The Nothing

Falcor Art by my friend, Nellie.
IG: ohmy_jelly

Movies can hold a lot of truths if we look and listen for them. I was only 5 years old when the movie “The Neverending Story” came out, but I remember watching it a lot with my sisters when we were growing up. I missed the lines spoken by the wolf character, Gmork, until last night when my son and I watched it again.

The Neverending Story

“GMORK— People have begun to lose their hopes and forget their dreams, so the nothing grows stronger.

ATREYU — What is the nothing?

GMORK — It’s the emptiness that’s left. It is like a despair destroying this world and I have been trying to help it.

ATREYU — But why?

GMORK — Because people who have no hopes are easy to control. And whoever has the control, has the power.

ATREYU — Who are you really?

GMORK — I am the servant of the power behind the nothing. I was sent to kill the only one who could have stopped the nothing.”

We have a nothing that’s been sweeping our world. Our lack of self-love and love for others is the root cause. The manufactured fear that we’re fed through the program reinforces all of the shame, doubts, and insecurities that we carry with us about ourselves and life. Our feelings of nothingness manifest as a void that we are then made to believe can be filled with things outside of ourselves. We buy the new gadgets and we yearn for the new homes and cars and and and, but we still find ourselves feeling like something is missing. We are missing love for ourselves and life. We have lost hope and have forgotten our dreams. We wake up, drive to work, punch in, work all day possibly doing things we don’t enjoy or possible hate, we have lackluster relationships with coworkers because we’re generally unhappy and disconnected from ourselves and we connect with them through complaining and gossip (neither of which leave us feeling good), we go home, eat dinner, maybe spend a little time with friends and/or family, then go to bed. We rinse and repeat this schedule day in and day out until we get to the weekend. Then, we do the work at home that we neglected during the week. Rinse and repeat. Or we live for the fun we have on weekends, and therefore spend the other 5 days of the week wishing we were already at the only 2 days that we actually like. And there we are, wishing away an average of 20 days a month, 240 days a year. In a 30 year career, a person who works the typical schedule of 5 days a week with weekends off may wish away 7,200 days! Yes, THOUSANDS of days spent pining for Saturday and Sunday.

People lose their hope and ignore their dreams and they fall into an energetic trap where they feel stuck and disempowered in the situations and relationships they find themselves in. They forget that nothing is permanent and that CHANGE IS THE ONLY CONSTANT in this reality. They forget that they are the ones that hold the key to their own happiness and satisfaction. We’ve been taught to seek validation and fulfillment from things outside of ourselves. But, everything is an inside job. Everything from our internal world is always being reflected back to us from our external reality. Our thoughts are always creating our reality, often subconsciously though we do have the ability to shift our focus and create our lives consciously.

So what can be done about the nothing, the void? How do we step back into our power and send the nothing packing? We start by remembering who we are- spiritual beings having a human experience, infinite consciousness in human form. We don’t get lost in the program that has us feeling miserable and hopeless. Yes even when we’re made to think that the misery is coming from particular political parties, groups, people or states of the world. In the end, it’s all played out the way that it is to stir the anger, hate, separation of the nothing, because there are powers behind the nothing that feed off of our negative energy. To them, it’s about maintaining a food supply. But the program tries to tell us that it’s about what one person said or another did. In truth, love, compassion, and togetherness is how we prevent the nothing from destroying our world. This comes in self-love and acceptance. This comes in unity. This comes in seeing the divinity of every human, including ourselves, and our apparent worst enemies. It doesn’t mean we have to hang out with people whose energy doesn’t resonate with ours, but we can choose to not direct any energy their way. This comes in seeing, really seeing, the parts of the program that are meant to keep us living small lives and generating more negative emotions. Our awareness is our superpower. Our ability to observe and not react to everything as well as to recognize our ability to control where we direct our vital life force energy are all part of our superpowers.

We recognize the power of our minds and therefore our thoughts. As energetic beings who have the power to create anything we can imagine, we’ve got to start focusing on WHAT WE WANT and not on what we don’t want. I’m not saying that we don’t need to allow ourselves to feel every emotion as it arises and then allow it to pass. I’m saying that we get to choose what we allow to disrupt our inner peace. My inner peace is everything, so if something in my life disrupts it, I change things and make new choices. We get to choose what we pay attention to. We can focus on solutions or problems. We get to decide where our energy will go and therefore what we will cause to grow.

We start living more authentically, and we learn to accept and love ourselves just as we are. From there, we follow our joy. We find reasons to smile and enjoy life every day, not just on the weekends that only take up 2 of 7 days a week. We realize that following our joy is actually the point of this life and in following our joy, we inspire others to follow theirs as well.

If you get nothing else from my blog, please know this….we are powerful beyond measure when we recognize that our uniqueness is our gift and that following our joy and intuition and aligning with our spirit is what we are here to do. Alignment feels AMAZING, and puts us on a trajectory to fulfill our purpose! Everything begins to fall into place from there — the right people, situations, and opportunities. We have to take inspired action on the guidance we receive. Our purpose is going to be something that lifts us up while helping to shift people and the planet into a new awareness and increased expansion.

