids positive ways to cope with life. It is my vision that by teaching kids positive coping mechanisms, they will be able to use them throughout their lives to combat peer pressure, to decrease the rates of teen pregnancy, to decrease addiction, and to decrease the rates of suicide. I love working with kids so much, and pediatrics continues to be the unit of the hospital that I miss working on the most, so I am really looking forward to this new adventure!

I can’t tell you how many times I have been called magic in the last year, the last 8 months especially. I look for magic, I expect magic daily, because I’ve witnessed magic every day. I am aligned with my soul, my higher self. I am following my soul’s path completely which places all kinds of amazing synchronicities on my path. I am human like you, and I got here by trudging through a lot of shit. I did not get here through ease and comfort. I walked through fire to ultimately have my soul set free. When I noticed that my thoughts about myself and my life weren’t serving me well, I worked to adopt new thoughts. I’ve listen to meditations to reprogram my subconscious mind. I’ve followed my intuition to the healing modalities that called to me and the foods that my body was craving. I used journaling. I used positive affirmations. I have a daily gratitude practice. I didn’t grow up knowing about positive ways to cope with life, so I sought them when I needed them. Instead of stressing and ‘grinding’, I learned the importance of quieting my mind through meditation and time spent in nature.

Through the journey I have walked, I have been gifted with the knowledge that our health is our greatest asset, that living in joy is what we are here to do, and that inner peace is the real ‘success’ that we should be working to achieve in this life. I did not come from peace, but I now have more peace than I ever have before. I got tired of suffering. I got tired of playing a victim, so I got serious about finding a way to change my view of the world. I adjusted my priorities. I choose to place my focus on my peace and happiness every day, because I see now how that ripples out from my life into other people’s lives. I choose to prioritize doing things that raise my energy and cause me to vibrate at a higher frequency. When we learn to love ourselves unconditionally, we are able to love others unconditionally. Also in my experience, when I learned to love another unconditionally as I saw their life with empathy and compassion, I loved myself even deeper in return.

Many of the practices I have had great results with are simple and available to anyone who decides to place priority on their own healing. If you struggle to quiet your mind or lead a very stressful life, I urge you to take up daily meditation. It can be as simple as setting a timer for 5 minutes and sitting in a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted while you focus on your breath. You might feel resistance to it, I think that’s pretty common. It was for me. But just keep being consistent with it, and eventually, you’ll notice shifts. I lead guided meditations every first and third Wednesday of every month, so if you’re local, reach out to me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com. We have meditation happening tonight on the Super Full Moon from 6 to 7 pm. Everyone is welcome.

Meditation is a simple shift we can all make towards our wellness. It’s free. It’s easy. We can do it alone or with a group. We can meditate inside or outside. If you’re finding yourself not satisfied with the way your life has been going, try meditating. What do you have to lose?

Thank you for reading! If you liked this post, please like and share it. You can also find me on FB and IG. Sending you so much love!

Are You Giving Your Power Away?

“Life is much too short to continue to wait for someone else’s permission to fully live.”

Often we don’t realize we’re doing it, waiting for permission that is, but many of us are. Who are you giving your power away to?

Your parents? The ones who think that you should follow the status quo, because even after their divorce and decision to not date, they still believe that ultimate happiness for everyone lies in the house, the fence, the marriage, and the kids? When are you going to realize that you don’t have to live up to your parents’ expectations of you in order to be a fully whole and worthy human being? If your parents shoot down every idea you present to them that lights you up, stop telling them your plans. Stop asking for their opinions. Your journey is yours alone, and sometimes even your parents won’t understand you. And that’s OK.

Your kids? Maybe you’re a parent and you have Mom guilt about taking a trip alone. I know I did before I left for Western Australia in June of ‘18. Even though my son had balked at the idea of such a long flight, I still felt bad that he wasn’t going with me. But, at one point, I realized that it wasn’t right to put the burden of not following my life-long dream on my son’s shoulders. I think we wrongly do that a lot. We categorize ourselves as parents and then feel bad for anything we do outside of that role without our kids. We’re essentially feeding into the notion that our joy and self-care stops being important once our kids are born. But, if I have learned anything at all, it’s that I am a much better Mom when I have been consciously keeping my own bucket full. Our kids will be much better off if they have parents who take good care of themselves body, mind, and spirit. Our kids learn by what they see us do, not from our words, so in taking care of ourselves, we’re showing them how to take care of themselves. It’s not selfish, it’s vitally important.

