All the Friends

How do we break past old programming and ways of being as a human race? We question everything, we follow our intuition and joy over societal norms, and we stop placing each other in rigid boxes.

My tribe has grown so much in the last year that it still amazes me. The people that I am blessed to call friends are some of the best people on the planet, I am sure of it. Some of those friends are men, some are women, and some don’t identify as one gender or another.

I have always had male friends. I’ve never seen anything wrong with men and women being friends. In fact, my male friends provide me with much-needed grounding energy in my life. I think insecurity is what fuels the notion that men and women cannot ‘just be friends’, especially when one or both have wives, husbands, or otherwise romantic partners outside of the friendship. When a relationship is strong and desired by both people, no friendship outside of that relationship is going to cause issue.

I’d like to pose that the notion that friendships outside of our romantic partnerships can’t exist in a healthy way is an extremely outdated viewpoint that really limits us in our human experience. Relationships of all kinds are what grow us and expand our awareness the most in this life. If we get wrapped up in rules that were created to keep us separate and living small lives, then it will be more difficult for us to step into our full power and become the people that we came here to be. It’s time to bridge the gap between all genders, and more importantly all humans. We’re not going to get there by taking sides and proclaiming ourselves as part of some group smaller than the human race as a whole. Division in solution is not the way to true change.

Assumptions usually don’t have any merit. In the book, “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel-Ruiz, he states the importance of not making assumptions about anyone or anything. Let’s stop assuming that a man and woman hanging out means that they’re dating. Let’s stop placing importance on labeling connections. Does it really matter what other people are doing in the grand scheme of YOUR life? Rather than assuming something, we can ask questions to gain clarity. We need to realize though that some things aren’t any of our business and should be of no concern to us. The only business we need to be concerning ourselves with is our own. Speaking of which, humans can be gossip factories at times using speculation about other people’s lives as a means to connect with each other. This kind of relating is a sign that we’re lacking true, authentic connection with ourselves and others. When we cultivate a deeper connection, no one else’s business is of interest to us anymore. In fact, one of the ways you can lose my interest completely in conversation is to start talking to me about another person’s business. If you’re concerned about what’s going on with another person, I would ask you to go to them directly. I have enough of my own business to tend to, plus I can’t speak to what is truly going on with any other human but myself.

Our perspectives are so unique to us and our own experience that we each see everything through a lens of our own awareness (level of consciousness), experiences, insecurities, and self-imposed limitations. This means that what we perceive is only true for us and our own reality. Our minds would be in a constant state of overload if our brain didn’t have the ability to block out a great deal of outside stimulus from our conscious awareness. But, because our minds function this way, we each perceive different things as we move through the world. You and I could walk down the same street at the same time of day, and we will each notice different things. Our experience will be different even though we are doing the same thing. This is because our brains are sorting through all of the stimulus coming in, and only allowing perception of the things that hold significance for us specifically to get through. We have to understand that everyone has their own perception and is therefore experiencing their own reality. It’s as if we are each experiencing our own simulation game. So what is true for you, is not necessarily true for me. This is why siblings can have extremely different childhoods even when they grew up in the same household. We are each witnessing our own version of reality.

We are not here to conform and change ourselves to fit in with everyone else. And we are definitely not alive in this pivotal moment of awakening on this planet only to do what has always been done. It’s up to each of us to do our own inner work, so that we stop ourselves from judging and making assumptions about each other.

It would be so limiting if I thought that I had to hold back in my connections with others, because of gender or any other constraints that come from the meat suits that we’re temporarily renting. If I had to stop creating dance events for my community with my friend, because he is a man who is married, my life would be seriously lacking and our ability to lift up our community together would be lost. The intentions that each human has behind the things they do can be energetically felt by everyone around them. When we come from a place of honesty, integrity, and pure intentions, we have the ability to form strong connections with many different people across the spectrum of humanness.

