Question EVERYTHING!

I didn’t grow up within religion. The most religion I experienced as a kid was going to vacation bible school for a week in the summer with my best friend, Jimmy. I didn’t know how the other kids knew the answers to the questions being asked during out trivia games, because I had never learned such things. As I grew up, science became my religion. Starting in high school, I took a lot of biology classes, chemistry, conservation, math, and anatomy and physiology. I had dreams of becoming a heart surgeon at one point, and then a pediatrician or a nurse who works with babies. If you know me in real life, then you know how fitting these all became for me. From high school, I went to college and began taking more science classes. Botany, more chemistry, marine biology, physics, more math, zoology etc. Because I dove right into science which became my major, I graduated in 4 years despite having gone to 3 different colleges/universities.

Fast forward to the now moment. I am seeing how programmed we all are to become so left brain dominant. We are taught to seek ‘facts’ created through the scientific method, and found via our EXTREMELY limited 5 senses. My training in Holographic Kinetics in May opened my eyes to our true multidimensionality and the fact that nothing in this world is as it seems, especially the world we view with our senses.

And so I seek to further expand my mind. I have already given thanks in the past for the fact that religion is one thing that I didn’t have to deprogram from my mind. I’ve had enough work to do as it is as I’ve become an observer of my thoughts. This book I’m currently reading hits on this subject so beautifully for me. As a trained scientist, I shunned religion, but in a sense adopted science as my religion and believed what it told me. As I’ve worked to awaken my right brain to get in touch with my imagination, creativity, and intuition, I’ve had to let go of my tight grip on science. After my sessions in Holographic Kinetics, I realized that the ‘new age’ movement I had been subscribing to was also a form of religion convincing me that I need the help of spirit guides and crystals to manifest the things I was seeking. Nope.

The truth of the matter is that you and me, we’re both made from the same energy and are essentially Source/God in a human meat suit. We are infinite consciousness. As I’ve aligned with my own spirit and made that my priority, I’ve been able to manifest all sorts of things, big and small. We are such powerful creators, but we don’t realize it and so we’re walking around as gods praying to gods to help us. We’ve lost sight of our innate ability to help ourselves.

I’m not here to argue with peoples’ beliefs, I’m here to make people aware of their own power. I’ve always questioned things since I was a young child, never happy with an answer like “it’s just the way it is”, but even with that, I succumbed to the same programming that we’re all fed throughout our lives. Question EVERYTHING. Know that you have the ability to dream up and therefore create ANYTHING. Look to your own spirit’s guidance. Set your priority to raise your vibration and maintain it. How? Follow your joy. Follow your intuition. Set out to be the most authentic and vulnerable version of yourself. I raise my vibration and align with my spirit by spending time in nature (usually near and/or in water) doing fun things sometimes alone, sometimes with others, dancing, singing, drumming, meeting new people and connecting with them at a deep level, writing, empowering people through my mindfulness coaching, classes and Holographic Kinetics sessions. What lights you up? I suggest you do more of that and less giving your power away to anything outside of yourself.

Don’t accept every answer you’re given. Don’t believe everything that you hear or are taught in school. We already know that the history taught in schools is skewed, so we must consider that other information taught to us in school is also skewed. I’m talking elementary right on up the line through college/university. Case in point: I wasn’t taught about Lyme disease in nursing school. The closest we even touched the subject was because our instructor’s daughter had nearly died from it. And I know that doctors aren’t taught much about it either because I had quite the defensive responses from the group in on my care when a nurse practitioner diagnosed me with Lyme disease. Most told me that there isn’t Lyme here (uh, I know several who have gotten it while living here), and one doctor that I had previously really respected dismissed the diagnosis as well. Yet I tested positive and was under the care of Lyme specialists for years. Seems like an issue if the CDC is right in saying that Lyme is likely causing more like 300,000 new cases in the US every year vs the mere 30,000 that is being reported. Why? Doctors aren’t being trained on how to recognize Lyme clinically and are instead relying on blood tests that have already been proven to be ineffectual in most cases.

Start looking for the agenda behind things we deem as ‘routine’ and ‘normal’. Consider the fact that there is so much to this world that you haven’t learned about yet. Open your mind to your innate power. Open your mind to things currently outside of your belief system. I know that can be difficult, I’ve been there myself. I now loosely hold thoughts and beliefs as I realize that I could learn something new tomorrow that will make what I know today a thing of the past. My training in Holographic Kinetics changed everything for me. It’s not that I’ve just taken the Laws of LORE at face value, but I’ve experienced and witnessed things for myself first-hand that have proven them to be true. The world looks very different through the lens of an open mind.

Above picture is from page 24 of the book “Remember Who You Are” by David Icke.

