You ever have something keep showing up for you repeatedly, yet completely miss it?
Yeah, that’s been my relationship with peacocks. I realized recently that peacock might have a message for me. I laughed as I thought of the peacock earrings I’ve been wearing daily for probably a year or more, the peacock Halloween costume I have worn several times over the last 7 years. The long skirt I had gotten even before that costume that looked like peacock feathers. Among many other times I reflected that peacock has made an appearance in my life! And as I was laughing with one of my best friends about it recently, I looked up and saw this tiny Polaroid of a peacock I’ve had on my mantel since my friend, Avi, gave it to me last year! Not only that, but they just. keep. appearing.
It’s funny because I was once told that one of my spirit guides is Quan Yin. I have been seeing that name pop up a lot lately and now I see that the peacock has been associated with her.
I have been guided, over the last several years especially, to lead with my heart and show up fully without regards to what people will think of me. I know that when we give ourselves permission to step fully into our power as bright explosions of ourselves, we give others the permission to do the same. Authenticity is a KEY to getting into alignment with our own spirit, and alignment is KEY to experiencing all the magic that life has to offer!
Peacocks don’t give a shit. They’re confident in themselves regardless of what’s going on around them. They are fearless in their expression. They don’t hide their true colors, they flaunt them. And they definitely don’t hold back their truth for fear of what others will think of them. Not everyone is going to like their bright feathers, and they’re OK with that. They don’t need anyone else to like or understand them, because they like and understand themselves and they’re just doing them. I have been learning to do the same. The peacock moves through the world just doing what peacocks do. They don’t doubt, they don’t question, they don’t hold back. Peacocks trust. They know they’re going to find their path/mate/tribe as long as they keep showing up just as they are. They know that the things/other peacocks meant for them will be drawn to them like a magnet. It’s what they experience over and over again. Show their full beauty and attract all that they desire. Wow, such wise beings, right?!
I have never been as confident in myself as I am right now. I was building it and gained so much confidence following my training in Holographic Kinetics. It was a noticeable shift right away. It feels electric and grounding simultaneously. I feel myself stepping more into my power all the time. Learning to fully recognize and embody the energy of my spirit while setting healthy energetic boundaries for myself. Working with and feeling my shift internally, cocooning to integrate the lessons and allow myself to adjust myself to the new levels of energy, and then seeing the shift in my outer world. My word for 2020 is empowered. I can see that peacock has been sharing its flamboyant energy with me to help propel me into my full empowerment. Thank you, peacock.
I am very synced with animals and find that I’ve had so many beautiful animal messengers land on my path throughout my lifetime. The animals shift as I move along my path. They always carry the message I need at the time. Jellyfish is my spirit animal, but I am so grateful for all of animals who have touched my life.
What animal(s) hold messages for you? Do you know what your spirit animal is? Is there a repeating animal showing up for you right now?
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Dancing has never just been about dancing. The indigenous people around the globe know it. The church has known it (which is why some have tried to stop it from happening in the past). There is a true freedom that arises when we dance. A pure joy that emanates from the spiritual beings that we are. A swirling and igniting of energies that ripple out from our own field and connect with the earth, the spirits of everything in nature, and each other. Expressing ourselves fully through free-form movement and dance can change the world!
I have found that being authentic, following my joy, and following my intuition (guidance from my own spirit) has led to my alignment with my own spirit. Alignment is the KEY to everything we seek! Well-being of body, mind, and spirit, inner peace and a sense of fulfillment, happiness, love, freedom, and abundance. Our alignment holds the answers for all of the questions we seek answers to in regards to the meaning of our life and our purpose this go around.
When we dance, we tap into our true nature. We can set intentions when we dance to create and send love out into the universe. By doing so, we extend even more positive energy out into the world from living our joy and dancing!
Dance more! Shine your light! Your energy ripples out into the world and affects everyone and everything. Be mindful of the kinds of ripples you’re creating. Follow your joy! Allow yourself to thrive! DANCE ALIGN ELEVATE THRIVE!
I’m on a cloud today after speaking at Visalia Talks & Wine last night about “Healing Depression with Mindfulness and Holographic Kinetics”. I shared some deep parts of my personal experiences with depression and suicide. Stay tuned, because I’ll be posting the video of it when it’s ready! I know it was the first of many such opportunities and I’m so excited!! Thank you to @kelseylowshow for creating the event and being so dang amazing and for everyone who took the time to come to the event and connect with me afterwards! I am so grateful!
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When I traveled to Australia in 2018, I went on a driving tour in Western Australia from Perth to Broome. It was such a profound experience for me that I have yet to complete the post about it. It was time spent camping and hiking in some of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen in my life.
Once in Broome, I didn’t really get to spend much time there. We went straight to the beach where we stayed through sunset and then went onto have dinner together one last time at a local brewery. There was some dancing and singing near the beach and maybe some nighttime skinny dipping followed by a night in a hostel. A quick early morning walk to the beach at sunrise and then I was on the shuttle to the airport by 7 am or so. I really loved the energy there a lot and talked to some really nice people.
I bought this book, “Traditional Healers of Central Australia: Ngangkari” at the Broome airport that morning. It immediately became a prized possession of mine. At that time, I had been working as a Reiki Practitioner and as someone who had always been fascinated by aboriginal culture, I was really drawn to learning more about aboriginal healers. I carried it in my hands to make sure it stayed protected and read it during my flights. I really love this book and the unique window it gives the reader into the way the Ngangkari were selected and also how the healing knowledge and abilities were passed down through the generations. The stories contained within the pages of this book make it a sacred text. These things have never been written down before. The Ngangkari’s ways work. They did not need the medical system. They healed each other. Finally some clinics recognize their abilities and have them practicing their healing.
One of the most interesting things that happened as I traveled in Australia was that on the plane from Broome to Perth, I began to sob. Like really sob, not just have tears welling up in my eyes. I truly felt like I was leaving home. It hurt my heart to leave. I didn’t experience that again during any of my other flights from Perth to Sydney or Sydney to Los Angeles, California. It was only as I left Broome.
Once I was home, I realized that there was something specific about Broome that had made me feel that way. Namely, I began to believe that I’ve lived a past life there. You see, I had been pulled to travel to Australia my whole life. Red rock and turquoise ocean are my absolute FAVORITES and Broome has both right next to each other! I’ve been fascinated by aboriginal culture and would watch documentaries in college about them. The are that I love to do involves a lot of repeating elements that happily sit and draw for hours in a meditative state where time doesn’t exist. In my 20’s, I lived as a modern-day nomad traveling around the US working for projects that were helping wildlife while I camped, hiked, and backpacked for work. I’ve always loved being outside and feel quite at home in it.
