Autism: A Spiritual Perspective

My spirit has some ideas about autism that aren’t what you usually hear. What I am about to say didn’t come from a book I’ve read, or a movie I’ve watched. It comes from a core sense of knowing that I have about autism. I had a flow of words come out of me the other day as I was talking with the Mom of John, an autistic, nonverbal 19 year old, high school graduate that I began working with in October.

Autism isn’t a disability. Autism isn’t something that needs “fixed”. Autism doesn’t mean that there is something “wrong” with a person. No, quite the opposite. I believe that autism is a form of human evolution. Why? It breaks us free from the way that we have been programmed to live. It breaks us free from caring what other people think about us. It breaks us free from so many societal “norms” we’ve felt compelled to follow.

The system wants to ignore autism. Schools want to group them into a box of being mentally retarded. Because kids with autism usually need some extra help in school, schools want to place them in a class for special education, but it’s usually not clear cut like that. John was always highly intelligent, but because he was non-verbal, teachers and tests weren’t able to detect it. Luckily, his Mom knew better, and he was able to go on to graduate from a normal high school program.

The system doesn’t know how to handle autism, because people with autism can’t and won’t be fit into neat boxes. They don’t follow any of the set rules and guidelines that we’re taught to follow. Society judges them against people without autism, which is a bit like judging apples against oranges. Yes they’re human, and fruit is fruit, but beyond that, they are each uniquely themselves as we all are. The reality is that none of us should be fitting into boxes, but we get highly pressured to. Most of us succumb to the pressure around us. It’s usually only after we get sick of suffering that we break away from those chains of conformity. Heck, the system flows so smoothly and the powers that be don’t have to lift a finger, because people police each other and make it very uncomfortable for someone to speak up against the crowd, against the program.

People with autism truly march to the beat of their own drum without regard for what other people think of them, and how other people want them to be. They don’t have the same sense to conform in order to keep other people comfortable. They are just unapologetically themselves. We can learn a LOT from them. We are here to be fully ourselves, NOT to fit in with the crowd, not to just be mindless, unquestioning workers slogging along to support the system, our government, and the wealthiest 1%.

A friend of mine from high school has a son who is exactly a month younger than my own. He could read when he was 2 years old. Being that we were both first-time parents, neither of us had a gauge for knowing what was typical behavior at the various ages. But I remember talking with my friend in those days, and explaining where my own son was with his speech and inability to know what sounds letters made, let alone read. I remember telling him that the things his son was doing weren’t “normal” for his age. He was a freaking genius! As he grew, they began to suspect that he may be on the autism spectrum. Tests later confirmed their suspicions. He is highly functioning and extremely intelligent. He actually skipped a grade of elementary school, because of how far ahead he is intellectually.

Generally, when I knew him, my friend was most concerned about his son’s ability to socialize with other kids. He generally didn’t go along with how most kids were expected to be around other people. He wanted what he wanted when he wanted it, and was comfortable voicing it. He wanted the toy he wanted to play with when he wanted it, so he’d take it. He didn’t coalesce. He didn’t easily give in. He didn’t care to sacrifice his own wants and needs to make someone else feel better or to make them comfortable. My fellow recovering people-pleasers, do you see now what I mean by evolution? My friend’s son is an awesome and loving child. The fact that he is considered to be “on the spectrum” is not limiting his capacity to be amazing, especially with a Dad who so lovingly supports and encourages him to be fully himself.

A person with autism is not of this program. In fact, they come into this life already out of the program. In that way, autism is a spiritual evolution. I believe that everything in this life is spiritual, because we are spirits having a human experience. The big picture is that rather than coming in and living yet another life governed by voices of others and the outside world, people with autism bypass it by not having the same experience as the rest of us. They come in tuned out of society and it’s established structures. And what a freeing experience! I believe that it frees their minds in a way that allows them to advance to being much more sensitive to energy, to making decisions based on the energy they pick up on, and to put themselves and their needs first (read: empaths born with boundaries and self-care techniques!).

