This is from Esther and Jerry Hicks’ amazing book titled “Ask and It Is Given”.
YOUR THOUGHTS LITERALLY CREATE YOUR REALITY!
Every issue we have has a Cause. We experience something in this life or a past life (or an ancestor of ours has an experience) that causes us to lock in a belief about ourselves or life. Because we lock in that belief, we create situations that prove it true over and over again. That’s right, YOU are the powerful creator of your own reality. Often, this beliefs slip into our subconscious mind as most of them happen during childhood or at conception or while we’re in the womb. (Yes, the things you think about and do while you’re pregnant matter GREATLY, as your child’s spirit is present from the time of conception). We then create our lives from these subconscious beliefs and can end up feeling like a victim of circumstance vs the powerful creator that we are.
As creators of our reality, we are the only ones able to change it. In my sessions of Holographic Kinetics, I see time and again how issues began and am so grateful that I am able to offer people a way to not only receive more clarity on why their lives are the way they are, but also to assist them to clear the issues and create a new reality.
We’re all under pressure right now to clear out all of the things we’ve been carrying around that no longer serve our highest good. That can look like spring cleaning the entire house in August, purging old stuff we don’t use, ending relationships, quitting the job we hate, and finding healing modalities that allow us to clear our biggest issues still holding us back.
This release of the old is key to moving into a more magnificent new than we can even imagine in this NOW moment. We’re shifting up, and what’s to come is WAY better than what we’ve experienced so far! Trust your journey.❤️
Look, I know not everyone hates their chosen profession that provides a salary, but how many do?! I didn’t hate my job the hospital, but I stopped enjoying it when the red tape was longer than the time I was able to actually be with my patients when they needed me. And regardless of that, the stress of the job began to negatively affect my health. I had my own primary FNP urge me to leave my job to protect my health. I had already lost my health once and almost died and I wasn’t willing to go through that again! After all, I had already learned up close and personal that I wouldn’t be able to buy my health back with money. A lesson a lot of people learn every day. So I jumped out of a $70,000+ a year career to save myself. You know what it feels like 1.5 years later? Worth. It!
Am I making even close to what I was then doing Holographic Kinetics and Mindfulness Coaching and Educating? Not yet. Not close. In fact, I could likely qualify for public assistance, but I’m living in a place of trust that all that I need is always provided for me, and it’s worked out so far. But on par with one of my last posts, what I need shows up when I need it, and not a moment sooner, because I am being taught by my spirit to live in the present moment only. How else are we to learn if we don’t surrender and trust to the flow of the Universe? Do I have some late bills? Yes. Am I freaking out about them? No. I’ve cultivated inner peace that exists regardless of anything outside of myself, which I believe is exactly the point. I no longer define my worth by my career or my income. I’ve never felt so confident in my life. Priceless.
I’m not the only one who had health issues in an RN job. Some stayed, some left, and some are on extended leave of absences (LOA’s), which essentially means that their job is creating physical, mental and/or emotional stress and they are forced to take a break from work. People put their health and their own dreams on the back burner in exchange for a paycheck. It’s bullshit. People get just enough to be ‘comfortable’, a state typically void of real LIVING and JOY. We tend to earn ‘just enough’ to pay on all of the debt we incurred from school, credit cards, mortgages, and cars. We have ‘enough’ to get by, but not to do the things we’ve been longing to do. If we do make enough to say travel, then we’ve got higher ups saying if and when we can take the vacation days we earned. Last year, after planning a trip to vacation with family in Hawaii, I was told that because the cycle sick time for kin hadn’t yet started over that I wouldn’t have enough PTO for my vacation, meaning that I wouldn’t be able to take it. I made sure to quit before then, because I was done living my life for other people, and only with other people’s permission while my own health suffered. Nope. See, that’s the beauty of a catastrophic health event, you become absolutely resolute about not repeating it, and you also start putting your own needs first for a change.
Our jobs sell us lots of stuff to get us hooked: salary, health insurance, paid sick leave, paid vacation time, and discounts in the cafeteria. Telling me that I accrue paid sick leave, but only letting me use it after I’ve had to call off of work for 3 consecutive days (and supply a doctor’s note), is not a perk, it’s a fake benefit. I guess it would have been there to fall back on after the job completed its duty of fully taking my health away, but I wasn’t staying to find out. It’s just something they ‘give’ us that makes us feel like we’re signing on with a company who cares about our well-being. All nurses have to dip into the vacation PTO days off that they earn with each paycheck in order to get a paid sick day off. And do you know how many days off a year a nurse is ‘allowed’ to call in before the hand slapping starts? Three, yes 3 days a YEAR. I needed health insurance when I was living a life of putting myself last, not so much when I’ve been living a life aligned with my own spirit.
