Return to Myself

I’m ready to heal the stories and stop pretending reality away

I’m not waiting for other people anymore to go on adventures with me upon this expansive earth

Out of my comfort zone, I find you

I see you there, through the lush, crisp trees, and my jovial spirit begins to awaken

We empathize with one another as humans who have experienced health crises

We are there, next to the rushing river, pushing past physical disability 

Testing our bodies to see how far they can travel, how much they can carry

Testing my heart, I felt so much release learning to love you without expectation 

My life has come full circle, and I come down to earth to live again, wild and free

Feeling my skin so cold and alive, my heart feels like it might explode with joy

I’ve stopped taking life for granted and I bask in the moments of hot soaks, cold dips, and a starry dome overhead as we sleep outside

As I feel my wet, cold face against yours warm and dry, I find myself and choose to live with love

Bit by bit, I remove the compartments I created as an attempt to control the chaos around me

I am supposed to write, so I release my words from the dam I had built and I feel a rush back to my authentic self 

I find myself naked with my heart wide open, ready to be the light that I came here to be

More consciously aware in this life than ever before, I realized the beauty as it happened

The exhilarating plunges into cold water collided me with my own spirit

After a tiresome vertical swim up from the depths of the outside world, I return to myself

My face breaks through the surface of the water in a splash and I inhale deeply as if I’m breathing air for the first time

My life will never be the same.

About this poem: I wrote the majority of this poem on multiple paper strips years ago as part of an online writing workshop I took part in. This past winter, I found the strips, and added to them to create this poem. It represents the critically important time in my life when I literally returned to myself by following my joy. It was the year I realized that my health was back and that I could again hike as far as I wanted to without worry of my pericarditis coming back. I’ve cried with gratitude on many hikes, in complete awe that I was given a second chance to fully enjoy nature and this life again.

Thanks so much for reading along. If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG for more inspirational content.

Sending you all so much love!

Jammie

Goodbye Old, Hello New!

I’ve been purging. I finally threw out all of my cards and letters from people that I had collected over the last 2 decades of my life. I’m a very sentimental person and I hang onto things that have been meaningful to me. I have been one to write a LOT of letters in my life. A LOT. But I keep being left with the same thought. If having so many things stored in my closet is bothering me, is holding onto these keepsakes to look at once a year (MAX) really serving my highest good? For me, that answer is no. When I picture my closet nearly bare, I feel more free and happy.

I spent part of my time today, OK maybe a large part, reading through some of my most valued cards and letters before saying goodbye. I came across words in a letter, from one of my best friends back in 2006, that made a huge impact on my life. I was struggling really badly with severe depression at the time and this friend was one of the very few people I had opened up to about it. It turns out that they had experienced depression in their own life and their words in this letter really soothed my then broken heart at the time.

Referring to lyrics from an Iron and Wine song, they write, “in song #6, he writes, “so may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten, sons are like birds flying upwards I’ve the mountain,” that hit home.

The sunrise gives us all a new day and hope for a different experience than the day before when we’re really down in the trenches of depression. The fact that my friend responded with compassion when I told him I was depressed made all the difference to me. In fact, I credit him with being one of the people who saved my life in this lifetime. It feels sad to get rid of this important part of my history, but it’s really just a relic reminding me of things I’ve already assimilated. My memories of it live on. Every moment, every letter, every person, every place, every job is etched into the fabric of the life I have led this time around. Things can remind us of the good times, but the moments are ours whether or not we keep the things we associate with them.

The letters. I moved out of state for college, I then attended 3 different schools for my undergrad, and I traveled the country and lived away from loved ones, often in remotely wild and beautiful places. Sometimes snail mail was the only way I could consistently communicate with my friends and family. I had kept every letter I had received from people when I spent a summer in the backcountry of Alaska nearly 19 years ago now! I had all cards and letters including ones from the Mom of one of my best high school friends who died in our early twenties, I had letters from a friend’s Mom whom I adored who also died, I had letters from my high school sweetheart, cards and letters from my family, and best friends. At one point many years ago, I had just thrown all the letters in a container together and thought of them more as one item. I always thought about it as I’d get rid of or keep all of them. Every year, I open the box, read a few, and decide to close it and keep it all. Not this year.

My bedroom closet is pretty big. It stores my clothes, my camping gear, my sewing machine (I never use), photos/albums, Christmas decorations and a few small things from other holidays, a filing cabinet with loads of papers sorted, and a few containers of my son’s schoolwork starting with preschool, his awards, and a tote of photo albums and pictures. My spirit has been nagging me for the last few years to throw out everything except for my clothes, furniture and things I use regularly. Now I see why.

I really dug into this purge with a purpose to eliminate most of what’s in my closet. Wow. I was holding onto to so many things from my past. Like today, I found a binder in the filing cabinet with ALL of my dog’s paperwork. The adoption papers from the shelter where I got him, his paper collar that listed his supposed breed and age, vet bills. Wow. My Gus dog died in January of 2016! I didn’t even realize that I had kept all of that. I discovered all sorts of things of that nature, whole folders filled with things I no longer need from anywhere from about 10-20 years ago!!!

Here I have been consciously working to usher new energies into my life, without realizing how much I was clinging to the old. Energetically, our space only has room for so much energy, so when we cling to old energies and ones no longer serving us, we unwittingly prevent new energies from coming in. So this week, I have been releasing the old thoroughly. I am ready for all the new that this Universe has waiting for me!

Here it is, nighttime again and I STILL have things strewn about my bed and room. I have made so much progress today. I feel accomplished and lighter. I’ve dropped pounds of literal weight and who knows how much energy that was tied to it. I have more to do, but I feel more ready than ever for my next chapter.

My son opted to get rid of things that were no longer serving him last week too. He really lightened his load. His determination to clear the old was inspirational. And I was proud of myself for not going through the things he was parting with to see if there was anything I could hand down to my nieces (or keep.) I didn’t even look through the books he had outgrown and decided to donate! Now that’s growth! And genuine desire to release the old to make way for the new.