Some of us have chosen to be the guinea pigs in this lifetime. We’re testing the boundaries by taking leaps of faith and living outside of the status quo and our comfort zones. We’re testing all that’s possible for us and humanity. We’re forging a new path and paving it, so others may follow. What we learn from living life as a giant trust experiment, we can then use to show others examples of what’s possible. It’s the path that I’m currently on. I am grateful to be alive during this pivotal time when so much is shifting. It’s not by accident or coincidence as nothing is. We all have a reason for being here. Each of us is needed.

Life is what we make it. If you want to feel hopeless then focus on every situation that creates those feelings within you every day. But if you want to feel empowered, then think empowering thoughts, feed yourself empowering food for your mind, and start getting comfortable in your own skin in your complete authenticity. We don’t have time to be wishy washy about it. We have to start choosing the better thoughts, telling ourselves the version of the stories that takes us out of the victim and complainer mode. We’ve got to take back our energy and learn to use it wisely. We have to realize the importance of following our dreams if we want more happiness in our lives and the world. When we remember our power and follow our dreams, we cannot be controlled. It’s up to each of us to stand up for ourselves in our own lives if we want to defeat the nothing. We’re much more powerful as a group. It’s time we all rise up!

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Sending you all so much love!

Jammie

Focus Your Energy on Your Own Alignment!

YESSSSSS!!! It has taken me most of my life so far to get to this point. But I’d say I’m finally here.

When I was younger, I loved debating with people. It challenged my mind and I enjoyed hearing both sides and making a case for the side I believed in. I remember writing papers in my high school Environmental Science class where we’d select a topic and choose a side to support while also representing both sides. I had a lot of really strong opinions about things like the importance of recycling and the destruction being caused by mountain top removal for coal mining in my own state.

I also had a bleeding heart, for everything. I saw so much heartache in the world and so much destruction to the environment and the plants and animals within it. It affected me deeply. That led me to my first career in wildlife/fisheries field biology. I worked on projects that gave a voice to the animals that couldn’t speak for themselves. I wanted to ‘save the environment’. I volunteered at a kill animal shelter on Saturdays in high school. This led me to my years of preferring animals to people. People seemed generally cruel and heartless. Many did whatever they pleased without ever considering their impact on anyone or anything else. So I set out to make changes. I became a vegetarian and even joined PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) at one point. I took on the heartbreak in the world as my own. I was empathetic to a point of self-sacrifice. Of course I didn’t know that at the time. After all, I thought I was ‘doing the right thing’ by caring so much.

It’s not that caring is a bad thing. It’s good to have a caring heart and respect for all of creation. What’s not helpful is this bleeding heart mentality. Why? Because it usually has us directing our energy towards what we don’t want as opposed to what we do. Sometimes it sucks our energy right out of us to a point of negative thinking about life and the world and of apathy. It can make us feel hopeless, better able to find problems in the world than solutions. And the more you pay attention, the more negative things to worry about in the world come into focus.

For starters, we have to wake up to the fact that many things in this world are being created to get us up in arms, to get us to live in negativity, anger, apathy, and fear. It’s part of the design of this program we’re being fed. Of course I’m always speaking from the view of my own lens which stems from views as I see them from California in the United States. Notice how nearly every year, a new disease emerges that we’re supposed to be afraid of. Like clockwork in the Fall, something new is rolled out. Ebola, West Nile, swine flu, etc etc. A lot of the time, the campaign will be for a new vaccine we’re supposed to then get, poisonous spray we’re supposed to use on ourselves, and/or for decreased travel in the world because of the imminent danger we will face. Big Pharma is always happy to provide the new vaccine, the sprays, and the medications. The fear energy created provides the needed negative energy for various things behind the power schemes. Keeping us feeling like small, powerless, victims keeps us locked into the low vibration energy prison that I’ve written about before.

Less travel means that there’s less of a chance that people will see that people the world over are just HUMAN like them. The expanded awareness that stems from travel does not bode well for a government who wants to keep war going and supported by its citizens. After all, since we are all one, and every human is a member of my human family, why then would I support anything that put my family in harm’s way? Keep us afraid to travel, prevent us from expanding our awareness. Expanded awareness is key to this game if we want to live our best lives. So we should be highly skeptical of any paradigm that wants to limit our knowledge and therefore our power.

What I’ve come to learn is that we are all energetic beings. And despite what the program tries to throw at us, we each get to choose where we focus our energy. This matters greatly, because that which we focus our energy on grows. All spiritual teachers write about this dynamic. For instance if we want world peace, we have to focus on peace, vs being anti war. The Universe does not operate in negatives, so saying that we don’t want something or are against something is the same as saying we are FOR it. Our thoughts we think are the same as the words we speak as we are energetic beings first and foremost. Everything communicates in energy. This is why we pick up on one thing from a person as their words are saying another. We must learn to always trust the energy, because energy never lies. Our energy and intentions proceed us, and the most sensitive of us have learned how to sense them and respond to them over words we hear. The fact is that ALL humans can operate this way, it’s just that many are asleep to their innate abilities to do so.