Everything is made of energy. A person with autism is so in tune with the energy around them that they aren’t going to ignore the energy they pick up from a person and pretend that everything is OK. No, they’re going to refuse to interact with them. John’s Mom told me that when John was younger, she was having him say hi to someone and he wouldn’t do it. He then asked her (through facilitated communication using a program on his iPad) why it was so important to her that he say hi to someone he didn’t know. It made her pause and think differently about the situation. How often do we expect things like that from children? Why? How much of what we do is based on what our parents deemed as important? Do we want to live as the people who came before us, or do we want to be free and do what is right for us and our children?

If kids with autism feel like they need to release built up energy in their bodies, they’re going to move and shake regardless of who is around or what is happening. In contrast, it has taken me many years to get comfortable with lying on the grass in front of a friend to ground my energy, because I felt that’s what I needed to do in that moment. Some adults wouldn’t dare do something like that for fear of what another person might think! Kids with autism don’t care what people think. They just know that their body wants them to move, or lie down, or rock back and forth, so they do it. To the rest of us, their movements or outbursts of sound may seem inappropriate or out of place, depending their location and what is going on in that moment. But, they are just experiencing the full range of life in the present moment. Why do we force ourselves and our children to sit at desks for hours on end, when we are dynamic energetic beings who need to move? Why do we expect young kids to be quiet and still for such long periods of time? Why is that deemed as so important? Haven’t we learned yet that change is the only constant and that we don’t have to keep doing things the same way just because that’s how they’ve always been done? Hasn’t enough research shown that free play is much more important to a child’s cognitive development than being forced to sit still and quiet, indoors for long periods of time?? I could argue that school is the beginning of our disconnection with nature. Trained to sit inside all day at a desk, some people never break away from that lifestyle.

When people with autism feel emotions, they don’t save them up to emote later when other people aren’t around, instead they feel it in the moment and move on. They wouldn’t understand to save up those emotions or movements to release/act on ‘later’. Why would they do that? Why do we do that? When you really stop to think about it, a lot of the ways we’ve been taught how to be don’t make much sense. Am I right? From my perspective, adulting has been about learning how to feel emotions as they arise vs stuffing them down and having them surface at an inopportune time. Seriously, I’ve spent so many hours dealing with healing the trapped emotions I refused to feel for years. Imagine not ever doing that, from the time you were a baby! Believe me, that ability (and subsequent freedom from healing later) alone makes for a GIANT leap up a person’s path of ascension! Not being able to be programmed means that they don’t have to do the work like I did to deprogram and then reprogram myself. Talk about saving time!

It has taken me up to now to really get to a point where I am tuning out the outside voices and what society expects of me, and following my spirit wholeheartedly. This means that I follow my intuition about everything. I do my best to release myself from how I think I ‘should’ be or what I think I ‘should’ do, and do instead what my body and spirit are asking of me. This means that I eat when I am hungry. I sleep when I am tired. (Work in progress, because I love the peacefulness created when most people are sleeping.) I eat what I intuitively am called to eat. I pay attention to the energy of people and situations and distance myself from anything that doesn’t feel good or in energetic alignment with me. I put the energy I sense as the most important thing when I am making decisions in my life. I listen to a person’s energy above what they are saying. People lie a lot. I can sense it. Since taking my leap of faith and putting myself first, and setting the intention to strengthen my intuition, my ability to tap into the energy and intentions behind a person’s words is through the roof! You can tell me the prettiest, most supportive words, but if I feel an incongruence with the energy behind them, I will listen to your energy one billion percent of the time. I am including this here, because people with autism are even more sensitive than I am to this energy. (Which blows my mind from where I’m standing!)

We are energetic beings. We can use our sensing to help us. People with autism do this naturally. What I have learned is that when we follow our joy and intuition and show up as our fully authentic selves, we align with our spirit. Since my own alignment with spirit (which takes a never ending commitment to showing up fully and following my intuition about everything), I have found that I am protected and that I am able to manifest things very quickly and easily. As I have flexed my intuition like a muscle, it has grown stronger. It’s no longer a whisper I hear, but a very obvious knowing that I’ve learned to trust emphatically. This means that all of my psychic abilities have also increased, including telepathy, claircognazance (clear knowing), and clairsentience (clear sensing). I know at least one example where someone with autism is highly telepathic and knows what their parent is thinking and talking to people about even when they are no where around them. I am positive that across the board, many people with autism share these abilities that are rarely talked about or acknowledged.