Clearing all of that old energy is palpable. You may have never thought about it that way before: that getting rid of stuff changes the energy of a space, but it does. Think of a time when you’ve purged a bunch of stuff from a room in your house or even from a dresser or cabinet. Did you keep going back to look at the cleared space? It’s because you could feel the shift in energy. It’s more light and free. Sure, we love to see organized space where there was once chaos, but I believe it’s the way the new space FEELS that keeps us wanting more of it. We are, after all, energetic beings surrounded by energy. The nuances affect us whether or not we are consciously aware.

Have you been feeling the same need to purge your belongings lately? How are you doing? How do you feel?

You can listen to Iron and Wine’s song “Upward Over the Mountain” HERE.

Thank you for reading along! If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG or FB for more inspirational posts. Sending you all so much love!

Jammie

Shed the Mask

After all of the years that have run their course since Shel Silverstein wrote this, isn’t it still so powerful? To me, it represents how we often move through the world hidden behind masks of conformity, unable to connect to the people who radiate the energy and qualities we most seek through connection. How do we get to a place of showing up most authentically in our lives? What allows us to finally drop the masks we’ve been holding up, so that we can find our tribe, our partner, and OURSELVES?

We are born beautiful bundles of light wrapped in adorable little suits complete with the biggest eyes and tiniest toes. Open, present, and connected to the Source that we are. I’ve seen many babies born and have had the pleasure in caring for them immediately after birth. Have you ever felt the energy of a new baby? Their energy shifts the entire room. People laugh, cry, shake, clap, hug, scream, beam, and delight simply because of the presence of a newborn baby. Yes, of course part of that is because of the excitement the family has for this little one, but as everything is energy, there’s so much more to it than than the purely human/physical experience of it. In witnessing birth, we are literally witnessing a portal open up from the spiritual to the physical as a mother ushers new life into the world. How truly amazing is this life? Women are the connection between the spiritual and physical planes.

Because of the work I do in Holographic Kinetics, I have come to know that the spark of a new spirit enters its earthly form at the time of conception inside the mother’s womb. From that moment on, as holograms of our mothers, we become observers to her entire experience. Our mother’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences feel like our own as we are so intimately connected. Even at that stage of our development, we can take on beliefs and thoughts about ourselves and life that will continue to shape our realities throughout this lifetime and sometimes beyond.

Little children do not conform. They want to wear rain boots when it’s dry, sunny and 110 degrees out, they want to wear mismatched, colorful clothes, they want to sing and dance wherever they find themselves. But then, they get sent to school and around 4th grade/9 years old, they notice that other people are paying attention to them and what they’re doing, saying, and what they’re wearing. They’re noticing the same about others. And their whole world shifts. Rather than being completely free, they become easily embarrassed. They move away from their free-spirited nature, and towards what everyone else seems to expect from them. At this point, they might put on a mask to conceal their true nature. And their light dims.

As teenagers, the judgements grow as do the comparisons to each other. With social media booming, people are exposed to, and are therefore able to compare themselves to more people than ever before in humankind history. But it’s a false comparison when we pit our insides against anyone’s outsides, especially the outsides that are neatly displayed on social media. Nevertheless, all of the comparison quickly steals joy. Teens can start feeling lonely and isolated during this time, because many are not connected real person to real person, but rather masked person to masked person. They question how anyone can love them, since they know, even if only deep down, that no one REALLY knows them. And their light dims even more.

For those people blessed enough to make it out of their teens and into adulthood, they often find themselves checking off the “requirements” of adulthood as deemed appropriate by society, their parents, and their peers. College, job to pay for college, material possessions, a house large enough to store the material possessions, marriage to another masked individual with much to be revealed once the papers are signed, the debts are incurred. Passion takes a backseat to responsibility. Feeling further separated from their own inner guidance system, their own spirit and truth, their light dims more.

Clearly, I’m speaking generally. Not everyone masked themselves as children. Not everyone felt the need to conform to the rules. But the reality is that many have felt those pressures and can relate to what I am writing.

So then, how do we break free from that life-long programming that has us worrying so much about what other people think of us and what we “should” be doing that we allow our own light to be dimmed? I think for many of us, we hit a breaking point. A time when our mind, body, and/or spirit simply can’t take it anymore. The exhaustion and stress of holding up the weight of everyone else’s expectations, and misaligned expectations that we have placed on ourselves opens us up to dis-ease, breakdown, crisis, and/or collapse. Mine was dis-ease that turned into Lyme disease that attacked my heart. After years of not following my own heart and inner guidance, my physical heart nearly stopped beating. Did I recognize this beautiful metaphor as I was living through it? Absolutely not. Did I need to recognize it for the medical emergency I experienced to lead me down a road to completely shift myself and my life? No! Believe me, I was backed into a very tight corner eventually and the state of my health FORCED me to change my life.

But, I want you, the reader, to know that you don’t have to wait until body/mind/spirit pushes back and your heart nearly fails or you get into a serious car accident to change how you’re moving through the world. You can choose to listen to and follow your own spirit’s guidance now. You can make a conscious decision today to take steps towards a new reality. A reality with less rigid rules to follow, more joy, more freedom of expression, and most importantly, more alignment with your own spirit.

5 Important Reasons to Stop Fitting In:

1. Conformity squashes our spirit. You were born to be YOU!! Not your sister, brother, Mother, Father, or friend. When we’re constantly trying to fit in, we will constantly feel tired and rejected. We are, after all, rejecting ourselves by behaving this way. We have to start accepting ourselves fully and internalizing the fact that we were born to SHINE, not fit it!

2. Your vibe attracts your tribe. So if you’re showing up inauthentically in your life, you’re going to have a sense of not belonging to the groups you find yourself socializing in. Your connections will feel very surface level, because you, yourself, are staying surface level with what you reveal about yourself to others. It’s only when we expose our own depth that others will reflect that back to us and we’ll find ourselves having more meaningful connections and conversations. You can’t find your people while wearing a mask. How will they find you if you just look and act like everyone else??!

3. Authenticity is one of the most important ways to align with our own spirits and reach new levels of freedom. If we want to feel fulfilled. If you want a life of freedom, joy, and love, the best way I’ve found is to connect in with our own inner guidance system/our spirit and live from that place. If everyone showed up authentically in this world, I truly believe that there would be no gap in finding the solution to every problem. Our energetic vibrations are unique and fill a very specific need on our planet. Alignment with my spirit has led me to amazing people and opportunities. Alignment can look and feel like magic.