Thanks for reading along. If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG! Sending you all so much love!

It’s Time to Rise Up!

Join me in realizing that we don’t know the half of what’s going on in this world and who is behind the puppets in power/fame in this country. As the news of sex trafficking and pedophila related to Jeffrey Epstein and his sick island come out, I suspect that loads of high profile people will be outed not only as knowing that this was happening, but in being active participants as well. This isn’t a new problem. This isn’t even the first time that this information has been brought forward. I stopped paying attention to news when I lost my health many years ago because I noticed the fear-based model they were using and I did not need more to be afraid of than the thought of never being healthy enough to fully live my life. We’ve already heard so many people in Hollywood partaking in these sick behaviors and yet they continue to happen. Celebrities molesting children. Celebrities being forced to sell their souls and have sex with certain people to gain their fame and fortune. Rapes, sexual assault, and abuse.

This post is from the spring of 2017. The scope of the problem has been known for some time now. https://newspunch.com/dr-phil-elite-pedophile-rings/

We’ve got to wake up and take our power back in a world where we’ve become so held down by our 9-5 busy, indebted, enslaved culture that we’ve allowed our energy to be held at such a low vibration for so long that we have a hard time believing that we are infinite consciousness. We were programmed and trained to be slaves to a system that only wants us to keep it running so that the wealthy 1% can remain wealthy and in power while the ones above them fund both sides of wars and arguments to keep us at war with and fighting each other.

Everything you think you stand for that makes you feel at odds with other groups of people was designed to do just that. Every conviction you have that your neighbor has the opposite and so you choose to hate them was designed so that you would hate. Race, religion, sexual orientation, politics: all ways to distract and divide us. Dig yourself out of the programming and start questioning EVERYTHING. I’ve said this so many times: we are easier to control when we are divided. If you don’t think we’re being divided on purpose, then you’re not paying attention. I am not the labels being placed on me. I am infinite consciousness in a human body, and so are you. We rise by lifting ourselves and others up. Start taking back your power by following your own intuition and joy! Work to expand your mind beyond what your limited five senses are telling you. (Did you know that we are essentially blind, because we’re only able to see visible light which is a minute fraction of what actually exists in this expansive world?!) Don’t believe everything you’re taught or told, in school or otherwise. Realize that your thoughts are creating your life 100%, including the subconscious ones of which you aren’t yet aware.

Let’s stop living in fear and stress. Let’s make the choice to stop hating others who believe differently than we do. Let’s start showing the love and compassion to the planet, our fellow humans, and all life that we are all saying we want to see more of in this world. Change starts with each of us. Are we done playing small yet? Are we done fighting with each other? Are we ready to remove the walls between us and love more? I am. Every day, we can each choose to show up as the kinds of people who we want to connect with in our day to day life. Each day we can choose to see the bigger picture beyond our limited scope of reality. As you shift your observation, you’ll start to see how magical this life can become when you connect with your spirit and you let go of all of your convictions that have maybe seemed, at times, more important than other humans. It’s OK, we’re all learning. We can choose to learn together. We can choose to stop fighting each other and killing each other. We can choose to LOVE each other.

If you’ve read all of this and you still have something you feel so strongly about that you feel hate, fear, anger welling up in your body over, then I ask you to dig deeper into why you feel that way, where you’ve been getting your information, and what you can do to transmute those emotions into positive action and more positive emotions.

We’ve got to stop playing victims in this world. There is no one to blame beyond ourselves because we’ve allowed our thoughts to be controlled and manipulated, so that we’re left feeling small and powerless, and wanting for all solutions outside of ourselves. I’m telling you, your freedom exists within you, not without. Your power lies in your thoughts, words, actions, and deeds. They are the basis for the reality that you are creating around you. If you’re living a life true to yourself with all of the unique expression you can muster, then I applaud you and ask you to please keep it up for yourself and well-being of humanity. If, on the other hand, you are living what feels like a small life and know that you are functioning at a fraction of the potential you can feel to your core, and are feeling like you’re living in a box, constantly worried about what people will think of you, I ask you to expand your conscious awareness. Find ways to step out of your comfort zone often. Start following your joy more, so that you can then connect more deeply with your own spirit/intuition. YOU are the one who has the power and ability to change your life. YOU are part of the delicately selected thread of people chosen to be here at exactly this time as your complete, authentic, and vulnerable expression of source/god/universe itself. We do not need the version of you who conforms and follows the other sheep. You are here you be YOU in all of your unique grandeur and weirdness!

When we step into our own power and align with our own spirit and stop giving our power away to things outside of ourselves, we take our power back and change the kinds of things that are able to happen on this planet. Rise up my friends! I’ll meet you there!

