Music for My Spirit

At the beginning of this year, I read an article that reminded me of the importance of seeing our favorite musicians live. It spoke of the joy that these experiences bring us and also to the fleeting nature of life and how we never know if we will have future opportunities to see our favorites perform. Music has always been a big part of my life. It has been my most consistent form of therapy.

The article inspired me, so I set the intention that I would see my top 3 favorites this year, Xavier Rudd, Michael Franti, and Matisyahu, and I manifested all three FRONT ROW CENTER! I appreciate the fact that they all create with lyrics that are uplifting, meaningful, spiritual, real, and generally clean so that I feel good listening to them all on repeat around my young son. They aren’t just amazing musicians, but also amazing people.

Matisyahu Grizzly Fest Fresno, CA May 5, 2019

I got to see Matisyahu on May 5th at Grizzly Fest in Fresno. I’ve been listening to Matis since June of 2016 when a family I was caring for in the hospital was listening to him in their room after having a new baby. I’ve listened to his albums on repeat so many times. He has played a big part in my transformation and awaking over the last 3 years. His music has gotten me through a lot! Aside from the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass concert my son went to when he was a baby, Matisyahu was my son’s first concert. We drove a few hours to the beach, so that we could see him live in San Luis Obispo. I taught my son how to get front row spots and keep them and he was all in. He was 8 years old at the time. We later met Matis after a show in Fresno and my son had him sign his shirt. As we stood there with him and had our picture taken, I could feel the good, grounding energy emanating from Matisyahu. That energetic impression of him has always stuck with me. Energy speaks volumes to me where oftentimes words and logic fall short. Matisyahu has amazing energy. My son and I have connected a lot through the concerts we’ve been to and Matisyahu’s music. His music also helped me a lot as I took my power back in my life, put myself first for a change, and quit my job in the hospital.

Michael Franti Avila Beach, CA
May 31, 2019

As my 40th birthday approached, I saw that Michael Franti and Spearhead were playing on the coast the day before, so I got myself a ticket for my birthday and drove over. I had a great time connecting with a couple who was also hanging out in the front before the show even began and the woman and I had a great conversation. I learned that she was interested in nursing and I shared about my leap of faith out of my nursing job in the hospital and of the Holographic Kinetics healing modality based on Dreamtime Healing of the aboriginal people of Australia that I currently use. We were both amazed when the opening band, Nattali Rize, announced that they were from Jamaica and Australia. In fact, the lead singer said that Michael Franti had found her on a beach in Byron Bay, Australia, the next place on my list to visit there! If you’ve seen my 21 day Michael Franti’s Show Me Your Moves dancing challenge videos on IG, then you already have a sense of why I love Michael’s music so much. He’s got some of the most uplifting lyrics around and a lot of it makes me want to dance! This show was extra special. Michael had a special guest, Jocelyn Goldman, come on stage and sing “Love Will Find a Way”. It’s a little girl I’ve seen videos of singing his music while playing the ukulele. The fact that kids can connect with him and his music is part of why I love him so much! He even had a bunch of kids come up on the stage and dance during his set. How cool is that?! I danced SO hard at this show! I got thanked for dancing during the opening band. And then I was straight up jumping for most of Michael Franti and Spearhead’s show. At the end of the show, I was blessed to have Michael come off of the stage and plant himself at the railing I was standing at RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! He stood there performing a song acoustically and I just had to look up at him to watch. I could have reached out and touched him. It was AMAZING! When he finished, he climbed over the railing into the crowd and I got to thank him and give him a hug. I was filled with so much joy that night! I felt like I was floating. It was the perfect way to ring in my freshest effin’ decade yet!

I was first introduced to Michael Franti and Spearhead by a coworker of mine in Alaska. After the job ended, she sent me a CD with a bunch of different artists and they were one of them. Several years later, I got to see them live at the Telluride Bluegrass Festival when I was working in New Mexico for the summer. I drove up with a group of coworkers in a VW bus and we had such a great time! There were years that I virtually stopped listening to music. I gave my power away and allowed myself to get lost in a marriage. The fact that I didn’t even want to listen to music should have been the biggest red flag of my life, but I didn’t listen and suffered the loss of my health because of it. Michael was there again once I was out of that situation. And he was there several years later when my health began cooperating and I was able to do the outdoor things I loved again. Often when I listen to Michael’s music, I am reminded of the summer of 2016 when I began to really get aligned with my spirit through following my joy as often as I could.

Xavier Rudd Whale Rock Music Fest Templeton, CA Sept 14, 2019

I got to see Xavier Rudd at the Whalerock Music Festival this September. My awesome friend Kamryn invited me to go with her. I discovered Xavier Rudd at a live show he did with Brett Dennen in Portland Oregon in about 2006. I was with friends who went to the show to see Xavier Rudd and didn’t know of Brett Dennen, and at that time, I was there for Brett Dennen and had never heard of Xavier. You can’t see a show like the one he put on and not become a huge fan! I was hooked from that point on. Xavier is from Australia. If you know me at all, then you know that I’ve been drawn to Australia and all things and people Australian my whole life. At the time of the show in Portland, Xavier sat surrounded by a circle of instruments that he, himself, was playing. He was a one man band. I had never before seen anything like it. He played a slide guitar in his lap, he kept a beat with his foot, and he wore a harmonica that he played in times when he wasn’t singing or playing the didgeridoo. I was blown away! Xavier has periods of time when he doesn’t tour in the US much, but luckily he was in California this year! We were front row center through his performance and we were both deeply affected by the loving, healing energy he was sending out that night. It was the most magical performance I have ever seen. My friend was moved to tears. I set the intention during the show to send Xavier and his band love from my own spirit. At one point, Xavier was standing right in front of me as he ended a song and he looked me right in the eyes for a long while as I was signing ‘I love you’ on both hands and saying it too. We smiled at each other. It’s a moment of connection between our humans and spirits that I will never forget for my whole life. He felt like family to me.