You ever wonder what the hell you’re even doing here? Do you really think we’re meant to only work, pay bills, and die?! Ever notice how quick we are to accept the social ‘norms’ and the ‘way things have always been done’? If you’re not happy, you’re the only one who can change it. If you want a different life, you’re going to have to be willing to get really uncomfortable and creative in your next steps. The only time to live is NOW. When are we going to wake up and fully LIVE?
I’ve been meeting more and more people who jumped out of their good paying jobs to work for themselves and/or in places/positions that add happiness to their lives. It can be done. All of the material wealth in the world is not worth your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Look at all of the celebrities who keep killing themselves despite reaching the fame and fortune they set out to achieve. That should be a big wake up call to all of us. Money can’t buy you love, happiness, or joy. Learn to put your well-being and alignment above everything else. There’s much abundance, healing, happiness, joy, and peace to be found here in alignment. Following our intuition and joy to alignment isn’t about forgoing all responsibility. It’s about following inspired action vs feeling moved to some made up required action. It’s about manifesting everything you want and need that’s in sync with your own frequency in divine timing. It’s living in gratitude for all that you have vs only thinking about what you don’t have. It’s about being responsible for your own energy and what you’re bringing into the world. We help others when we help ourselves. We create change when we change ourselves. We lift each other up when we first lift ourselves up.
We don’t have to hustle if we align. Alignment gives way to inspired action which means that the things you do are fun even when they’re for ‘work’. We spend so much time working, so it’d be really smart to find something we enjoy doing. Does it really make sense that the only time we get to truly be free and live the life we want is after retirement when we’re in our 60’s? I’ve known people to die at 60 or mid-60’s. What if you retire at 65 and die at 75? Is 10 years of 75 years really the only time you want to enjoy and experience freedom?!?! What about the people working past retirement age because they feel forced to keep the health insurance? As a whole, are we really OK with this limiting set up?
Have you ever considered that we’re better followers when everything bombarding us makes us feel inferior, small, worthless, and reaching for things outside of ourselves for answers, support, and love? The program creates a void in us, and then creates solutions in the form of science, religion, gadgets, material items, new age beliefs to fill it when in fact, if we’d tune out the noise, we’d find that our natural state is well-being and that all of the answers we ever need exist within us. Nothing in this world is what it seems. We are all limitless, infinite consciousness in a rented human meat suit. We are powerful beyond measure and we are capable of SO much more than the long-accepted status quo. It’s go time! The time to live is NOW! What are you being bribed to do in life by money or fear of the unknown, or your need to feel in control?
If you’d like to tap into the wisdom of your spirit and clear some of the programming and beliefs that got locked into it during this life, previous lives, the genetic lines, or from inter dimensional interferences seeking control, then consider a session of Dreamtime Healing using Holographic Kinetics with me. All sessions are done in person. Issues are cleared on all levels and dimensions which means that they stop impacting your current life and future lives. Healing ripples back into previous generations as well as forward into future generations. Holographic Kinetics allows you and your spirit to take back control of your life without the things currently holding you back.
Thanks for reading along! If you like this post, please like and share it. Sending you all so much love!
I pay attention to the lyrics in the music I listen to. “What if all the love you gave was starin’ at you from the grave, would it make your heart explode?” To me, these lyrics speak of the amount of love we’re giving out into the world. Are you giving out so much love in your life that having it come back to you would make your heart so full that it would figuratively explode?! So many people I follow and books I have read speak to the same truth: only unconditional love is real, all else is an illusion. Loving ourselves and others as much as we can is the KEY to a better life and a better world!
I find myself so in love with myself and with life these days that I attract the absolute BEST people whom I love instantly! I’ve slowly let go of the notion that love needs to only be reserved for my family and romantic relationships. In the last year as I have followed my joy and intuition into alignment with my own spirit, I have found my heart open so much to the love that we all are. It’s a really beautiful feeling to have love in my heart for everyone, even people I’ve just met! I strive more to show my love for people in my life than to speak it, but speaking it has also been so freeing. Why do we keep our love under lock and key? I think it’s a result of a combination of our past hurts, traumas, and programming among other things. We’re more used to feeling hate and fear than we are to feeling love and togetherness. We’re more used to imagining worst case scenarios than best case scenarios. The more I love myself, the more incredible the people I attract are, the more love I feel, because PEOPLE ARE SO BEAUTIFUL! We are all energetic, spiritual beings first and foremost, so when I feel good energy emanating from someone, I feel it and our spirits are magnetized to one another. And even in times when I feel it and don’t say it, I often think to myself, “I love you!” which sends a powerful love vibration out to the person and into the world.