4. Our purpose in life is who we are, NOT what we do. As we move through the world as uniquely ourselves, we help create positive change. When we prioritize our own alignment and live with passion, freedom, and joy, our experience and elevated energy ripples out and positively affects the collective. In alignment, I’ve found that I still feel called to help people, but the difference is that I now realize that I don’t have to DO anything specific to make that so. In alignment, the things we say in conversation give people just the right insights at the right time, and we can be the catalyst for downloads of remembrance for people.

5. Following our joy and passions is a requirement, not a luxury if we want to lead more fulfilling lives. When people follow what they think they “should” do for money, fame, or to please their own parents, they often ignore their own inner guidance system (intuition/spirit) and end up feeling depleted. If you want to feel better, you’ve got to start doing more things that light you up! What made you feel most alive when you were a kid? What passions have you forgotten that you had? What part of you have you been neglecting? Our passions are a direct link to our spirit. Follow them into alignment and you’ll be rewarded with increased synchronicities that guide you towards people, situations, and opportunities that are for your highest good.

I am so grateful for the shifts that are happening on this planet. So many have come here to question and push against the status quo. There are so many beautiful spirits here who are living their truth and making it a priority to remain aligned with their own spirit. When we show up authentically, we give permission for others to do the same. When asked what love means to me recently, I answered something like: love means holding space so that a person feels comfortable being their authentic self. It’s what came out when prompted with little time to think about it. But seriously, if all we do in this life is love people into their own best version, we will have done a LOT to shift the state of this planet. Think about it: we give the people in our lives unconditional love which to me means holding space for their authenticity…authenticity is key to alignment with our own spirits…and alignment with our own spirits is what leads us to living our best lives full of more freedom, joy, love, and fulfillment!

I hope this post inspires you to take a step towards connecting with your own spirit, while disconnecting from the conformist program. I don’t know about you, but I never wanted to live a shallow life. I’ve always craved more juicy depth and meaning in my connections. We get to decide how we show up, therefore we get to decide what reality we experience. Show up as your true, raw, authentic, and vulnerable self, and you will attract everything you seek like a magnet.

“Driftin’” by Matisyahu

“Expansive soul with my wings in the air
Try to fit a circle in the square
All this talk about my look, who cares
Shallow minds just got to surface”

Listen to “Driftin’” HERE.

Thank you for reading along. If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG/FB for more inspirational content. Sending you all so much love!

Confidence

I used to buy notebooks and journals all the time, and never write in them. Then, in about 2015, I started filling them and I haven’t stopped. The words just keep pouring out of me. During the times in my life when I lost my voice and gave my power away to other people and other things outside of myself, I withheld my creative expression. Now, it’s as if the floodgates have opened!

I remember times in my life when my energy overwhelmed the people I was closest to in my life. I remember times of having my words and actions questioned to the point of causing me to retreat deep inside of myself, because I felt “wrong” in every way I was trying to show up in the world. I remember the numerous times when people said I talked too much. You know, when you’re as sensitive as I am, you’re hearing people’s words and sensing what they’re thinking and feeling about you.

I am so happy that I have taken the time to get really confident in myself to the point of not caring if someone doesn’t like the way I’m showing up. I know that my energy attracts my tribe and I see how the people and situations in my life have shifted accordingly. I am happy that I have cultivated my communication over the years, because it’s extremely important for my purpose and the work I do. Communication is key to my favorite — connection. I’m so glad that through the course of my lifetime, I have taken classes, and have been in situations that required me to write a LOT. Again, all important for my purpose.

On May 31, 2018, after leaving my last shift as an RN in the hospital, I wrote: “I have chosen to follow my intuition, the synchronicities, and the urgings of my spirit and step onto a mostly invisible path. And I’ve never felt more at peace or more confident in my decisions as I do right now. I turn 39 tomorrow and fly around the world to a place I have dreamed of going since I was 18 — AUSTRALIA! It has taken me the better part of 39 years to get to this place. Today, I feel like I walked to the edge of a tall, spiring cliff, arms raised up like wings in the air, and jumped off into the great unknown with a confidence I didn’t have 3 years ago.”

Show up! Take risks! Live large!

I could have never seen the changes that would happen in my life from the ones I made back in 2018. My life looks nothing like I thought it would. I’m doing things for work now that didn’t even know existed back then! My personal sessions of Holographic Kinetics have only added to my confidence. One of the issues I cleared isn’t one I knew I had – feeling like there was something wrong with me. I had been carrying that around with me since my 20’s. It has been an experiment of sorts to clear issues like this one through Holographic Kinetics and then wait and see how it shifts my life. It’s hard to pinpoint the individual shifts and what issue’s release led to them, but I do know that I just feel so much more confident and comfortable in my own skin, and so much more trusting in my journey.

If you’re interested in having a Holographic Kinetics session with me, email me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com for more information. This week, I have openings on Thursday morning, Friday evening, and Saturday. I usually have availability on Tuesday and Thursday mornings and Saturday and Sunday. I schedule within the week we’re in. You can also visit http://www.holographickinetics.com for more information.

Thank you so much for reading. If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG and FB for more inspiring content. Sending you all lots of love!

Jammie

My current song obsession can be heard HERE. It’s Nahko and Medicine for the People’s “Aloha Ke Akua”. And the even more fitting song, “Confidence” by Matisyahu HERE.

Dear New College Graduates,

Picture from book “just love.” by Scott Stabile

“The light within each of us fears nothing, accepts everything, and sees the value of it all as a means for deeper growth and healing. Trust in your light. It will make sense of your darkness.” — by Scott Stabile “just love.”

I recently had a new college graduate reach out to me for some advice. At the end of the conversation, I realized that what I had shared could potentially help a lot of people. So, I’ve decided to post it here. Conversations like this one light me up and keep me going. It is my intention to simply direct people back to themselves, to their own inner knowing, and to alignment with their own spirits. Always trust in your light!