It’s also imperative that we realize how things on the outside affect our energetic vibration. Our energetic vibration is EVERYTHING! The energy that we’re giving out is what we get back, always. Notice how when you have something that you don’t like happen, and you being to ruminate on it as a victim, that you then start drawing in other things that match your energy. For example, you get a flat tire, and then you lock yourself out of your house, and then you get rear ended. It’s not that ‘things always happen in three’s’, it’s that you dropped your energetic vibration after the first thing because you were so focused on playing a victim role and ruminating on all of the things you were unhappy about. You then ATTRACTED to you things of that same vibration. Knowing this, you come to find that when you sit around thinking about the environmental destruction, the current president, and the next disease of the day, you can feel your energy drop.

We cannot help anything without first helping ourselves. Helping ourselves looks like showing up as our authentic selves. It looks like following our intuition about EVERYTHING which means we do things like say no when we mean no, we don’t hang out with people who make us feel bad, and we don’t eat foods that wreck our stomachs once we realize they have that effect. We follow our joy as often as possible. We essentially do these things which leads us to align with our spirits. That’s the MOST important job we have on this planet today! ALIGN WITH OUR SPIRIT (higher self). When we are in alignment, we live at a different vibrational frequency which draws to us amazing people, situations, and opportunities. In that place, we notice how various things affect our energy, so we cut out things that lower our energy and increase the things that raise our energy.

In this way, rest is just as important as any other inspired action. Hustling at a detriment to our energy is out. People who exude negativity are out. News that glorifies only the atrocities in the world is out. Music that carries a negative message is out. Doing everything for everyone else without care to your own being is WAY OUT! If you’ve played that giver role long enough, then you’ve begun to see the physical effects of doing so…mystery illness, migraines, aches and pains, cancer etc.

The truth is that putting your needs first is NOT selfish. It’s needed. It’s the most needed because how we take care of ourselves directly determines our energy state. If we’re depleting ourselves in taking care of others, it will catch up with us eventually. When you do that, you’re essentially telling the source/god/universe that is you that you’re not important. All of your experiences will then reflect this back to you. YOU AREN’T DOING ANYONE ANY FAVORS BY PLACING THEIR OXYGEN MASK ON BEFORE YOUR OWN. Really internalize that. You will be of no real service to others if you’re giving from a place of taking care of others ahead of yourself. The reality is that your loved ones want you healthy so you’ll be around longer to enjoy time with them. Your partner needs you to fill your own bucket first, so that they can enjoy the overflow of unconditional love and exuberant energy that will be radiating from you. The world needs you in the same ways.

The sooner that you begin to view the love that you give to yourself as more important (or at least the beginning as JUST AS IMPORTANT) as the love that you give to others, the sooner your own life and therefore the world will benefit!

On my journey, I’ve come to understand that there is much to this multidimensional life and world than what we are taught, so I no longer think that I know anything definitively, nor am I interested in debating. I like to hear from all sides and I pay attention to what resonates at the spirit level, and the things that keep repeating in my reality. I’m more interested in doing my spirit’s part of the work here than taking on every problem in the world. I know that the way I contribute to the collective energy by expanding my awareness, standing in my power, and cultivating my alignment and therefore increased energetic vibration are the number one ways for me (and all of us) to shift our reality into one that I prefer more than the current. I place focus on things that lift me up and inspire me, because that’s how I keep my vibration up. I no longer give my energy away to causes that bring me down. I realize the power of my energy, and so I have become very intentional about where I focus it.

As Gregory Toole stated on Sunday in his message to those of us at the Center for Spiritual Living, if we can all internalize the fact that we are all one, all of the world’s problems would cease to exist. When we acknowledge that we are made of the same energy that runs through all living things, so are essentially the same, and all impact each other, we would stop wishing harm or causing harm to each other and the planet.

We are not helpless victims, we are extremely powerful creators. We each walk around with an energy that extends out much farther than the apparent edges of our current meat suits. We each have the ability and responsibility to direct that energy in a way that first uplifts ourselves, and then ripples out and uplifts others and the planet as a whole. Are you doing the intentional and intuitive work to keep your energy elevated? Are you focusing on what you want or what you don’t want to see more of in this world? Are you placing priority on aligning with your spirit or does your priority lie with listening to and following the whims of the outside world? These are the questions we need to be asking ourselves. The time is NOW.

Thank you for reading along. If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Consider following me on IG for more positive content.

If you’re looking for help in shifting your perspective and my words resonate with you, please email me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com. We can discuss the mindfulness coaching and education I do, as well as the Holographic Kinetics sessions that I perform. We have a few months left in 2019, so there is still time to clear our old ways of being to make way for the new coming in 2020.

Photo Reposted from @abrahamhickspublications 🙌❤️ Thank you!