I have been so lucky to look into the face of someone I love with tears in our eyes as we consciously chose to have our relationship transform into a friendship. It was for the best, and we both knew it. I have loved only this one person unconditionally in a romantic context. I thought that I had loved unconditionally before him, but I hadn’t, because in those past relationships, I was unconsciously seeking to receive love in return for the love I was giving. It has to do with the conscious awareness I have cultivated in my life over the last several years. I have never been so conscious in relationship before. Real unconditional love exists when we aren’t needing or wanting, consciously or not, anything in return for the love that we give someone. It comes when we release expectations of how we want someone to be or how we want them to show up in our lives, and fully allow them to be who they are. We love them for who they are, not for who we want them to be.
Much of my conscious awareness with relationships came from this relationship. It didn’t always feel good. In fact, at times my wounds were triggered and it was set up so that I was pushed to go within to find the answers to why I was feeling this way vs blaming my feelings on the other person. Because of the way it was set up, we did not see each other often, which meant that I had the distance I needed to really connect with myself and see my codependent tendencies and therefore heal and release them vs act from them. I even told him that I was catching things before I felt the need to bring an issue up to him. It’s what our spirits set out to do, to make us aware of our issues, to give us space to see and heal them, and to hold loving space for each other as we healed, grew, and expanded. Friends, there is nothing like dropping expectations and seeing the bigger picture of a connection with a person.
And it’s not about dropping expectations for how we want to be treated, or allowing ourselves to settle for less than what we want in a relationship. It’s about going with the flow, knowing that people don’t show up in our lives by chance, and embracing the lessons and moments with a person in the NOW. We have the choice of who we spend time with, so at any moment if a connection isn’t bringing us joy, we have the ability to walk away. I would always ask myself if the connection was bringing me joy. While the answer was yes, I made space for the connection in my life, When we felt like we needed to move on, we did, with no ill will or feelings towards each other. I never felt anger. I never felt the need to cling, because I was also learning during this time that there is no lack in this life. Therefore, I didn’t feel the need to cling to him. I knew that when I was guided to move on that I could trust it and I got curious about what/who would come in to fill that energetic space in my life. When we really love someone, we want the best for them and us. We respectfully express gratitude for them and their time as we walk away. We acknowledge the beauty of the connection, because an end is never really an end to the love we feel. There are no real lines, so there is no switch to change our feelings just because the nature of the relationship has changed. If we really love someone, we let them go with grace and love.
In the last year especially, I have seen how divine the timing of everything is, including the timing of when people come into and go out of my life. There are no coincidences. I have always had the idea that this person and I had a deeper connection with each other. I felt like we knew each other from past lives. We recently got closure that I didn’t even know I needed. Our connection came full circle as we completed the pact our spirits had with each other to meet up and help remind each other of who we were before the world told us who we should be. Much of our relationship was about experiencing child-like joy together. We met just before I realized that my health was back and that I was physically capable of all that I had been before my dis-ease. I found myself, in part, in our moments spent together. Sometimes, even when we think that we’ve let go of a person completely, we can spend time together and get beautiful closure beyond a time of physical separateness. We had an amazing time express our feelings and gratitude, to share what we had learned in our relationship and during our time apart, and to experience more joy together!
Stay open. When you follow your intuition and joy, you’ll find that you get guided to what you need rather than what you think you want. Our spirits know what we need. Our spirits know when we need more experiences with a person in order to close out the old agreement we had with them in order to make way for the new friendship that we’re welcoming into the new, now moment. Giving love is always the answer. When we’re giving from our overflowing cup, giving love to someone doesn’t deplete us. When we love unconditionally, we see how beautiful people are even in their own perceived ‘flaws’. Loving this person unconditionally opened me to love myself unconditionally. I saw him in all of his authenticity and vulnerability and I saw myself reflected back to me. Loving his light AND dark led me to love my own light and dark in a deeper way. Isn’t it beautiful how relationships are to grow us and not make us happy? Our sweet closure left me in awe of our shared experience and excited for what is to come for both of us as we’ve both transformed our lives in the time since we first met. We shift our connection and allow ourselves to go as a river into the wild, expansive unknown of the next, now moment.