I realize the power of my perspective to help shift people into a new level of awareness. But, I am acutely aware that all knowledge and wisdom lies in the person themselves. As spiritual beings having a human experience, we each have the answers that we seek within us. We hold the keys to what is holding us back and the keys to our own healing. We hold the key to our next steps along our path. We just have to quiet our minds and really listen to the whispers of our own spirit. Life is about living as the main character in our own show without allowing the loud roar of voices from our families, society, and even our own egos distract us from following our own inner guidance system. You came here to be exactly YOU!

Just the fact that you’re here, on this planet is enough for you to deserve everything your heart desires, because only you hold your exact energetic frequency. You vibrate higher when you show up authentically and unapologetically YOURSELF while you follow your joy and live your life to the fullest, whatever that looks like for YOU! (not me or your parents or your teachers or society.) Just because things have been a certain way for a lot of years doesn’t mean anything other than humans may have gotten into a bit of a rut. We are in great need of some movers and shakers to help change it up. So, instead of worrying about how to manage your anxiety as you bend and fold yourself to fit into an existing box that you’re terrified of getting stuck in, align with your own spirit, and stay the hell away from any box or any person trying to fit you into one! (or at least don’t ask for or take advice from those people). Run and be free and forge your own path! It’s 2020, it’s time to get clear on the vision you want for your own life.

College Graduate: “Hi, I just saw your IG tv video on why the govt wants to control indigenous people and agree with you completely. However, this makes me look at my own life and I feel so trapped. I’m about to graduate college and have been putting off applying to jobs just because I don’t want to be a slave. I want to break free but it goes against everything and I feel so lost. I want to live freely and in alignment but my poverty mindset & trauma seems to stop me. Do you have any words of advice?“

Me: “Wow thanks for reaching out to me! I hear you. I see you. And I appreciate you.

If you’re feeling like you don’t want to apply to jobs right now, then my advice? Don’t apply to jobs. You JUST graduated. There’s no real hurry to jump into something you’re not going to feel passionate about. I just went to a powerful intention setting ceremony today and it was powerful.

Sit quietly with your eyes closed, clear your mind and ask: what is God’s (my own spirit is what I asked, universe etc) highest vision for my life in 2020?

For me a word came into mind almost instantly. See what comes up for you. And then listen to it and take a step towards it.

I am a practitioner of Holographic Kinetics, a powerful healing modality based on Dreamtime Healing of the aboriginal people of Australia and I personally highly recommend it for clearing a poverty mindset and childhood trauma. It’s been so powerful for me that I plan to go have a session as soon as I can to clear some more things. You can read more at www.holographickinetics.com and see if there is a practitioner near you.

Lastly, know that those of us who are older than you don’t have the answers. Only you have the answers you seek. Ignore the outside voices and inner voice telling you what you “should” do and listen and feel into what you think you’d be really excited to do! The world is changing. The way things have been done are not the way they are anymore. Follow your joy! Follow your passion! Follow your own intuition and take a leap and ENJOY THE RIDE! You’re only a new college graduate once! Live it up!”

College Graduate: “Thank you so much for your kind words! It means so much & appreciate you taking the time and everything you’ve posted!

Thank you for the link as well, I’ve seen some of your posts mentioning it but thought I was too far for all of these practices that I see on IG in general. I read through the list and someone is near me! I’m going to look more into it and reach out to (practitioner name) 🙂

And I agree the world is changing, I’ve heard how many of the more creative fields will actually come back in demand, which is really nice (since I was lead to believe my degree was pointless)

However, it’s sometimes hard for me to distinguish which voice is which, how do you know when it’s your intuition speaking? (& not ur ego/ socialization)”

Me: “I wouldn’t worry about what ‘they’ say about any field. It doesn’t really matter. You just need to find the thing you’re most passionate about at any given time and do that! Success is inner peace, not the outside rewards like you’ve been taught.

Your spirit speaks to you through your intuition. Choosing based on live instead of fear can help you tap into it. As can following your joy and doing what you feel called to do even when the outside is telling you differently. Your intuition won’t ‘should’ you and make you feel guilty for things. It won’t talk negatively to you or get you to compare yourself to others. Your spirit/intuition is much more quiet at first than your ego. But as you learn to quiet your mind (meditation is great!) and follow your intuition, it’ll get stronger and you’ll trust it more once you realize it always leads you to amazing people, opportunities, and situations. Learn to observe your thoughts and actions and question everything that you think, especially when it’s making you feel bad.

I don’t know if this is something you’d enjoy, but find a way to travel somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. Travel does so much for our self discovery. I assume you don’t have much responsibility yet, so now is the time to do the fun things. Jobs will be there when you get back and you’ll have a better sense of what you want to do. Have fun!!!”

College Graduate: “I was so worried about not wanting to play the game without direction, working for someone and all that, and was considering living in a hippie commune. I thought about what I actually like to do, writing & reading- I’ve always liked it, it’s a hobby of mine, it’s a “tool” I honed in college. I want to be a writer, and you’re right no one else could have told me that. I really had to purge all my stress to really see deep down. These answers lie within. Lies within our patterns, what we liked doing as kids, what we liked (but may have suppressed) now. I want to thank you again, your words sparked something in me after I really sat with them and my thoughts. This was all an abridged version of what I resolved but again, thank you. Much love ✨”

Me: “Oh this is so awesome to hear! I am so happy that you’ve found some answers for yourself. Your story and way of seeing the world is unique and you never know who can benefit from it. Write write write!!!! You are so welcome. Sending lots of love right back to you! Never lose your passion! Never stop following your own inner guidance! You are the only you and no one else can tell you how to live your best life. I hope you have a fantastic day!! ❤️”

Ripples people. Ripples! I’ll end this with a quote from the book “The Vortex” by Esther and Jerry Hicks:

“Most of the guidance, rules, and laws that are passed down from generation to generation are written by people who are not in the state of “allowing” their Connection with their Broader knowledge. In other words, the majority of the guidance that is thrust upon you has come from a perspective of lack, and it cannot lead you to an improved situation.”

Thank you for reading along! If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG or FB for more inspirational content. Sending you all so much love!

