When you open my chest on the autopsy table you will find the silver lining around my scarred heart marking the illness I overcame.
You will find a turquoise sea of love that I experienced throughout my lifetime.
Lust for places I traveled to and fell in love with, and all of the places that were always on my list for a future time.
You will find images of my son tucked away — saving them like photographs in an old static-cling photo album we always had when I was a kid.
You will find the joy that filled my days after the needle that removed the serosanguineous fluid from around my heart gave me a second chance at life — true, fully alive life.
You will find parts of every person I have connected with, every moment in nature I’ve spent, and every adventure I have ever had.
Body decaying, spirit gone on to the next life to live and love again through another suit with its own bones and flesh and organs.
A chest open with remnants remaining with the spark of my spirit on to the next time and place.
When you open my chest on the autopsy table, you won’t find me.
I am boundless and ever-evolving.
I’ll be back among the stars.
Energy swirling around the cosmos connecting back in with the Source that I AM.
When my body died, my spirit lept out and became everything that it always was — INFINITE.
I wrote this in a spoken word workshop I participated in this past weekend. We all had to include the same 5 words (I accidentally left one of them out) with the same opening line. We wrote for 10 minutes. This is what came of it. I hadn’t really thought about what I had written until I stood in front of the group to read it. Reading it out loud moved me to tears. It made me realize how even with everything I’ve been through, life is so very beautiful.
When I do leave this body, I want the people who love me to internalize this message. Read this at a party on the beach around a bonfire while people drum, dance, and celebrate! Toss my cremated remains into the sea and move on with gratitude for any moments you shared with me. We are far more than the meat suits we’re currently wearing. Life would not be so sweet without death. We are all infinite spiritual beings having a human experience.
Thank you for being here. If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG or FB for more inspiring content. Sending you all so much love!
I had the BEST day yesterday!! This picture is a throw back to when my friend Jerrett Johnson and I danced with the lovely Diana Hurtado in her home, but it really captures the joy I feel about my life right now!
I went to bed KNOWING that I am doing everything I am meant to be doing right now! It’s an incredible feeling to say the least! I made space for it all to manifest by following my joy and intuition and prioritizing my energy over the last year. I couldn’t have predicted ANY of the things that I am currently doing! It has all come to me as I’ve recognized the divinity of the timing for people and situations to be placed on my path and started saying YES to what shows up! I’ve given up knowing the HOW for the kind of life I want to live and the impact on the world that I’ve set the intention to make and I’ve surrendered to all that is. The last year plus of growth has given me the amazing gift of emphatically trusting my journey! I have seen how things that are meant for me come onto my path, and things not meant for me leave without drama.
My awareness and perspectives have expanded by leaps and bounds. I have been pushed out of my comfort zone so many times that it’s getting to be my norm. When I find myself getting comfortable, I get nudged to venture even farther out. It hasn’t always been comfortable. I have had times where it has felt very easy, and times when it has felt so difficult that I’ve spent the day crying. I’ve been forced to grow in big ways and to become the person who has the confidence and ability to do the things I’ve been guided to do. I’ve taken on projects that were not planned, and have grown close to people I’ve just met. I’ve gotten better at getting out of my own way, and am really good at listening to the now easier to hear whispers of my spirit. I now know that only good things come from following them. I am no longer interested in chasing or forcing things. I see how all that is meant for me flows naturally and is usually obvious to me now. I have the hindsight to see that projects that didn’t work out were all for a reason. I needed to meet people and get to a certain place in my own growth to be able to move forward.
Yesterday I started working one on one with a 19 year old who is autistic, nonverbal and HIGHLY intelligent. He’s an amazing writer, but it takes a lot of effort for him to express what he wants to say. A speech that he wrote got selected to be read at his graduation earlier this year. When I read it, I knew I was supposed to help him write more. I am so excited to work with him and hopefully help him get the words out of his head and onto pages. To say that his perspective is unique and needed in this world is the understatement of the year. He has so much to express and I can’t wait to hear it all!
I also hosted the second class of my Teen Mindfulness Group last night. What an amazing group of kids I get to work with! I’ve known for a while that I am supposed to work with teens. I feel silly now that I was ever nervous about doing it, because I am absolutely LOVING it! I can share so much more about real life things with the teenagers than I can with the 8-12 year old kids that I teach. I am making a difference and that lights me up! I woke up today wanting to start mentoring teens 1:1. I am realizing that my journey has prepared me to give the support and encouragement and insight about life to these teenagers that I would have loved to have when I was their age.