If all the love I gave was starin’ at me from the grave it would most definitely make my heart explode! The love I experience every day for myself, life, nature, and the connections I continue to make with other people already makes my heart explode on the daily! Life is an adventure. Play more! Love more! Follow your joy every day! It’s in your power to create and give more love in this life! Start with loving yourself and then allow that love to overflow out into the people and world around you! The world needs more love!
Thank you so much for reading! If you like this post, please like and share it! Sending you so much love today and every day! Follow me on IG for more inspiration to live your best life!
Watch the video for “Let It Go” HERE. (Yes I know I have posted this song on this blog before. It has so many good messages for all of us!)
In June of 2016, I had the pleasure of taking care of one of the sweetest families ever born when they were in the hospital having their second child, a boy. I remember both of the children’s names to this day. I’m telling you, this couple and their kids were some of the most beautiful spirits. Their smiles and positive energy are forever etched in my mind and made my life better in the day that I got to care for them. The other nurses who were lucky to get them in the days following me talked about how amazing they were too. Everyone wanted to be their nurse. The Dad commented that maybe they’d run into me at the Farmer’s Market, but so far, that hasn’t happened. I look for them though, and think of them often, with a smile on my face.
They were playing music in their room. At one point, when I had gone in to check on them, I really liked the song that was playing and asked the woman who it was. She told me and confirmed it by looking at the playlist on her phone. I played it cool, but barely knew what she had said, and I didn’t move my pride aside long enough to get the clarification. So I went home that night and googled it: modest yahoo. Hahaha!! Luckily, google figured it out for me and gave me my answer: Matisyahu.
Little did I know how much I needed Matisyahu, his message, and his music in my life. For the next almost 3 years, he’s helped me through a lot in my life, namely my total life transformation, the discovery and awakening of my true, higher self, my leap of faith out of my RN job in the hospital, my journey with my own business which is essentially my career of surrender and faith, and the immense amount of healing work I have been doing for myself, my family, and my ancestors.
On May 5th, I saw Matisyahu live for the fourth time. I manifested it. One morning, I said out loud that I needed to get to that show, and by that same afternoon a friend had texted me about volunteering in exchange for a free ticket to THAT show! I was thrilled to be front row and nearly center during his performance. When I listen to music, I hear and feel the lyrics. To me, Matis lyrics speak of the changes that we as the human race need to make, so that we can all live in a world of peace and acceptance. A lot of his lyrics are spiritual in nature. I can relate to the things he sings about in such an intimate way, because the human experience is ultimately a shared experience of awakening to our limitless potential. To get to that state of realization, usually we experience a lot of hardships. The plot is not unique to any of us, though the specifics of the stories vary.
Our words are our bond. They are powerful and should not be said or thought lightly. They greatly impact our lives and the world around us. It is no different to express words that we have created ourselves or to walk around singing someone else’s song lyrics. Be mindful of what you are consuming and repeating. The shows we watch and the music we listen to are vitally important, because when we’re doing those activities, our minds become open to suggestion. It’s why companies pay so much for commercials on TV and radio. The thoughts we think become our reality. Pay attention to the music lyrics you’re consuming and walking around repeating out loud or in your head. Once you look at music this way, listening to the radio takes on a whole new meaning. I was in a Lyft recently and every song that came on in a succession of 4 or 5 songs was about the person giving up their power, being a victim, and submitting to something outside of themselves. Music is heavily influenced as an industry. Consider choosing music that lifts you up without selling you material things, a certain lifestyle, or a victim mentality that leaves you seeking help from outside of yourself. The music played to the masses over the radio is most noticeably influenced, because it reaches the most people, but all music has the ability to sell a message that keeps us living small.
How is the music that you’re listening to make you feel? What messages is it sending you about life or about yourself? Would you be OK with the lyrics you’ve been walking around singing manifesting in your life? If not, it’s time to find some new music.
I actually walked away from music at the House Music Festival in Chicago several times yesterday, because they started playing things with words that just did not feel good to me. Our subconscious minds pick up everything we take in, and more so when it’s put to a catchy beat. Start paying attention to how TV and music make you feel and the kinds of messages planted in them. It’ll open up your mind in such a big way when you start paying attention.
Music has the ability to lift us up and get us through tough times. It has the ability to align us to our spirit. It has the ability to connect us all in dance. The next time you’re out at a show, consider putting your phone away and joining in the dancing. Life is short to spend it taking video the entire time of the fun going on around you. Join in. Dance. Risk being seen. Risk looking like a fool. Those of us dancing aren’t thinking about you. We’re enjoying life! Enjoy it with us!