Need help rising? Work with me! Reach out to me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com.

Watch Michael Franti and Spearhead’s “Once a Day” music video HERE for more inspiration to RISE UP!

If you enjoyed this post, you can follow me on IG and/or FB for more content. Please share with others who may need to hear this message. Thank you for reading. Sending you all so much love!

We Create Our Relationships

I choose my thoughts and my thoughts create my reality! I choose to think that conscious people attract conscious partners. End of story.

I see other sayings bouncing around about spiritual women attracting men who need healing. Hate to break it to you, but we’re the ones attracting people into our reality. It’s not some random thing. It’s energetic. If you don’t like the types of people you’re attracting into your life, then your best bet is to start looking at your own vibration. Are you showing up as the person you’re seeking? Are you loving yourself up? Do you believe that you are worthy of love? Of a conscious partner? Are you generally joyous or miserable? Negative or positive?

We’re the only ones we can blame in our game, because we’re so powerful that we create it. Read that again. I attracted a controlling person when I was tired of making all of the decisions in another relationship. I didn’t want to plan every activity anymore. This person did. Problem solved. Also, even though I didn’t realize it at the time, I was attempting to fill a void in me with another person. And that doesn’t work. Ever. So stop trying. Depending on other people for the love that we should be giving ourselves never makes for a happy, healthy relationship. I take full responsibility for the situation I created with my low self-esteem, lack of self-love, decision to no longer be the one guiding my life, and my codependent ways. Me. It all brought me to ground zero. Being broken isn’t always a bad thing if what you needed was a restart. I left that relationship not even knowing what I preferred the thermostat to be set at. I didn’t know what made me happy, or even what kind of music I liked because I stopped listening to it for years. (Red flag #6,837,263) I had to start myself over. Reset!

It’s almost like I was deprogrammed from things I had come to learn about myself since birth. It was all erased, because I had lost myself so completely in that relationship. I literally had to start rebuilding myself. From scratch I had to figure out things I liked to do, people I liked to be around, and music I liked to listen to, to name a few. I also had to start loving myself and putting my needs and well-being first, which is how I gathered the courage to leave. I had to be mentally and physically healthy, so that I could be there for myself and my young son.

And so, I started over. That’s not to say that some other repeating relationship patterns didn’t show up again until I realized that I was the common denominator. If you find yourself in this place of seeing cycles of similarities in all of your relationships, do yourself a favor and stop playing victim and get back into the driver’s seat. Take back your power as a powerful creator in this world, and stop blaming other people for your unhappiness. Take that last relationship that ended the same way as your wake up call to do the work that you didn’t even know you needed to do. Look within for a change. Live yourself. Be kind to yourself. Stop with the negative self-talk. Stop putting every single other person‘s needs ahead of meeting your own.

We get what we expect in life. Our subconscious thoughts about ourselves and life tend to run the show until we become conscious creators. Are you going to put your energy into dwelling on what you’ve attracted in the past, or are you going to focus on raising your vibration and attracting something so good that it’s beyond the scope of your current imagination?! I know what I’m choosing.

Have you ever heard the saying “you don’t get what you want. You get what you are.”? It came to me today after writing most of this that I have experienced this literally in my life. We have to get really honest with ourselves to see it sometimes. Like the time I was dating someone and was getting so annoyed that he was emotionally unavailable. Haha! Yeah, at this point, I was conscious enough to get annoyed, but then realized shortly after that I was not emotionally available either. Sometimes in this life as we’re all so used to following the beat of the dividing drum, we point fingers at others when in fact, WE are the ones we need to be reflecting on. I had several things come up during this time with this person, and none of it was about them, not really. For every single issue I had, I could see where inside me it was stemming from. When you attain this level of awareness, the people in your life stop becoming the enemy. You see people as actual reflections of you, and the parts of you that need healed. Or, you uncover some limiting belief about yourself or life that has been unconsciously creating your life. Are you so spiritual that you’re attracting partners who need healed, or are you in fact attracting mirrors who are showing you parts of yourself that still need healed? It’s time to level up across the board. Now is not the time to be aware in some areas of our lives, yet asleep in others. Allow your righteousness to fall away, because no one is more ‘right’ than another. This life is not about competition, it’s about aligning with our own spirits so that we can consciously create the lives of our dreams. We have to start in our own lanes if we want to create lasting change in our lives and in the world. The change has to start within. So, pay attention. What are you attracting into your life? The answer to this question will tell you where your energetic vibration has been up to now. Don’t worry if you’re not where you want to be yet, you have the power to change it.

