Our Thoughts Affect EVERYTHING!

This is from Esther and Jerry Hicks’ amazing book titled “Ask and It Is Given”.

YOUR THOUGHTS LITERALLY CREATE YOUR REALITY!

Every issue we have has a Cause. We experience something in this life or a past life (or an ancestor of ours has an experience) that causes us to lock in a belief about ourselves or life. Because we lock in that belief, we create situations that prove it true over and over again. That’s right, YOU are the powerful creator of your own reality. Often, this beliefs slip into our subconscious mind as most of them happen during childhood or at conception or while we’re in the womb. (Yes, the things you think about and do while you’re pregnant matter GREATLY, as your child’s spirit is present from the time of conception). We then create our lives from these subconscious beliefs and can end up feeling like a victim of circumstance vs the powerful creator that we are.

As creators of our reality, we are the only ones able to change it. In my sessions of Holographic Kinetics, I see time and again how issues began and am so grateful that I am able to offer people a way to not only receive more clarity on why their lives are the way they are, but also to assist them to clear the issues and create a new reality.

We’re all under pressure right now to clear out all of the things we’ve been carrying around that no longer serve our highest good. That can look like spring cleaning the entire house in August, purging old stuff we don’t use, ending relationships, quitting the job we hate, and finding healing modalities that allow us to clear our biggest issues still holding us back.

This release of the old is key to moving into a more magnificent new than we can even imagine in this NOW moment. We’re shifting up, and what’s to come is WAY better than what we’ve experienced so far! Trust your journey.❤️

Are You Being Bribed?

Look, I know not everyone hates their chosen profession that provides a salary, but how many do?! I didn’t hate my job the hospital, but I stopped enjoying it when the red tape was longer than the time I was able to actually be with my patients when they needed me. And regardless of that, the stress of the job began to negatively affect my health. I had my own primary FNP urge me to leave my job to protect my health. I had already lost my health once and almost died and I wasn’t willing to go through that again! After all, I had already learned up close and personal that I wouldn’t be able to buy my health back with money. A lesson a lot of people learn every day. So I jumped out of a $70,000+ a year career to save myself. You know what it feels like 1.5 years later? Worth. It!

Am I making even close to what I was then doing Holographic Kinetics and Mindfulness Coaching and Educating? Not yet. Not close. In fact, I could likely qualify for public assistance, but I’m living in a place of trust that all that I need is always provided for me, and it’s worked out so far. But on par with one of my last posts, what I need shows up when I need it, and not a moment sooner, because I am being taught by my spirit to live in the present moment only. How else are we to learn if we don’t surrender and trust to the flow of the Universe? Do I have some late bills? Yes. Am I freaking out about them? No. I’ve cultivated inner peace that exists regardless of anything outside of myself, which I believe is exactly the point. I no longer define my worth by my career or my income. I’ve never felt so confident in my life. Priceless.

I’m not the only one who had health issues in an RN job. Some stayed, some left, and some are on extended leave of absences (LOA’s), which essentially means that their job is creating physical, mental and/or emotional stress and they are forced to take a break from work. People put their health and their own dreams on the back burner in exchange for a paycheck. It’s bullshit. People get just enough to be ‘comfortable’, a state typically void of real LIVING and JOY. We tend to earn ‘just enough’ to pay on all of the debt we incurred from school, credit cards, mortgages, and cars. We have ‘enough’ to get by, but not to do the things we’ve been longing to do. If we do make enough to say travel, then we’ve got higher ups saying if and when we can take the vacation days we earned. Last year, after planning a trip to vacation with family in Hawaii, I was told that because the cycle sick time for kin hadn’t yet started over that I wouldn’t have enough PTO for my vacation, meaning that I wouldn’t be able to take it. I made sure to quit before then, because I was done living my life for other people, and only with other people’s permission while my own health suffered. Nope. See, that’s the beauty of a catastrophic health event, you become absolutely resolute about not repeating it, and you also start putting your own needs first for a change.