Thank you for reading along! If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. You can also catch me over on IG and FB for more content. Much love to you!
Watch Michael Franti and Spearhead‘s “Love Will Find a Way” HERE
I began meditating in 2015. By this time, I had been through my health scare, divorce, and had been working as a Registered Nurse in the hospital for over 2 years. I had heard about meditation for years before I actually took note and put it into practice. In 2015, I partook in a “Simple Shift” group hosted by my Homeopath and friend, Torey Ivanic, that was made up of a group of women who were ready to create big change in our lives by shifting in some, small way. The “simple shift” I chose to commit to during this group was meditation. I downloaded the app, Insight Timer, on my phone, which kept track of my progress. I started with 5 minutes a day. Honestly, I’d do 2 minutes some days, 5 minutes others. Then, just after the group ended, I hit a very stressful time in my life.
I was struggling and needed a way to turn off the spiral of thoughts whirring through my mind about the situation. So I began meditating often as a way to positively cope with the turmoil I was experiencing. As I would feel the anxiety well up in me, I’d set the timer on my phone and meditate. I based it around my life, so if I had 5 minutes to spare, I’d meditate for 5 minutes. If I had more time in that moment, I’d set the timer for 15 minutes. Each time I felt myself get overwhelmed with emotions, I’d meditate. When the hamsters in my head would start running in their wheels, I’d meditate. When I felt panic rush in and tighten my chest, I’d meditate. I remember sitting in the cemetery next to the bench that marks the spot where one of my best friends from high school is buried, and I found myself talking to him in the rain, crying, and meditating. I clung to meditation like a life raft. I meditated, because I didn’t know what else to do.
These moments spent in meditation worked as a reset button for my system. I was able to reset myself and breathe. In those days, I didn’t notice a big difference. But it acted as a break from my thoughts and emotions. The break is what snapped me out of my head. It got me through that time with a lot of sanity and clarity. By the end of this 2-week period, I was able to get a sense of a big picture purpose of what was happening. I spoke about it with words that did not feel from me, but more through me. I was then gifted with the most peace I had ever experienced in my entire life. It lasted a week, and during that time I felt so at ease with EVERYTHING in my life. I felt so much love and compassion for myself and everyone else. I realize now that that level of peace is available to all of us when we place priority on our healing and aligning ourselves with our souls.
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” – Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
I didn’t simply gain a week of peace during that time. I also gained the awareness that it was that level of peace that I wanted to feel in my life, all the time. It gave me a contrast to compare everything against. To this day, when a person or situation is causing me to lose my inner peace, I make the needed adjustments, because for me, my inner peace comes FIRST.
This was all just the beginning for me. Last year, after I had taken my leap of faith out of my Registered Nursing job in the hospital when it began affecting my health negatively, and had gotten back from traveling to Australia and Hawaii, I got more serious about meditating again. I was in a time where I was ready to go full force with my business, but I also had to trust that the people who needed the Intuitive Reiki and Joy Coaching with me would come in divine time. I set the intention and began meditating every morning for 25 minutes while also treating myself with Reiki. This consistent practice completely changed my game. I began to have and continue to have so many inspired ideas that led to inspired action that led to so many good things in my life. For instance, it became an important aim of mine to be part of a thriving community of healers and artists, and then I got the idea to create a “Healing Arts” basket for a raffle for the Center of Spiritual Living for their annual fundraiser, which naturally connected me with local healers and artists. There was also the inspired ideas of participating in the fundraiser “Over the Edge” for The Source LGBT+ Center’s annual fundraiser and offering free Reiki sessions every week at The Source which led to me being more connected to the LGBT+ community here which has led me to amazing friendships and more of my tribe! Reaching out to the amazing author, Scott Stabile, about how much I loved his book and would like to have him come to my town to host a workshop was also an inspired idea that I took action on, and it all lined up so effortlessly after that! Scott hosted one of his workshops, “Writing Yourself” here in January!