I did searches to find out about the indigenous people of the area and found the Yawuru. During this time, I also did research on aboriginal healing and read some books about it. This search eventually led me to find Holographic Kinetics which is a powerful healing modality based on Dreamtime Healing.
In becoming a Holographic Kinetics Practitioner, I have come to see first-hand that past lives are real, and not only that, but that we live many lives as other things like plants, insects, and other animals prior to coming into human bodies. I have witnessed first-hand as a person’s spirit took them back to a time when they were a dog, a duck, and even a seed of a sunflower and locked in trauma that was affecting them in this life. This knowledge of past lives has only strengthened my belief that I have lived in Broome, Australia before.
When we are drawn to certain places, time periods, hobbies, and activities that feel innate to us, but maybe don’t quite make sense for our lives so far or maybe we realize things really early on in our lives, they’re most likely coming from a past life. As time is a linear human construct, everything that ever happened is happening now and will happen again. That’s why the NOW moment is everything. It’s all happening in this moment. Our past lives aren’t really taking place in the past, but are happening right now, concurrently with this one. If we experience trauma in a past life, then it gets locked in at the spirit level and can get activated by an event in this life, and can actually be reactivated over and over during this lifetime if we don’t heal it.
In the Holographic Kinetics sessions that I’ve had and also performed for others, I see time and time again how much our past lives can be affecting our current life. This is why for me, I’ve been keeping a list of things my spirit has been giving me clarity on recently that need cleared at the spirit level during my next Holographic Kinetics session. I’ve decided that for the big repeating issues in my life that are making the biggest waves, Holographic Kinetics is my go-to modality, because I want to get to the root cause and change it at the spirit level, so that it stops repeating in this life and future lives.
Looking upon my life as an observer, almost as if I’m watching a movie, causes me to look at my life as a series of clues about who I am at my core, at the spirit level. Knowing our spirit helps us align with it. If you feel compelled to visit a certain place or do a specific thing, I urge you to do it, because you will learn a lot about yourself while aligning more with your own spirit. Alignment with our own spirit is the most important thing we can do in this life.
You can watch more about the Ngangkari HERE.
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An event is traumatic, because it causes us to decide something about ourselves or about life that we then create from ever after. In the moment of a traumatic event, we lock in beliefs that life then continues to prove true, since what we believe we experience. The event can cause a lot of pain and suffering in the moment, but it’s our continual reliving of the beliefs we acquired through it that truly cause us to suffer over and over again.
It is my changed perspective about myself and life that continues to shape my experience, not the original traumatic event itself. We are powerful creators, so if something makes us decide at some point at conception or beyond that we are not worthy of love, then we will create situations and relationships over and over again to prove that belief. I had that cycle repeating in my own life. Luckily, through my personal sessions of Holographic Kinetics, I was able to clear that belief at the spirit level, so I no longer have to carry it around to have it surface time and again in this life and future lives. Phew!
So much of what we come to know about ourselves and the world is taught to us within a system that places more value on our physical reality than on the fact that we are all spiritual beings having a temporary human experience. Our multidimensionality and that of the universe tends to be completely overlooked. So, a lot of spiritual information then doesn’t tend to fit neatly into the confines of what we’ve been taught our whole lives. This leads to major disconnect and feelings of dis-ease. We begin bottling up the things we think or feel that don’t fit with what we’ve been told by our families, teachers, friends, and the organizations to which we belong (Wow, organizations we belong to, think on that for a minute. I personally don’t want to ‘belong’ to any organization). We sometimes label these things as “wrong”, or have the people we open up to do it for us. The reality is that usually the discourse we feel is because our own inner knowing doesn’t match up with what we’re being told/taught. I have learned to always trust the inner knowing above everything else. We have all of the answers we seek inside of us.
The reality is that the world we live in is nothing as it seems. We have been taught to place so much importance on the outer world and things out of our control that we’ve lost sight of the fact that WE are the ones that can free and heal ourselves. To take our power back means to stop giving it away to others. We’ve got to snap out of victim-mode ASAP. There is no one else to blame if we continue to relive our traumas and not do the work to get out of the cycle of similarity we’ve become trapped in by our own beliefs. I’m not saying it’s easy, but I am saying it’s necessary if we want to finally start listening to the nudges of our spirits and break free from old patterns and programming, so that we can get on with living our best lives.
I have done a lot of inner work. I keep being guided deeper and deeper to clear more and more from my past. We are so powerful that we can set intentions and tell our spirits what we want, and then notice that we will be guided to the people, situations, and resources to help us. How many of you set an intention to level up and/or clear out what was no longer serving you and have experienced people and situations clearing out of your life in record speeds this year? We asked for all of it. Right now, I am being urged to drive several hours away to the nearest practitioner to have another Holographic Kinetics session. As I’ve cleared issues on my own, and through HK, other issues have moved to the surface as the next important parts in need of healing. Remember, the growth and healing doesn’t stop until we die. But, in my own experience, it does stop feeling so severe, because I can more easily recognize what is happening. If you are being guided to a specific type of healing, I urge you to follow it. When I have done that, I have found another piece of the puzzle that helped me on my path back to my innate well-being.
Several years ago, I was sick of being depressed. I wasn’t actively depressed when I decided this, but I was suffering greatly. My thoughts about my situation were primarily negative and I felt stuck in a life that I didn’t feel I had chosen for myself. As I dug myself out of those beliefs, I began to see some light at the end of the tunnel. I realized that it wasn’t really my outer experience causing me to suffer, but my belief about it! This was huge! I remember getting very annoyed with a woman I worked with for a time when she’d say that things were the way they were supposed to be, because that’s what was happening. How easy is it to think that everything is happening for a reason when we’re enjoying life?! Not so much, it seems, when we’re unhappy with our lives. But, it’s important to realize that we can’t think that things are happening as they are meant to in some cases AND believe that we’re victims of circumstance in others. It doesn’t work that way. Because there is so much more to this life, we do not always consciously know what energy is being balanced out by a situation, or what lessons a person’s spirit is wanting them to learn. We’ve got to stay in our own lanes of being and focus on our own growth.