We do not have to worry about our partner having friends with other people if we are secure in ourselves and in our relationship. There is no need to limit our connections in this life for any reason. When we each stand in our own power, we lose the need to conform. We don’t freak out that we’re weird or different than someone else, because we begin to experience the magic of living in our true authentic form.

We don’t have to rely on one person for ALL of our needs. I have come to believe that it’s unhealthy if we do. I have many friends and each one offers me a unique experience in connection. I have a friend that I dance and create with, I have friends that I can talk to about books, I have friends I talk to about all things outdoors, I have friends who I can talk to for hours about all things Spiritual, I have friends I went to nursing school with who understand that chapter of my life, I have friends I worked with in field biology jobs, and I have friends I go on adventures with etc etc etc. The list goes on. Lots of different people filling lots of different and important roles in my life. My point being that no one person fills every niche for me. Every person has come into my life for a reason, and I value each friendship greatly. Everyone brings their own unique way of being and perceiving into my life which cannot be replicated by another. For that reason, each person expands my awareness. Much would be lost if I thought that I couldn’t be friends with whomever I wanted. Because everything is energy and ripples out, it’s not just my life that would suffer, but also the world as a whole. Yes, the connections we form can be that significant.

I will not be fit into a box. I will not allow myself to be type casted in any area of my life in order to make other people comfortable. I played that game long enough. Now I live to make myself comfortable. Now my own inner peace outweighs everything else. If your psyche has trouble accepting that and needs to categorize me in some way, then put me into the category where I march to the beat of my own drum, the free spirit category, the category of people where you never know what to expect, the category of people who make you question everything you thought you knew about life, the category of people who will continue to be friends with whoever the hell she wants without needing to explain any of it to anyone, the category of people who lets you know that it is safe and important for you to be 100% authentically YOU.

I did not come here to be like you. I came here to be me. I did not come here to fall in line with the old status quo, I came to forge a new path. I never agreed that as an adult, I would only be friends with and follow my joy with certain people. I am here to form a bridge between people. We are all here to learn how to love ourselves and everyone else more. Open your mind and expand your awareness, so that you too can experience the freedom that comes from nonconformity. It’s time. We’ve got important work to do HERE AND NOW.

Thank you for reading along. If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG for more thoughtful and uplifting content.

We’re All Teachers

Truth. I haven’t always taught people to treat me well. I haven’t always taught people how to be a good friend to me. Can you relate?

I can see now how I allowed things to slide and continued to give people access to me even when they weren’t showing me common courtesy. We live and we learn. The awareness of my role in this dynamic is EVERYTHING. We are not victims, but powerful creators.

I experienced a gigantic shift in how I move through the world post training in Holographic Kinetics. I cleared so much that wasn’t serving me and I continue to see the ripples from those sessions. Overall, I now know my worth. I realize that I am worthy of love, because I was born. I know that what I bring to the table is valuable.

I know that I deserve respect and reciprocal effort. I recognize when someone or something is not meant for me, and so I no longer chase things. I see the divinity in everything and flow more, say yes, and surrender.

We are always teaching the people around us how to treat us. Growing up a people-pleaser and peace-keeper has prevented me from speaking my truth at times, because I was more concerned about keeping others happy and not making waves. A deeply subconscious program was running that also cared greatly what other people thought or if they liked me. It’s not that I’m now immune to it all, but my awareness has shifted so that I know that my own peace and happiness come first. I speak up when I need to without worrying if the person will still like me. I know that if I can’t speak my mind in relationship with someone, then I’m better off without them. Our boundary setting and truth speaking only mean the end when a relationship isn’t meant for us. Our people value our truth. Our people know our worth. Our people value what we bring to the table. Our people appreciate our boundaries. Our people are happy when we offer them insight on how they can be a better friend to us. Knowingly or unknowingly, they appreciate our level of self-love and acceptance.

There was a time when I played the victim card all too often. With a new level of awareness comes a new level of understanding of how I have been co-creating every relationship in my life. If I’m not happy with the way things are, I now take responsibility and work to change the way I’m showing up. I know that everything starts with me. Everyone else is just a mirror.