Friends, it’s time to prioritize our joy, because when we do, we align with our spirit which is the answer to everything else we want in this life. So go see your favorite musicians perform as often as you can! We get to choose what we feed our bodies, minds, and spirits. The more uplifting experiences we have, the more aligned we become, the more elevated our energy becomes, and the more we are able to THRIVE in this life. It’s time to stop surviving and start thriving! Seek out live shows of the musicians that you love! Seek out musicians who do good in the world. Seek out musicians whose lyrics have a way of always making you feel better. Seek out music that moves and inspires you at the spirit level. Every time we do these things for ourselves, we change our lives for the better, and therefore change the world for the better! Follow your joy and intuition to your alignment! You will be so happy you did! I am! When we cultivate inner peace, it is reflected back to us in the world. Do things that bring you peace and joy, and the world will be more peaceful and joyful.

You can see Michael Franti and Jocelyn Goldman perform “Once a Day” HERE.

Thank you for reading along! If you liked this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG at peaceful.jellyfish or FB on my Peaceful Jellyfish page for more inspirational content! Sending you all so much love!

Colleges and Universities are Part of the Programming

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Photo by Startup Stock Photos on Pexels.com

Consider the fact that those of us living in the US know that the history we were taught in school wasn’t an accurate depiction. European settlement and “heroes” are highlighted while the mass killing and displacement of NATIVE Americans is barely taught or extremely downplayed. Kids are still being taught the nonsense of how Thanksgiving commemorates the Europeans and Native Americans coming together to share a bounty. In the way that elementary school history is tailored to teach kids only what the powers that be want us to believe, so too do colleges and universities spoon feed us the knowledge from decided upon text books that give us the story/information that they want us to believe, in ALL subjects. This is why we must question absolutely EVERYTHING.

I understand that the fact that I was able to take out loans and go out of state for college is considered a privlege that not everyone gets to experience. I also understand the way things are set up makes a college degree a necessity for many types of professions. With that said, I want to pose to you that in this moment in time during a grand awakening where more and more people are waking up all the time to the truth that they are infinite consciousness in human form, the last thing people need is further programming from the system in the form of degrees.

The only people getting degrees should be those who are aligned with their spirit and have a strong knowing about their soul’s purpose in this life and it involves a line of work that requires a degree. Gone should be the days where high school students are blindly pushed by parents and the system to pick a career at the age of 18, and go to college right away because they feel like that’s just what they’re supposed to do. We’ve got to move past the fear-based programming, beyond focusing our energy on becoming what our families expect from us, and into a more heart-guided space of freedom and curiosity.

We have already seen young people graduating from four-year schools unable to find jobs. This is after going into MASSIVE amounts of debt as tuition keeps rising and rising! Having a college degree is no longer a guarantee for employment. Most of the time, newly graduated high school students don’t know themselves well enough to be able to choose a career and therefore a degree that’s going to resonate with them when all is said and done.

How many of us really knew what we wanted to do with our lives when we were 18? I remember picking my degree in marine biology based on my love for the ocean and marine animals. I loved animals, therefore I chose biology. I wanted to help the planet, so I chose a second degree in Environmental Studies, Conservation Biology. I didn’t know how I intended to use these degrees. At the time, I also saw going to college as a way to get out of the town where I grew up. It ended up working out, because my first career revolved around working on various wildlife and fisheries projects all over the US. Those positions required a science degree.

As I mentioned, tuition has gone through the roof since I was in school. It’s a terrible combination when we have young kids choosing to go to college from a place of fear or from pressure from their families, because it sets them up to go into many thousands of dollars in debt while possibly aligning them with a degree that they won’t use or a career that they hate. It’s an easy way to get lots of people trapped into a lifetime of debt that will require that they get locked into the slog of a 9-5 job. Read how the slog affects us in my last post “We’ve Been Locked in an Energetic Prison”.

If we, as the human race, want to see REAL change happen in this world, then we’re going to have to start looking at things, and doing things completely differently than we generally have been. We have to do new things and think new thoughts if we want different results. Part of this means assessing the pedestal that we’ve been placing higher education on. We have to be willing to contemplate if further schooling is actually teaching people how to learn and question things for themselves, or if it’s further locking them into the herd mentality where they believe everything they’ve been taught in school. And that they’ve been so trained to stay in line and care what other people think of them that they don’t dare question anything for themselves.

The peace and freedom of the human race is going to come from breaking free from the herd mentality while realizing that we know nothing about how the world actually works, because our five senses are THAT limited. We did not come into this life with odds something like 1 in 400 trillion to simply be a sheep and fall in line with everyone else. We are all different reflections of the same source/god/universe energy that is seeking out a new, different experience of the world through our own unique perceptions and actions.

Humans tend to get so locked into the belief systems that have been fed to them that they are willing to defend them with their lives — see wars waged over religious beliefs. We grow up believing that all that our teachers and parents tell us, because we don’t know any better. But, they were fed what they are teaching us. Then, we defend that knowledge and take personal offense if someone offers an opposing viewpoint to what the masses have been taught. Yet we supposedly live in a “free” society infamous for our “free” speech. Kids bully other kids who don’t ‘fit in’, and adults bully other adults through gossip, bad-mouthing, and cyber-bullying behind the safety of their screen when what someone is saying or doing falls outside of the PROGRAMMED ‘accepted norm’. You ever wonder where these ‘societal norms’ even come from? I have been really focusing on noticing my thoughts and beliefs and questioning all of them in the last several years. I really have come to know that I know very little of how this world works, so I am less inclined to hold so tightly to any belief that I have, even if it is one that I have been carrying around with me for a long time.