That being said, we are often stuck in time and repeating cycles of similarity. One way to work through this is to become aware of the dynamic happening and then ask ourselves what our role in it has been. When we take responsibility for our lives in this way, positive shifts happen because we take back our power. Standing in our own power and our own innate sense of knowing moves us towards alignment with our own spirit. An example in my own life is that it doesn’t serve my highest good to complain about a past relationship with a narcissist. Even labeling the person that way isn’t helpful for me, though it is helpful in reaching the people who need this message. What helps me is to see the role I played in that relationship. What led me to it? I fully recognize that I knowingly gave up my power at the start of it. I had been in a relationship where I made so many of the decisions and I was tired of it. I was excited to spend time with someone who liked to plan our time together. Suddenly, I wasn’t the one planning all of the hikes. It felt like a relief to not make the decisions for a while. But then that led into giving my power away about other things. Next thing I knew, I no longer felt in control of my own life. But it started with ME. Realizing that has allowed me to become aware of and see the parts of me that were drawn to that relationship. I’ve then been able to work towards a much deeper level of healing from that place of awareness.
As much as we like to think that we know where an issue originated, in my sessions of Holographic Kinetics, I have been shown time and again that often, we are not actually consciously aware of the cause. Many times, a trauma in childhood merely activates an issue that spirit has been carrying through from lifetimes ago. Or, from a trauma that a grandfather or great grandmother locked in at the spirit level and began passing down to future generations. As we are spiritual beings first, our issues don’t always originate in this lifetime. It is our minds that will try and connect an issue to an event that we can consciously remember in an attempt to make sense of it. Sometimes, trauma happens as a result of something our parents say or do when we are in the womb, or when we are little babies less than a year old. Just the same, we lock in beliefs about ourselves or life in those moments, and begin to unconsciously create our reality from them.
In the Holographic Kinetics sessions that I do, I have witnessed a person’s spirit take them back to a point just after conception (yes, in their Mother’s womb) many times as it finds the cause of the first activation or creation of an issue in this lifetime. How is that possible? How can we be aware of anything when we have barely been conceived? It is because we are spirits first and foremost. As the aboriginal people explain it, our spirit is what is with us through this life as well as through all of our past lives. Our spirit is aware of the cause of ALL of the issues that are holding us back in this life. Holographic Kinetics allows us to communicate with our spirit and help it change the past in the present for the future.
You see, our spirits do not wish to relive the same lesson and limiting pattern over and over again. No, our spirits yearn to be free, so that they can experience the full range of creation in this life. This is why we have all been feeling so called to clear our old issues and baggage that we’ve possibly been carrying around for many lifetimes. Our spirits are guiding us to the changes we need to make in order to break free from the self-imposed/accepted limitations we’ve allowed for far too long. We can heal ourselves by listening to our spirits/higher selves/intuition. Our spirit knows what we need in order to thrive in this life. When we listen to that inner guidance/knowing, we are naturally led into alignment with our own spirit which is the place from which everything we seek is possible.
I urge you to begin to follow your intuition about everything. How do you know it’s your intuition and not your old patterns speaking? The inspired ideas you get from your spirit will leave you feeling excited. The guidance will be to things that make you feel good. In fact following your joy and what feels good to you is another way to align with your spirit. As you follow the guidance from your spirit/intuition, your ability to do so will strengthen. Over time, it will become second nature and you will come to trust it more. I have a way of asking for guidance from my own spirit that gives me answers based on the feeling I get in my body.
We all have the power to heal our trauma, so that it stops causing us to repeat the same cycles over and over. The answers to that healing really lie within each of us. We are all drawn to what we need, when we need it. I was drawn to numerous healing modalities before being pulled in a big way to Holographic Kinetics. It was all important, because it all led me to an expanded awareness and deeper healing. It’s like each thing allowed for wellness, so I’d be ready for the next level of healing. My healing didn’t happen all at once, or through only one modality. It’s as if I was being groomed to be able to wrap my head around the healing at the spirit level. I experienced such profound healing of my past wounds through Holographic Kinetics, and I continue to be amazed (not surprised) by the ways that I see it help my clients or friends afar who go to practitioners near them. I have witnessed it shift a friend out of severe suicidal thoughts and back into their previous excitement about the year to come immediately following their first Holographic Kinetics session. I will be speaking about this at a Mental Health and Mindfulness focused Visalia Talks and Wine in January, so stay tuned.
Mindfulness isn’t just about being present in our moments and grateful for what we have, it’s about developing a conscious awareness of the beliefs we have that are holding us back. In Holographic Kinetics, when we find the cause of an issue, our spirit is able to change that dimension of time, so that we break free from the beliefs about ourselves that continue to re-traumatize us through time on all levels and all dimensions.
If you’d like more information about Holographic Kinetics, email me at email@example.com. Check out my testimonials page at the top of this blog for feedback from a few of my clients. I am also happy to speak on any of the topics I cover in this blog at events or organizations who are interested in learning more. Email me with inquiries.
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“I recognize that I have chosen fear, and I choose again. I choose love.”
“Instead of praying for an outcome, I pray for the highest good for all.”
I pulled these cards on Sunday morning when I asked for a message that I/the collective needed to hear.
I didn’t always realize I was making big decisions from a place of fear. But once it was brought to my attention, I could see fear behind nearly everything I had done. Choosing out of fear can look like moving away from home to go far away from family for college, because you were afraid that you’d never otherwise find a way out of the town you grew up in. It can look like hanging onto a relationship or allowing it to get more serious, because you’re afraid that you’ll otherwise lose the person completely. It can look like staying in a job that’s negatively affecting your health (mind, body, and/or spirit), because you’re afraid that no other work exists that would allow you to pay all of your bills. Are you making choices out of fear?
Awareness is KEY to all change. Until we know the part we’re playing in the life that we’re creating, we can’t change what we’re doing. From that new awareness, I decided to start making decisions from a place of love. So, when something comes up, I examine my decision to see if I’m choosing based on fear or love. If it’s fear, I recognize it and make a different choice that’s love-based.