Intuitive Eating

I’m seeing all of the posts about Nipsey Hussle’s death and the fact that he was working on a documentary exposing the natural healing work of Dr. Sebi. From what I have read, Dr. Sebi’s work, in part, was pointing us towards an alkaline, plant-based diet. It is known to be healing and is thought to prevent dis-eases such as cancer. The work of Dr. Sebi was known in the 1980’s. He had published that a cure for AIDS had been found after he had cured people with AIDS. He was taken to federal court and won.

People have to be told like a public service announcement that fruits and vegetables are the healthiest options for us. I think all too often, like most other things, people have shut off their intuition in exchange for following the crowd. This presents in food as fad diets. It seems like everyone is on some kind of specialized diet these days. But what if we’re meant to listen to our own bodies?

I have come to realize that the best way to eat is by following my intuition. Our intuition can be a guide for EVERYTHING! It’s like our own, personal, specialized system geared towards returning OUR body to it’s perfect state of wellness.

We get off track when we choose to ignore the way foods make us feel. When we eat something even though it makes us feel terrible, we are in fact ignoring messages from our bodies and our intuition. I think a decision based in self-love would be choosing to eat what makes us feel good, and gives us more energy and vitality. I get it, a lot of things sold at the grocery store and restaurants make us feel bad when we eat them, so then what DO we eat?!

In my experience over the last 8 months, I eat more fruits and vegetables. I’ve been led to a diet that is vegan, but I also don’t eat gluten or soy. I don’t drink alcohol. Why? Because I’ve noticed that I feel terrible after I eat/drink those things. I started paying attention to how everything I ate or drank made me feel. If something makes me feel good, I eat or drink more of it. If it makes me feel bad, I eliminate it. And what I am realizing is that I have been naturally led to a plant-based, alkaline diet.

When we ignore messages from our bodies, the messages get louder. I had noticed small things going on with my health long before my heart nearly failed. I didn’t realize they were happening because of something I was doing: ignoring my heart and intuition.

We can all learn to tap into and use our intuition to heal ourselves. It’s not easy work when you realize the work it’s going to take to finally face past traumas and trapped emotions in order to get healthy again, but the work is worth it. Our physical ailments usually don’t happen over night which means the patterns that got us there won’t change over night. But we CAN change them.

If we learn to follow our intuition, it strengthens and becomes easier to use. When we stop doing things that don’t feel good, we are putting our well-being first which is key to healing ourselves.

Our minds are very powerful, so we must also be mindful of what we are saying about the things we’re doing or eating/drinking. If we’re choosing to eat the dessert, it does us no good to talk and think about how bad it is for us the entire time we eat it. You’re essentially cursing the food you eat as opposed to blessing it. That food’s negative effects are then compounded. Whereas, when I go to the Sikh Temple and partake in Langar after worship, I am grateful for their sharing and I eat the flat bread offered. They bless their food during the entire time of worship and I set the intention that it will bless and nourish my body. It’s my exception for gluten during the week, and I notice I don’t have problems with it later. I believe there is a lot of power in blessing our food and water before we consume it.

Notice the difference in how you feel when you curse your food vs bless it. I have come to learn that our thoughts play a primary role in our wellness or dis-ease. Get quiet and pay attention to your thoughts about food. Pay attention to what your intuition and body are telling you to eat or avoid. You can heal yourself.❤️

Picture from post by the_enlighten_core on Instagram

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I Hope You Live Louder!

This is what I want for all of us: that we live louder and shine brighter! If you don’t know it yet, living a life 100% true to yourself, and in touch with your higher self, your spirit, is part of what is going to shift the energy humans are bringing to the planet. Being our authentic selves is a big key to healing ourselves and in turn, humankind and the planet. Learning to love ourselves and others unconditionally because we look at everyone with compassion for their human experience.

It sounds counterintuitive when we’ve grown up feeling the need to blend in, the need to be like everyone else so that we don’t get made fun of and rejected by our peers. We’ve been programmed to buy certain things so we can be a certain way. I get it. I’ve grown up with the same programs. I’ve been systematically working to break them down. Changing our thoughts is paramount to changing our lives and in turn, the world around us. How many of us live without peace of mind, yet wish we had peace on the planet? How many want to see others happy, but we are not doing the things that create joy in our lives? It all starts with us on the individual level.

Our lives shape us in a way that is completely unique to us, and it’s by design. Everything is by design to get us to wake up, to realize our limitless potential as powerful creators in this life. I would not be who I am today without EVERY SINGLE THING I’ve experienced.

For instance, I am a good writer, because I used to write letters to my friends and family all the time! I wrote when I went away to college and when I was working in remote camps studying wildlife.

I have such a grateful view of the world because I got so sick that I almost died.

I love my body so much, because even with everything that it has been through, it allows me to do the things I love like hike, swim, and dance. There was a time when I didn’t think I’d be able to do any of those things again.

I was able to create playlists for ecstatic dance with such a huge variety of musicians, because music is what I turned to in my darkest moments. It’s also because I got recommendations along my path as I moved around as a wildlife/fisheries field biologist for the better part of 10 years. Music has been my fuel.

I was such a compassionate nurse in the hospital, because I’ve been the patient for so many years. I know the things I needed to hear when I was scared and in the hospital, so I was able to speak those things to others.