It can be easy to blame others for treating us poorly, but the real growth comes from seeing the role that we’re playing in the dynamic. I used to think that people could read my mind and know what I needed from them. Now I realize that most people aren’t operating at that level. If we don’t let people know how we like to be treated, then we’re really making this game harder on all of us. Not speaking our truth leads to guess work and disappointment. I’m still working on asking for what I need. But we can’t just stop at getting mad at the other person who was just doing what we’ve set up to be an acceptable way to treat us. WE have to step up and become better teachers. My goal is to expect better than before, create better than before, and be better than before.

Check out my friend Jerrett Johnson’s song, “Better Than Before” under The Faculty on Spotify!

If you feel called to heal your own issues that are holding you back and you’re local, consider reaching out to me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com for more information on the powerfully healing Holographic Kinetics sessions that I do.

Thank you for reading along! If you liked this post, please like and share it. Consider following me on IG for more positive content at peaceful.jellyfish.

Repost Picture from: @hierophantpublishing @7_secrets_of_relationships @donmiguelruiz

High Five!!

We’re all in the same boat! This life we’re so blessed to live provides us with a broad canvas on which to grow, expand, and move beyond anything that was previously limiting us!

It’s time to step into our power and create lives we love! While healing isn’t usually pretty or painless, in my experience, it is a billion times worth it! At this point, I happily adjust my lens as I find blind spots I hadn’t noticed before. It can be like a game. Pay attention to what is showing up in your life, and if you don’t like what you see, go within to find the cause of it. You are the powerful creator of your reality, because you control your thoughts about yourself and life! Perception is everything!

I’ll give you a real-life example: last year my car got hit twice (well 3 times or more but 2 caused decent damage) while it was parked. I was annoyed that the first person at work didn’t leave a note, and happy the second one did, but I was still annoyed about it. I could have chosen to see it all as a giant negative and gotten really disgruntled about it. But I didn’t. Instead, I chose to be excited that the insurance money could go towards paying my rent and bills after my big leap of faith and traveling last year. If I told you the details of the timing of it all, it would have even more of an impact. But just suffice it to say, that I felt completely taken care of. I appreciated the hidden intricacies of the Universe and I moved the fuck on with my thoughts.

We ARE the creators of our stories, our lives, so it’s times we start creating ones that UPLIFT us and make us feel good! Why not?! If you’re telling people/yourself a story that makes you out to be a victim, CHANGE the story. Today. STOP telling that other one. Instead of saying that you were with a narcissist and they gaslighted you and controlled your life, change it to one where you gave your power away to another person, but you realized it and got yourself out of the situation, and have rebuilt yourself and your life since then. And then MOVE ON to talking about your PRESENT, because it’s all that exists now. Now. THIS moment.

I have been around people who talk as if they JUST got themselves out of a toxic relationship and got a divorce only to find out that it happened OVER A DECADE AGO! I get it, we can get stuck in time. We can get lost in the memories of our past moments. We’ve all done it. But we don’t have to keep the old story lines alive if they’re bringing us down. We don’t have to live with the same patterns, beliefs, stories, thoughts, behaviors, or vibration.

Every day, we wake up to a brand new day filled with endless possibilities! We have the control to CHOOSE to transcend that which is no longer serving us! Make today count. Keep moving. Keep growing. Keep allowing for the expansion that is going to lead you to your best now moment ever! We’ve all got this! One. Step. One. Moment. At. A. Time.

Let’s live lively! Dance Align Elevate Thrive!

Reposted pic from FB: Access the Power Within 🙏🏻

I woke up and danced to Michael Franti and Spearhead’s song “Little Things” today! So many excellent lyrics in one song! You can check it out HERE!

“You know that it don’t cost a dime to spend a little extra time

To throw a little smile at somebody passing by you

You know that love don’t cost a thing

But it’s worth more than any diamond ring

Cause in this great, big world, it’s the little things”!!!