As I closed this post out, I had these lyrics for Digable Planets “Escapism (Gettin’ Free) (listen HERE!) pop into my head:

“Get free, get free y’all
Get free, get free y’all
Get free, get free y’all
Get free, get free y’all”

It’s time we all get FREE! How? Alignment with our own spirits!

Unity Consciousness

In alignment with my own spirit, I personally have ZERO interest in being involved in the “feminist movement”. I have felt for so long now the key to positive change is about creating the safe space for men and women to step fully into their power and their own alignment and support each other as we step out of our programming that seeks to separate us. I am personally called to be a bridge and hold space for men as they learn to be more open, and vulnerable as they work towards getting in touch with their emotions. We are not meant to be separated. We need, now more than ever, to come together so that we can ALL rise up. Realize that the patriarchy has men trapped in a system that generally isn’t healthy for them either. Regardless of what they appear to have gained from it, realize that they have also lost much, including their alignment with their own spirit and the ability for real connection. The men and women who have stepped out of the system are the ones who are healing each other on this journey. Over time, it will make way for all of the men and women to show up authentically and healed TOGETHER. The system has sought to separate us. My spirit tells me that any movement that still holds us in separation is not the way towards inclusive and lasting shifts and healing.

Trauma

An event is traumatic, because it causes us to decide something about ourselves or about life that we then create from ever after. In the moment of a traumatic event, we lock in beliefs that life then continues to prove true, since what we believe we experience. The event can cause a lot of pain and suffering in the moment, but it’s our continual reliving of the beliefs we acquired through it that truly cause us to suffer over and over again.

It is my changed perspective about myself and life that continues to shape my experience, not the original traumatic event itself. We are powerful creators, so if something makes us decide at some point at conception or beyond that we are not worthy of love, then we will create situations and relationships over and over again to prove that belief. I had that cycle repeating in my own life. Luckily, through my personal sessions of Holographic Kinetics, I was able to clear that belief at the spirit level, so I no longer have to carry it around to have it surface time and again in this life and future lives. Phew!

So much of what we come to know about ourselves and the world is taught to us within a system that places more value on our physical reality than on the fact that we are all spiritual beings having a temporary human experience. Our multidimensionality and that of the universe tends to be completely overlooked. So, a lot of spiritual information then doesn’t tend to fit neatly into the confines of what we’ve been taught our whole lives. This leads to major disconnect and feelings of dis-ease. We begin bottling up the things we think or feel that don’t fit with what we’ve been told by our families, teachers, friends, and the organizations to which we belong (Wow, organizations we belong to, think on that for a minute. I personally don’t want to ‘belong’ to any organization). We sometimes label these things as “wrong”, or have the people we open up to do it for us. The reality is that usually the discourse we feel is because our own inner knowing doesn’t match up with what we’re being told/taught. I have learned to always trust the inner knowing above everything else. We have all of the answers we seek inside of us.

The reality is that the world we live in is nothing as it seems. We have been taught to place so much importance on the outer world and things out of our control that we’ve lost sight of the fact that WE are the ones that can free and heal ourselves. To take our power back means to stop giving it away to others. We’ve got to snap out of victim-mode ASAP. There is no one else to blame if we continue to relive our traumas and not do the work to get out of the cycle of similarity we’ve become trapped in by our own beliefs. I’m not saying it’s easy, but I am saying it’s necessary if we want to finally start listening to the nudges of our spirits and break free from old patterns and programming, so that we can get on with living our best lives.

I have done a lot of inner work. I keep being guided deeper and deeper to clear more and more from my past. We are so powerful that we can set intentions and tell our spirits what we want, and then notice that we will be guided to the people, situations, and resources to help us. How many of you set an intention to level up and/or clear out what was no longer serving you and have experienced people and situations clearing out of your life in record speeds this year? We asked for all of it. Right now, I am being urged to drive several hours away to the nearest practitioner to have another Holographic Kinetics session. As I’ve cleared issues on my own, and through HK, other issues have moved to the surface as the next important parts in need of healing. Remember, the growth and healing doesn’t stop until we die. But, in my own experience, it does stop feeling so severe, because I can more easily recognize what is happening. If you are being guided to a specific type of healing, I urge you to follow it. When I have done that, I have found another piece of the puzzle that helped me on my path back to my innate well-being.

Several years ago, I was sick of being depressed. I wasn’t actively depressed when I decided this, but I was suffering greatly. My thoughts about my situation were primarily negative and I felt stuck in a life that I didn’t feel I had chosen for myself. As I dug myself out of those beliefs, I began to see some light at the end of the tunnel. I realized that it wasn’t really my outer experience causing me to suffer, but my belief about it! This was huge! I remember getting very annoyed with a woman I worked with for a time when she’d say that things were the way they were supposed to be, because that’s what was happening. How easy is it to think that everything is happening for a reason when we’re enjoying life?! Not so much, it seems, when we’re unhappy with our lives. But, it’s important to realize that we can’t think that things are happening as they are meant to in some cases AND believe that we’re victims of circumstance in others. It doesn’t work that way. Because there is so much more to this life, we do not always consciously know what energy is being balanced out by a situation, or what lessons a person’s spirit is wanting them to learn. We’ve got to stay in our own lanes of being and focus on our own growth.

That being said, we are often stuck in time and repeating cycles of similarity. One way to work through this is to become aware of the dynamic happening and then ask ourselves what our role in it has been. When we take responsibility for our lives in this way, positive shifts happen because we take back our power. Standing in our own power and our own innate sense of knowing moves us towards alignment with our own spirit. An example in my own life is that it doesn’t serve my highest good to complain about a past relationship with a narcissist. Even labeling the person that way isn’t helpful for me, though it is helpful in reaching the people who need this message. What helps me is to see the role I played in that relationship. What led me to it? I fully recognize that I knowingly gave up my power at the start of it. I had been in a relationship where I made so many of the decisions and I was tired of it. I was excited to spend time with someone who liked to plan our time together. Suddenly, I wasn’t the one planning all of the hikes. It felt like a relief to not make the decisions for a while. But then that led into giving my power away about other things. Next thing I knew, I no longer felt in control of my own life. But it started with ME. Realizing that has allowed me to become aware of and see the parts of me that were drawn to that relationship. I’ve then been able to work towards a much deeper level of healing from that place of awareness.