The program depends on us not realizing our own innate abilities and powers. It’s the only way that it’s able to keep us small and breaking our backs for the wealth and power of the elite. People with autism may or may not be aware of their power and abilities, but they are evolving the human race just the same. As we are all part of a collective consciousness, the alignment of one person has an impact on the whole. The strengthening of one person’s psychic abilities due to alignment also positively benefits the whole. One person’s vulnerability to show up as fully themselves gives everyone else permission to do the same. People with autism who put themselves and their needs first are leading us by example. Only misalignment and dis-ease are to be expected when we walk around people-pleasing and peace-keeping while we put everyone else and their needs before our own. The world doesn’t need martyrs, it needs people standing fully in their power who love themselves enough to put their own health, happiness, well-being, and alignment ahead of everything else in their lives. Trust me, people who do this and give from an overflowing cup are the ones who change the world.

We are all here to learn lessons and expand consciousness. I believe that we plan a lot of our trials prior to our birth. Because we don’t know another person’s spiritual path, we should not judge it. I don’t think it’s sad that some people have autism. I think it’s sad that they’re not generally viewed as the way showers that they are! Instead of trying to force them to conform to the way things have always been done, I think it’s time that we value their ability to shake up a system that’s broken. Think also of all of the parents who are being forced to step into their own power and truth by speaking up for their autistic children! The more people who are comfortable speaking up and stepping up in this world when change is needed, the better. Autism is just one avenue for this kind of action. I’m telling you, autism isn’t just about the spiritual evolution of the affected individuals, but it also works to transform their parents, teachers, schools, government, and the world.

We’ve got to stop trying to label people and fit them into boxes of limitation. Just as we have been told to not judge a book by its cover, we need to stop judging each other by our rented meat suits. None of us belong in boxes. We were born the way we are meant to be. Perspective is EVERYTHING! Shift your perspective to see the grander picture. Our first, human reaction to things tends to be sadness or anger, but what if instead we got more curious and open-minded? Autism is a game-changer and self-loving humans who place their alignment with spirit and the well-being of their mind, body, and spirit as their first priority are changing the world.

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Trust Energy and Yourself

I realized at one point that most relationships I had gotten myself into were the result of the other person being into me, and me riding that wave. Next thing I knew, I was in a relationship that looking back, I sometimes don’t understand how it progressed so far, so rapidly. It can be so easy to get swept up by things and people outside of ourselves. The key is to cultivate an inner awareness and knowing that we learn to depend on. That way, we stay in our truth as we move through the world.

In my alignment with my own spirit, I am hyper aware of people’s energy. I can tell by a picture or a few messages from a person what kind of energy they’re bringing to the table. I’ve learned to trust people’s energy emphatically. It takes a lot of the guess work out of who I want to spend my time with, which then saves us all time. I no longer get myself into relationships with people based on their feelings for me. Instead, I pay attention to the energy between us.

As I’ve gotten better about staying true to myself and expressing myself more authentically, I have found that my energy is like a magnet. Often, people want to be around me. If I go on a date with someone, they always want more time with me. This isn’t an ego thing, it’s an energy thing. When people are living in their alignment, they understand that our energy is what is drawing us together. For people who aren’t yet aware of this invisible force, in my energy field, they’ll automatically think that we have a special connection unlike any other. But in alignment with my spirit, I am able to deeply connect with nearly everyone who crosses my path. I have long, interesting conversations frequently with a variety of people. I highly appreciate all of the connections I make with people. But I recognize that because most people aren’t living in alignment with their spirit, it’s up to me to be discerning about taking a relationship to the next level.

As humans, we can get so caught up in physical attraction, or the fact that someone is giving us positive attention that we can get ourselves into situations that aren’t always healthy for us. We’ve got to pay attention to how a person’s energy makes us feel. Are we excited when they text to hang out with us or do we find ourselves trying to come up with excuses to get out of it? Do we feel excitement and happiness or a sense of dread? We can also pay attention to feelings in our bodies when we say a person’s name. Do we feel light or heavy? Do we smile with happiness or feel a knot form in our stomach?