Thank you for reading along! If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Feel free to follow me on IG for more inspiring content! So much love to you all! Thanks for being a witness to my ever evolving self.

Unconditional Love

 

I pay attention to the lyrics in the music I listen to. “What if all the love you gave was starin’ at you from the grave, would it make your heart explode?” To me, these lyrics speak of the amount of love we’re giving out into the world. Are you giving out so much love in your life that having it come back to you would make your heart so full that it would figuratively explode?! So many people I follow and books I have read speak to the same truth: only unconditional love is real, all else is an illusion. Loving ourselves and others as much as we can is the KEY to a better life and a better world! 

I find myself so in love with myself and with life these days that I attract the absolute BEST people whom I love instantly! I’ve slowly let go of the notion that love needs to only be reserved for my family and romantic relationships. In the last year as I have followed my joy and intuition into alignment with my own spirit, I have found my heart open so much to the love that we all are. It’s a really beautiful feeling to have love in my heart for everyone, even people I’ve just met! I strive more to show my love for people in my life than to speak it, but speaking it has also been so freeing. Why do we keep our love under lock and key? I think it’s a result of a combination of our past hurts, traumas, and  programming among other things. We’re more used to feeling hate and fear than we are to feeling love and togetherness. We’re more used to imagining worst case scenarios than best case scenarios. The more I love myself, the more incredible the people I attract are, the more love I feel, because PEOPLE ARE SO BEAUTIFUL! We are all energetic, spiritual beings first and foremost, so when I feel good energy emanating from someone, I feel it and our spirits are magnetized to one another. And even in times when I feel it and don’t say it, I often think to myself, “I love you!” which sends a powerful love vibration out to the person and into the world. 

I have been so lucky to look into the face of someone I love with tears in our eyes as we consciously chose to have our relationship transform into a friendship. It was for the best, and we both knew it. I have loved only this one person unconditionally in a romantic context. I thought that I had loved unconditionally before him, but I hadn’t, because in those past relationships, I was unconsciously seeking to receive love in return for the love I was giving. It has to do with the conscious awareness I have cultivated in my life over the last several years. I have never been so conscious in relationship before. Real unconditional love exists when we aren’t needing or wanting, consciously or not, anything in return for the love that we give someone. It comes when we release expectations of how we want someone to be or how we want them to show up in our lives, and fully allow them to be who they are. We love them for who they are, not for who we want them to be. 

Much of my conscious awareness with relationships came from this relationship. It didn’t always feel good. In fact, at times my wounds were triggered and it was set up so that I was pushed to go within to find the answers to why I was feeling this way vs blaming my feelings on the other person. Because of the way it was set up, we did not see each other often, which meant that I had the distance I needed to really connect with myself and see my codependent tendencies and therefore heal and release them vs act from them. I even told him that I was catching things before I felt the need to bring an issue up to him. It’s what our spirits set out to do, to make us aware of our issues, to give us space to see and heal them, and to hold loving space for each other as we healed, grew, and expanded. Friends, there is nothing like dropping expectations and seeing the bigger picture of a connection with a person. 

And it’s not about dropping expectations for how we want to be treated, or allowing ourselves to settle for less than what we want in a relationship. It’s about going with the flow, knowing that people don’t show up in our lives by chance, and embracing the lessons and moments with a person in the NOW. We have the choice of who we spend time with, so at any moment if a connection isn’t bringing us joy, we have the ability to walk away. I would always ask myself if the connection was bringing me joy. While the answer was yes, I made space for the connection in my life, When we felt like we needed to move on, we did, with no ill will or feelings towards each other. I never felt anger. I never felt the need to cling, because I was also learning during this time that there is no lack in this life. Therefore, I didn’t feel the need to cling to him. I knew that when I was guided to move on that I could trust it and I got curious about what/who would come in to fill that energetic space in my life. When we really love someone, we want the best for them and us. We respectfully express gratitude for them and their time as we walk away. We acknowledge the beauty of the connection, because an end is never really an end to the love we feel. There are no real lines, so there is no switch to change our feelings just because the nature of the relationship has changed. If we really love someone, we let them go with grace and love. 