Our jobs sell us lots of stuff to get us hooked: salary, health insurance, paid sick leave, paid vacation time, and discounts in the cafeteria. Telling me that I accrue paid sick leave, but only letting me use it after I’ve had to call off of work for 3 consecutive days (and supply a doctor’s note), is not a perk, it’s a fake benefit. I guess it would have been there to fall back on after the job completed its duty of fully taking my health away, but I wasn’t staying to find out. It’s just something they ‘give’ us that makes us feel like we’re signing on with a company who cares about our well-being. All nurses have to dip into the vacation PTO days off that they earn with each paycheck in order to get a paid sick day off. And do you know how many days off a year a nurse is ‘allowed’ to call in before the hand slapping starts? Three, yes 3 days a YEAR. I needed health insurance when I was living a life of putting myself last, not so much when I’ve been living a life aligned with my own spirit.

You ever wonder what the hell you’re even doing here? Do you really think we’re meant to only work, pay bills, and die?! Ever notice how quick we are to accept the social ‘norms’ and the ‘way things have always been done’? If you’re not happy, you’re the only one who can change it. If you want a different life, you’re going to have to be willing to get really uncomfortable and creative in your next steps. The only time to live is NOW. When are we going to wake up and fully LIVE?

I’ve been meeting more and more people who jumped out of their good paying jobs to work for themselves and/or in places/positions that add happiness to their lives. It can be done. All of the material wealth in the world is not worth your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Look at all of the celebrities who keep killing themselves despite reaching the fame and fortune they set out to achieve. That should be a big wake up call to all of us. Money can’t buy you love, happiness, or joy. Learn to put your well-being and alignment above everything else. There’s much abundance, healing, happiness, joy, and peace to be found here in alignment. Following our intuition and joy to alignment isn’t about forgoing all responsibility. It’s about following inspired action vs feeling moved to some made up required action. It’s about manifesting everything you want and need that’s in sync with your own frequency in divine timing. It’s living in gratitude for all that you have vs only thinking about what you don’t have. It’s about being responsible for your own energy and what you’re bringing into the world. We help others when we help ourselves. We create change when we change ourselves. We lift each other up when we first lift ourselves up.

We don’t have to hustle if we align. Alignment gives way to inspired action which means that the things you do are fun even when they’re for ‘work’. We spend so much time working, so it’d be really smart to find something we enjoy doing. Does it really make sense that the only time we get to truly be free and live the life we want is after retirement when we’re in our 60’s? I’ve known people to die at 60 or mid-60’s. What if you retire at 65 and die at 75? Is 10 years of 75 years really the only time you want to enjoy and experience freedom?!?! What about the people working past retirement age because they feel forced to keep the health insurance? As a whole, are we really OK with this limiting set up?

Have you ever considered that we’re better followers when everything bombarding us makes us feel inferior, small, worthless, and reaching for things outside of ourselves for answers, support, and love? The program creates a void in us, and then creates solutions in the form of science, religion, gadgets, material items, new age beliefs to fill it when in fact, if we’d tune out the noise, we’d find that our natural state is well-being and that all of the answers we ever need exist within us. Nothing in this world is what it seems. We are all limitless, infinite consciousness in a rented human meat suit. We are powerful beyond measure and we are capable of SO much more than the long-accepted status quo. It’s go time! The time to live is NOW! What are you being bribed to do in life by money or fear of the unknown, or your need to feel in control?

Photo credit:

IG: motivation.squadx

If you’d like to tap into the wisdom of your spirit and clear some of the programming and beliefs that got locked into it during this life, previous lives, the genetic lines, or from inter dimensional interferences seeking control, then consider a session of Dreamtime Healing using Holographic Kinetics with me. All sessions are done in person. Issues are cleared on all levels and dimensions which means that they stop impacting your current life and future lives. Healing ripples back into previous generations as well as forward into future generations. Holographic Kinetics allows you and your spirit to take back control of your life without the things currently holding you back.

Thanks for reading along! If you like this post, please like and share it. Sending you all so much love!

Emotions vs. Physical Pain

For those of us who are very sensitive and feel the energy of everyone and everything around us (many people here right now), it can be really easy to get swept up in it all and lose ourselves. We grow up looking to the people around us for ways to cope with emotions, to cope with life. Many of their coping mechanisms were not healthy for them, therefore many of the coping mechanisms we learned are not healthy for us.

I had a friend tell me that it is easier to deal with physical pain than it is to feel their emotions. They hit the nail on the head, because they had learned early on to stuff their emotions deep down and just deal with them as the physical pain that they manifested as in their body. It shows how intense emotions can be for some of us. So intense that we’d rather experience the physical pain. Have you noticed this truth for yourself? Do you find that physical pain is easier to deal with than your emotions? Can you see how that belief causes you to push down your emotions while you create physical pain in your body? Yes, our thoughts and beliefs are THAT powerful.