I don’t pray. I don’t depend on things outside of myself anymore. Prior to Holographic Kinetics, I was praying to spirit guides and arc angels. Since my training, I’ve realized my power in alignment with my spirit. I ask only my own spirit for guidance. I do not wish to risk calling in anything in other dimensions that only wish to control me and to create the energy they need to survive. Yes that’s a thing. Holographic Kinetics can clear these types of interferences, but I’d rather stand in my own power by consciously not creating more issues I need to then have another HK Practitioner clear from my field. Knowing the Laws of LORE (Universal Laws vs human-made laws) helps me to live in a way in which I don’t give my power away to outside things and create energy that I’ll have to balance later in this life or in future lives. I’ve owned my role as the powerful creator of my life.
Knowing that the how and what of what I’ve asked for in the past has ended up even better than I imagined, I release expectations and my own limits by always asking for what is in my highest good and the highest good of others. If I ask my spirit for something, I like to follow it by “or something better”.
It’s not up to us to “fix” people. We each will balance the energy we create out in this lifetime or future lifetimes. And what you have to balance out is none of my business and not for me to know. But realize your power as a creator and part of infinite consciousness itself. Everything we experience in life was created by us at some point in time. As linear time as we know it is just a human construct, everything that is happening now has happened before and will happen in the future, as it is all really happening right NOW. It’s up to us to recognize if what we’re creating is making us happy or not. We’ve got to ask ourselves if we’re satisfied with our lives. Are we living our best lives? Are we following our dreams? Is there something we can do to shift things?
Realize that you have had the power all along to make your choices from a place of love. Following your joy is a start. Does an idea light you up and leave you sleepless at night with excitement? FOLLOW IT!!! Likewise, is something in your life causing your stomach to knot up with anxiety and a sense of discontent? If so, take one action to free yourself from that thing. It could mean reading a book about a topic you’re interested in or taking a class or getting trained in something you’ve been dreaming about. You don’t have to leap off a cliff so to speak to change your life, but you do need to become an empowered creator and take inspired action when you’re being nudged by your higher self.
I’ve experienced first-hand what happens when we stay in situations that we know aren’t serving our highest good. For me, I lost my health and almost died, and boy did that make me start listening to my higher self! Then when my job in the hospital began to negatively affect my health, I saw the warning signs before it got too bad and I quit. If we don’t listen to the whispers of our inner knowing/intuition/spirit and take action, the universe takes action for us.
When we cast a thought out into the world that we want to live our best life, follow our purpose, or be more fulfill in life etc, the universe answers the call. We can make decisions for ourselves to move us towards things that will serve our highest good, or we can wait and ponder and suffer, and then have things removed from our life for us.
I can’t tell you how many people I’ve talked to lately who have lost jobs, been forced to move out of their houses, have lost their health, or relationships! These are all ways that our spirits up level us in this life, though in the thick of it, it feels more like a destruction. In times like that, the easy way to be is to fall into victim mode by saying “why me?” Why not you? Have you been living your best life? Have you been putting your own well-being and peace and happiness first? Have you been listening to your intuition?
Sometimes humans live with the notion that life is meant to be easy. We wrongly judge our insides to other people’s outsides and think that they’re doing something better than us. That they’re not struggling as much as we are, and we can sink into feeling less than or like we’re doing life wrong. But we’re not. We’re just living lives as spirits having human experiences. We come to this life to learn lessons and balance our energy, and to experience as much as we can as powerful creators. If life was a cake walk, we would not learn as much. It’s not meant to be a cake walk, but it doesn’t have to be a miserable slog of suffering either.
It’s about shifting perspective and recognizing that if we’re creating our reality then we have the ability to create one that we love. Realize that we never have to just “suck it up” and endure life. We can shift so that we view life with a sense of curiosity rather than a sense of dread and apathy.
Life is what we make it and while our minds and egos are always filling in the blanks based on what we’ve experienced in the past, our spirits are infinite and can guide us from the patterns that we’ve been creating so far.
I have healed a lot on my own (yes even my physical health) by listening to my intuition and making changes to my life. For example, once I had made the decision to leave my marriage, my health shifted so much without changing anything else I was doing. My entire medication regimen was the same, what I was doing was the same. Even my husband was surprised by the changes happening to me before my eyes. This isn’t about him though, this is about me. I wasn’t a victim, I was choosing where to be. I was meant to learn from the experience and I did. All of that allowed me to be acutely aware of when it was happening again, when I had been staying in something that was no longer serving me and I needed to make a change. Each thing we go through has purpose and a cause. In my experience, absolutely nothing is by chance. It’s leading us, sometimes with breadcrumbs to what we need to know for a future time.
Trust your journey, and know that you and no one else has the ability to change your life. You change your life by changing your thoughts, words, actions, and deeds. What do you want to create? What’s stopping you?
IThank you so much for reading along. If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it with someone who might benefit from reading it. Follow me on IG or FB for other inspirational content. Sending you all so much love!
“You are being called upon by the universe to be a shining example of how love can heal. The love you share will bring blessings to those who experience it. You are on the right path and this card is encouraging you to continue to help others through your gentle words as you have a natural counseling ability and bring joy to others.” — Andrianna Hopkins
When I talk about Holographic Kinetics and what I gained from my own sessions of it during my training in May, I often speak of the self confidence I now have as a direct result. It was palpable nearly immediately following my week of training. That confidence allows me to speak my truth and shine my light regardless of what others may think.
I follow Andrianna Hopkins on IG who posts a reading card every day. Yesterday’s card had this opening paragraph under it. It resonates with me to my core and I know that this speaks to a big part of my purpose in this life. Whether its friends I’ve known for years, family members, people who follow me here, people I meet as I’m out and about in the world, and even through past messages via online dating, I know that I affect people this way. People have always sought my counsel. They open up to me about big things that they often admit that they’ve never talked about with anyone else. As a natural born communicator and connector, deep conversations light me up! I absolutely LOVE having people open up to me about things going on in their lives. I am always so honored when people feel safe enough with me to drop their masks and open their hearts. Heart to heart connections/conversations are one of my greatest joys in this life!
Since transforming myself and my life, I find that I am always seeking new ways to share with others what I have learned on my journey. Enter in personal mindfulness coaching, a Mindfulness for Children class through my local Parks and Recreation, a Teen Mindfulness Group I created on my own, 1:1 teen mindfulness mentoring, the Holographic Kinetics sessions I do which really give people a full wake up call to how much our thoughts create our reality, the healing dance opportunities that my friend Jerrett Johnson and I are creating for our community, creating and selling my art, and the personal assistant work I now do with a highly intelligent, non-verbal high school graduate with autism, and I would say that I’m definitely on the right path for me. In fact, I’ve never felt more on my path and aligned with my spirit as I do right now!