We are energetic beings living in an energetic world. We’ve all had the experience where a person’s looks, outward persona, and words were saying one thing, but their energy was giving off a completely different message. My old self bought into those things. If we want to go to the next level, we’ve got to place more importance on a person’s energy and how they make us feel rather than other outside things like their interest in us, their looks or financial stability. I have come to find that energy never lies, regardless of how smooth the person speaks. I even had the experience once where a person’s energy felt really off. I felt really uncomfortable about it, but couldn’t place my finger on why. A friend was insisting that I explain what the person was doing to make me feel that way, and all I could say was “nothing in particular, their energy isn’t matching their words.” Just after I had said those words, my friend was getting money out of an ATM, and I checked IG. The first thing in my feed read something like “if something feels off about a person or situation, it is. Trust your intuition. Energy doesn’t lie.” Messages from the universe don’t get more direct than that friends! It provided me with a little extra confirmation and I never hung out with that person again.

We’ve got to stop doubting ourselves, the energy we sense about situations and people, and the inspired ideas that are coming to us. We need to stop ignoring the signs and red flags. We never have to know or have proof beyond how something is making us feel. I don’t like the taste of coffee, and I’ve been told time and again how coffee is an acquired taste. People say how they didn’t like it at first, but now they love it. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just not how I’m choosing to live my life. Sure I’ll do it with vegetables, because I know they’re good for me. But I’m not trying to acquire a taste for coffee, or beer, or a connection with someone where I sense something off about their energy. It’s just not needed in this day and age. We don’t have to acquire a taste for relating with someone who’s presence does not add goodness to our lives. There are plenty of other things I enjoy drinking, and there are over 7 billion people in the world to connect with. There’s no need to latch onto and cling to situations or people that don’t make us feel good, because there is a plethora of situations and people who will better match our energy and intentions.

We just need to slow down and get really good about paying attention to how things make us feel. We then follow the good feelings and nudges from our spirit (our intuition). The more we learn to quiet our minds and listen to the whisper of our intuition, the stronger our intuition becomes. In doing so, we move beyond the conditioning from our past, and line ourselves up with the best that life has to offer.

Thank you for reading along, and to the_higher_self on IG for this post. Follow me on IG and FB for more inspirational content.

Sending you all so much love!

Jammie

Shift Your Focus

Image from the_higher_self on IG

We aren’t taught that what we focus on grows, but it’s true. We do ourselves a MAJOR disservice when we continually run worst case scenarios and negative thoughts through our heads. When we get stuck in that repetitive cycle and add complaining to it, we literally become a giant magnet for more of what we don’t want. It’s why people who live their lives this way feel a sort of knowing that life sucks so bad. The negative things that keep happening in their lives keep reinforcing they’re beliefs. And they always want to tell everyone about it. They think of every terrible aspect of their life constantly, and so they manifest more negative situations to think and complain about. Then they’ll respond like “see, I told you life is horrible! Look at xyz that just got added to my pile of shit.” Truth is, they’re powerful creators and they’re manifesting everything in their life.

I was with someone who thought their family was cursed. While their family had suffered big traumas, their belief that they all had bad luck did not help them at all. Not only were they giving their power away by believing that something out there was throwing them more things to complain about, but they were constantly providing more energy to the belief that life was never easy for them.

Knowing that where I focus my energy literally creates my life, I am selective about my thoughts. It started with an awareness that my thoughts about myself and life were why I was suffering. Sure, things in my life at the time weren’t going as I would have liked. I felt stuck in California away from my family and I had done everything in my power to try and change it. Now all that was left was to accept my situation. I remember getting so annoyed with a woman I was working with, a sort of life coach, when she told me that I was right where I was supposed to be, because I was there. At the time, I didn’t feel like I was supposed to be here. So I fought that belief she introduced to me. But you know what? Eventually I discovered that she was right. We are all right where we need to be doing what we need to do. I am one of many in my community doing the important work of raising consciousness. I meet people all the time who are befuddled as to why they felt so compelled to move here. But I welcome them and thank them for coming, because I know the bigger picture as to why they have come. I feel it to my core.

Of course hind sight is 20/20. We have all experienced that. Even for me, I’ve had the feeling of “really? I needed to be in that relationship for 10 years to learn that lesson?” But I’ve had to accept that yes, it took me 10 years to learn, and that’s exactly what I needed to be doing then. We sometimes think we’re supposed to be in other places doing other things with different people, but what has been reinforced for me time and again over the last year and a half is that we are always right where we need to be.