There’s a reason why so many people urge us to meditate. It works. Deepak Chopra has written MANY books, and you want to know his biggest piece of advice for people? Meditate! I know what you’re thinking, you can’t meditate. You can’t get your brain to slow down long enough to meditate. You don’t have time to meditate. I can assure you that if you had time to read this post about meditating that you have time to meditate. You’re just choosing to use your time in other ways. My life has been a bit of a surrender experiment in the last year. Things I couldn’t have planned for have shown up. Awesome things have shown up. I would say that I owe a lot of that, if not all, to meditation. Meditation has allowed me to align with my soul, my higher self, in a more powerful way than ever before. Following my intuition about everything in my life, right down to what I eat, has further strengthened my intuition, which is also what leads to amazing things. I am so happy to say that I will be teaching kids mindfulness and meditation this summer through Parks and Recreation. I am so excited to share the exercises I’ve used to help teach kids positive ways to cope with life. It is my vision that by teaching kids positive coping mechanisms, they will be able to use them throughout their lives to combat peer pressure, to decrease the rates of teen pregnancy, to decrease addiction, and to decrease the rates of suicide. I love working with kids so much, and pediatrics continues to be the unit of the hospital that I miss working on the most, so I am really looking forward to this new adventure!
I can’t tell you how many times I have been called magic in the last year, the last 8 months especially. I look for magic, I expect magic daily, because I’ve witnessed magic every day. I am aligned with my soul, my higher self. I am following my soul’s path completely which places all kinds of amazing synchronicities on my path. I am human like you, and I got here by trudging through a lot of shit. I did not get here through ease and comfort. I walked through fire to ultimately have my soul set free. When I noticed that my thoughts about myself and my life weren’t serving me well, I worked to adopt new thoughts. I’ve listen to meditations to reprogram my subconscious mind. I’ve followed my intuition to the healing modalities that called to me and the foods that my body was craving. I used journaling. I used positive affirmations. I have a daily gratitude practice. I didn’t grow up knowing about positive ways to cope with life, so I sought them when I needed them. Instead of stressing and ‘grinding’, I learned the importance of quieting my mind through meditation and time spent in nature.
Through the journey I have walked, I have been gifted with the knowledge that our health is our greatest asset, that living in joy is what we are here to do, and that inner peace is the real ‘success’ that we should be working to achieve in this life. I did not come from peace, but I now have more peace than I ever have before. I got tired of suffering. I got tired of playing a victim, so I got serious about finding a way to change my view of the world. I adjusted my priorities. I choose to place my focus on my peace and happiness every day, because I see now how that ripples out from my life into other people’s lives. I choose to prioritize doing things that raise my energy and cause me to vibrate at a higher frequency. When we learn to love ourselves unconditionally, we are able to love others unconditionally. Also in my experience, when I learned to love another unconditionally as I saw their life with empathy and compassion, I loved myself even deeper in return.
Many of the practices I have had great results with are simple and available to anyone who decides to place priority on their own healing. If you struggle to quiet your mind or lead a very stressful life, I urge you to take up daily meditation. It can be as simple as setting a timer for 5 minutes and sitting in a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted while you focus on your breath. You might feel resistance to it, I think that’s pretty common. It was for me. But just keep being consistent with it, and eventually, you’ll notice shifts. I lead guided meditations every first and third Wednesday of every month, so if you’re local, reach out to me at email@example.com. We have meditation happening tonight on the Super Full Moon from 6 to 7 pm. Everyone is welcome.
Meditation is a simple shift we can all make towards our wellness. It’s free. It’s easy. We can do it alone or with a group. We can meditate inside or outside. If you’re finding yourself not satisfied with the way your life has been going, try meditating. What do you have to lose?
Thank you for reading! If you liked this post, please like and share it. You can also find me on FB and IG. Sending you so much love!
When this gorgeous orange cat showed up meowing at my front door at the end of October last year, I knew he had been sent to me on purpose. I had literally cleared my heart and spoke my intention into the Universe that our next dog would arrive at our door a day or so before. My son was dying for a dog here. I decided I was ready if the Universe thought it was good for us.
Fast forward to a pet communicator telling me that this cat was an answer to my prayer and a powerful healer here to help me not worry because things were all working out. Here to remind me to keep me collecting as much joy as possible.
I didn’t understand then. I didn’t feel like I needed a powerful healer. And then the last month or so of my life happened. This cat came to be with me NOW.
Nothing major has happened. I’m like many others on this planet right now who have been cycling through some tough stuff welling up from my past. You know…the bit of a roller coaster clearing cycles we’ve been feeling in recent months. All just being brought to the surface so we can finally heal and move forward completely with the new energy we’re able to tap into now.
Abandonment wound. I have one. From my research, most of us might. Can happen in childhood when we feel abandoned by our parents emotionally. Can happen when a parent leaves and doesn’t have anything to do with us. Can happen when a significant person to us dies. Can happen when a lover leaves or a divorce happens.
What I’m realizing is that it’s my big thing, meaning the big thing that’s healing in me every time one of these waves comes over all of us. It’s what I was healing in my last relationship.