I was in the same boat for most of my life. I coped with my emotional pain by stuffing them down. I felt EVERYTHING, and when it meant tension of parents who were usually fighting or not talking, I chose to live my life as small as possible to try and reduce the number of waves in the house. Did it work? No. I didn’t have the power to change the interpersonal dynamics happening around me. The waves were still there. I still felt everything and then on top of it, held myself back from activities that I knew would create issues. I got quiet and held in all of my confused emotions of fear, sadness, and anger about the situation in my house. I was there as a confidant to my Mom, because I began to feel that when others around me, especially my Mom, were OK around me, that I was OK. Otherwise I felt far from OK. This pattern has continued throughout my life. I realized during my own Holographic Kinetics sessions that my ability to feel all of the energy around me made me prone to take it on as my own, adjust my own being to not add to its ‘negative’ feeling nature, and to place more importance on how people around me were feeling rather than on how I was feeling. As you can imagine because you’re human too, learning to put my own needs last ended up being detrimental to my health. I struggled with depression for many years, and later had a mystery illness attack my heart. Take it from me, it’s extremely important that we put ourselves and our needs FIRST. It’s not selfish, it’s necessary.

After talking with my friend about it being easier to feel physical pain vs emotions, my ankle pain popped into my head. I remember most evenings sitting with my family in the living room watching TV as I cried and rubbed my sore ankles. The pain would shoot up from my ankles, up through my shins, and into my knees. I remember in those moments, trying to remember what it felt like when my ankles were’t hurting. I would just sit and wish that they weren’t hurting. My Mom would give me ibuprofen, which would help. I hated taking pills. I had so much trouble swallowing them.  I used to think that it was the shoes I was wearing, or the structure of my feet. But last week, I hiked in sandals not meant for hiking, or even walking long distances really. I hiked up and over granite boulders, through meadows, and over gravel and dirt, and I didn’t have ANY ankle pain AT ALL (or knee, or shin pain etc)! I can see how everything lined up to have me connect these dots right now. I was so concerned about my ankle pain that when I went to Alaska after college for an internship, I wondered if I would end up being in a lot of pain. I wasn’t, but my mind told me that it was because I was wearing good hiking boots that supported my feet well, and that I wasn’t walking on hard pavement.

In writing this post, it became clear to me why I felt so much pain in my ankles as a child. A quick search about emotions and ankle pain revealed that my issue wasn’t physical, but emotional. I had what felt like a lack of stability in my support system. I also felt like I had the weight of the world on me, because I was unconsciously taking the blame and responsibility for the stress in my house. The weight became too much to bear, and my ankle pain was also unbearable at times. Interesting as well is that I sprained my ankles several times as a kid. I was literally feeling a lack of support in my life that was expressing itself in a lack of support in my own physical body! I learned to build my own support system. I stayed with friends a lot. In high school, I had a really great boyfriend with a family who supported and encouraged me. Looking back, as he went off to college during my senior year of high school, my self-created support system was shaken, and I sprained my ankle pretty severely the week or so before school started and he left to go out of state for college. Now I can see how it all fits together, and it makes so much sense. I had trouble feeling and coping with my big emotions and the situation around me, so it all showed up as physical ailments. As it turns out, the fact that I have become my own support system and have learned to feel my feelings is all that I needed to ‘cure’ my ankle problems. Also, I have an AMAZING support system made of family and dear friends. Are you allowing yourself to feel your own emotions? Are they showing up as physical pain in your body? Are you taking on pain and stress from people around you?

It has taken me the better part of 40 years to learn the real secret. That emotions, like everything else in this life, are fleeting and that the best way to handle them is to feel them when they arise. It has taken lots of practice to not stuff my emotions down. This can mean that I allow myself to cry at apparently inopportune times like when I’m processing big shifts and the emotion wells up in me like a tidal wave and the tears begin to stream down my cheeks at my favorite coffee shop. How many times have you held back tears? Why? I’ve held them back at work before like when I was working in the hospital and had a lot going on in my personal life, which feels appropriate except that I even held back in the break room away from patients, families, and coworkers. We have been taught that feeling our emotions and god forbid expressing them outwardly makes us weak, even more so for men who are taught from a young age that they need to be strong and keep going through their hardships without stopping to feel, to cry. Ironically, as more and more people allow themselves to feel and express their emotions as they arise, we are going to create a world community that is stronger than ever. Emotions are real life, they aren’t weak. I see so much strength in the face of a man who has tears flowing down his face. I know that he is fighting against the norm of what he’s been taught to do his whole life. And wow do I think it’s really fucking beautiful! I feel so incredibly grateful for the men in my life who have felt safe enough with me to express the full range of their emotions in front of me. We all need you to keep feeling and releasing.