We’ve been programmed to be the police for each other, keeping each other ‘in line’. If you’ve never read the book “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz, then I highly suggest that you do. One of the agreements that I have found myself focusing on a lot over the last several years is to not take anything personally. The truth is that nothing anyone says or does is because of us. We are in a lot of ways, all living in own own, personal simulation game. Because there is so much going on around us at any given time, our minds have to block some of the stimuli from our awareness or it would all completely overwhelm us. So, based on our past experiences, our minds decide what is important for us to take note of. Two of us walking down the same street would have a completely different experience because our unique perceptions would be allowing and disallowing different information from entering our field of perception. For instance, I may notice flowers that are like the ones my parents used to grow in our front yard, while you may be oblivious to the flowers while instead noticing a car like the one you just bought recently. Because our individual realities are painted with what our mind chooses to focus on either subconsciously or consciously, our thoughts literally create our reality.

I am thankful for the experiences that my degrees have allowed me to have, but I also acknowledge the fact that I’ve had to spend a lot of time letting go of the beliefs that I was spoon fed in school, so that I could become a free-thinker willing to question everything I’ve been taught and had come to believe so strongly. I pay attention to my intuition when I learn something new, and only take the information that I can feel resonates with me. I release anything that doesn’t feel like my truth.

Just as someone who grew up within the confines of a specific religion has to reprogram their mind once they  realize that the church’s message is no longer resonating with them, I’ve had to reprogram my mind to not take everything touted by science as fact. The reality is that we are only being taught what our government and state wants us to believe. How many degrees of separation do you think stand between our government, and big pharma, big agriculture, big business, and colleges and universities? In my research, I’m finding not many. It’s all connected. And a the main intention behind these entities is overall control of the population and profit. This is why it’s imperative that we start releasing our grip on our beliefs, and questioning everything! We must not take anything at face value. If we want to be free-thinkers who instead of following the crowd, we must start following our own intuition and inner knowing.

Pay attention to the fact that many of us who grew up questioning everything, are usually the one in our families who felt alone and unlike everyone else. We were planted into our families to shake up the status quo. Our children are also playing this role on an even grander scale. As parents, it can be difficult to raise such strong-willed children, but it’s so important in the bigger picture. They are here to stretch and expand us and this dimension in time, while staying more true and authentic to themselves. We are meant to learn from them, not punish or drug them. We’re being shown that we need to do things differently if we want different results, so can you see the divinity of how our kids do things differently and don’t accept the answer of “oh we do it that way, because that’s just the way it’s always been done”?

Just in my healing journey alone, I have seen enough holes in science and my education to know that it’s not the end all, be all that it’s made out to be. Big pharma and insurance have far too much say in how we’re caring for people with dis-ease in this country. Doctors and hospitals receive large kick backs from both when they push certain medications and vaccinations. For example, the hospital I worked in began to require everyone to get a yearly flu vaccine even when the effectiveness of a particular year’s vaccine was shown to only be 10-30%. Do we really believe that this requirement has anything to do with preventing the flu? Question everything.

We have a bunch of mandatory vaccines being given to babies in the US which continues to increase every year, yet we have one of the highest mortality rates for babies of any country in the world. I would maybe believe that the US’ medical system and policies are on point when it comes to infant care if our babies here weren’t dying in record numbers especially given that we are a first-world country. We’re missing the mark big time. It’s time to question everything.

In my nursing program, we were not taught about Lyme Disease, something that I had been battling myself. The only mention of it to my class came because I had an instructor whose daughter had Lyme Disease. There is a huge conspiracy going on with the treatment of Lyme despite the fact that it is projected that the 30,000 new cases a year is actually probably closer 300,000. Find and watch “Under Our Skin” if you want more details about the agenda behind the lack of proper tests and treatment for Lyme. Insurance companies have such control over the treatment of Lyme, that it is virtually impossible to receive adequate antibiotic treatment without going to a specialist and paying out-of-pocket. Doctors have been taken to court and have lost their license to practice medicine over the treatment they prescribe. Doctors aren’t even educated on Lyme. When I was diagnosed, I had doctors in my  area who had been involved in my care get defensive when I told them I had Lyme, stating that there isn’t Lyme in this area. Bullshit. I know many people who have gotten it in this area. They seemed to take offense, because they weren’t the ones to figure out my mystery illness. I witnessed the most petty responses from my doctors including one that I had really come to respect. Question everything.

Alternative therapies such as homeopathy are often discredited, while big pharma medications are continually pushed on the general public through near constant commercials on TV and through advertising posted in every doctor’s office. The effectiveness of homeopathy is so downplayed even though it has been credited with the turnaround of many people’s dis-ease, including my own. Doesn’t it make sense that a treatment that’s minimally expensive, but has the propensity to get people off of their big pharma- supplied medications would be downplayed and vehemently argued against? Question everything.

We’re taught to protect ourselves from the sun, but we need it for vitamin D production. There are people who have been wearing sunscreen SPF 50 and covering up, and are STILL getting skin cancer. We have to wonder if the sunscreens are actually CAUSING the skin cancer. Try limiting sun exposure and covering up when you’re going to be in the sun for a long time. Question everything.

The two political parties roll out the same agendas term after term with slight variations to make us believe that one is doing better or worse than the last guy. It’s all the same thing being carried out by different puppets. Yet people hold such strong convictions that they turn on friends and family and allow their own energetic vibration to drop because of what the latest puppet is doing or saying. It’s meant to divide us and drop us into a lower vibrational state. Question everything.