As much as we like to think that we know where an issue originated, in my sessions of Holographic Kinetics, I have been shown time and again that often, we are not actually consciously aware of the cause. Many times, a trauma in childhood merely activates an issue that spirit has been carrying through from lifetimes ago. Or, from a trauma that a grandfather or great grandmother locked in at the spirit level and began passing down to future generations. As we are spiritual beings first, our issues don’t always originate in this lifetime. It is our minds that will try and connect an issue to an event that we can consciously remember in an attempt to make sense of it. Sometimes, trauma happens as a result of something our parents say or do when we are in the womb, or when we are little babies less than a year old. Just the same, we lock in beliefs about ourselves or life in those moments, and begin to unconsciously create our reality from them.

In the Holographic Kinetics sessions that I do, I have witnessed a person’s spirit take them back to a point just after conception (yes, in their Mother’s womb) many times as it finds the cause of the first activation or creation of an issue in this lifetime. How is that possible? How can we be aware of anything when we have barely been conceived? It is because we are spirits first and foremost. As the aboriginal people explain it, our spirit is what is with us through this life as well as through all of our past lives. Our spirit is aware of the cause of ALL of the issues that are holding us back in this life. Holographic Kinetics allows us to communicate with our spirit and help it change the past in the present for the future.

You see, our spirits do not wish to relive the same lesson and limiting pattern over and over again. No, our spirits yearn to be free, so that they can experience the full range of creation in this life. This is why we have all been feeling so called to clear our old issues and baggage that we’ve possibly been carrying around for many lifetimes. Our spirits are guiding us to the changes we need to make in order to break free from the self-imposed/accepted limitations we’ve allowed for far too long. We can heal ourselves by listening to our spirits/higher selves/intuition. Our spirit knows what we need in order to thrive in this life. When we listen to that inner guidance/knowing, we are naturally led into alignment with our own spirit which is the place from which everything we seek is possible.

I urge you to begin to follow your intuition about everything. How do you know it’s your intuition and not your old patterns speaking? The inspired ideas you get from your spirit will leave you feeling excited. The guidance will be to things that make you feel good. In fact following your joy and what feels good to you is another way to align with your spirit. As you follow the guidance from your spirit/intuition, your ability to do so will strengthen. Over time, it will become second nature and you will come to trust it more. I have a way of asking for guidance from my own spirit that gives me answers based on the feeling I get in my body.

We all have the power to heal our trauma, so that it stops causing us to repeat the same cycles over and over. The answers to that healing really lie within each of us. We are all drawn to what we need, when we need it. I was drawn to numerous healing modalities before being pulled in a big way to Holographic Kinetics. It was all important, because it all led me to an expanded awareness and deeper healing. It’s like each thing allowed for wellness, so I’d be ready for the next level of healing. My healing didn’t happen all at once, or through only one modality. It’s as if I was being groomed to be able to wrap my head around the healing at the spirit level. I experienced such profound healing of my past wounds through Holographic Kinetics, and I continue to be amazed (not surprised) by the ways that I see it help my clients or friends afar who go to practitioners near them. I have witnessed it shift a friend out of severe suicidal thoughts and back into their previous excitement about the year to come immediately following their first Holographic Kinetics session. I will be speaking about this at a Mental Health and Mindfulness focused Visalia Talks and Wine in January, so stay tuned.

Mindfulness isn’t just about being present in our moments and grateful for what we have, it’s about developing a conscious awareness of the beliefs we have that are holding us back. In Holographic Kinetics, when we find the cause of an issue, our spirit is able to change that dimension of time, so that we break free from the beliefs about ourselves that continue to re-traumatize us through time on all levels and all dimensions.

If you’d like more information about Holographic Kinetics, email me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com. Check out my testimonials page at the top of this blog for feedback from a few of my clients. I am also happy to speak on any of the topics I cover in this blog at events or organizations who are interested in learning more. Email me with inquiries.

Thank you for reading along! If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG/FB for more inspirational posts. Sending you all so much love!

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Highest Good

“I recognize that I have chosen fear, and I choose again. I choose love.”

“Instead of praying for an outcome, I pray for the highest good for all.”

I pulled these cards on Sunday morning when I asked for a message that I/the collective needed to hear.

I didn’t always realize I was making big decisions from a place of fear. But once it was brought to my attention, I could see fear behind nearly everything I had done. Choosing out of fear can look like moving away from home to go far away from family for college, because you were afraid that you’d never otherwise find a way out of the town you grew up in. It can look like hanging onto a relationship or allowing it to get more serious, because you’re afraid that you’ll otherwise lose the person completely. It can look like staying in a job that’s negatively affecting your health (mind, body, and/or spirit), because you’re afraid that no other work exists that would allow you to pay all of your bills. Are you making choices out of fear?

Awareness is KEY to all change. Until we know the part we’re playing in the life that we’re creating, we can’t change what we’re doing. From that new awareness, I decided to start making decisions from a place of love. So, when something comes up, I examine my decision to see if I’m choosing based on fear or love. If it’s fear, I recognize it and make a different choice that’s love-based.

I don’t pray. I don’t depend on things outside of myself anymore. Prior to Holographic Kinetics, I was praying to spirit guides and arc angels. Since my training, I’ve realized my power in alignment with my spirit. I ask only my own spirit for guidance. I do not wish to risk calling in anything in other dimensions that only wish to control me and to create the energy they need to survive. Yes that’s a thing. Holographic Kinetics can clear these types of interferences, but I’d rather stand in my own power by consciously not creating more issues I need to then have another HK Practitioner clear from my field. Knowing the Laws of LORE (Universal Laws vs human-made laws) helps me to live in a way in which I don’t give my power away to outside things and create energy that I’ll have to balance later in this life or in future lives. I’ve owned my role as the powerful creator of my life.

Knowing that the how and what of what I’ve asked for in the past has ended up even better than I imagined, I release expectations and my own limits by always asking for what is in my highest good and the highest good of others. If I ask my spirit for something, I like to follow it by “or something better”.