I laugh loudly without a care for who might hear me, because I have spent many days alone sobbing hard and wishing my life would end.

I appreciate wild places extra, because I grew up watching in horror as local mountains were excavated to make way for mines and highways, and smokestacks from steel mills appeared to create the clouds.

These days, I am quick to speak the feelings I have for people, because I have lost many dear friends at young ages. I know that more time is never guaranteed to any of us.

The list goes on and on. Our lives shape us. There are things that make us uniquely who we are, and those are the things that we’re meant to strengthen and share with the world! None of us were created to live small, quiet lives! The world needs you to feel as comfortable as you can being your true authentic, and vulnerable self, so that you can do the work and help shift our reality in a way that only YOU can! Show up and get to shining! It’s time to spread your wings and fly! And it’s time for all of us to make room for each other by holding space of unconditional love and acceptance in our hearts. Nothing good comes from not accepting other people for being different than us, just as nothing good comes from us hiding our true selves from the world!

I can tell you from experience that the more you cultivate the love you have for yourself, the more you won’t care what other people think about you. The less you care about what other people think of you, the more fulfilling your life will become. The more fulfilling your life becomes, the brighter your light will shine. When your light is shining bright, you provide light in all of this darkness to light your way to living your spirit’s purpose, and to be a light for other people to find theirs.

The magic in my life happens when I’m acting as a lighthouse for others. I inspire you by following my joy and living a louder life. You in turn start following your joy and living a louder life. You inspire someone else. We create a ripple effect this way.

What kind of ripple are you currently creating with your life? Is it negative or positive? Are you complaining and gossiping all of the time, or are you living with gratitude and lifting others up with sincere compliments and unconditional love and acceptance?

The change we want to see in the world really does have to start with us. I want to live in a world where we care for each other like family, where we love and accept people for who they are, where everyone lives with equality and experiences the same opportunities, where we lift each other up and encourage each other to shine brighter every day! You’ve got this one life to live. Are you making it count?!

Thank you @tduckster for posting this today!

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Find me on Facebook and Instagram for more inspiration! Reach out to me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com if my words resonate with you, and you could use guidance to further align you with your spirit’s path. It’s my passion to help others live their best lives! Much love to you!

Listen to Matisyahu’s “Thunder” HERE

Why I Meditate

I began meditating in 2015. By this time, I had been through my health scare, divorce, and had been working as a Registered Nurse in the hospital for over 2 years. I had heard about meditation for years before I actually took note and put it into practice. In 2015, I partook in a “Simple Shift” group hosted by my Homeopath and friend, Torey Ivanic, that was made up of a group of women who were ready to create big change in our lives by shifting in some, small way. The “simple shift” I chose to commit to during this group was meditation. I downloaded the app, Insight Timer, on my phone, which kept track of my progress. I started with 5 minutes a day. Honestly, I’d do 2 minutes some days, 5 minutes others. Then, just after the group ended, I hit a very stressful time in my life.

I was struggling and needed a way to turn off the spiral of thoughts whirring through my mind about the situation. So I began meditating often as a way to positively cope with the turmoil I was experiencing. As I would feel the anxiety well up in me, I’d set the timer on my phone and meditate. I based it around my life, so if I had 5 minutes to spare, I’d meditate for 5 minutes. If I had more time in that moment, I’d set the timer for 15 minutes. Each time I felt myself get overwhelmed with emotions, I’d meditate. When the hamsters in my head would start running in their wheels, I’d meditate. When I felt panic rush in and tighten my chest, I’d meditate. I remember sitting in the cemetery next to the bench that marks the spot where one of my best friends from high school is buried, and I found myself talking to him in the rain, crying, and meditating. I clung to meditation like a life raft. I meditated, because I didn’t know what else to do.

These moments spent in meditation worked as a reset button for my system. I was able to reset myself and breathe. In those days, I didn’t notice a big difference. But it acted as a break from my thoughts and emotions. The break is what snapped me out of my head. It got me through that time with a lot of sanity and clarity. By the end of this 2-week period, I was able to get a sense of a big picture purpose of what was happening. I spoke about it with words that did not feel from me, but more through me. I was then gifted with the most peace I had ever experienced in my entire life. It lasted a week, and during that time I felt so at ease with EVERYTHING in my life. I felt so much love and compassion for myself and everyone else. I realize now that that level of peace is available to all of us when we place priority on our healing and aligning ourselves with our souls.

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” – Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

I didn’t simply gain a week of peace during that time. I also gained the awareness that it was that level of peace that I wanted to feel in my life, all the time. It gave me a contrast to compare everything against. To this day, when a person or situation is causing me to lose my inner peace, I make the needed adjustments, because for me, my inner peace comes FIRST.