Several years ago, as I had a big relationship/friendship end just before my dog of 14 years died, I thought that I would spiral into a severe depression. Honestly, the relationship had been over for some time by this point, so I had already prepared myself for it’s end. But nothing can really prepare a person for their dog dying. That pain was intense to say the least and I am still so grateful that a dear friend of mine offered to drive me to and from the veterinarian. It would not have been safe for me to drive myself. I left that office completely beside myself. I cried for the better part of two days straight. I called into work sick for two days and I don’t regret it one bit. It is VITALLY important for us to recognize these moments in our lives when we need to make space for ourselves to feel the full range of our emotions and to release them through a river of tears. No person, situation, or job is more important for us than giving ourselves that kind of love and space to feel how we feel in the moment. It is always better to let other people down than to let yourself down. Send a strong message to your body mind spirit, and Source that YOU ARE IMPORTANT. You can do this by taking good care of yourself.

At this point in my life, feeling my emotions as I have them has become MUCH more appealing to me than having pain in my physical body. It is natural that when we’re children, we experience things as trauma, both large and small events, because everything feels so big and important to us. We get overwhelmed easily and make up stories about what we’re experiencing, and so we stuff down our emotions and forget about the traumas that created them.  I have also learned how to separate my energy out from other’s energy, which prevents me from getting so overwhelmed by the energy circulating outside of myself. Working as an RN in the hospital really enabled me to hone that skill, because I was surrounded by so many varying sources of energy.

We’ve done ourselves a disservice because we’ve got a country full of people who are numbing their feelings with drugs, alcohol, other people, sugar, gossip, screen time, work etc. People have more dis-ease and more chronic pain. And we’ve been taught that the way to move beyond our dis-ease and pain is to seek solutions outside of ourselves. While western medicine does have its place, start viewing your body as a messenger. Get quiet and start tuning into the wisdom of your own body as you’re trying to get answers about the way things are physically manifesting. What stressors are you currently dealing with? Have you been ignoring your intuition about something? Are you feeling a lot of fear, anger, guilt? What food are you feeding your body and mind? Are the things/people/situations you’re allowing into your life lifting you up or tearing you down? If you answered with the latter, consider it spring cleaning time in July and ruthlessly clear out the things that are no longer serving your highest good. Set the intention and watch as people and situations clear out of your life with hardly an effort. You have a choice on what you are allowing in your life. You are not a powerless victim. Realize your power to change your life at any time. Will it feel scary at times? Yes. But will it also feel exciting? Yes. Are those two emotions easily parsed out? No, so choose to reframe your feelings as excitement rather than fear. This is where the adventure begins. Get excited about all of the things that can go right! Get excited that your future can look completely different from your past.

I have seen the cause and/or activation of issues for myself and others be traced back to childhood, the womb, at conception, past lives, or within the genetic line through my sessions in Holographic Kinetics. Our subconscious mind can lock in beliefs about ourselves and life that we then create from over and over. Our thoughts literally create our reality. Trauma from past lives as well as from distant family members can be passed down repeatedly until someone takes the time to clear and heal it. If you’ve been doing a lot of inner work, but you still feel like you have things holding you back that you can’t quite put a finger on, consider having an in-person Holographic Kinetics session with me. You can read more about Holographic Kinetics at http://www.holographickinetics.com. Feel free to reach out to me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com for more information.

Thank you for reading along. If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Sending you all so much love!

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Question EVERYTHING!

I didn’t grow up within religion. The most religion I experienced as a kid was going to vacation bible school for a week in the summer with my best friend, Jimmy. I didn’t know how the other kids knew the answers to the questions being asked during out trivia games, because I had never learned such things. As I grew up, science became my religion. Starting in high school, I took a lot of biology classes, chemistry, conservation, math, and anatomy and physiology. I had dreams of becoming a heart surgeon at one point, and then a pediatrician or a nurse who works with babies. If you know me in real life, then you know how fitting these all became for me. From high school, I went to college and began taking more science classes. Botany, more chemistry, marine biology, physics, more math, zoology etc. Because I dove right into science which became my major, I graduated in 4 years despite having gone to 3 different colleges/universities.