I love being the person that other people feel comfortable opening up to! I have had so many amazing conversations with people who are relieved that they finally have someone who they can talk to about all things spiritual that they don’t feel like they can talk to other people about! As I have opened up more, I have noticed how people then open up with me. Connection with other humans fills my heart like nothing else. I can’t ever get enough of it. I am on a path to free myself from the confines of the program and I am always happy to share what I have learned, so that I can help others do the same.
People ask me “what do you do?” I say, “how much time do you have?” I do what my spirit guides me to do. Right now, that means that I teach mindfulness to children, teens, and adults, I connect with people deeply and let them know that they are not alone, I coach people to follow their dreams and to express themselves fully and creatively, I work 1:1 with a teenager who has a lot of things to say, but just needs some extra help saying them, I plan dance parties and get people to drop their masks and live their joy to their healing and alignment, I utilize the powerful healing modality of Dreamtime Healing using Holographic Kinetics to help people heal themselves at the spirit level so that they can shift into alignment and thrive in their lives, I paint and draw and sell my art. I have a LOT on the horizon too. We ALL always have a lot of new opportunities on the horizon if we allow for it. Open your eyes and heart. Pay attention to the subtle whispers of your spirit. Follow your joy and intuition. Pay attention to the signs and synchronicities. Be grateful for all that you have and all that you do, because in a year, your life may look completely different than it does right now. I am learning to savor the moment more. I have learned to find peace in the unknown. I am positively impacting this world. My life is a success, because I am doing what my spirit came here to do. Are you?
At the beginning of this year, I read an article that reminded me of the importance of seeing our favorite musicians live. It spoke of the joy that these experiences bring us and also to the fleeting nature of life and how we never know if we will have future opportunities to see our favorites perform. Music has always been a big part of my life. It has been my most consistent form of therapy.
The article inspired me, so I set the intention that I would see my top 3 favorites this year, Xavier Rudd, Michael Franti, and Matisyahu, and I manifested all three FRONT ROW CENTER! I appreciate the fact that they all create with lyrics that are uplifting, meaningful, spiritual, real, and generally clean so that I feel good listening to them all on repeat around my young son. They aren’t just amazing musicians, but also amazing people.
I got to see Matisyahu on May 5th at Grizzly Fest in Fresno. I’ve been listening to Matis since June of 2016 when a family I was caring for in the hospital was listening to him in their room after having a new baby. I’ve listened to his albums on repeat so many times. He has played a big part in my transformation and awaking over the last 3 years. His music has gotten me through a lot! Aside from the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass concert my son went to when he was a baby, Matisyahu was my son’s first concert. We drove a few hours to the beach, so that we could see him live in San Luis Obispo. I taught my son how to get front row spots and keep them and he was all in. He was 8 years old at the time. We later met Matis after a show in Fresno and my son had him sign his shirt. As we stood there with him and had our picture taken, I could feel the good, grounding energy emanating from Matisyahu. That energetic impression of him has always stuck with me. Energy speaks volumes to me where oftentimes words and logic fall short. Matisyahu has amazing energy. My son and I have connected a lot through the concerts we’ve been to and Matisyahu’s music. His music also helped me a lot as I took my power back in my life, put myself first for a change, and quit my job in the hospital.
As my 40th birthday approached, I saw that Michael Franti and Spearhead were playing on the coast the day before, so I got myself a ticket for my birthday and drove over. I had a great time connecting with a couple who was also hanging out in the front before the show even began and the woman and I had a great conversation. I learned that she was interested in nursing and I shared about my leap of faith out of my nursing job in the hospital and of the Holographic Kinetics healing modality based on Dreamtime Healing of the aboriginal people of Australia that I currently use. We were both amazed when the opening band, Nattali Rize, announced that they were from Jamaica and Australia. In fact, the lead singer said that Michael Franti had found her on a beach in Byron Bay, Australia, the next place on my list to visit there! If you’ve seen my 21 day Michael Franti’s Show Me Your Moves dancing challenge videos on IG, then you already have a sense of why I love Michael’s music so much. He’s got some of the most uplifting lyrics around and a lot of it makes me want to dance! This show was extra special. Michael had a special guest, Jocelyn Goldman, come on stage and sing “Love Will Find a Way”. It’s a little girl I’ve seen videos of singing his music while playing the ukulele. The fact that kids can connect with him and his music is part of why I love him so much! He even had a bunch of kids come up on the stage and dance during his set. How cool is that?! I danced SO hard at this show! I got thanked for dancing during the opening band. And then I was straight up jumping for most of Michael Franti and Spearhead’s show. At the end of the show, I was blessed to have Michael come off of the stage and plant himself at the railing I was standing at RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! He stood there performing a song acoustically and I just had to look up at him to watch. I could have reached out and touched him. It was AMAZING! When he finished, he climbed over the railing into the crowd and I got to thank him and give him a hug. I was filled with so much joy that night! I felt like I was floating. It was the perfect way to ring in my freshest effin’ decade yet!