The way to our alignment with our spirit is by jumping out of the herd mentality and following the beat of our own drum. We are all very unique versions of the same source on purpose. We should not seek from outside of ourselves for the knowledge that we all hold within.

We find our purpose when we show up as our 100% authentic and vulnerable selves ready and willing to do, say, and think new things even if no one else is doing it. That’s when we find our unique contribution to this world — through our own, unique, individual expression of the source energy that we all are.

Learn to educate yourself. Question everything. Accept only what resonates with you at your core, and release the rest. Read the banned and censored books (1984 anyone?). Expand your awareness to include the things that they don’t teach us in school. Consider that we are able to perceive very little in this world, so don’t hold tight to any one thought or belief. Much of what we’re taught is backwards from the way things actually are. Question everything.

Align with your own spirit, so that you allow your intuition to be your guide, not the voices from the outside world. We each hold all of the answers we seek.

Thank you for reading along. If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. You might enjoy following me on IG for more uplifting content.

Our Thoughts Affect EVERYTHING!

This is from Esther and Jerry Hicks’ amazing book titled “Ask and It Is Given”.

YOUR THOUGHTS LITERALLY CREATE YOUR REALITY!

Every issue we have has a Cause. We experience something in this life or a past life (or an ancestor of ours has an experience) that causes us to lock in a belief about ourselves or life. Because we lock in that belief, we create situations that prove it true over and over again. That’s right, YOU are the powerful creator of your own reality. Often, this beliefs slip into our subconscious mind as most of them happen during childhood or at conception or while we’re in the womb. (Yes, the things you think about and do while you’re pregnant matter GREATLY, as your child’s spirit is present from the time of conception). We then create our lives from these subconscious beliefs and can end up feeling like a victim of circumstance vs the powerful creator that we are.

As creators of our reality, we are the only ones able to change it. In my sessions of Holographic Kinetics, I see time and again how issues began and am so grateful that I am able to offer people a way to not only receive more clarity on why their lives are the way they are, but also to assist them to clear the issues and create a new reality.

We’re all under pressure right now to clear out all of the things we’ve been carrying around that no longer serve our highest good. That can look like spring cleaning the entire house in August, purging old stuff we don’t use, ending relationships, quitting the job we hate, and finding healing modalities that allow us to clear our biggest issues still holding us back.

This release of the old is key to moving into a more magnificent new than we can even imagine in this NOW moment. We’re shifting up, and what’s to come is WAY better than what we’ve experienced so far! Trust your journey.❤️

Are You Being Bribed?

Look, I know not everyone hates their chosen profession that provides a salary, but how many do?! I didn’t hate my job the hospital, but I stopped enjoying it when the red tape was longer than the time I was able to actually be with my patients when they needed me. And regardless of that, the stress of the job began to negatively affect my health. I had my own primary FNP urge me to leave my job to protect my health. I had already lost my health once and almost died and I wasn’t willing to go through that again! After all, I had already learned up close and personal that I wouldn’t be able to buy my health back with money. A lesson a lot of people learn every day. So I jumped out of a $70,000+ a year career to save myself. You know what it feels like 1.5 years later? Worth. It!

Am I making even close to what I was then doing Holographic Kinetics and Mindfulness Coaching and Educating? Not yet. Not close. In fact, I could likely qualify for public assistance, but I’m living in a place of trust that all that I need is always provided for me, and it’s worked out so far. But on par with one of my last posts, what I need shows up when I need it, and not a moment sooner, because I am being taught by my spirit to live in the present moment only. How else are we to learn if we don’t surrender and trust to the flow of the Universe? Do I have some late bills? Yes. Am I freaking out about them? No. I’ve cultivated inner peace that exists regardless of anything outside of myself, which I believe is exactly the point. I no longer define my worth by my career or my income. I’ve never felt so confident in my life. Priceless.

I’m not the only one who had health issues in an RN job. Some stayed, some left, and some are on extended leave of absences (LOA’s), which essentially means that their job is creating physical, mental and/or emotional stress and they are forced to take a break from work. People put their health and their own dreams on the back burner in exchange for a paycheck. It’s bullshit. People get just enough to be ‘comfortable’, a state typically void of real LIVING and JOY. We tend to earn ‘just enough’ to pay on all of the debt we incurred from school, credit cards, mortgages, and cars. We have ‘enough’ to get by, but not to do the things we’ve been longing to do. If we do make enough to say travel, then we’ve got higher ups saying if and when we can take the vacation days we earned. Last year, after planning a trip to vacation with family in Hawaii, I was told that because the cycle sick time for kin hadn’t yet started over that I wouldn’t have enough PTO for my vacation, meaning that I wouldn’t be able to take it. I made sure to quit before then, because I was done living my life for other people, and only with other people’s permission while my own health suffered. Nope. See, that’s the beauty of a catastrophic health event, you become absolutely resolute about not repeating it, and you also start putting your own needs first for a change.

Our jobs sell us lots of stuff to get us hooked: salary, health insurance, paid sick leave, paid vacation time, and discounts in the cafeteria. Telling me that I accrue paid sick leave, but only letting me use it after I’ve had to call off of work for 3 consecutive days (and supply a doctor’s note), is not a perk, it’s a fake benefit. I guess it would have been there to fall back on after the job completed its duty of fully taking my health away, but I wasn’t staying to find out. It’s just something they ‘give’ us that makes us feel like we’re signing on with a company who cares about our well-being. All nurses have to dip into the vacation PTO days off that they earn with each paycheck in order to get a paid sick day off. And do you know how many days off a year a nurse is ‘allowed’ to call in before the hand slapping starts? Three, yes 3 days a YEAR. I needed health insurance when I was living a life of putting myself last, not so much when I’ve been living a life aligned with my own spirit.