It’s not up to us to “fix” people. We each will balance the energy we create out in this lifetime or future lifetimes. And what you have to balance out is none of my business and not for me to know. But realize your power as a creator and part of infinite consciousness itself. Everything we experience in life was created by us at some point in time. As linear time as we know it is just a human construct, everything that is happening now has happened before and will happen in the future, as it is all really happening right NOW. It’s up to us to recognize if what we’re creating is making us happy or not. We’ve got to ask ourselves if we’re satisfied with our lives. Are we living our best lives? Are we following our dreams? Is there something we can do to shift things?

Realize that you have had the power all along to make your choices from a place of love. Following your joy is a start. Does an idea light you up and leave you sleepless at night with excitement? FOLLOW IT!!! Likewise, is something in your life causing your stomach to knot up with anxiety and a sense of discontent? If so, take one action to free yourself from that thing. It could mean reading a book about a topic you’re interested in or taking a class or getting trained in something you’ve been dreaming about. You don’t have to leap off a cliff so to speak to change your life, but you do need to become an empowered creator and take inspired action when you’re being nudged by your higher self.

I’ve experienced first-hand what happens when we stay in situations that we know aren’t serving our highest good. For me, I lost my health and almost died, and boy did that make me start listening to my higher self! Then when my job in the hospital began to negatively affect my health, I saw the warning signs before it got too bad and I quit. If we don’t listen to the whispers of our inner knowing/intuition/spirit and take action, the universe takes action for us.

When we cast a thought out into the world that we want to live our best life, follow our purpose, or be more fulfill in life etc, the universe answers the call. We can make decisions for ourselves to move us towards things that will serve our highest good, or we can wait and ponder and suffer, and then have things removed from our life for us.

I can’t tell you how many people I’ve talked to lately who have lost jobs, been forced to move out of their houses, have lost their health, or relationships! These are all ways that our spirits up level us in this life, though in the thick of it, it feels more like a destruction. In times like that, the easy way to be is to fall into victim mode by saying “why me?” Why not you? Have you been living your best life? Have you been putting your own well-being and peace and happiness first? Have you been listening to your intuition?

Sometimes humans live with the notion that life is meant to be easy. We wrongly judge our insides to other people’s outsides and think that they’re doing something better than us. That they’re not struggling as much as we are, and we can sink into feeling less than or like we’re doing life wrong. But we’re not. We’re just living lives as spirits having human experiences. We come to this life to learn lessons and balance our energy, and to experience as much as we can as powerful creators. If life was a cake walk, we would not learn as much. It’s not meant to be a cake walk, but it doesn’t have to be a miserable slog of suffering either.

It’s about shifting perspective and recognizing that if we’re creating our reality then we have the ability to create one that we love. Realize that we never have to just “suck it up” and endure life. We can shift so that we view life with a sense of curiosity rather than a sense of dread and apathy.

Life is what we make it and while our minds and egos are always filling in the blanks based on what we’ve experienced in the past, our spirits are infinite and can guide us from the patterns that we’ve been creating so far.

I have healed a lot on my own (yes even my physical health) by listening to my intuition and making changes to my life. For example, once I had made the decision to leave my marriage, my health shifted so much without changing anything else I was doing. My entire medication regimen was the same, what I was doing was the same. Even my husband was surprised by the changes happening to me before my eyes. This isn’t about him though, this is about me. I wasn’t a victim, I was choosing where to be. I was meant to learn from the experience and I did. All of that allowed me to be acutely aware of when it was happening again, when I had been staying in something that was no longer serving me and I needed to make a change. Each thing we go through has purpose and a cause. In my experience, absolutely nothing is by chance. It’s leading us, sometimes with breadcrumbs to what we need to know for a future time.

Trust your journey, and know that you and no one else has the ability to change your life. You change your life by changing your thoughts, words, actions, and deeds. What do you want to create? What’s stopping you?

IThank you so much for reading along. If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it with someone who might benefit from reading it. Follow me on IG or FB for other inspirational content. Sending you all so much love!

Trust Energy and Yourself

I realized at one point that most relationships I had gotten myself into were the result of the other person being into me, and me riding that wave. Next thing I knew, I was in a relationship that looking back, I sometimes don’t understand how it progressed so far, so rapidly. It can be so easy to get swept up by things and people outside of ourselves. The key is to cultivate an inner awareness and knowing that we learn to depend on. That way, we stay in our truth as we move through the world.

In my alignment with my own spirit, I am hyper aware of people’s energy. I can tell by a picture or a few messages from a person what kind of energy they’re bringing to the table. I’ve learned to trust people’s energy emphatically. It takes a lot of the guess work out of who I want to spend my time with, which then saves us all time. I no longer get myself into relationships with people based on their feelings for me. Instead, I pay attention to the energy between us.

As I’ve gotten better about staying true to myself and expressing myself more authentically, I have found that my energy is like a magnet. Often, people want to be around me. If I go on a date with someone, they always want more time with me. This isn’t an ego thing, it’s an energy thing. When people are living in their alignment, they understand that our energy is what is drawing us together. For people who aren’t yet aware of this invisible force, in my energy field, they’ll automatically think that we have a special connection unlike any other. But in alignment with my spirit, I am able to deeply connect with nearly everyone who crosses my path. I have long, interesting conversations frequently with a variety of people. I highly appreciate all of the connections I make with people. But I recognize that because most people aren’t living in alignment with their spirit, it’s up to me to be discerning about taking a relationship to the next level.

As humans, we can get so caught up in physical attraction, or the fact that someone is giving us positive attention that we can get ourselves into situations that aren’t always healthy for us. We’ve got to pay attention to how a person’s energy makes us feel. Are we excited when they text to hang out with us or do we find ourselves trying to come up with excuses to get out of it? Do we feel excitement and happiness or a sense of dread? We can also pay attention to feelings in our bodies when we say a person’s name. Do we feel light or heavy? Do we smile with happiness or feel a knot form in our stomach?