Fast forward to the now moment. I am seeing how programmed we all are to become so left brain dominant. We are taught to seek ‘facts’ created through the scientific method, and found via our EXTREMELY limited 5 senses. My training in Holographic Kinetics in May opened my eyes to our true multidimensionality and the fact that nothing in this world is as it seems, especially the world we view with our senses.

And so I seek to further expand my mind. I have already given thanks in the past for the fact that religion is one thing that I didn’t have to deprogram from my mind. I’ve had enough work to do as it is as I’ve become an observer of my thoughts. This book I’m currently reading hits on this subject so beautifully for me. As a trained scientist, I shunned religion, but in a sense adopted science as my religion and believed what it told me. As I’ve worked to awaken my right brain to get in touch with my imagination, creativity, and intuition, I’ve had to let go of my tight grip on science. After my sessions in Holographic Kinetics, I realized that the ‘new age’ movement I had been subscribing to was also a form of religion convincing me that I need the help of spirit guides and crystals to manifest the things I was seeking. Nope.

The truth of the matter is that you and me, we’re both made from the same energy and are essentially Source/God in a human meat suit. We are infinite consciousness. As I’ve aligned with my own spirit and made that my priority, I’ve been able to manifest all sorts of things, big and small. We are such powerful creators, but we don’t realize it and so we’re walking around as gods praying to gods to help us. We’ve lost sight of our innate ability to help ourselves.

I’m not here to argue with peoples’ beliefs, I’m here to make people aware of their own power. I’ve always questioned things since I was a young child, never happy with an answer like “it’s just the way it is”, but even with that, I succumbed to the same programming that we’re all fed throughout our lives. Question EVERYTHING. Know that you have the ability to dream up and therefore create ANYTHING. Look to your own spirit’s guidance. Set your priority to raise your vibration and maintain it. How? Follow your joy. Follow your intuition. Set out to be the most authentic and vulnerable version of yourself. I raise my vibration and align with my spirit by spending time in nature (usually near and/or in water) doing fun things sometimes alone, sometimes with others, dancing, singing, drumming, meeting new people and connecting with them at a deep level, writing, empowering people through my mindfulness coaching, classes and Holographic Kinetics sessions. What lights you up? I suggest you do more of that and less giving your power away to anything outside of yourself.

Don’t accept every answer you’re given. Don’t believe everything that you hear or are taught in school. We already know that the history taught in schools is skewed, so we must consider that other information taught to us in school is also skewed. I’m talking elementary right on up the line through college/university. Case in point: I wasn’t taught about Lyme disease in nursing school. The closest we even touched the subject was because our instructor’s daughter had nearly died from it. And I know that doctors aren’t taught much about it either because I had quite the defensive responses from the group in on my care when a nurse practitioner diagnosed me with Lyme disease. Most told me that there isn’t Lyme here (uh, I know several who have gotten it while living here), and one doctor that I had previously really respected dismissed the diagnosis as well. Yet I tested positive and was under the care of Lyme specialists for years. Seems like an issue if the CDC is right in saying that Lyme is likely causing more like 300,000 new cases in the US every year vs the mere 30,000 that is being reported. Why? Doctors aren’t being trained on how to recognize Lyme clinically and are instead relying on blood tests that have already been proven to be ineffectual in most cases.

Start looking for the agenda behind things we deem as ‘routine’ and ‘normal’. Consider the fact that there is so much to this world that you haven’t learned about yet. Open your mind to your innate power. Open your mind to things currently outside of your belief system. I know that can be difficult, I’ve been there myself. I now loosely hold thoughts and beliefs as I realize that I could learn something new tomorrow that will make what I know today a thing of the past. My training in Holographic Kinetics changed everything for me. It’s not that I’ve just taken the Laws of LORE at face value, but I’ve experienced and witnessed things for myself first-hand that have proven them to be true. The world looks very different through the lens of an open mind.

Above picture is from page 24 of the book “Remember Who You Are” by David Icke.

Thanks for reading along. If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG! Sending you all so much love!