Your partner? Perhaps they don’t like to do the things you want to do, and so you’ve just given up and decided that it’s easier if you just don’t do them. If you’re living that way, it’s only a matter of time before you lose yourself completely. It’s depressing to live a life in which you’re not following your joy. If your partner loves you unconditionally, then they will understand that it’s important for you to do things regularly that bring you joy. Maybe that’s not it, but you’ve been miserable for a long time and you’ve tried counseling and nothing is working. Your partner hasn’t made any effort towards making the partnership better, but then tells you they don’t want it to end. Know that you do not need their permission to leave. Know that any outsider who judges you for your feelings about your relationship has no business doing so, because they’re not in it. They can’t understand your experience, and they can’t see the dreams you hold for your life. It’s OK to let go. You don’t need anyone else’s permission but your own. I had friends offer their two cents as I was deciding on what to do about my own marriage. All it did was add to my guilt for feeling the things I felt. I stopped talking about it with other people, and ultimately made the decision that was best for me and my family. Side note: if you’re reading books titled things like “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”, it’s really time to leave. If it’s not a hell yes, then it’s a no. That goes for any decision in life.

Even when advice comes with good intentions, no one outside of us should hold power over us when it comes to living our best lives. Our journey is unique to us, and we’ve got to stop trying to get others to understand it before we feel comfortable enough in making decisions. We have one life to live. Make it count.

Want to work with me one on one? Check out the Work With Me tab and see if the combination of Intuitive Reiki Healing and Joy Coaching resonates with you. Feel free to email me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com. I love to hear from people!

Please follow me on FB (/peacefuljellyfish) and IG (peaceful.jellyfish) for more written content and impromptu FB Live Videos. I also have a Peaceful Jellyfish YouTube Channel you can check out.

If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Much love!

Art for Sale!

Five of my drawings are now available as high-quality prints on 5 x 7 folded blank greeting cards with envelopes. The locally owned, family operated business I had print them did a great job. These cards really capture the details of my artwork! I always infuse my original artwork with healing Reiki energy that people have said they could feel. I also infuse these cards with healing Reiki.

They’re printed with the picture on the front and my website: http://www.peacefuljellyfish.com on the back. You can message me or email me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com if you’re interested in purchasing them. They’re $5 each.

Original 8 x 10 canvases and canvas panels (excluding the desert tortoise I drew for my son) are also available for purchase.

If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it! Follow me on FB (peacefuljellyfish) and Instagram (peaceful.jellyfish) for more content and Live Videos. Much love!

The Pain Before the Transformation

I am living proof that great pain can lead to massive transformation.

I spent much of my life as a peacekeeper and people-pleaser. I put the peace of a space and others’ well-being above my own. I became a sort of chameleon, changing in small ways to try and reduce tension in my house growing up, and later as a way to keep other people comfortable. I had an innate sense that if everyone around me was OK, that I would then be OK too. But I wasn’t OK. With each concession I made to create less waves, I moved farther and farther away from my true self. I didn’t notice it at first and couldn’t have predicted the level of depression and dis-ease that changing myself for others would cause someday.

When I found myself in a loveless marriage where I was lonelier than I have ever felt in times where I have actually been alone, I ignored what my heart was telling me. I had been so adamant about creating a family for my son, to be a happy, intact family that I hadn’t experienced, that to follow my heart meant to leave that dream behind for all of us. So, I ignored that knowing sense that I felt. I buried myself in raising my son. But it could not last forever. Eventually, my heart grew weak and nearly stopped working and I found myself at rock bottom. In one fell swoop, my health was taken from me, and I nearly died of heart failure. An emergent heart surgery later and I slowly began to find my way back to myself.