The last year hasn’t just been about creating a new business and pushing and hustling to have it succeed. It’s been about cultivating peace in the unknown. It’s been about finally having the time and freedom to heal long-held wounds. It’s been about learning to follow and trust my intuition wholeheartedly so that I am always guided to my next inspired step. If I had been swooped up and flown from quitting my RN job in the hospital and straight into the current work I am doing, I would have missed the even more important journey of becoming the person I needed to be in order to do the things I’m currently doing. EVERY experience we have has value, even if we don’t see it at the time, or hind sight tells us that we’re stupid because we didn’t see the red flags. Life isn’t happening to us, it’s happening for us, mostly for our growth and expansion. We are also balancing out energies from past lives, dealing with traumas passed down through our family lines, and creating life from beliefs we locked in about ourselves and/or life from traumas during childhood. We don’t know the why of everything and our human minds aren’t what we need to figure that out. Sometimes we just have to accept where we’re at, and if we’re not happy, then strive to make changes.

If I told you that YOU are the powerful creator of your reality, what would you like to do? Starting setting intentions for how you want to feel in your life day to day. What kind of day do you intend to have today? Realize you have the power to focus on what you want. If you’re not living a life you love, start paying attention to where your focus is going. Fighting against something is the same as fighting for it, so be careful to direct your energy away from the thing you want to change and on what you hope will replace it.

The first things I tell everyone I work with to start doing is to keep a gratitude journal. I’ve seen how it has shifted my train of thought and focus in my own life. Writing down new things that I am grateful for every day allows me to stay in appreciation mode and out of lack, negativity, and complaining mode. It especially helped me when I was struggling with my work in the hospital, because it lifted me up and reminded me of all of the amazing things in my life. We are each so blessed. Like me, you’ve probably been taking the device you’re using right now and the WiFi you have access to in order to read this post. Let me tell you, when you don’t have WiFi at home, you learn to appreciate it. There is much that many of us take for granted every single day. But instead of giving thanks for what we DO have, we get stuck in a negative cycle of complaining about and focusing on what we DON’T have. Break the cycle, change your life for the better. You are the only one responsible for your reality. The sooner you internalize that, the sooner you can flip your script, stop giving your power away, get out of victim mode and thrive.

If you’re noticing that you’re stuck in time and repeating the same patterns, behaviors, and experiencing chronic issues of any kind, the Holographic Kinetics sessions that I do can really stand to help you. Holographic Kinetics is based on Dreamtime Healing of the aboriginal people in Australia and offers powerful healing at the spirit level. During a session with me (or a practitioner near you), you’re able to trace an issue back to its original cause and change the dimension of time, so that it stops affecting your life negatively. My own sessions during training have changed my life. I realize now that they helped me become who I needed to be in this now moment. I’ve noticed huge shifts in how I feel about myself and life, and that has caused me to make different decisions that have completely affected my path. If you’re interested, email me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com. I’d love to hear from you!

Thank you for reading along! If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG or FB for more inspirational posts.

Sending you all so much love!

Jammie

Dance like EVERYONE is Watching!

Seriously! Set yourself FREE and DANCE however you feel regardless of who is watching!

What are we worried about when we care so much about people seeing us dance and have fun? Like really, what do we think is going to happen?

I think generally we’re worried that people won’t like us. Or that they’ll think we’re weird and talk about us behind our backs. Or that they won’t want to be our friends or be seen with us.

Or….maybe it’s that we’re afraid that if we dance the way our bodies want us to, that maybe we’ll actually be seen. We’ve had experiences that have shown us that it’s much more comfortable for us to maneuver through the world sort of invisible. We’ve gotten so used to shirking away from any attention that we’ve gotten really comfortable with fitting in and remaining small. It’s easier to go unnoticed than to put yourself out there for everyone to judge. Right?!

Here’s the thing, trading in our joy for other people’s acceptance also trades away our freedom. Little by little, one small concession at a time. Eventually, we find ourselves unhappy, maybe even depressed, surrounded by people we don’t feel connected to, doing things that don’t light us up, with bodies riddled with dis-ease.