I was first introduced to Michael Franti and Spearhead by a coworker of mine in Alaska. After the job ended, she sent me a CD with a bunch of different artists and they were one of them. Several years later, I got to see them live at the Telluride Bluegrass Festival when I was working in New Mexico for the summer. I drove up with a group of coworkers in a VW bus and we had such a great time! There were years that I virtually stopped listening to music. I gave my power away and allowed myself to get lost in a marriage. The fact that I didn’t even want to listen to music should have been the biggest red flag of my life, but I didn’t listen and suffered the loss of my health because of it. Michael was there again once I was out of that situation. And he was there several years later when my health began cooperating and I was able to do the outdoor things I loved again. Often when I listen to Michael’s music, I am reminded of the summer of 2016 when I began to really get aligned with my spirit through following my joy as often as I could.
I got to see Xavier Rudd at the Whalerock Music Festival this September. My awesome friend Kamryn invited me to go with her. I discovered Xavier Rudd at a live show he did with Brett Dennen in Portland Oregon in about 2006. I was with friends who went to the show to see Xavier Rudd and didn’t know of Brett Dennen, and at that time, I was there for Brett Dennen and had never heard of Xavier. You can’t see a show like the one he put on and not become a huge fan! I was hooked from that point on. Xavier is from Australia. If you know me at all, then you know that I’ve been drawn to Australia and all things and people Australian my whole life. At the time of the show in Portland, Xavier sat surrounded by a circle of instruments that he, himself, was playing. He was a one man band. I had never before seen anything like it. He played a slide guitar in his lap, he kept a beat with his foot, and he wore a harmonica that he played in times when he wasn’t singing or playing the didgeridoo. I was blown away! Xavier has periods of time when he doesn’t tour in the US much, but luckily he was in California this year! We were front row center through his performance and we were both deeply affected by the loving, healing energy he was sending out that night. It was the most magical performance I have ever seen. My friend was moved to tears. I set the intention during the show to send Xavier and his band love from my own spirit. At one point, Xavier was standing right in front of me as he ended a song and he looked me right in the eyes for a long while as I was signing ‘I love you’ on both hands and saying it too. We smiled at each other. It’s a moment of connection between our humans and spirits that I will never forget for my whole life. He felt like family to me.
Friends, it’s time to prioritize our joy, because when we do, we align with our spirit which is the answer to everything else we want in this life. So go see your favorite musicians perform as often as you can! We get to choose what we feed our bodies, minds, and spirits. The more uplifting experiences we have, the more aligned we become, the more elevated our energy becomes, and the more we are able to THRIVE in this life. It’s time to stop surviving and start thriving! Seek out live shows of the musicians that you love! Seek out musicians who do good in the world. Seek out musicians whose lyrics have a way of always making you feel better. Seek out music that moves and inspires you at the spirit level. Every time we do these things for ourselves, we change our lives for the better, and therefore change the world for the better! Follow your joy and intuition to your alignment! You will be so happy you did! I am! When we cultivate inner peace, it is reflected back to us in the world. Do things that bring you peace and joy, and the world will be more peaceful and joyful.
You can see Michael Franti and Jocelyn Goldman perform “Once a Day” HERE.
Thank you for reading along! If you liked this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG at peaceful.jellyfish or FB on my Peaceful Jellyfish page for more inspirational content! Sending you all so much love!
Five of my drawings are now available as high-quality prints on 5 x 7 folded blank greeting cards with envelopes. The locally owned, family operated business I had print them did a great job. These cards really capture the details of my artwork! I always infuse my original artwork with healing Reiki energy that people have said they could feel. I also infuse these cards with healing Reiki.