This was all just the beginning for me. Last year, after I had taken my leap of faith out of my Registered Nursing job in the hospital when it began affecting my health negatively, and had gotten back from traveling to Australia and Hawaii, I got more serious about meditating again. I was in a time where I was ready to go full force with my business, but I also had to trust that the people who needed the Intuitive Reiki and Joy Coaching with me would come in divine time. I set the intention and began meditating every morning for 25 minutes while also treating myself with Reiki. This consistent practice completely changed my game. I began to have and continue to have so many inspired ideas that led to inspired action that led to so many good things in my life. For instance, it became an important aim of mine to be part of a thriving community of healers and artists, and then I got the idea to create a “Healing Arts” basket for a raffle for the Center of Spiritual Living for their annual fundraiser, which naturally connected me with local healers and artists. There was also the inspired ideas of participating in the fundraiser “Over the Edge” for The Source LGBT+ Center’s annual fundraiser and offering free Reiki sessions every week at The Source which led to me being more connected to the LGBT+ community here which has led me to amazing friendships and more of my tribe! Reaching out to the amazing author, Scott Stabile, about how much I loved his book and would like to have him come to my town to host a workshop was also an inspired idea that I took action on, and it all lined up so effortlessly after that! Scott hosted one of his workshops, “Writing Yourself” here in January!

There’s a reason why so many people urge us to meditate. It works. Deepak Chopra has written MANY books, and you want to know his biggest piece of advice for people? Meditate! I know what you’re thinking, you can’t meditate. You can’t get your brain to slow down long enough to meditate. You don’t have time to meditate. I can assure you that if you had time to read this post about meditating that you have time to meditate. You’re just choosing to use your time in other ways. My life has been a bit of a surrender experiment in the last year. Things I couldn’t have planned for have shown up. Awesome things have shown up. I would say that I owe a lot of that, if not all, to meditation. Meditation has allowed me to align with my soul, my higher self, in a more powerful way than ever before. Following my intuition about everything in my life, right down to what I eat, has further strengthened my intuition, which is also what leads to amazing things. I am so happy to say that I will be teaching kids mindfulness and meditation this summer through Parks and Recreation. I am so excited to share the exercises I’ve used to help teach kids positive ways to cope with life. It is my vision that by teaching kids positive coping mechanisms, they will be able to use them throughout their lives to combat peer pressure, to decrease the rates of teen pregnancy, to decrease addiction, and to decrease the rates of suicide. I love working with kids so much, and pediatrics continues to be the unit of the hospital that I miss working on the most, so I am really looking forward to this new adventure!

I can’t tell you how many times I have been called magic in the last year, the last 8 months especially. I look for magic, I expect magic daily, because I’ve witnessed magic every day. I am aligned with my soul, my higher self. I am following my soul’s path completely which places all kinds of amazing synchronicities on my path. I am human like you, and I got here by trudging through a lot of shit. I did not get here through ease and comfort. I walked through fire to ultimately have my soul set free. When I noticed that my thoughts about myself and my life weren’t serving me well, I worked to adopt new thoughts. I’ve listen to meditations to reprogram my subconscious mind. I’ve followed my intuition to the healing modalities that called to me and the foods that my body was craving. I used journaling. I used positive affirmations. I have a daily gratitude practice. I didn’t grow up knowing about positive ways to cope with life, so I sought them when I needed them. Instead of stressing and ‘grinding’, I learned the importance of quieting my mind through meditation and time spent in nature.

Through the journey I have walked, I have been gifted with the knowledge that our health is our greatest asset, that living in joy is what we are here to do, and that inner peace is the real ‘success’ that we should be working to achieve in this life. I did not come from peace, but I now have more peace than I ever have before. I got tired of suffering. I got tired of playing a victim, so I got serious about finding a way to change my view of the world. I adjusted my priorities. I choose to place my focus on my peace and happiness every day, because I see now how that ripples out from my life into other people’s lives. I choose to prioritize doing things that raise my energy and cause me to vibrate at a higher frequency. When we learn to love ourselves unconditionally, we are able to love others unconditionally. Also in my experience, when I learned to love another unconditionally as I saw their life with empathy and compassion, I loved myself even deeper in return.

Many of the practices I have had great results with are simple and available to anyone who decides to place priority on their own healing. If you struggle to quiet your mind or lead a very stressful life, I urge you to take up daily meditation. It can be as simple as setting a timer for 5 minutes and sitting in a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted while you focus on your breath. You might feel resistance to it, I think that’s pretty common. It was for me. But just keep being consistent with it, and eventually, you’ll notice shifts. I lead guided meditations every first and third Wednesday of every month, so if you’re local, reach out to me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com. We have meditation happening tonight on the Super Full Moon from 6 to 7 pm. Everyone is welcome.

Meditation is a simple shift we can all make towards our wellness. It’s free. It’s easy. We can do it alone or with a group. We can meditate inside or outside. If you’re finding yourself not satisfied with the way your life has been going, try meditating. What do you have to lose?

Thank you for reading! If you liked this post, please like and share it. You can also find me on FB and IG. Sending you so much love!

Spiral of Healing

When this gorgeous orange cat showed up meowing at my front door at the end of October last year, I knew he had been sent to me on purpose. I had literally cleared my heart and spoke my intention into the Universe that our next dog would arrive at our door a day or so before. My son was dying for a dog here. I decided I was ready if the Universe thought it was good for us.