Our ultimate well-being comes from showing up in this world 100% us! Showing up authentically doesn’t mean dancing for everyone, but it does mean putting our own JOY ahead of what anyone else will think! It means doing the things that light us up the most regardless of who is watching! I’ve had to push myself past my own fears and insecurities to the point that I will dance just about anywhere, anytime. But there are things that are outside of my comfort zone, and it takes courage for me to push past my own perceived limitations and do them.

We’re all human. It takes courage for all of us to do things we haven’t done before, and to be the people we came here to be, but haven’t been before.

I have found that the amazing parts of life come from pushing past my comfort zone. And I’m telling you that in the last year of living this way, I’ve experienced the deepest connections of my life MULTIPLE times! One of those connections alone is worth every ounce of nerves I felt as I stepped into full alignment with my spirit!!

So stop being afraid of what/who you’ll lose if you show up in all of your glory, and start being excited about the path you’re going to be placed on when you align with your own spirit! The people you stand to lose because you dance however you feel or say what’s in your heart, are NOT your people to begin with. Your people will be the ones dancing with you! Your light will not blind or offend your people. Your people will be attracted to your light like a lighthouse shining down on a dark sea. Be YOU! Own your space! Own your light! DANCE however the hell you want to, BECAUSE everyone is watching and they need to see examples of people aligned with their spirit! DANCE ALIGN ELEVATE THRIVE!

Thank you for reading along! If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG for more positive content.

If you’re tired of living with the same limitations, patterns, and behaviors, consider trying a session of Holographic Kinetics with me. You have to be local to see me, but there are practitioners worldwide. Holographic Kinetics is a powerful healing modality based on Dreamtime Healing of the aboriginal people of Australia. You can learn more by visiting http://www.holographickinetics.com.

Are You Giving Your Power Away?

“Life is much too short to continue to wait for someone else’s permission to fully live.”

Often we don’t realize we’re doing it, waiting for permission that is, but many of us are. Who are you giving your power away to?

Your parents? The ones who think that you should follow the status quo, because even after their divorce and decision to not date, they still believe that ultimate happiness for everyone lies in the house, the fence, the marriage, and the kids? When are you going to realize that you don’t have to live up to your parents’ expectations of you in order to be a fully whole and worthy human being? If your parents shoot down every idea you present to them that lights you up, stop telling them your plans. Stop asking for their opinions. Your journey is yours alone, and sometimes even your parents won’t understand you. And that’s OK.

Your kids? Maybe you’re a parent and you have Mom guilt about taking a trip alone. I know I did before I left for Western Australia in June of ‘18. Even though my son had balked at the idea of such a long flight, I still felt bad that he wasn’t going with me. But, at one point, I realized that it wasn’t right to put the burden of not following my life-long dream on my son’s shoulders. I think we wrongly do that a lot. We categorize ourselves as parents and then feel bad for anything we do outside of that role without our kids. We’re essentially feeding into the notion that our joy and self-care stops being important once our kids are born. But, if I have learned anything at all, it’s that I am a much better Mom when I have been consciously keeping my own bucket full. Our kids will be much better off if they have parents who take good care of themselves body, mind, and spirit. Our kids learn by what they see us do, not from our words, so in taking care of ourselves, we’re showing them how to take care of themselves. It’s not selfish, it’s vitally important.

Your partner? Perhaps they don’t like to do the things you want to do, and so you’ve just given up and decided that it’s easier if you just don’t do them. If you’re living that way, it’s only a matter of time before you lose yourself completely. It’s depressing to live a life in which you’re not following your joy. If your partner loves you unconditionally, then they will understand that it’s important for you to do things regularly that bring you joy. Maybe that’s not it, but you’ve been miserable for a long time and you’ve tried counseling and nothing is working. Your partner hasn’t made any effort towards making the partnership better, but then tells you they don’t want it to end. Know that you do not need their permission to leave. Know that any outsider who judges you for your feelings about your relationship has no business doing so, because they’re not in it. They can’t understand your experience, and they can’t see the dreams you hold for your life. It’s OK to let go. You don’t need anyone else’s permission but your own. I had friends offer their two cents as I was deciding on what to do about my own marriage. All it did was add to my guilt for feeling the things I felt. I stopped talking about it with other people, and ultimately made the decision that was best for me and my family. Side note: if you’re reading books titled things like “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”, it’s really time to leave. If it’s not a hell yes, then it’s a no. That goes for any decision in life.