I have spent the last almost 5 years waking up to my innate gifts and strengthening them as I’ve followed my intuition and joy to alignment with my own spirit. I have watched as the techniques I’ve come to use have helped guide me to amazing opportunities and people. I can feel the brevity of my purpose propelling me into a completely different life than I had last year, that will be at least as equally unrecognizable at this time next year. Our purpose is bigger than us. Mine has pushed me so far out of my comfort zone, that my inner peace remains in situations that would have left me with a stomach ulcer last year. I know that the comfort of my ego and my human mind are not important in the grand scheme of things, but that as I continue to follow the guidance of my spirit that the universe will always have my back. I rest my mind with that inner knowing.
My journey has included a deep inner discovery of what makes me tick and what wounds still need healed. The work I have done for myself has not always been easy, but at one point, it did start to become much like a game. First, someone or something makes me aware of a belief I’m holding about myself or life. Next, I take responsibility for my creation of said belief. Lastly, I find a way to flip the script so that I do not continue to repeat the same thing over and over. An example would be the negative self talk I used to feed myself continually. I had some difficult things happening in my life several years ago and was feeling miserable. My suffering was the catalyst for me to start trying to understand why I felt so terrible. It led me to start examining my thoughts. At that point, I noticed that I wasn’t being very nice to myself. I began to instead feed myself positive affirmations while also observing and then stopping the negative self talk. When I realized how big of an impact this practice was having on my life, I then excitedly moved on to other areas that I could improve on.
I am here to show people what’s possible through following our joy into alignment. I’ve had an unwavering knowing that I am meant to help myself first, and then as many people as possible in this life as I can for a few years now. Opportunities to do so don’t always come from the avenues I would imagine. When I left my job in the hospital last year, I didn’t know about Holographic Kinetics, and I couldn’t have imagined that I’d be teaching kids about mindfulness. I’ve noticed that my spirit doesn’t care who I help or how they make their way into my life, so long as I do it. The really great thing about alignment is that my main purpose just requires that I move through the world as authentically as possible and do the things that come naturally to me. Talking with people for example. Do you have any idea how many times in my life I was made to feel like or people said outright that I talked “too much”? Let’s just say a LOT. Come to find out, that my openness through communication is my biggest asset in the work I am here to do! There are NO coincidences friends. We are all exactly the way we are meant to be! I have seen how it’s my natural abilities and passions that have guided me on my path. This is why it’s so critical trust everyone on the planet stay true to themselves.
Each of us has a purpose for being here and we’ve got to live in our full expression if we want to live that purpose completely. It’s a longer and more difficult path to remembering our purpose in this life if we get sidetracked with fitting in with the crowd for the majority of it. So today or this weekend, think about what makes you YOU. What makes you tick? What lights you up? What makes you feel most alive? That’s where you’ll find your purpose: in all of the parts of yourself that make you uniquely YOU.
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Wanna connect to your spirit and heal the patterns that are keeping you stuck in time and circumstance? Reach out to me about the Holographic Kinetics sessions that I do. You can find testimonials from past clients HERE. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for more information. You can also visit http://www.holographickinetics.com to learn more.
So much focus has generally been placed on the health of our bodies and minds, but not of our spirits. The well-being of our spirits is the missing link to why so much of what we’re doing is not working. At our core, we are energetic, spiritual beings having a human experience. When we neglect this fundamental aspect of ourselves, we lack holistic well-being.
According to the beliefs of the aboriginal people in Australia, it is our spirit that is with us in this life and all past lives that we have lived. We are multidimensional beings living in a multidimensional world, which means that nothing is as it seems to our limited five senses. My training to become a Practitioner in Holographic Kinetics in May, an advanced healing modality based on the Dreamtime Healing of the aboriginals in Australia, taught me so much about our spirits and the power of healing at the spirit level.
In my career as a Registered Nurse, I was taught that physical ailments primarily had physical causes. Because they couldn’t find a definitive cause, my doctors wanted to place their bets on my immune system being “over active” as the cause for my pericarditis. They liked to say that my immune system was ‘attacking itself’. But that was not the case AT ALL. In the end, I was found to have a multitude of infections associated with the bite from a deer tick. Plus, I tested positive for Valley Fever when tested in the hospital and no one ever told me or treated me for it. It took a thorough Lyme Disease specialist going through my records YEARS later to find that positive test result and prescribe treatment. So needless to say, my inflammation markers being through the roof and my pericardium being inflamed had definite reasons for being so that didn’t have anything to do with my immune system being the problem. My body was doing exactly what it was designed to do when it detected invaders to my system.
In my path back to my innate well-being, I have come to understand that there is much more to the causes of our physical and mental ailments than what we have been led to believe. For instance, I see a direct correlation between those of us who spent much of our lives putting other people first, while not taking good care of ourselves, and chronic, mystery illnesses. For me, it became apparent that the fact that I had stopped listening to my heart and my intuition had a direct impact on my heart. I have come to learn that most people seem to be dealing a lot with the consequences of not fully feeling their emotions as they come up. Louise Hays wrote books about this very thing, as have others. My training in Holographic Kinetics solidified this fact as we learned about how trauma and emotions can become crystallized in the body in the presence of stress and how this can lead to dis-ease in the body and become trapped also in our spirit.
I have come to learn that our minds and the way we perceive the world is what impacts our lives the most. When our minds tend towards the negative and we stew in negative emotions like anger, fear, shame, guilt, we start having physical ailments. I have seen how cleaning up my thoughts have allowed me to heal myself and transform my life.
I started by hitting a point where I noticed I was suffering, and I was tired of it. I began thinking that there had to be another way to live that didn’t involve me being miserable. I realized that I wasn’t talking very nicely to myself. When I made mistakes, I beat myself up for it. I still struggle with being my toughest critic when it comes to certain things. But overall, once I became aware of my negative self-talk, I could begin to shift it. I have learned that self-awareness is the key to creating lasting change. Shifting my self-talk to the positive was the first step. Instead of thinking I was stupid, because I messed up, I started to be proud of myself for trying. I began to use positive affirmations to feed my mind uplifting words daily. From there, I began noticing the stories of victimhood that I had been telling myself about things that had happened in my life. Instead, I looked for the divinity in those experiences and the lessons I had learned through them. I was guided to read books with the principle that as spirits, we in fact choose our families and plan out some bigger aspects of our lives before we incarnate. That was a concept that was entirely new to me. I was also reading many books related to other aspects of spirituality, and the power of our minds and the fact that our thoughts create our reality.