In the last year especially, I have seen how divine the timing of everything is, including the timing of when people come into and go out of my life. There are no coincidences. I have always had the idea that this person and I had a deeper connection with each other. I felt like we knew each other from past lives. We recently got closure that I didn’t even know I needed. Our connection came full circle as we completed the pact our spirits had with each other to meet up and help remind each other of who we were before the world told us who we should be. Much of our relationship was about experiencing child-like joy together. We met just before I realized that my health was back and that I was physically capable of all that I had been before my dis-ease. I found myself, in part, in our moments spent together. Sometimes, even when we think that we’ve let go of a person completely, we can spend time together and get beautiful closure beyond a time of physical separateness. We had an amazing time express our feelings and gratitude, to share what we had learned in our relationship and during our time apart, and to experience more joy together!

Stay open. When you follow your intuition and joy, you’ll find that you get guided to what you need rather than what you think you want. Our spirits know what we need. Our spirits know when we need more experiences with a person in order to close out the old agreement we had with them in order to make way for the new friendship that we’re welcoming into the new, now moment. Giving love is always the answer. When we’re giving from our overflowing cup, giving love to someone doesn’t deplete us. When we love unconditionally, we see how beautiful people are even in their own perceived ‘flaws’. Loving this person unconditionally opened me to love myself unconditionally. I saw him in all of his authenticity and vulnerability and I saw myself reflected back to me. Loving his light AND dark led me to love my own light and dark in a deeper way. Isn’t it beautiful how relationships are to grow us and not make us happy? Our sweet closure left me in awe of our shared experience and excited for what is to come for both of us as we’ve both transformed our lives in the time since we first met. We shift our connection and allow ourselves to go as a river into the wild, expansive unknown of the next, now moment. 

If all the love I gave was starin’ at me from the grave it would most definitely make my heart explode! The love I experience every day for myself, life, nature, and the connections I continue to make with other people already makes my heart explode on the daily! Life is an adventure. Play more! Love more! Follow your joy every day! It’s in your power to create and give more love in this life! Start with loving yourself and then allow that love to overflow out into the people and world around you! The world needs more love! 

Thank you so much for reading! If you like this post, please like and share it! Sending you so much love today and every day! Follow me on IG for more inspiration to live your best life! 

Watch the video for “Let It Go” HERE. (Yes I know I have posted this song on this blog before. It has so many good messages for all of us!)

 

We Create Our Relationships

I choose my thoughts and my thoughts create my reality! I choose to think that conscious people attract conscious partners. End of story.

I see other sayings bouncing around about spiritual women attracting men who need healing. Hate to break it to you, but we’re the ones attracting people into our reality. It’s not some random thing. It’s energetic. If you don’t like the types of people you’re attracting into your life, then your best bet is to start looking at your own vibration. Are you showing up as the person you’re seeking? Are you loving yourself up? Do you believe that you are worthy of love? Of a conscious partner? Are you generally joyous or miserable? Negative or positive?

We’re the only ones we can blame in our game, because we’re so powerful that we create it. Read that again. I attracted a controlling person when I was tired of making all of the decisions in another relationship. I didn’t want to plan every activity anymore. This person did. Problem solved. Also, even though I didn’t realize it at the time, I was attempting to fill a void in me with another person. And that doesn’t work. Ever. So stop trying. Depending on other people for the love that we should be giving ourselves never makes for a happy, healthy relationship. I take full responsibility for the situation I created with my low self-esteem, lack of self-love, decision to no longer be the one guiding my life, and my codependent ways. Me. It all brought me to ground zero. Being broken isn’t always a bad thing if what you needed was a restart. I left that relationship not even knowing what I preferred the thermostat to be set at. I didn’t know what made me happy, or even what kind of music I liked because I stopped listening to it for years. (Red flag #6,837,263) I had to start myself over. Reset!