Fleeting Moments

Grief. It’s a tricky thing. I didn’t realize how much grief I had stored in my body until recently when I went and saw the movie “Five Feet Apart”, followed by crying at Rob Bell’s ‘An Introduction of Joy’, an amazing purging of emotions during a craniosacral therapy session, and followed today by nearly bursting into tears as I watched a little three-year-old boy in front of me in line at the grocery store. Isn’t that the way with grief? It comes up at the most seemingly unlikely of times. It hadn’t even been on my radar and then BOOM, there it was, over and over and over again.

I’ve asked for this. I’ve asked Source and my higher self to help clear out anything no longer serving me. I ask for it every time I shower. I ask the water to heal me and cleanse me of any energy or way of being that is no longer serving my highest good. Enter in emotions that have been stored deep within me being brought to the surface and into my conscious awareness to be healed once and for all. The things that have been coming up have caught me a bit off guard. It’s been from patients in the hospital who died on comfort care during my time of taking care of them. It’s come up for the loss of my father-in-law as his birthday just passed. It’s come up today for the grief I feel as a mother of a child who is growing and changing right in front of my eyes.

I have felt like my grief is sitting in my chest in a conglomerate of sorts, all jumbled up together in a ball of burnt, shredded and dismantled rubber from a tire that has blown out on a highway. It’s all there, melted together. Actual deaths and suicides of friends and family. Figurative deaths of my marriage, of my old self who processed everything as best she could at the time, the loss I feel from each year that my son grows and morphs into his next round of humanness. Relationships come and gone. Jobs come and gone. Places come and gone. Some things hit harder than others, even in my new understanding and beliefs of how this all works and the fact that I don’t believe any soul ever ‘dies’.

My experience and grief is relative. I do not mean to downplay or gloss over other kinds of grief by expressing my own experiences. I left the grocery store today in tears about my son’s growth, recorded a video about it, and then learned that a friend suffered a miscarriage. It only further reiterated the fragile nature of life and the importance of our appreciation and presence in all of the moments.

My grief was pushed down and avoided when I went to work or school and was trying to function in the world as I felt like crying, but put a smile on instead. When my sadness overcame me in the form of depression and wishing for death, I still had to find a way to live in the world. That dichotomy consumed me at times. The mask I wore nearly suffocated me. Can you relate?

I almost did that today. In fact, I suppose I did do that at the register as I watched the two young boys in front of me and awaited my turn to check out and pay. I dared not completely lose it and breakdown right then and there as I waited to pay. I saved that for a few moments later for when I expressed my gratitude to the Mom that I had remained in line behind her and her children after she had told me I could go ahead of her. I cried. I cried as I spoke of my son and his crocs and the fact that he was now nearly my size, and the fact that the time had moved so fast. I cried on my way to my car, got to my car and cried some more. I know from experience that this wasn’t only about my son. This was just a path of least resistance to have me open up and release years of grief stored within me. Tears have the power to cleanse us. Tears have the power to heal us, yet often, we hold them back.

I found myself basking in the ever present fleeting nature of this life, all the moments, and all the people who have crossed my path. I recorded this video in that moment. THIS is why I live the way I do. I have taken care of a patient in their 20’s on comfort care with AIDS, surrounded by their twin and rest of their family during their final moments of life. I witnessed and stored the pain felt by their family within my body. I nearly lost my own life with a baby at home depending on me for nourishment and love. While I am aware of my infinite, spiritual nature, I also know that in this body, in this time and space, I only have one shot to make the most of it. My pain has fueled my passion. My heartache has fueled my love. I would not be who I am without every single experience of my life, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

I don’t know how else to say it. Please allow other people’s stories to impact yours. Please snap out of the sleep you’re in and start living life to the fullest. Please enjoy the small moments, because they are in fact, the most important moments of our lives.

It’s a choice to follow your passion or go along with the status quo. It’s a choice to remain asleep in victim consciousness or to wake up to your full power as a co-creator in this life. It is a choice whether or not to remain present during all of your moments or to check out.

In my life so far, I have lived both ways. I have seen how feeling like a victim affected my life and I am a witness daily to the way that realizing my power to shape my reality has positively transformed my life. I know what I will continue to choose.

I will choose growth, expansion, and healing. I will choose placing my priority on my energetic vibration and my alignment with my higher self. I will choose to listen to a nudge from my intuition over the loud voices of the people and institutions surrounding me. I was asleep and desperately trying to numb my feelings and the energy of those around me for most of my life, and I will not go back to that way of being.