We are energetic beings living in an energetic world. We’ve all had the experience where a person’s looks, outward persona, and words were saying one thing, but their energy was giving off a completely different message. My old self bought into those things. If we want to go to the next level, we’ve got to place more importance on a person’s energy and how they make us feel rather than other outside things like their interest in us, their looks or financial stability. I have come to find that energy never lies, regardless of how smooth the person speaks. I even had the experience once where a person’s energy felt really off. I felt really uncomfortable about it, but couldn’t place my finger on why. A friend was insisting that I explain what the person was doing to make me feel that way, and all I could say was “nothing in particular, their energy isn’t matching their words.” Just after I had said those words, my friend was getting money out of an ATM, and I checked IG. The first thing in my feed read something like “if something feels off about a person or situation, it is. Trust your intuition. Energy doesn’t lie.” Messages from the universe don’t get more direct than that friends! It provided me with a little extra confirmation and I never hung out with that person again.

We’ve got to stop doubting ourselves, the energy we sense about situations and people, and the inspired ideas that are coming to us. We need to stop ignoring the signs and red flags. We never have to know or have proof beyond how something is making us feel. I don’t like the taste of coffee, and I’ve been told time and again how coffee is an acquired taste. People say how they didn’t like it at first, but now they love it. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just not how I’m choosing to live my life. Sure I’ll do it with vegetables, because I know they’re good for me. But I’m not trying to acquire a taste for coffee, or beer, or a connection with someone where I sense something off about their energy. It’s just not needed in this day and age. We don’t have to acquire a taste for relating with someone who’s presence does not add goodness to our lives. There are plenty of other things I enjoy drinking, and there are over 7 billion people in the world to connect with. There’s no need to latch onto and cling to situations or people that don’t make us feel good, because there is a plethora of situations and people who will better match our energy and intentions.

We just need to slow down and get really good about paying attention to how things make us feel. We then follow the good feelings and nudges from our spirit (our intuition). The more we learn to quiet our minds and listen to the whisper of our intuition, the stronger our intuition becomes. In doing so, we move beyond the conditioning from our past, and line ourselves up with the best that life has to offer.

Thank you for reading along, and to the_higher_self on IG for this post. Follow me on IG and FB for more inspirational content.

Sending you all so much love!

Jammie

I LOVE YOU!

I do this ALL THE TIME!! I’ll have the most amazing conversation with someone, and I think I LOVE YOU! A friend will tell me about an act of kindness they felt moved to do, and I think I LOVE YOU! I get encouraging messages from people who are supportive of what I’m doing, and I think I LOVE YOU! I see people dancing like crazy, and I think I LOVE YOU! I see friends who are changing our community for the better, and I think I LOVE YOU! I hear joy in someone’s voice or through their messages about something they’re really excited about, and I think I LOVE YOU! I connected with someone in a hug where our energy just resonated and we were both feeling the positive energy, and I think yes, more connections like this please, I LOVE YOU! The list goes on and on! I always end up with amazing people in my life and on my path and generally if we’ve connected in a deep way, you can be sure that I’ve thought this about you before too! I’ve got love for you too, the reader of this post! I appreciate that you spend some of your precious time reading my words! I’ve got so much love for people and this world!

This way of being isn’t generally taught to us. We’re taught to reserve love for our families and close friends. As a rule, we hold back a lot when it comes to love. We don’t always speak it even when we feel it. We’re made to feel that love is reserved for a romantic relationship that’s ‘going somewhere’, and usually we’re shy about being the first one to speak it for fear of rejection. We’re taught that people must earn our love. Don’t give love freely, because people will take advantage. Don’t tell them first. Never after a first date. Maybe after 1 year. You don’t want to scare them off. You don’t want to come off like you love every person you date. You don’t want to be too easy. You shouldn’t make the first move. Can you relate? So many silent rules about love. You ever wonder why we’re following so many rules? I’m at a point where I’m done with the old rules that have been holding me back from my true expression!

I told people I’ve gone on a few dates with that I loved them. Just loved them as a human and for the role they were playing in my life, the joy they were adding. They’ve told me back. Did it surprise them? Probably. I don’t know. It didn’t really matter. I’ve learned in general that if I feel called to say something to someone, I say it. Often we are messengers for each other. This is the way we find our tribe too, by stepping out of our comfort zones to introduce ourself because we just feel like we’re meant to know a person. We don’t have to know the why, we just have to follow that inspired action.

On the other hand, when I knew someone I was dating was afraid of love, I held my words in to keep him comfortable for maybe 6 months or a year. I felt like my chest might explode if I kept it up so I spoke it. It became stifling. It was such a beautiful moment of truth for me when I told him. It felt very sweet and genuine. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t loving someone to get it back. I didn’t need love from him to be OK. I loved him for him and all of the moments we had shared. He didn’t say it back, but that’s never the point, or shouldn’t be. I knew he wouldn’t and I felt better to say it to speak my truth than to keep him comfortable at my sake. He thanked me. I can still remember the way the sun during the golden hour was lighting up his face. I felt so connected and in the flow with life and my own spirit in that moment.

In this life, the more aligned you become with your spirit, the more love you have for yourself and others. The world needs more love. I feel and think love for others A LOT, but generally say it less. Sometimes it feels like people are closed to hearing it, so I say it in my head or maybe out loud to myself after they leave, we hang up, or we end our messages. I think my head tells me that I might freak people out if I tell them I love them. I also don’t want to add confusion since most people learned all of the same things I mentioned above, and might interpret it differently than I mean it. But really, what bad can come from telling a person that we love them? They leave? If so, they just aren’t ready for the kind of love we’re bringing to life these days. That’s OK, and it shouldn’t stop us from love. I work to be more open-hearted with love while maintaining boundaries. I’m getting braver all the time. I used to have a hard time loving people and found myself feeling more loving towards animals. But, I can seriously say that I love people now! I love their raw humanness. I love their ‘flaws’. I love their unique quirks. I love seeing them smile and laugh. I love seeing them open up and cry. And I love the feeling I get when I share an experience with someone and think I LOVE YOU!❤️

I gotta read this book already! Everything I’ve seen come from it resonates so deeply with my spirit!

Thank you for reading along! If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it! Follow me on IG for more positive content. Sending you all so much love!

Reposted picture from @donmiguelruiz. Seven Secrets to Healthy, Happy Relationships, a NEW BOOK from Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. and Heather Ash Amara, published by Hierophant Publishing!