At this point in my journey, I can say without a doubt that by changing my thoughts, I have changed my life. In addition, I have done a lot of work to feel my emotions and release them as they come up. I pay attention to what I feed my body AND my mind in the way of what I read, watch, and listen to. Much of adulthood, I believe, is learning to feel and process our emotions as they arise vs getting overwhelmed and stuffing them deep down inside of us.
As I have experienced through my own Holographic Kinetics sessions and now through the sessions I have done with clients, the Cause of the issues affecting our lives right now stem from beliefs that we locked in, usually during childhood, about ourselves or about life at the spirit level. That belief isn’t something that we usually remember consciously, but it becomes locked in at the level of the spirit and we begin to create situations that prove that belief to be true. We only see what we believe. In this way, we create EVERYTHING in our lives, consciously or unconsciously. Most people are walking around unconsciously creating their lives. In the mindfulness I have cultivated in a variety of ways, I have become a conscious creator of my reality. In the places where I seemed to still be unconsciously creating, I was able to heal those issues through Holographic Kinetics. One of the issues I cleared during my own sessions was not feeling worthy of love. The Cause was found during my time in my Mother’s womb. By locking in the belief that I was not worthy of love, it set me up to create situations in which I did not feel worthy of love. In this life, we can only create that which we believe is true. If at the spirit level, we believe that we are not worthy of love, then life cannot show us situations that make us feel worthy of love.
At times, the Cause of an issue can be found during our childhood in this life. When we’re children, trauma can come in many forms, even from seemingly small things as perceived by our now adult minds, because as children, everything that happens can feel so large and important. Using Holographic Kinetics, in communication with a person’s spirit, it is possible to go back to the moment when a belief, related to an issue, was first created. We can then change that dimension of time, so that the Cause isn’t created and therefore the issue stops affecting a person’s current life and future lives. The healing that happens during a session extends back through a person’s ancestral line, as well as forward through the generations of descendants.
When a situation isn’t cleared after changing the dimension with the Cause in this lifetime, we explore and determine if the Cause that was activated in this life perhaps was originally created in a past life or somewhere within the genetic lines of either the Mother or the Father. I have had the personal experience of having my issues linked to multiple past lives as well as ancestors of mine who had locked in trauma that was getting passed down through the generations. If I ever doubted the concept of past lives and reincarnation, I definitely don’t now. I have seen places I have never been and experiences I’ve never had in this life.
The power of our minds is real. We don’t actually see with our eyes. We see what our brains allow us to see, usually based on our past experiences. We fill in the blanks of our current reality with our past. Our minds sift and filter everything around us, otherwise we would be even more overwhelmed by the stimuli that is constantly bombarding us, energetically and from our five senses. Our minds have a way of paying attention to the things around us that resonate with us personally. I tell my kids in my mindfulness classes that if we all take a walk down the street together, we would have very different experiences, because we would all notice different things. I might notice some flowers that were in my front yard as a kid. Someone else might notice a car their Mom has. None of us are ever experiencing the same reality. It’s why I’ve come to accept that no one else is ever going to truly understand me. As Esther and Jerry Hicks write in their book “Ask and It Is Given”, “Your current time-space reality, your current culture, your current ways of looking at things — all of the things that make up your perspective — have evolved over countless generations. In fact, it would not be possible to retrace all the desires, conclusions, and perspectives that have resulted in your unique point of view right here and now.”
It is important that we are all here right now. Each of us is needed or we wouldn’t be here. There is divine reason for EVERYTHING, even when our human minds can’t figure out what it could possibly be. It’s taking all of us to stand in our own power, to learn new ways of being as we learn to feel our feelings, stay present in our moments, and work to heal and release ourselves from our past. It is a combination of healing of the body, mind, and SPIRIT that leads us on a path back to our innate well-being. Well-being is our birthright. We can connect with it again when we connect with our own spirit.
If you’d like a deeper connection and healing at the spirit level, consider a Holographic Kinetics session with me. You can check out the first testimonials I have received from people I have already worked with HERE. It’s a powerful healing modality unlike any other I have encountered.
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I had the BEST day yesterday!! This picture is a throw back to when my friend Jerrett Johnson and I danced with the lovely Diana Hurtado in her home, but it really captures the joy I feel about my life right now!
I went to bed KNOWING that I am doing everything I am meant to be doing right now! It’s an incredible feeling to say the least! I made space for it all to manifest by following my joy and intuition and prioritizing my energy over the last year. I couldn’t have predicted ANY of the things that I am currently doing! It has all come to me as I’ve recognized the divinity of the timing for people and situations to be placed on my path and started saying YES to what shows up! I’ve given up knowing the HOW for the kind of life I want to live and the impact on the world that I’ve set the intention to make and I’ve surrendered to all that is. The last year plus of growth has given me the amazing gift of emphatically trusting my journey! I have seen how things that are meant for me come onto my path, and things not meant for me leave without drama.
My awareness and perspectives have expanded by leaps and bounds. I have been pushed out of my comfort zone so many times that it’s getting to be my norm. When I find myself getting comfortable, I get nudged to venture even farther out. It hasn’t always been comfortable. I have had times where it has felt very easy, and times when it has felt so difficult that I’ve spent the day crying. I’ve been forced to grow in big ways and to become the person who has the confidence and ability to do the things I’ve been guided to do. I’ve taken on projects that were not planned, and have grown close to people I’ve just met. I’ve gotten better at getting out of my own way, and am really good at listening to the now easier to hear whispers of my spirit. I now know that only good things come from following them. I am no longer interested in chasing or forcing things. I see how all that is meant for me flows naturally and is usually obvious to me now. I have the hindsight to see that projects that didn’t work out were all for a reason. I needed to meet people and get to a certain place in my own growth to be able to move forward.
Yesterday I started working one on one with a 19 year old who is autistic, nonverbal and HIGHLY intelligent. He’s an amazing writer, but it takes a lot of effort for him to express what he wants to say. A speech that he wrote got selected to be read at his graduation earlier this year. When I read it, I knew I was supposed to help him write more. I am so excited to work with him and hopefully help him get the words out of his head and onto pages. To say that his perspective is unique and needed in this world is the understatement of the year. He has so much to express and I can’t wait to hear it all!