The recovery felt fast at first, until it became apparent that my heart condition was going to be a recurring theme in my life. Doctors had trouble figuring it out, and so they did what they could to ward it off with a steroid bandaid in the form of prednisone pills.

There are lots of parts to this story, but the take away is much more important at this point, for me and for you.

1. Stop putting yourself second to the wishes of others. Humans are fickle beings, and won’t stay happy for long before you’re feeling the need to do more to feed their happiness. You don’t have the ability to make anyone else happy if they themselves haven’t found a way to cultivate happiness in their own life. We can add to another’s happiness, but we are not responsible for creating it.

2. Stop changing yourself to fit in with the people around you. In the end, you’ll feel like a shell of yourself, plus you’ll soon realize that they’re not your people anyway. Who wants to hang out with people who don’t love you for being 100% yourself? The chameleon game is an exhausting one. You’ll find yourself eventually losing yourself and wondering how it happened. It happens in small, incremental changes you make in yourself to make others comfortable. You likely won’t realize it’s happening until you’ve forgotten even the basics of what you like to do for fun, and who you are at your core.

3. Stop doing things that stress you out, like really stress you out. If you’re in a relationship that adds more stress to your life than happiness, don’t feel bad about putting yourself first and leaving. You don’t have anything to prove to anyone by staying. Life is much too short to spend it with people who don’t light you up. Same goes with anything else in life.

4. Stop doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. It’s not only the definition of insanity, but it won’t get you into a different life that you’ve been imagining for yourself. If you want something different than what you currently have, you’ve got to be willing to move out of your comfort zone and do new things.

5. Start putting yourself first. Do things that make you happy, that bring you joy. What have you been putting off that you really want to do? What steps can you take towards doing it now? Start saying no to things you don’t want to do.

We can use our experiences to guide us in life or we can use them to feel like victims. The choice is ours. If you’re stressed, or sick, or not living your best life, it’s time to look at the areas of your life that are no longer working for you. The days of being a people-pleaser, peacekeeper, and martyr are over. The time has come for us all to realize our limitless potential to create a life of our dreams. Life is much too short to continue to wait for someone else’s permission to fully live! Give yourself the permission you need to go after your dreams like this is the only shot you’ve got!

I am passionate about using a mix of intuitive Reiki Healing and Joy Coaching to encourage others to follow their joy and passion towards living a life in alignment with their soul’s purpose (ie. living their best lives). Guiding others in this way and offering the confirmation that they need to follow their dreams lights me up like nothing else! Please follow me on Facebook and/or Instagram for more written content and impromptu FB Live videos. If my words resonate with you, please feel free to reach out to me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com to tell me about it! I love connecting with people!! Maybe you have a topic you’d love me to write about?

Photo excerpt from “Life Visioning” by Michael Bernard Beckwith

Thank you for reading along! If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it with others. Much love!

Dance Like No One is Watching!

Edward Hernandez

I have always LOVED to dance! It’s one of my absolute favorite things to do ever! I started off dancing more in my life in the Fall of 2017 when I decided to stop waiting for people who would be open to going and seeing live music with me. So, I just decided to start going solo. That began with short trips to Santa Cruz when I saw that a funk band would be playing. One of my best days over there was in early 2018 when I combined my first time surfing with a night out dancing (you can read about it HERE). When I was in my 20’s, I was never afraid to be the first one on the dance floor if I liked the music. Then along the way, because of the people I began to hang out with, I was made aware of the fact that there are people who will sit on the sidelines and make fun of the people dancing. It surprised me. So I became more shy about dancing. I could literally hear what was being said about the people dancing, and if I did dance, I worried that people were talking badly about me. In college, I went to an amazing school where I didn’t feel like I had to be any certain way. All bands that came to campus, all music being played were opportunities for ecstatic dance for me, because I danced however I felt the urge and truly danced like no one was watching. In that case, people weren’t watching, because they were also dancing however they wanted and were too busy having fun to focus on me. It was FANTASTIC! I think that’s where I learned to dance and be free in my skin. I am so grateful for that experience even more now that I realize that not everyone has experienced a truly safe space to freely express themselves.