It’s almost like I was deprogrammed from things I had come to learn about myself since birth. It was all erased, because I had lost myself so completely in that relationship. I literally had to start rebuilding myself. From scratch I had to figure out things I liked to do, people I liked to be around, and music I liked to listen to, to name a few. I also had to start loving myself and putting my needs and well-being first, which is how I gathered the courage to leave. I had to be mentally and physically healthy, so that I could be there for myself and my young son.

And so, I started over. That’s not to say that some other repeating relationship patterns didn’t show up again until I realized that I was the common denominator. If you find yourself in this place of seeing cycles of similarities in all of your relationships, do yourself a favor and stop playing victim and get back into the driver’s seat. Take back your power as a powerful creator in this world, and stop blaming other people for your unhappiness. Take that last relationship that ended the same way as your wake up call to do the work that you didn’t even know you needed to do. Look within for a change. Live yourself. Be kind to yourself. Stop with the negative self-talk. Stop putting every single other person‘s needs ahead of meeting your own.

We get what we expect in life. Our subconscious thoughts about ourselves and life tend to run the show until we become conscious creators. Are you going to put your energy into dwelling on what you’ve attracted in the past, or are you going to focus on raising your vibration and attracting something so good that it’s beyond the scope of your current imagination?! I know what I’m choosing.

Have you ever heard the saying “you don’t get what you want. You get what you are.”? It came to me today after writing most of this that I have experienced this literally in my life. We have to get really honest with ourselves to see it sometimes. Like the time I was dating someone and was getting so annoyed that he was emotionally unavailable. Haha! Yeah, at this point, I was conscious enough to get annoyed, but then realized shortly after that I was not emotionally available either. Sometimes in this life as we’re all so used to following the beat of the dividing drum, we point fingers at others when in fact, WE are the ones we need to be reflecting on. I had several things come up during this time with this person, and none of it was about them, not really. For every single issue I had, I could see where inside me it was stemming from. When you attain this level of awareness, the people in your life stop becoming the enemy. You see people as actual reflections of you, and the parts of you that need healed. Or, you uncover some limiting belief about yourself or life that has been unconsciously creating your life. Are you so spiritual that you’re attracting partners who need healed, or are you in fact attracting mirrors who are showing you parts of yourself that still need healed? It’s time to level up across the board. Now is not the time to be aware in some areas of our lives, yet asleep in others. Allow your righteousness to fall away, because no one is more ‘right’ than another. This life is not about competition, it’s about aligning with our own spirits so that we can consciously create the lives of our dreams. We have to start in our own lanes if we want to create lasting change in our lives and in the world. The change has to start within. So, pay attention. What are you attracting into your life? The answer to this question will tell you where your energetic vibration has been up to now. Don’t worry if you’re not where you want to be yet, you have the power to change it.

The reality is that we are all one. When you treat another with kindness, you are being kind to yourself. When you hate another, you are sending hate to yourself. We’re connected, as we are all Source/Universe/God in human form. So do your best to drop the labels and stop the finger pointing. Show up with more compassion for everyone, including yourself firstly. It is not ‘selfish’ to put yourself first. Because we are all so intimately connected, when you take care of yourself, you also take care of me.

Locally, I am available for Dreamtime Healing using Holographic Kinetics sessions. You can read more about it at http://www.holographickinetics.com. In session, your spirit guides us on a journey back in time to find the points of creation for 3 issues that you are currently struggling with, so that you can change that dimension of time permanently at the level of the spirit. It essentially then breaks the repeating cycles of similarity in your life that have been and would otherwise continue to repeat. Reach out to me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com for more information or visit the Holographic Kinetics website to find a practitioner near you.

Thank you for reading along! If you liked this post, please like and share it! You can also follow me on IG and/or FB for more inspiring content. Sending you all so much love!