Even when advice comes with good intentions, no one outside of us should hold power over us when it comes to living our best lives. Our journey is unique to us, and we’ve got to stop trying to get others to understand it before we feel comfortable enough in making decisions. We have one life to live. Make it count.

Want to work with me one on one? Check out the Work With Me tab and see if the combination of Intuitive Reiki Healing and Joy Coaching resonates with you. Feel free to email me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com. I love to hear from people!

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I Can See Your Soul

Do you see souls too? I have a way of falling in love with people’s souls and their potential in this life. Sometimes this means that I ignore their human-ness that isn’t always lined up with their soul. Personally, while I’ve begun to pay more attention to the full package of a person, I’ve decided that I love seeing the radiance of a person’s soul. I would not trade this ability for anything in the world. I have grown so much and can handle it when a person lets me down, so I love them anyway. Because loving people never hurts us. It only hurts when we aren’t giving ourselves love first. Or lose ourselves in the relationship and our expectations of it. It doesn’t hurt to love. We can love to love without needing anything beyond it.

The chance that exactly you would be born is about 1 in 400 trillion or more (thank you google😂)!! If you weren’t meant to be here exactly now as exactly you, you wouldn’t have made the cut in the first place. You are here because you have something to offer this world that NO ONE else can offer! We need YOU and we need you to show up as 100% your authentic and vulnerable self so that we can reap the full benefit of your existence on this planet. YOU CANNOT BE REPLACED. So, if you’re reading this and you’re struggling and you don’t know if you can face another day alone, then please reach out to one of the 7 billion of us who love you and let us be there for you as you navigate this difficult time. There’s a reason why so many of us exist, we are meant to help each other along on our journeys. Many of us have known dark times, I know I have, so we understand how bleak life can look at times. Keep going, and allow us to carry you when you need us to. You are never a burden to your tribe. We need you to be here. We need you to stay here. We see your beautiful soul and it is absolutely RADIANT! We love you!

Thank you for reading along! If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Much love!❤️

Always Giving, Never Receiving

Have you ever read something and had it just strike you as so much truth that you felt a little slapped in the face by it? That’s exactly what happened to me when I read this quote from Phil Good on my IG feed recently. I have seen this play out in my own life.  In the past, when I was not giving myself what I needed, I got mad at the people in my life who weren’t giving me those things.  When I lacked self-love, I was angry when others did not show me love in the way I felt I needed it. I lashed out and fell into victim mode. And being a victim in life is no way to live. It’s sucks the joy out of our days and it keeps us feeling separate from everyone around us. When we act like victims of circumstance rather than active creators of our realities, we give away all of our power to things, people, and situations outside of ourselves. After all, it was ME I needed the love from, not anyone else. When I felt like I needed love from others, my love was more conditional. It was subconsciously dependent on what the other person was adding to my life. If they weren’t giving me what I felt I needed from them, I got upset, felt unloved, unloveable, and allowed it to create a rift between us. This pattern showed up for parents, partners, and friends alike. When I felt like I needed love from others, I was a people-pleaser who never wanted to create waves. I tiptoed around trying to make everyone else happy, because I had the unconscious belief that in order for me to be OK, I needed everyone else around to be OK first. Can you relate?

I lacked love for myself, so for the sake and comfort of my ego, I felt like I needed it from others in order to fill the inner void, and feel whole and worthy. This meant that for most of my life, I went from long-term relationship to long-term relationship without breaks in between. In order to feel like ‘enough’, I couldn’t possibly leave any breathing room in which no one would be telling me or showing me that I was lovable. I didn’t believe I was lovable, so time on my own would have been too painful and empty to bear. At times, this caused me to start a new relationship before fully ending the old one. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it acted to soften the blow in the moment. In reality, never being single was just a way of placing a temporary bandaid over a much larger, underlying wound.