I thought I was done with it. It got triggered recently, but almost as soon as I did, I realized that I wasn’t feeling the emotions of that moment, but instead of moments past. You’re probably feeling some things from moments past too, because I’m hearing that a lot from other people. It’s not just our moments past that we’re healing now, it’s our parent’s moments and their parents etc etc. It’s important work. Tiring work. So naps might be needed or earlier bedtimes. Crying might happen. Extra self care and love is needed.
What I’m being shown is that it’s really all about learning to feel what we feel when we feel it and allowing those feelings to flow how they need to. I know I put off a lot of feeling from when I was a kid experiencing things I didn’t really understand. I made up stories in my mind about what was going on and why. And I’m realizing that that’s OK that I did that, but now, I’m stronger and able to deal with those issues. They’re coming up to feel now. Sometimes it’s obvious as to where my feelings are coming from. Luckily, our triggers make things known, so we can feel and heal those old wounds. Amazing to be grateful for triggers. Never thought I’d write that sentence. If we feel these things, we’ll release them and they won’t have a stronghold on us anymore. It doesn’t have to be more complicated than that to release what is coming up to be healed right now.
If you’re like me, your mind might get satisfaction in looking up traits associated with abandonment. Did you know that serial monogamist relationships in succession without break can be a form of self-medication? Guilty. We’re all human. Me, you, that person who drives you crazy. We’re all doing the best we can with where we are and we’re healing as we go. We all have lessons to learn and we all have things that need healed, or we wouldn’t be here. You are not alone. I know that for me, reading some of the things that go with abandonment wounds added clarity to my life and also reminded me of how far I’ve come.
Stop right now. Take a deep breath in. Think of the last year and all you’ve come through. Take a moment to feel good about how far you’ve come. Sending you so much love as we continue forward on this spiral of growth and expansion. We have not begun to move backwards. We’re simply digging deeper, so that more suppressed pain can be released to make way for even more light. Hang on. This all holds purpose for all of us.
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My memory of health returned to me in the summer of 2015. It was a slow build that began when I listened to my heart and ended my marriage. It wasn’t about my marriage though, it’s just that at that time, it marked a huge turning point for me, because instead of ignoring my intuition, I began following it about everything in my life.
My work with an amazing Homeopath that began in January of 2015, put me on a collision course with my well-being, body, mind, and spirit. I had initially not believed that my Homeopath could in fact get me off of many of my medications as she claimed she could, several of which were antibiotics that I had been taking for Lyme Disease and co-infections since July 2012. I believed (and my doctors had told me) with everything in me that I needed the antibiotics to rid me of the Lyme bacteria that had invaded my heart and brain. After all, every time I had stopped taking the antibiotics, I would have recurrences of chest pain reminiscent of my initial bout of pericarditis in the Fall of 2009. By the end of July 2015, after over 3 years on oral antibiotics, the yeast was gaining strong footing in my body, and I had to temporarily stop the antibiotics so I could start a stronger anti-fungal medication that was incompatible with the other medications. I knew that I didn’t have a choice, but I was very nervous about stopping the antibiotics. I had become so conditioned to need medication to prevent chest pain.
I had begun meditating in July of 2015 as a coping mechanism during a difficult time in my life. I used it to deal with overwhelming sadness and anxiety. Every time my mind began to spiral into stressful thoughts, I’d set a timer on my phone for varying lengths of time depending on what I had going on, 2 minutes, 10 minutes, 5 minutes, 15 minutes, and meditate. I’d clear my mind and focus on my breathing. What I noticed after doing this for a week or two was that I began to see the bigger picture of my life situation. I began to be very aware that my soul was working on bigger things than I could be aware of at that time. I gained an amazing sense of peace that all was right in the world and in my life, and that even as the stressful situation continued, it did not shake me out of that bigger sense of knowing. I was blanketed in a peace unlike anything I had ever experienced before. I sometimes forget about that week of peace. Essentially, it gave me the knowing that that level of peace was all I needed to be seeking in life. I became committed to not stopping until I attained it again. I began to live with a conviction to not put up with situations or people in my life that disrupted my inner peace.
As I was off the antibiotics for days, then a week, then 2 weeks, I kept thinking that I would restart them, but I kept NOT starting them. At that point, I was over taking handfuls of pills every day, multiple times a day. There were pills I had to take when I woke up, before breakfast. There were pills, I needed to take with breakfast. There were probiotics I had to take 2 hours after the pills with breakfast. There were pills I then had to take again at lunch, and yet again with dinner. There were pills I had to take before bed. From the beginning, I was taking medications to ward off the side effects of other medications. My medication regimen felt like a full-time job in and of itself. The yeast issues were the last straw. I was done. My body confirmed this and began making me gag every time I took a pill.