You ever wonder what the hell you’re even doing here? Do you really think we’re meant to only work, pay bills, and die?! Ever notice how quick we are to accept the social ‘norms’ and the ‘way things have always been done’? If you’re not happy, you’re the only one who can change it. If you want a different life, you’re going to have to be willing to get really uncomfortable and creative in your next steps. The only time to live is NOW. When are we going to wake up and fully LIVE?

I’ve been meeting more and more people who jumped out of their good paying jobs to work for themselves and/or in places/positions that add happiness to their lives. It can be done. All of the material wealth in the world is not worth your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Look at all of the celebrities who keep killing themselves despite reaching the fame and fortune they set out to achieve. That should be a big wake up call to all of us. Money can’t buy you love, happiness, or joy. Learn to put your well-being and alignment above everything else. There’s much abundance, healing, happiness, joy, and peace to be found here in alignment. Following our intuition and joy to alignment isn’t about forgoing all responsibility. It’s about following inspired action vs feeling moved to some made up required action. It’s about manifesting everything you want and need that’s in sync with your own frequency in divine timing. It’s living in gratitude for all that you have vs only thinking about what you don’t have. It’s about being responsible for your own energy and what you’re bringing into the world. We help others when we help ourselves. We create change when we change ourselves. We lift each other up when we first lift ourselves up.

We don’t have to hustle if we align. Alignment gives way to inspired action which means that the things you do are fun even when they’re for ‘work’. We spend so much time working, so it’d be really smart to find something we enjoy doing. Does it really make sense that the only time we get to truly be free and live the life we want is after retirement when we’re in our 60’s? I’ve known people to die at 60 or mid-60’s. What if you retire at 65 and die at 75? Is 10 years of 75 years really the only time you want to enjoy and experience freedom?!?! What about the people working past retirement age because they feel forced to keep the health insurance? As a whole, are we really OK with this limiting set up?

Have you ever considered that we’re better followers when everything bombarding us makes us feel inferior, small, worthless, and reaching for things outside of ourselves for answers, support, and love? The program creates a void in us, and then creates solutions in the form of science, religion, gadgets, material items, new age beliefs to fill it when in fact, if we’d tune out the noise, we’d find that our natural state is well-being and that all of the answers we ever need exist within us. Nothing in this world is what it seems. We are all limitless, infinite consciousness in a rented human meat suit. We are powerful beyond measure and we are capable of SO much more than the long-accepted status quo. It’s go time! The time to live is NOW! What are you being bribed to do in life by money or fear of the unknown, or your need to feel in control?

Photo credit:

IG: motivation.squadx

If you’d like to tap into the wisdom of your spirit and clear some of the programming and beliefs that got locked into it during this life, previous lives, the genetic lines, or from inter dimensional interferences seeking control, then consider a session of Dreamtime Healing using Holographic Kinetics with me. All sessions are done in person. Issues are cleared on all levels and dimensions which means that they stop impacting your current life and future lives. Healing ripples back into previous generations as well as forward into future generations. Holographic Kinetics allows you and your spirit to take back control of your life without the things currently holding you back.

Thanks for reading along! If you like this post, please like and share it. Sending you all so much love!

Emotions vs. Physical Pain

For those of us who are very sensitive and feel the energy of everyone and everything around us (many people here right now), it can be really easy to get swept up in it all and lose ourselves. We grow up looking to the people around us for ways to cope with emotions, to cope with life. Many of their coping mechanisms were not healthy for them, therefore many of the coping mechanisms we learned are not healthy for us.

I had a friend tell me that it is easier to deal with physical pain than it is to feel their emotions. They hit the nail on the head, because they had learned early on to stuff their emotions deep down and just deal with them as the physical pain that they manifested as in their body. It shows how intense emotions can be for some of us. So intense that we’d rather experience the physical pain. Have you noticed this truth for yourself? Do you find that physical pain is easier to deal with than your emotions? Can you see how that belief causes you to push down your emotions while you create physical pain in your body? Yes, our thoughts and beliefs are THAT powerful.

I was in the same boat for most of my life. I coped with my emotional pain by stuffing them down. I felt EVERYTHING, and when it meant tension of parents who were usually fighting or not talking, I chose to live my life as small as possible to try and reduce the number of waves in the house. Did it work? No. I didn’t have the power to change the interpersonal dynamics happening around me. The waves were still there. I still felt everything and then on top of it, held myself back from activities that I knew would create issues. I got quiet and held in all of my confused emotions of fear, sadness, and anger about the situation in my house. I was there as a confidant to my Mom, because I began to feel that when others around me, especially my Mom, were OK around me, that I was OK. Otherwise I felt far from OK. This pattern has continued throughout my life. I realized during my own Holographic Kinetics sessions that my ability to feel all of the energy around me made me prone to take it on as my own, adjust my own being to not add to its ‘negative’ feeling nature, and to place more importance on how people around me were feeling rather than on how I was feeling. As you can imagine because you’re human too, learning to put my own needs last ended up being detrimental to my health. I struggled with depression for many years, and later had a mystery illness attack my heart. Take it from me, it’s extremely important that we put ourselves and our needs FIRST. It’s not selfish, it’s necessary.

After talking with my friend about it being easier to feel physical pain vs emotions, my ankle pain popped into my head. I remember most evenings sitting with my family in the living room watching TV as I cried and rubbed my sore ankles. The pain would shoot up from my ankles, up through my shins, and into my knees. I remember in those moments, trying to remember what it felt like when my ankles were’t hurting. I would just sit and wish that they weren’t hurting. My Mom would give me ibuprofen, which would help. I hated taking pills. I had so much trouble swallowing them.  I used to think that it was the shoes I was wearing, or the structure of my feet. But last week, I hiked in sandals not meant for hiking, or even walking long distances really. I hiked up and over granite boulders, through meadows, and over gravel and dirt, and I didn’t have ANY ankle pain AT ALL (or knee, or shin pain etc)! I can see how everything lined up to have me connect these dots right now. I was so concerned about my ankle pain that when I went to Alaska after college for an internship, I wondered if I would end up being in a lot of pain. I wasn’t, but my mind told me that it was because I was wearing good hiking boots that supported my feet well, and that I wasn’t walking on hard pavement.