Fast forward to a pet communicator telling me that this cat was an answer to my prayer and a powerful healer here to help me not worry because things were all working out. Here to remind me to keep me collecting as much joy as possible.

I didn’t understand then. I didn’t feel like I needed a powerful healer. And then the last month or so of my life happened. This cat came to be with me NOW.

Nothing major has happened. I’m like many others on this planet right now who have been cycling through some tough stuff welling up from my past. You know…the bit of a roller coaster clearing cycles we’ve been feeling in recent months. All just being brought to the surface so we can finally heal and move forward completely with the new energy we’re able to tap into now.

Abandonment wound. I have one. From my research, most of us might. Can happen in childhood when we feel abandoned by our parents emotionally. Can happen when a parent leaves and doesn’t have anything to do with us. Can happen when a significant person to us dies. Can happen when a lover leaves or a divorce happens.

What I’m realizing is that it’s my big thing, meaning the big thing that’s healing in me every time one of these waves comes over all of us. It’s what I was healing in my last relationship.

I thought I was done with it. It got triggered recently, but almost as soon as I did, I realized that I wasn’t feeling the emotions of that moment, but instead of moments past. You’re probably feeling some things from moments past too, because I’m hearing that a lot from other people. It’s not just our moments past that we’re healing now, it’s our parent’s moments and their parents etc etc. It’s important work. Tiring work. So naps might be needed or earlier bedtimes. Crying might happen. Extra self care and love is needed.

What I’m being shown is that it’s really all about learning to feel what we feel when we feel it and allowing those feelings to flow how they need to. I know I put off a lot of feeling from when I was a kid experiencing things I didn’t really understand. I made up stories in my mind about what was going on and why. And I’m realizing that that’s OK that I did that, but now, I’m stronger and able to deal with those issues. They’re coming up to feel now. Sometimes it’s obvious as to where my feelings are coming from. Luckily, our triggers make things known, so we can feel and heal those old wounds. Amazing to be grateful for triggers. Never thought I’d write that sentence. If we feel these things, we’ll release them and they won’t have a stronghold on us anymore. It doesn’t have to be more complicated than that to release what is coming up to be healed right now.

If you’re like me, your mind might get satisfaction in looking up traits associated with abandonment. Did you know that serial monogamist relationships in succession without break can be a form of self-medication? Guilty. We’re all human. Me, you, that person who drives you crazy. We’re all doing the best we can with where we are and we’re healing as we go. We all have lessons to learn and we all have things that need healed, or we wouldn’t be here. You are not alone. I know that for me, reading some of the things that go with abandonment wounds added clarity to my life and also reminded me of how far I’ve come.

Stop right now. Take a deep breath in. Think of the last year and all you’ve come through. Take a moment to feel good about how far you’ve come. Sending you so much love as we continue forward on this spiral of growth and expansion. We have not begun to move backwards. We’re simply digging deeper, so that more suppressed pain can be released to make way for even more light. Hang on. This all holds purpose for all of us.

Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Sending you so much love!

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My Memory of Health

My memory of health returned to me in the summer of 2015. It was a slow build that began when I listened to my heart and ended my marriage. It wasn’t about my marriage though, it’s just that at that time, it marked a huge turning point for me, because instead of ignoring my intuition, I began following it about everything in my life.

My work with an amazing Homeopath that began in January of 2015, put me on a collision course with my well-being, body, mind, and spirit. I had initially not believed that my Homeopath could in fact get me off of many of my medications as she claimed she could, several of which were antibiotics that I had been taking for Lyme Disease and co-infections since July 2012. I believed (and my doctors had told me) with everything in me that I needed the antibiotics to rid me of the Lyme bacteria that had invaded my heart and brain. After all, every time I had stopped taking the antibiotics, I would have recurrences of chest pain reminiscent of my initial bout of pericarditis in the Fall of 2009. By the end of July 2015, after over 3 years on oral antibiotics, the yeast was gaining strong footing in my body, and I had to temporarily stop the antibiotics so I could start a stronger anti-fungal medication that was incompatible with the other medications. I knew that I didn’t have a choice, but I was very nervous about stopping the antibiotics. I had become so conditioned to need medication to prevent chest pain.

I had begun meditating in July of 2015 as a coping mechanism during a difficult time in my life. I used it to deal with overwhelming sadness and anxiety. Every time my mind began to spiral into stressful thoughts, I’d set a timer on my phone for varying lengths of time depending on what I had going on, 2 minutes, 10 minutes, 5 minutes, 15 minutes, and meditate. I’d clear my mind and focus on my breathing. What I noticed after doing this for a week or two was that I began to see the bigger picture of my life situation. I began to be very aware that my soul was working on bigger things than I could be aware of at that time. I gained an amazing sense of peace that all was right in the world and in my life, and that even as the stressful situation continued, it did not shake me out of that bigger sense of knowing. I was blanketed in a peace unlike anything I had ever experienced before. I sometimes forget about that week of peace. Essentially, it gave me the knowing that that level of peace was all I needed to be seeking in life. I became committed to not stopping until I attained it again. I began to live with a conviction to not put up with situations or people in my life that disrupted my inner peace.