I will do my best to continue to do the real ‘adulting’ in this life which I believe is to say that I will do my best to feel my feelings in the moment. I have learned that when I feel feelings as they arise, they are much easier to handle and process. I have learned that feeling my feelings now means that I won’t store them in my body to process later or to have them surface as dis-ease or pain at a later date. I know that our feelings can overwhelm us. I understand why we’d oftentimes prefer to shut them off entirely. But what I have found is that those old feelings will hold us back in life until we feel and heal them once and for all. After all, energy is never destroyed, it is merely transformed. Unfelt feelings and trauma not dealt with only lead to pain, dis-ease, and suffering later in life.

I have learned that when I show up fully in my life, that my challenges stop creating stigma and start being a path for deeper connection and understanding with other humans. When I choose to open up in full authenticity and vulnerability, I find others who have had similar experiences to mine. I also find that giving myself the permission and space to open up gives others that same space and freedom. Everything starts with us and creates ripple effects outward. I think what we all really need is just the reminder that we are never alone in our struggles. That there are common threads that connect us all. Remember that we never know what someone is going through, so it’s critical that we treat people kindly, always. Remember to treat yourself kindly as well. This life isn’t a rehearsal. Are you present in your moments? Are you doing what you came here to do?

Thank you for being here on this journey with me. When I started this blog in 2017, I could have never known the freedom that it would give me to show up fully in my life. Writing here has helped me remove the compartments that I used to sort the various areas of my life into.

If you liked this post, please like and share it. In that way, we can create further ripple effects. Feel free to follow me on IG and/or FB for more content. I will be posting the video I recorded there as it won’t upload here. Sending you much love!

Let’s Erase the Stigma of Mental Health

Seriously. No one should feel bad or ashamed, because they go to a therapist. We need to erase the stigma surrounding mental health in this country.

When I was battling severe depression, it was doubly exhausting to feel the weight of the world on my shoulders as I felt the need to hide my issues from others. Anyone with depression knows, it zaps your energy enough to then put so much into keeping it all a secret. But at the time, it felt necessary for me. I felt ashamed and less than because I was struggling with a sadness so severe that I could barely function. It made me have an anxiety attack once just to go and talk casually with a potential new employer about work I really wanted to do for them, because the thought of having to be ‘on’ and ‘sell myself’ was THAT overwhelming. It was also no fun to be on the verge of tears literally all the time, yet still have to go to work and hold them back. I avoided talking to people. I avoided phone calls. I avoided as much life as I possibly could. I always worried that my secret would be found out, which at the time terrified me. I felt like I was broken.

Just taking the steps to find my first therapist was daunting. But that step ended up being crucial to turning things around. I went to someone who had me try loads of natural supplements and even a SAD light as I was living in a rainy, gray Oregon winter at the time. When none of those worked, we moved onto medications. First Prozac which helped me immensely at the time. Then there became a need for less side effects, so I saw a psychiatrist to have my meds adjusted. Moved onto Wellbutrin. Then eventually landed on Lexapro. The names of medications don’t really matter, because they’re what I needed at the time. I write this for anyone else who has struggled with depression and has taken multiple medications before finding the ‘right’ one. There was a time when I thought I’d be taking Lexapro indefinitely, because of how my doctors believed my Lyme Disease was affecting me.

You are not alone. Many of us deal with mental illness and most don’t talk about it. I’ve been able to move past my years of depression, with appreciation that I’ve experienced such lows in my life. Those things we’re most ashamed of tend to connect us the most deeply with our fellow humans. This human life can be really difficult. We aren’t taught positive ways to cope, so we end up getting completely overwhelmed when challenges inevitably arise. If you’re like me, then you may relate to the fact that I used to internalize everything happening around me as something that was my fault. As a child growing up in a tense household, I took all of the negative energy on as my own and it was the start of my depression. I felt confused, alone, and unlovable.

It is my hope that in sharing, I can help remove the stigma for just one person currently being challenged by mental illness. You are not alone. Do not be ashamed of needing to see a therapist. It’s brave of you to take that step and you should be proud of yourself for recognizing when you need help and asking for it. I know none of it is easy for you.

Know that many therapists will offer a sliding scale if you lack insurance that covers it. Don’t let money stop you. There are ways. If you’re a student, check in with your school. One of the best counselors I ever went to was at the community college I attended for nursing school. She was in training, but she was the best for offering practical and positive ways to cope with my stressors at the time, which was my health crisis.