I have been so blessed in the last few months to get to go dancing a lot, solo, with friends, and on a few dates even! It has given me so much joy! I’ve decided that I am going to make even more dancing a priority in 2019! I had started ecstatic dance in my town last Fall, and it was so much fun! People enjoyed having a place to go to dance however they felt moved to, away from people constantly invading their space, and free from spectators with cameras and snide remarks. When that project dissolved for reasons not in my control, I sought other ways to add more dancing to my life. I visited a yoga studio holding ecstatic dance and I began to seek out more live music again. I’m not too proud to say that I also dance a lot around my house, alone. But there is definitely a unique energy that comes from a crowd of people dancing to a band, or even a DJ that doesn’t compare to doing it alone at home. I get so energized by crowds of people coming together for the sole purpose of having fun and dancing. I have been a part of full dance floors of people, and I have been to shows where no one was dancing. In 2018 to present, in the times when the dance floor has been empty, I have thought back to the person I used to be who didn’t care what people thought of her when she was the first one on the dance floor, and in those moments, I have pushed myself out of my comfort zone and DANCED! You know what always happens when I do that? Other people eventually join me and start dancing too! It has been an especially fun challenge to force myself to be the first one dancing since I decided to stop drinking alcohol entirely last summer. Having a few drinks to build up ‘liquid courage’ and getting on the dance floor first is one thing, but doing it after only chugging water is quite another. Try it! I find that I sweat so much while dancing that even if I drink water all night, I still wake up feeling dehydrated!

One thing I’ve realized is that until recently, I hadn’t dated someone who liked to dance as much as me. Granted, my relationships have generally looked like this: start dating, stay together for years, and then break up or get divorced. I haven’t really done the “dating lots of people to figure out what I like” thing. I find someone I like, and I go with it. But wow, what a game changer it was to go out with someone who also loves to dance like no one is watching!! We ended up dancing for most of 5 or 6 hours of our first date, and I can guarantee you that no one around us would have ever guessed that we had only just met! I had a ridiculous amount of fun that I want to have more of in my life! Similar to the energy of dancing as part of a crowd, there’s an amazing energy created when two people dance their faces off and act goofy and carefree together for that many hours! I am so grateful for that connection and that time!

Last night, I went out solo to see my friend, Edward Hernandez, play ukulele with a friend of his. You can check him out HERE. The dance floor was completely clear without so much as a person standing on it for the entire show. I stood on the sidelines bobbing my head and tapping my hands and feet for most of it. A lot of the songs were on the slower side. Then, he got to his last song, and said that it was a dance song and invited people to come dance. No one moved a muscle. I thought about it, then I figured why the hell not?! So I pushed past my comfort zone (yes, even now after all of these times, I STILL have that nervousness that I have to ignore), and made my way to the dance floor. You know what happened? I had a lot of fun, and eventually some other people joined me. A DJ played after my friend, and I stayed to dance. I find that every time I get on the dance floor and do my thing in all of my joyful glory, other people want to join in. So even if you intend to dance alone, know that it won’t be long before someone or a whole group of people tries to join you.

If you find yourself staying inside your comfort zone, but not experiencing as much joy as you want to be, then I encourage you to ditch the comfort zone that is holding you prisoner in the camp of ‘I am worried about what other people will think of me’! When are you going to start living life on your terms?! When are you going to understand that this life is a fleeting gift meant to be LIVED?! How can I get you to believe that your purpose is the thing that brings you the most joy in life? Your purpose is not elusive, it’s your ability to prioritize your joy that prevents you from finding your purpose. Do the things that light you up more often, because they will connect you with your soul, and then you will be guided to new people, situations, and opportunities that will enrich your life in ways you’ve never dreamed. What will you be leaving your comfort zone for in 2019? What experiences are you hoping to attract into your life this year that are worth taking some leaps?

If you’d like some extra encouragement and support as you work to find or add more joy to your life, reach out to me at peacefuljellyfish@gmailcom for more information about a combination of Intuitive Reiki Healing and Joy Coaching! I am very passionate about helping others find more joy, peace, and happiness in their lives! It’s a big part of my soul’s purpose.

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Listen to my friend, Edward Hernandez, covering “Dream On” by Aerosmith HERE