In writing this post, it became clear to me why I felt so much pain in my ankles as a child. A quick search about emotions and ankle pain revealed that my issue wasn’t physical, but emotional. I had what felt like a lack of stability in my support system. I also felt like I had the weight of the world on me, because I was unconsciously taking the blame and responsibility for the stress in my house. The weight became too much to bear, and my ankle pain was also unbearable at times. Interesting as well is that I sprained my ankles several times as a kid. I was literally feeling a lack of support in my life that was expressing itself in a lack of support in my own physical body! I learned to build my own support system. I stayed with friends a lot. In high school, I had a really great boyfriend with a family who supported and encouraged me. Looking back, as he went off to college during my senior year of high school, my self-created support system was shaken, and I sprained my ankle pretty severely the week or so before school started and he left to go out of state for college. Now I can see how it all fits together, and it makes so much sense. I had trouble feeling and coping with my big emotions and the situation around me, so it all showed up as physical ailments. As it turns out, the fact that I have become my own support system and have learned to feel my feelings is all that I needed to ‘cure’ my ankle problems. Also, I have an AMAZING support system made of family and dear friends. Are you allowing yourself to feel your own emotions? Are they showing up as physical pain in your body? Are you taking on pain and stress from people around you?

It has taken me the better part of 40 years to learn the real secret. That emotions, like everything else in this life, are fleeting and that the best way to handle them is to feel them when they arise. It has taken lots of practice to not stuff my emotions down. This can mean that I allow myself to cry at apparently inopportune times like when I’m processing big shifts and the emotion wells up in me like a tidal wave and the tears begin to stream down my cheeks at my favorite coffee shop. How many times have you held back tears? Why? I’ve held them back at work before like when I was working in the hospital and had a lot going on in my personal life, which feels appropriate except that I even held back in the break room away from patients, families, and coworkers. We have been taught that feeling our emotions and god forbid expressing them outwardly makes us weak, even more so for men who are taught from a young age that they need to be strong and keep going through their hardships without stopping to feel, to cry. Ironically, as more and more people allow themselves to feel and express their emotions as they arise, we are going to create a world community that is stronger than ever. Emotions are real life, they aren’t weak. I see so much strength in the face of a man who has tears flowing down his face. I know that he is fighting against the norm of what he’s been taught to do his whole life. And wow do I think it’s really fucking beautiful! I feel so incredibly grateful for the men in my life who have felt safe enough with me to express the full range of their emotions in front of me. We all need you to keep feeling and releasing.

Several years ago, as I had a big relationship/friendship end just before my dog of 14 years died, I thought that I would spiral into a severe depression. Honestly, the relationship had been over for some time by this point, so I had already prepared myself for it’s end. But nothing can really prepare a person for their dog dying. That pain was intense to say the least and I am still so grateful that a dear friend of mine offered to drive me to and from the veterinarian. It would not have been safe for me to drive myself. I left that office completely beside myself. I cried for the better part of two days straight. I called into work sick for two days and I don’t regret it one bit. It is VITALLY important for us to recognize these moments in our lives when we need to make space for ourselves to feel the full range of our emotions and to release them through a river of tears. No person, situation, or job is more important for us than giving ourselves that kind of love and space to feel how we feel in the moment. It is always better to let other people down than to let yourself down. Send a strong message to your body mind spirit, and Source that YOU ARE IMPORTANT. You can do this by taking good care of yourself.

At this point in my life, feeling my emotions as I have them has become MUCH more appealing to me than having pain in my physical body. It is natural that when we’re children, we experience things as trauma, both large and small events, because everything feels so big and important to us. We get overwhelmed easily and make up stories about what we’re experiencing, and so we stuff down our emotions and forget about the traumas that created them.  I have also learned how to separate my energy out from other’s energy, which prevents me from getting so overwhelmed by the energy circulating outside of myself. Working as an RN in the hospital really enabled me to hone that skill, because I was surrounded by so many varying sources of energy.

We’ve done ourselves a disservice because we’ve got a country full of people who are numbing their feelings with drugs, alcohol, other people, sugar, gossip, screen time, work etc. People have more dis-ease and more chronic pain. And we’ve been taught that the way to move beyond our dis-ease and pain is to seek solutions outside of ourselves. While western medicine does have its place, start viewing your body as a messenger. Get quiet and start tuning into the wisdom of your own body as you’re trying to get answers about the way things are physically manifesting. What stressors are you currently dealing with? Have you been ignoring your intuition about something? Are you feeling a lot of fear, anger, guilt? What food are you feeding your body and mind? Are the things/people/situations you’re allowing into your life lifting you up or tearing you down? If you answered with the latter, consider it spring cleaning time in July and ruthlessly clear out the things that are no longer serving your highest good. Set the intention and watch as people and situations clear out of your life with hardly an effort. You have a choice on what you are allowing in your life. You are not a powerless victim. Realize your power to change your life at any time. Will it feel scary at times? Yes. But will it also feel exciting? Yes. Are those two emotions easily parsed out? No, so choose to reframe your feelings as excitement rather than fear. This is where the adventure begins. Get excited about all of the things that can go right! Get excited that your future can look completely different from your past.