As I was off the antibiotics for days, then a week, then 2 weeks, I kept thinking that I would restart them, but I kept NOT starting them. At that point, I was over taking handfuls of pills every day, multiple times a day. There were pills I had to take when I woke up, before breakfast. There were pills, I needed to take with breakfast. There were probiotics I had to take 2 hours after the pills with breakfast. There were pills I then had to take again at lunch, and yet again with dinner. There were pills I had to take before bed. From the beginning, I was taking medications to ward off the side effects of other medications. My medication regimen felt like a full-time job in and of itself. The yeast issues were the last straw. I was done. My body confirmed this and began making me gag every time I took a pill.

More importantly, my symptoms weren’t returning!! I didn’t have any chest pain! I was shocked, and happily surprised! So I then began to pose some questions to myself. What exactly made me “sick”? Was I sick because I had been diagnosed with Lyme Disease and a host of other tick-born infections, or was it based on how I felt? In that moment, I decided that from then on, it was going to be based on how I felt, and I felt great!

I continued my daily homeopathy remedy, but I stopped every other medication and supplement I had been taking. I realize that it was extreme to stop the supplements and my antidepressant, but after starting the pill routine almost 6 years earlier in the winter of 2009 following my emergent heart surgery (pericardial window), I began to gag at the mere thought of taking pills. My body was rejecting that lifestyle, and I finally started to listen to my body.

I started thinking of myself as healthy, and cured. It was a way of thinking that went against what my doctor and specialist were telling me, because they say that Lyme Disease can never be cured. But here I was feeling fine, after years of a dis-ease that had been severely constricting my ability to live my life with freedom to do the things I so loved to do like hike, working full-time 12+ hours as a Registered Nurse, and taking care of my son on my days off. It felt like a miracle. I had never thought that I’d ever be free from my symptoms, let alone my medications. As I changed my thoughts about my dis-ease, the shift in my health was AMAZING!!

By the summer of 2016, I was testing my body and getting back into hiking! I remember my first long, solo hike to Corbett Lake like it was yesterday. It was a 6.3 mile hike that began at 7,400 feet elevation and went mostly uphill to 9,070 feet. I’ve read online that the hike involves a total of 19 switchbacks up on the way in, and down on the way out. I was feeling great and had done smaller hikes leading up to this one, but when I hit that trail, I didn’t really know for sure that I’d be able to do it. It was such a gorgeous hike! Hiking solo meant that I could stop to catch my breath on the switchbacks without feeling bad about it. I stopped to eat when I felt hungry. I hiked my own way, in my own time and it felt so empowering! At one point, I got to a vista that overlooked the a lake below and the surrounding mountains. I stood there beaming, laughing, and then crying with joy at what my body was able to do, and at the beauty of nature all around me. I was back! My health was back! I was completely overwhelmed by the bliss of it all. I stood there with such gratitude for the experience, the strength of my body, and of my resilience. I wondered if others ever cry when they are out hiking and are met with such a beautiful view.

I continued my way up to the lake. I was amazed to have such a amazing spot all to myself. I think I hung out there for 3 or 4 hours that day. I had a dance party on a downed tree and later again on a giant boulder. I swam and snorkeled across the lake. I read a book. I meditated. I took a lakeside nap. I laid in the sun and in the shade. I listened to the wind blow across the water as it caused the clear, alpine lake water to lap at the shore. I marveled at the beauty that was that moment, in its entirety: the lake, my body, my returned/renewed/realized state of wellness.

The last paragraph of Deepak Chopra’s book, “Quantum Healing” could be written about me. “I have no fear for her now, even if she had to begin her battle again. Eleanor is beyond battles — she radiates the peacefulness that she writes about, and spending time with her makes me feel happy and secure, all the more because I understand how rare her peace is. From the despair of disease, she has discovered joy. At the moment when the memory of health returned, it brought her enough peace to last a lifetime.”

From the despair of dis-ease, I discovered my joy, and as my memory of health returned it gave me a power that has been with me ever since and will last my entire lifetime. Before I knew anything about Quantum healing and Ayurveda, I was utilizing some of the techniques without realizing it. I continue to use the power of my mind to change my life, and to help the clients I work with to use the same techniques to heal themselves and change their own lives. It is my passion, my joy, and my soul’s purpose to use my past experiences to empower and inspire others on their own journeys. The time has come for us all to realize the power of our own minds, and the potential that we all hold to live our best, most healthy lives!

If you are currently in a place where you find yourself challenged by dis-ease, then I highly encourage you to sign up for my email newsletter and gain access to a video I made that outlines 5 simple, yet POWERFUL techniques I’ve used on my own healing journey HERE.

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Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it! As always, if my words resonate with you and you feel so inclined, reach out to me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com. I would love to connect with you! Sending you so much love!

Here’s a link to one of my favorite songs to dance to these days, Matisyahu “Thunder” HERE. Enjoy!