I also hosted the second class of my Teen Mindfulness Group last night. What an amazing group of kids I get to work with! I’ve known for a while that I am supposed to work with teens. I feel silly now that I was ever nervous about doing it, because I am absolutely LOVING it! I can share so much more about real life things with the teenagers than I can with the 8-12 year old kids that I teach. I am making a difference and that lights me up! I woke up today wanting to start mentoring teens 1:1. I am realizing that my journey has prepared me to give the support and encouragement and insight about life to these teenagers that I would have loved to have when I was their age.
I love being the person that other people feel comfortable opening up to! I have had so many amazing conversations with people who are relieved that they finally have someone who they can talk to about all things spiritual that they don’t feel like they can talk to other people about! As I have opened up more, I have noticed how people then open up with me. Connection with other humans fills my heart like nothing else. I can’t ever get enough of it. I am on a path to free myself from the confines of the program and I am always happy to share what I have learned, so that I can help others do the same.
People ask me “what do you do?” I say, “how much time do you have?” I do what my spirit guides me to do. Right now, that means that I teach mindfulness to children, teens, and adults, I connect with people deeply and let them know that they are not alone, I coach people to follow their dreams and to express themselves fully and creatively, I work 1:1 with a teenager who has a lot of things to say, but just needs some extra help saying them, I plan dance parties and get people to drop their masks and live their joy to their healing and alignment, I utilize the powerful healing modality of Dreamtime Healing using Holographic Kinetics to help people heal themselves at the spirit level so that they can shift into alignment and thrive in their lives, I paint and draw and sell my art. I have a LOT on the horizon too. We ALL always have a lot of new opportunities on the horizon if we allow for it. Open your eyes and heart. Pay attention to the subtle whispers of your spirit. Follow your joy and intuition. Pay attention to the signs and synchronicities. Be grateful for all that you have and all that you do, because in a year, your life may look completely different than it does right now. I am learning to savor the moment more. I have learned to find peace in the unknown. I am positively impacting this world. My life is a success, because I am doing what my spirit came here to do. Are you?
Listen to Dirty Heads’ song “Vacation” HERE.
If you want to work with me in some capacity, or you’d like to collaborate on a project with me, email me at email@example.com. I’m always up for new adventures and new connections!
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We’re slaves in a energy-depleting system designed to keep us down, suffering, and feeling separate from one another. We spend the majority of our lives giving our energy to jobs we don’t like in exchange for a paycheck. We are then sold a measure of success based on outside things like degrees, houses, cars, other high-priced material items that we then go into large amounts of debt to attain. The system is set up so that we feel worthless without these items. The truth is that we all have intrinsic worth. The debt only acts to further enslave us, because we work the majority of our time to use the majority of our paycheck to pay down our debts. Rinse and repeat. Year after year. Generation after generation. Enough is enough!
We’re trading our most valuable commodity (our energy) for a paycheck. Most of us are working jobs that only serve to take our energy and do not give any back to us. It’s designed this way. I realize now how draining my RN job in the hospital was. Yes, I ‘only’ had to work 3 days a week (for a minimum of 36 hours, note full-time), so I had 4 days off a week. When I look back, I see how I’d give away most of my energy at work, then I’d have days off and by the end of it, I would have raised my vibration a little, only to go back to give my energy away again. It’s like I was stuck in a repeating cycle of low energy. Mind you, I LOVED working with people in a caring/nursing capacity. What I didn’t enjoy was the way that it was ran, and the constant drama created as more tasks were added to an already packed schedule and the worst nurses were always the ones getting rewarded and promoted to management positions. The negative energy was multiplied and I always left wishing that I could spend more time with my patients rather than in front of the computer. It’s all by design. If we had extra energy on our days off and didn’t have to spend them primarily catching up on the chores at home that we let slip during the rest of the week, we’d likely do more fun things which would raise our vibration. But as it stands, ‘fun’ is treated more as a luxury or bonus than what it actually is, a necessity. It’s necessary, because having fun and feeling good is a big part of what elevates our vibration and aligns us with our spirit. Following my joy and intuition about EVERYTHING in my life has been KEY to the level of awareness (consciousness) at which I currently function, and my alignment with my own spirit.
Most people are functioning at such a low vibrational level, because during the day, they’re working at jobs they hate. In the evenings, they’re watching all of the television PROGRAMMING designed to fill us with low-vibration, negative emotions. On weekends, many people spend much of their time doing household chores during the day, and drinking alcohol and/or doing drugs to cope with their generally low vibrational life at night, which acts to further lower their vibration. Alcohol is such a widely accepted way to numb our feelings and ignore the fact that we are living lives that do not make us happy. It may seem that alcohol (a depressant) makes you feel better, but in fact, it’s just another thing that lowers your energetic vibration, plus it lowers your defenses and can open you up to inter-dimensional interferences that can then enter your field and create further havoc in your life. When I became aware that my RN job was affecting me so negatively, I had the thought that I should maybe take up drinking wine in the evenings or smoking pot to cope with the levels of stress I was experiencing. I drank some wine, but never started smoking pot. If you’re at that point, I can tell you from experience that you need to find a new job. If our work is making us feel like we need drugs and alcohol to get through it, then we’re doing the wrong work. There’s no way around it. I’m not saying that everyone needs to leap out of their current job cold turkey, but the mindful thing to do would be to start imagining up what you would like to do instead. Take steps to learn something new to expand your horizons. Start seeing your current gig as the stepping stone to your next life adventure! When you come into alignment with your own spirit, you will feel high on life, and won’t need substances to do it.
When humans are kept on this intended negative energy treadmill, our energy keeps us experiencing life in a limited way as we are forced into connecting with ourselves only as physical bodies and the physical world around us with our extremely limited five senses. We tend to be filled with feelings of hopelessness, fear, anger, loneliness and separation. In this state, not only are we easier to control, but we are never able to tap into our innate, limitless infinite consciousness and well-being. When we’re made to be so focused only on ‘what is’ in our physically detectable world, we miss out on being able to see all that’s possible, and all that we ARE. We have to get to a point where we realize our infinite potential if we truly want to escape this limited reality and manifest an amazing, boundless life!