I have seen the cause and/or activation of issues for myself and others be traced back to childhood, the womb, at conception, past lives, or within the genetic line through my sessions in Holographic Kinetics. Our subconscious mind can lock in beliefs about ourselves and life that we then create from over and over. Our thoughts literally create our reality. Trauma from past lives as well as from distant family members can be passed down repeatedly until someone takes the time to clear and heal it. If you’ve been doing a lot of inner work, but you still feel like you have things holding you back that you can’t quite put a finger on, consider having an in-person Holographic Kinetics session with me. You can read more about Holographic Kinetics at http://www.holographickinetics.com. Feel free to reach out to me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com for more information.

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Picture reposted from IG:

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Question EVERYTHING!

I didn’t grow up within religion. The most religion I experienced as a kid was going to vacation bible school for a week in the summer with my best friend, Jimmy. I didn’t know how the other kids knew the answers to the questions being asked during out trivia games, because I had never learned such things. As I grew up, science became my religion. Starting in high school, I took a lot of biology classes, chemistry, conservation, math, and anatomy and physiology. I had dreams of becoming a heart surgeon at one point, and then a pediatrician or a nurse who works with babies. If you know me in real life, then you know how fitting these all became for me. From high school, I went to college and began taking more science classes. Botany, more chemistry, marine biology, physics, more math, zoology etc. Because I dove right into science which became my major, I graduated in 4 years despite having gone to 3 different colleges/universities.

Fast forward to the now moment. I am seeing how programmed we all are to become so left brain dominant. We are taught to seek ‘facts’ created through the scientific method, and found via our EXTREMELY limited 5 senses. My training in Holographic Kinetics in May opened my eyes to our true multidimensionality and the fact that nothing in this world is as it seems, especially the world we view with our senses.

And so I seek to further expand my mind. I have already given thanks in the past for the fact that religion is one thing that I didn’t have to deprogram from my mind. I’ve had enough work to do as it is as I’ve become an observer of my thoughts. This book I’m currently reading hits on this subject so beautifully for me. As a trained scientist, I shunned religion, but in a sense adopted science as my religion and believed what it told me. As I’ve worked to awaken my right brain to get in touch with my imagination, creativity, and intuition, I’ve had to let go of my tight grip on science. After my sessions in Holographic Kinetics, I realized that the ‘new age’ movement I had been subscribing to was also a form of religion convincing me that I need the help of spirit guides and crystals to manifest the things I was seeking. Nope.

The truth of the matter is that you and me, we’re both made from the same energy and are essentially Source/God in a human meat suit. We are infinite consciousness. As I’ve aligned with my own spirit and made that my priority, I’ve been able to manifest all sorts of things, big and small. We are such powerful creators, but we don’t realize it and so we’re walking around as gods praying to gods to help us. We’ve lost sight of our innate ability to help ourselves.

I’m not here to argue with peoples’ beliefs, I’m here to make people aware of their own power. I’ve always questioned things since I was a young child, never happy with an answer like “it’s just the way it is”, but even with that, I succumbed to the same programming that we’re all fed throughout our lives. Question EVERYTHING. Know that you have the ability to dream up and therefore create ANYTHING. Look to your own spirit’s guidance. Set your priority to raise your vibration and maintain it. How? Follow your joy. Follow your intuition. Set out to be the most authentic and vulnerable version of yourself. I raise my vibration and align with my spirit by spending time in nature (usually near and/or in water) doing fun things sometimes alone, sometimes with others, dancing, singing, drumming, meeting new people and connecting with them at a deep level, writing, empowering people through my mindfulness coaching, classes and Holographic Kinetics sessions. What lights you up? I suggest you do more of that and less giving your power away to anything outside of yourself.

Don’t accept every answer you’re given. Don’t believe everything that you hear or are taught in school. We already know that the history taught in schools is skewed, so we must consider that other information taught to us in school is also skewed. I’m talking elementary right on up the line through college/university. Case in point: I wasn’t taught about Lyme disease in nursing school. The closest we even touched the subject was because our instructor’s daughter had nearly died from it. And I know that doctors aren’t taught much about it either because I had quite the defensive responses from the group in on my care when a nurse practitioner diagnosed me with Lyme disease. Most told me that there isn’t Lyme here (uh, I know several who have gotten it while living here), and one doctor that I had previously really respected dismissed the diagnosis as well. Yet I tested positive and was under the care of Lyme specialists for years. Seems like an issue if the CDC is right in saying that Lyme is likely causing more like 300,000 new cases in the US every year vs the mere 30,000 that is being reported. Why? Doctors aren’t being trained on how to recognize Lyme clinically and are instead relying on blood tests that have already been proven to be ineffectual in most cases.

Start looking for the agenda behind things we deem as ‘routine’ and ‘normal’. Consider the fact that there is so much to this world that you haven’t learned about yet. Open your mind to your innate power. Open your mind to things currently outside of your belief system. I know that can be difficult, I’ve been there myself. I now loosely hold thoughts and beliefs as I realize that I could learn something new tomorrow that will make what I know today a thing of the past. My training in Holographic Kinetics changed everything for me. It’s not that I’ve just taken the Laws of LORE at face value, but I’ve experienced and witnessed things for myself first-hand that have proven them to be true. The world looks very different through the lens of an open mind.

Above picture is from page 24 of the book “Remember Who You Are” by David Icke.

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Fleeting Moments

Grief. It’s a tricky thing. I didn’t realize how much grief I had stored in my body until recently when I went and saw the movie “Five Feet Apart”, followed by crying at Rob Bell’s ‘An Introduction of Joy’, an amazing purging of emotions during a craniosacral therapy session, and followed today by nearly bursting into tears as I watched a little three-year-old boy in front of me in line at the grocery store. Isn’t that the way with grief? It comes up at the most seemingly unlikely of times. It hadn’t even been on my radar and then BOOM, there it was, over and over and over again.