Know too that you might not find the ‘right’ therapist for you on the first try. I have been to several and they are not all the same. I’ve had some that were a good fit and some that were a terrible fit. I was once so overwhelmed with life that I asked my therapist directly for positive coping mechanisms to get me through the stress I was feeling. She didn’t offer me any that day, and I never went back to her again. You know yourself better than anyone. If you’re not having a good experience with your therapist, trust yourself and find a new one. Of course be mindful that you’re not just sabotaging it, because you never wanted to go in the first place. But your therapist should help you feel better overall, and you should feel safe and heard.

Pay attention to your intuition or repeating messages. Is a particular office calling to you? Do people around you keep mentioning the name of the SAME therapist to you? Do you keep seeing an advertisement for a particular therapist over and over? Follow those leads, because your higher self is guiding you. Trust it.

Thank you for reading! If you like this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG and Facebook for more positive content and perspective on life. Much love!

Intuitive Eating

I’m seeing all of the posts about Nipsey Hussle’s death and the fact that he was working on a documentary exposing the natural healing work of Dr. Sebi. From what I have read, Dr. Sebi’s work, in part, was pointing us towards an alkaline, plant-based diet. It is known to be healing and is thought to prevent dis-eases such as cancer. The work of Dr. Sebi was known in the 1980’s. He had published that a cure for AIDS had been found after he had cured people with AIDS. He was taken to federal court and won.

People have to be told like a public service announcement that fruits and vegetables are the healthiest options for us. I think all too often, like most other things, people have shut off their intuition in exchange for following the crowd. This presents in food as fad diets. It seems like everyone is on some kind of specialized diet these days. But what if we’re meant to listen to our own bodies?

I have come to realize that the best way to eat is by following my intuition. Our intuition can be a guide for EVERYTHING! It’s like our own, personal, specialized system geared towards returning OUR body to it’s perfect state of wellness.

We get off track when we choose to ignore the way foods make us feel. When we eat something even though it makes us feel terrible, we are in fact ignoring messages from our bodies and our intuition. I think a decision based in self-love would be choosing to eat what makes us feel good, and gives us more energy and vitality. I get it, a lot of things sold at the grocery store and restaurants make us feel bad when we eat them, so then what DO we eat?!

In my experience over the last 8 months, I eat more fruits and vegetables. I’ve been led to a diet that is vegan, but I also don’t eat gluten or soy. I don’t drink alcohol. Why? Because I’ve noticed that I feel terrible after I eat/drink those things. I started paying attention to how everything I ate or drank made me feel. If something makes me feel good, I eat or drink more of it. If it makes me feel bad, I eliminate it. And what I am realizing is that I have been naturally led to a plant-based, alkaline diet.

When we ignore messages from our bodies, the messages get louder. I had noticed small things going on with my health long before my heart nearly failed. I didn’t realize they were happening because of something I was doing: ignoring my heart and intuition.

We can all learn to tap into and use our intuition to heal ourselves. It’s not easy work when you realize the work it’s going to take to finally face past traumas and trapped emotions in order to get healthy again, but the work is worth it. Our physical ailments usually don’t happen over night which means the patterns that got us there won’t change over night. But we CAN change them.

If we learn to follow our intuition, it strengthens and becomes easier to use. When we stop doing things that don’t feel good, we are putting our well-being first which is key to healing ourselves.

Our minds are very powerful, so we must also be mindful of what we are saying about the things we’re doing or eating/drinking. If we’re choosing to eat the dessert, it does us no good to talk and think about how bad it is for us the entire time we eat it. You’re essentially cursing the food you eat as opposed to blessing it. That food’s negative effects are then compounded. Whereas, when I go to the Sikh Temple and partake in Langar after worship, I am grateful for their sharing and I eat the flat bread offered. They bless their food during the entire time of worship and I set the intention that it will bless and nourish my body. It’s my exception for gluten during the week, and I notice I don’t have problems with it later. I believe there is a lot of power in blessing our food and water before we consume it.

Notice the difference in how you feel when you curse your food vs bless it. I have come to learn that our thoughts play a primary role in our wellness or dis-ease. Get quiet and pay attention to your thoughts about food. Pay attention to what your intuition and body are telling you to eat or avoid. You can heal yourself.❤️

Picture from post by the_enlighten_core on Instagram

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