We’re made to feel angry about things such as: differing political parties that don’t really control things. All sides/parties are on the same side of controlling us; race that is only part of our rented meat suits for this one life as our spirits are raceless. It’s another distraction from real issues and is meant to further separate us. Inequality based on race is fueling that division; gender division and therefore separateness in our solutions to the inequality we see in the physical world. We are only going to see substantial shifts and elevated energy states in the collective if we stop allowing things outside of ourselves to control our emotions (our energy), and our feelings of self-worth. Stop doing things that feel bad. Stop watching the fear-based PROGRAMMING. Stop focusing on everything politicians say or do. Stop thinking that everything outside of you has to be a certain way in order for you to be OK. In other words, TAKE BACK YOUR POWER. Stop getting distracted by all of the purposeful energy sucks outside of you. YOU and only you have the power to direct your energy towards the things you WANT to see in your life and the world. Cultivate inner peace that doesn’t get disrupted by outside things. The outside things are not going to improve until all of our inner things are dealt with and healed. Erase the term selfish from your vocabulary, because when we each do our work to serve up our highest vibration and authentic self in this world, we aren’t just helping ourselves, we’re helping EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING. Internalize the fact that we are all energetic beings living in an energetic world, and our energy is the MOST important asset we have, because it is DIRECTLY connected to our mental, physical, and spiritual health.
People think I’m magic, because in relation to the general size of the world’s population, there are very few of us who have figured out how to tap into the power of our own spirit. I cannot say this enough: all that is available to me is available to you! You are infinite consciousness in a human meat suit too. You can find a way to rise above the nonsense of the game just as I have learned to do. You are more powerful than the powers that be want you to know. As a powerful creator of your own reality, you have the ability to consciously create the life of your dreams. But to do so, you MUST find ways to elevate your energy. One of the easiest ways to do this is with a daily gratitude practice. When you shift into the energy of appreciation for all that you have, you draw to your life more things to be thankful for. You also increase increase your happiness by noticing all of the things in your life that are going RIGHT!
Another easy way to shift your energy up is to start following your joy as much as possible. Have you forgotten what brings you joy? This is pretty common in a system that is set up to have us put our own needs last. Start by making a list of what brought you joy as a kid. As children, we’re more in tune with our own spirits, as well have more balanced left brain/right brain approach to life. So quite often, the things that we loved most about life when we were young are the same things we love later in life. In the end of my position in the hospital, I learned to keep my energy elevated by developing an uplifting morning routine that had me waking up at 4 am, excited to get out of bed (I had to punch in by 6 am)! I’d set the intention before going in that I was going to have a great day and that regardless of what happened, nothing was going to bring me down! Of course stressful situations still arose, but I began to see the humor in what I was able to handle and go through yet still come out of my day smiling. I never considered myself a morning person, but my job required that I be. Give yourself the gift of an uplifting morning routine: meditate, listen to music you love, listen to positive podcasts or YouTube videos, dance, sing, do yoga, read positive affirmations, get outside! Do whatever makes YOU feel good!
Part of the system is also about making us more left-brain dependent by pushing science, which wrongly teaches us that only things provable in a physical way are real, when in fact much of this multidimensional world exists outside of our limited perception. So, we’ve got science dismissing our spiritual nature and we have organized religion convincing us that god is somewhere “out there”, when in fact source/god energy is what we’re all made of. Science and religion each cause us to seek answers from outside of ourselves, when actually we contain all of the answers we’ll ever need within us, our spirit. Even the current ‘New Age’ movement also leads us to seek help from outside of ourselves in the form of angels, crystals, and light/energy. In alignment with our spirit, we realize our true power, and we stop feeling the need to call things from outside of ourselves. All that I had been noticing and feeling about my own alignment with my spirit was confirmed at my training in Holographic Kinetics. When we are aligned with our own spirit, we heal ourselves and others, we are naturally protected from things that seek to cause us harm (which has manifested in me feeling completely safe even when traveling around big cities alone), and our innate psychic abilities increase as does our ability to manifest things in our life. You can balance out your left brain right brain use by balancing your use of logic with your use of your imagination and creativity. Music lessons to balance the science classes. Following your intuition will also help you tap into the abilities of the right side of your brain. Encourage your kids to play freely when they’re out of the walls of their classrooms. We’ve got to keep our inner child alive and well to push past all of the programming that is being fed to us daily. Remember, it’s our inner child that is tuned in with our spirit, and therefore our joy.
It’s important as you move through life having various experiences that you take note of how they make you feel. Start making a mental note of what you’re doing when you feel most alive, and then do those things as often as you can. In my experience, as you start doing one thing that lights you up, you will naturally be guided to other activities that also uplift you. As you follow your intuition by saying yes to joy and no to things/people that leave you feeling bad, your intuition will get stronger. You’ll start to feel more alive and you’re energetic vibration will increase. Your spirit will then guide you to purge all in your life that is no longer serving your highest good, while it sends you new people, opportunities, and situations that match your new, increased frequency. As you get more in tune with your spirit, you will be able to sense people’s energies and intentions even before you physically meet them, which then allows you to choose when to focus your energy on a connection or not. Gone are the days of giving our energy away to situations and people that will not ultimately serve our highest good. Life gets better and better from there!
Contrary to what we’ve been led to believe, life is meant to be fully LIVED with lots of love, joy, well-being, and connection! We are limitless! Life is limitless! Prioritize your own energetic frequency, so that you’re able to align with your own spirit. From that place of alignment, life becomes a fun adventure, and absolutely EVERYTHING is possible!!
If you need extra support as you level up, expand, and move into spiritual alignment, I am available for Mindfulness Coaching and Classes. I currently teach a Mindfulness for Children class through my local Parks and Recreation for 8 to 12 year olds. If you’re ready to purge issues that have been repeatedly holding you back, I can’t recommend highly enough that you try a session of Dreamtime Healing using Holographic Kinetics with me locally, or with a Practitioner near you! It has changed my life in so many positive ways, and I see it also transforming the lives of those who have already had a session with me! There is no other healing modality like it. The time is NOW to free ourselves from the past, so that we can create a new present, and therefore a new future for ourselves! You can read more about my journey to Holographic Kinetics HERE and contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org for more information.
See Maya Angelou perform my favorite poem of hers, “And Still I Rise” HERE. Let’s all take our power back and choose to RISE!
Thank you for reading along. If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Consider following me on IG at peaceful.jellyfish for additional uplifting content. It’s time for all of us to wake up to the truth of who we are and ALIGN, ELEVATE, and THRIVE! Sending you all so much love!