I’ve asked for this. I’ve asked Source and my higher self to help clear out anything no longer serving me. I ask for it every time I shower. I ask the water to heal me and cleanse me of any energy or way of being that is no longer serving my highest good. Enter in emotions that have been stored deep within me being brought to the surface and into my conscious awareness to be healed once and for all. The things that have been coming up have caught me a bit off guard. It’s been from patients in the hospital who died on comfort care during my time of taking care of them. It’s come up for the loss of my father-in-law as his birthday just passed. It’s come up today for the grief I feel as a mother of a child who is growing and changing right in front of my eyes.

I have felt like my grief is sitting in my chest in a conglomerate of sorts, all jumbled up together in a ball of burnt, shredded and dismantled rubber from a tire that has blown out on a highway. It’s all there, melted together. Actual deaths and suicides of friends and family. Figurative deaths of my marriage, of my old self who processed everything as best she could at the time, the loss I feel from each year that my son grows and morphs into his next round of humanness. Relationships come and gone. Jobs come and gone. Places come and gone. Some things hit harder than others, even in my new understanding and beliefs of how this all works and the fact that I don’t believe any soul ever ‘dies’.

My experience and grief is relative. I do not mean to downplay or gloss over other kinds of grief by expressing my own experiences. I left the grocery store today in tears about my son’s growth, recorded a video about it, and then learned that a friend suffered a miscarriage. It only further reiterated the fragile nature of life and the importance of our appreciation and presence in all of the moments.

My grief was pushed down and avoided when I went to work or school and was trying to function in the world as I felt like crying, but put a smile on instead. When my sadness overcame me in the form of depression and wishing for death, I still had to find a way to live in the world. That dichotomy consumed me at times. The mask I wore nearly suffocated me. Can you relate?

I almost did that today. In fact, I suppose I did do that at the register as I watched the two young boys in front of me and awaited my turn to check out and pay. I dared not completely lose it and breakdown right then and there as I waited to pay. I saved that for a few moments later for when I expressed my gratitude to the Mom that I had remained in line behind her and her children after she had told me I could go ahead of her. I cried. I cried as I spoke of my son and his crocs and the fact that he was now nearly my size, and the fact that the time had moved so fast. I cried on my way to my car, got to my car and cried some more. I know from experience that this wasn’t only about my son. This was just a path of least resistance to have me open up and release years of grief stored within me. Tears have the power to cleanse us. Tears have the power to heal us, yet often, we hold them back.

I found myself basking in the ever present fleeting nature of this life, all the moments, and all the people who have crossed my path. I recorded this video in that moment. THIS is why I live the way I do. I have taken care of a patient in their 20’s on comfort care with AIDS, surrounded by their twin and rest of their family during their final moments of life. I witnessed and stored the pain felt by their family within my body. I nearly lost my own life with a baby at home depending on me for nourishment and love. While I am aware of my infinite, spiritual nature, I also know that in this body, in this time and space, I only have one shot to make the most of it. My pain has fueled my passion. My heartache has fueled my love. I would not be who I am without every single experience of my life, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

I don’t know how else to say it. Please allow other people’s stories to impact yours. Please snap out of the sleep you’re in and start living life to the fullest. Please enjoy the small moments, because they are in fact, the most important moments of our lives.

It’s a choice to follow your passion or go along with the status quo. It’s a choice to remain asleep in victim consciousness or to wake up to your full power as a co-creator in this life. It is a choice whether or not to remain present during all of your moments or to check out.

In my life so far, I have lived both ways. I have seen how feeling like a victim affected my life and I am a witness daily to the way that realizing my power to shape my reality has positively transformed my life. I know what I will continue to choose.

I will choose growth, expansion, and healing. I will choose placing my priority on my energetic vibration and my alignment with my higher self. I will choose to listen to a nudge from my intuition over the loud voices of the people and institutions surrounding me. I was asleep and desperately trying to numb my feelings and the energy of those around me for most of my life, and I will not go back to that way of being.

I will do my best to continue to do the real ‘adulting’ in this life which I believe is to say that I will do my best to feel my feelings in the moment. I have learned that when I feel feelings as they arise, they are much easier to handle and process. I have learned that feeling my feelings now means that I won’t store them in my body to process later or to have them surface as dis-ease or pain at a later date. I know that our feelings can overwhelm us. I understand why we’d oftentimes prefer to shut them off entirely. But what I have found is that those old feelings will hold us back in life until we feel and heal them once and for all. After all, energy is never destroyed, it is merely transformed. Unfelt feelings and trauma not dealt with only lead to pain, dis-ease, and suffering later in life.

I have learned that when I show up fully in my life, that my challenges stop creating stigma and start being a path for deeper connection and understanding with other humans. When I choose to open up in full authenticity and vulnerability, I find others who have had similar experiences to mine. I also find that giving myself the permission and space to open up gives others that same space and freedom. Everything starts with us and creates ripple effects outward. I think what we all really need is just the reminder that we are never alone in our struggles. That there are common threads that connect us all. Remember that we never know what someone is going through, so it’s critical that we treat people kindly, always. Remember to treat yourself kindly as well. This life isn’t a rehearsal. Are you present in your moments? Are you doing what you came here to do?

Thank you for being here on this journey with me. When I started this blog in 2017, I could have never known the freedom that it would give me to show up fully in my life. Writing here has helped me remove the compartments that I used to sort the various areas of my life into.

If you liked this post, please like and share it. In that way, we can create further ripple effects. Feel free to follow me on IG and/or FB for more content. I will be posting the video I recorded there as it won’t upload here. Sending you much love!