When I used to give to everyone but myself, my love cup was always half empty and I watched as one-sided relationships showed up in my existence time after time.  It upset me, and I’d end the relationship first. Of course, I wasn’t always aware of this dynamic in a conscious way. It took being intimate with a best friend I had had for many years to make this clear to me. How could it be that yet again, I wasn’t feeling love reciprocated? How could it be that it now felt one-sided like all the others before it? If this was happening with the one person who knew me better than anyone, and from whom I had felt loved unconditionally just as I was, then maybe it was an issue with me, not him. I now see that the one-sided relationships came from only giving love to others, but not to myself. You may not know me well, and you may not know this person I was with or the special bond that we shared, but try to believe me when I say that if THAT relationship wasn’t ultimately filling the void I felt inside, I knew that nothing or no one else could (and you and I are the same, so this is your truth too). In fact, that was the Universe’s way of teaching me the lesson that I am the only one who needs to love me, and I am the only one able to fill my own inner void. The lesson was there before in my past relationships, but I was stubborn in my ego and had always thought it was a problem with the other person, not me. Don’t our egos just love to blame our problems on other people? I was blind to it until I was with my best friend of 15+ years, and had the pattern thrust into my face. Because if I was able to get to a point of feeling unloved, neglected, and abandoned in THAT relationship, then I had to face up to it being a problem with me and how I was showing up in my relationships with other people, and ultimately in my relationship with myself. After all, the only constant in all of my relationships was me.

What I now realize is that in those times, what I was giving to others was not love at all, but instead an expectation for love in return. I’ve come to believe that when we offer conditional love, it is not actually love at all. Only unconditional love, without expectations or requirements that the other person do anything specific or measure up to any standard we have set, is true love. True love is loving a person for exactly who they are, immense human and soul beauty, baggage and all, without needing them to love us back. We see them and accept them as they are and decide from that place to love them. We do not need them to tell us that they love us back. (And we’re not hurt when they don’t). We do not need them to buy us things. We do not need them to show up in our lives in any specific way. We offer them love for the sake of love. We offer them space in our lives simply because we enjoy their presence.

As I have learned to fill my own bucket with self-love, and the things that light me up, I expect/need very little from others.  That’s not to say that I don’t deserve love from other people, but I now recognize that the issue of not feeling loved is always with me and not the other person. When we fully accept ourselves just as we are, we can start to love ourselves, baggage and all. As we do this, our love bucket spills over and we are able to share the excess with other people and the world. It is only from this place of excess love that we can offer true love to others. This is why it’s so important to throw out the word ‘selfish’ and to realize that self-care is NOT selfish, but rather it is necessary if we want to be the love for ourselves and others that we came here to be. Always do the things that please you and light you up FIRST, because we’re working out of order, and can not be there for anyone else if we’re applying everyone else’s oxygen masks before our own.

We’ve got a society of people who have been led to believe that it is the things and people outside of ourselves that will fill our internal void and need for love. It’s by design and keeps us living small as good consumers. This society thrives on blind followers and consumerism. You will only find true love and true happiness when you realize that it is an inner job that can only be completed by you. No person, place, or thing will ever fill that inner void. So, start deciding to do what you love, to put yourself first, and to love and accept yourself fully as you are today, perfectly imperfect. You and I are beautifully human and innately enough. But me telling you so will do nothing until you believe it for yourself.

It took a lot of inner work and therapy to uncover these truths. I didn’t magically wake up one day realizing the things that were holding me back and then changing them. It has taken a very conscious effort on my part to heal and clear the blocks that have held me back in life, and some that continue to hold me back. The rewards for clearing these blocks are more authenticity and vulnerability in our lives, which I find directly correlates to more inner peace and happiness. In this busy world, do not forget to follow your joy. Your joy will always lead you back to your true self and place you in alignment with your higher self. It is from that alignment that you can experience the limitless nature of this life. Do not allow the inner work to be one more thing to be afraid of in this world, but instead allow it to be the key to your ultimate freedom.

It is my passion and purpose in this life to help others on their own healing journeys. I enjoy using a combination of my strong intuition, Reiki healing, and Joy Coaching as part of my process. If this speaks to you, do not hesitate to reach out to me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com. I always love hearing from my readers!

Thank you so much for reading along. If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Please feel free to leave a comment below if my words resonate with you. Much love!