More importantly, my symptoms weren’t returning!! I didn’t have any chest pain! I was shocked, and happily surprised! So I then began to pose some questions to myself. What exactly made me “sick”? Was I sick because I had been diagnosed with Lyme Disease and a host of other tick-born infections, or was it based on how I felt? In that moment, I decided that from then on, it was going to be based on how I felt, and I felt great!
I continued my daily homeopathy remedy, but I stopped every other medication and supplement I had been taking. I realize that it was extreme to stop the supplements and my antidepressant, but after starting the pill routine almost 6 years earlier in the winter of 2009 following my emergent heart surgery (pericardial window), I began to gag at the mere thought of taking pills. My body was rejecting that lifestyle, and I finally started to listen to my body.
I started thinking of myself as healthy, and cured. It was a way of thinking that went against what my doctor and specialist were telling me, because they say that Lyme Disease can never be cured. But here I was feeling fine, after years of a dis-ease that had been severely constricting my ability to live my life with freedom to do the things I so loved to do like hike, working full-time 12+ hours as a Registered Nurse, and taking care of my son on my days off. It felt like a miracle. I had never thought that I’d ever be free from my symptoms, let alone my medications. As I changed my thoughts about my dis-ease, the shift in my health was AMAZING!!
By the summer of 2016, I was testing my body and getting back into hiking! I remember my first long, solo hike to Corbett Lake like it was yesterday. It was a 6.3 mile hike that began at 7,400 feet elevation and went mostly uphill to 9,070 feet. I’ve read online that the hike involves a total of 19 switchbacks up on the way in, and down on the way out. I was feeling great and had done smaller hikes leading up to this one, but when I hit that trail, I didn’t really know for sure that I’d be able to do it. It was such a gorgeous hike! Hiking solo meant that I could stop to catch my breath on the switchbacks without feeling bad about it. I stopped to eat when I felt hungry. I hiked my own way, in my own time and it felt so empowering! At one point, I got to a vista that overlooked the a lake below and the surrounding mountains. I stood there beaming, laughing, and then crying with joy at what my body was able to do, and at the beauty of nature all around me. I was back! My health was back! I was completely overwhelmed by the bliss of it all. I stood there with such gratitude for the experience, the strength of my body, and of my resilience. I wondered if others ever cry when they are out hiking and are met with such a beautiful view.
I continued my way up to the lake. I was amazed to have such a amazing spot all to myself. I think I hung out there for 3 or 4 hours that day. I had a dance party on a downed tree and later again on a giant boulder. I swam and snorkeled across the lake. I read a book. I meditated. I took a lakeside nap. I laid in the sun and in the shade. I listened to the wind blow across the water as it caused the clear, alpine lake water to lap at the shore. I marveled at the beauty that was that moment, in its entirety: the lake, my body, my returned/renewed/realized state of wellness.
The last paragraph of Deepak Chopra’s book, “Quantum Healing” could be written about me. “I have no fear for her now, even if she had to begin her battle again. Eleanor is beyond battles — she radiates the peacefulness that she writes about, and spending time with her makes me feel happy and secure, all the more because I understand how rare her peace is. From the despair of disease, she has discovered joy. At the moment when the memory of health returned, it brought her enough peace to last a lifetime.”
From the despair of dis-ease, I discovered my joy, and as my memory of health returned it gave me a power that has been with me ever since and will last my entire lifetime. Before I knew anything about Quantum healing and Ayurveda, I was utilizing some of the techniques without realizing it. I continue to use the power of my mind to change my life, and to help the clients I work with to use the same techniques to heal themselves and change their own lives. It is my passion, my joy, and my soul’s purpose to use my past experiences to empower and inspire others on their own journeys. The time has come for us all to realize the power of our own minds, and the potential that we all hold to live our best, most healthy lives!
If you are currently in a place where you find yourself challenged by dis-ease, then I highly encourage you to sign up for my email newsletter and gain access to a video I made that outlines 5 simple, yet POWERFUL techniques I’ve used on my own healing journey HERE.
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Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it! As always, if my words resonate with you and you feel so inclined, reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I would love to connect with you! Sending you so much love!
Here’s a link to one of my favorite songs to dance to these days, Matisyahu “Thunder” HERE. Enjoy!