The reality is that we are all one. When you treat another with kindness, you are being kind to yourself. When you hate another, you are sending hate to yourself. We’re connected, as we are all Source/Universe/God in human form. So do your best to drop the labels and stop the finger pointing. Show up with more compassion for everyone, including yourself firstly. It is not ‘selfish’ to put yourself first. Because we are all so intimately connected, when you take care of yourself, you also take care of me.

Locally, I am available for Dreamtime Healing using Holographic Kinetics sessions. You can read more about it at http://www.holographickinetics.com. In session, your spirit guides us on a journey back in time to find the points of creation for 3 issues that you are currently struggling with, so that you can change that dimension of time permanently at the level of the spirit. It essentially then breaks the repeating cycles of similarity in your life that have been and would otherwise continue to repeat. Reach out to me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com for more information or visit the Holographic Kinetics website to find a practitioner near you.

Thank you for reading along! If you liked this post, please like and share it! You can also follow me on IG and/or FB for more inspiring content. Sending you all so much love!

Music. Healing. Matisyahu.

In June of 2016, I had the pleasure of taking care of one of the sweetest families ever born when they were in the hospital having their second child, a boy. I remember both of the children’s names to this day. I’m telling you, this couple and their kids were some of the most beautiful spirits. Their smiles and positive energy are forever etched in my mind and made my life better in the day that I got to care for them. The other nurses who were lucky to get them in the days following me talked about how amazing they were too. Everyone wanted to be their nurse. The Dad commented that maybe they’d run into me at the Farmer’s Market, but so far, that hasn’t happened. I look for them though, and think of them often, with a smile on my face.

They were playing music in their room. At one point, when I had gone in to check on them, I really liked the song that was playing and asked the woman who it was. She told me and confirmed it by looking at the playlist on her phone. I played it cool, but barely knew what she had said, and I didn’t move my pride aside long enough to get the clarification. So I went home that night and googled it: modest yahoo. Hahaha!! Luckily, google figured it out for me and gave me my answer: Matisyahu.

Little did I know how much I needed Matisyahu, his message, and his music in my life. For the next almost 3 years, he’s helped me through a lot in my life, namely my total life transformation, the discovery and awakening of my true, higher self, my leap of faith out of my RN job in the hospital, my journey with my own business which is essentially my career of surrender and faith, and the immense amount of healing work I have been doing for myself, my family, and my ancestors.

On May 5th, I saw Matisyahu live for the fourth time. I manifested it. One morning, I said out loud that I needed to get to that show, and by that same afternoon a friend had texted me about volunteering in exchange for a free ticket to THAT show! I was thrilled to be front row and nearly center during his performance. When I listen to music, I hear and feel the lyrics. To me, Matis lyrics speak of the changes that we as the human race need to make, so that we can all live in a world of peace and acceptance. A lot of his lyrics are spiritual in nature. I can relate to the things he sings about in such an intimate way, because the human experience is ultimately a shared experience of awakening to our limitless potential. To get to that state of realization, usually we experience a lot of hardships. The plot is not unique to any of us, though the specifics of the stories vary.

Our words are our bond. They are powerful and should not be said or thought lightly. They greatly impact our lives and the world around us. It is no different to express words that we have created ourselves or to walk around singing someone else’s song lyrics. Be mindful of what you are consuming and repeating. The shows we watch and the music we listen to are vitally important, because when we’re doing those activities, our minds become open to suggestion. It’s why companies pay so much for commercials on TV and radio. The thoughts we think become our reality. Pay attention to the music lyrics you’re consuming and walking around repeating out loud or in your head. Once you look at music this way, listening to the radio takes on a whole new meaning. I was in a Lyft recently and every song that came on in a succession of 4 or 5 songs was about the person giving up their power, being a victim, and submitting to something outside of themselves. Music is heavily influenced as an industry. Consider choosing music that lifts you up without selling you material things, a certain lifestyle, or a victim mentality that leaves you seeking help from outside of yourself. The music played to the masses over the radio is most noticeably influenced, because it reaches the most people, but all music has the ability to sell a message that keeps us living small.

How is the music that you’re listening to make you feel? What messages is it sending you about life or about yourself? Would you be OK with the lyrics you’ve been walking around singing manifesting in your life? If not, it’s time to find some new music.

I actually walked away from music at the House Music Festival in Chicago several times yesterday, because they started playing things with words that just did not feel good to me. Our subconscious minds pick up everything we take in, and more so when it’s put to a catchy beat. Start paying attention to how TV and music make you feel and the kinds of messages planted in them. It’ll open up your mind in such a big way when you start paying attention.

Music has the ability to lift us up and get us through tough times. It has the ability to align us to our spirit. It has the ability to connect us all in dance. The next time you’re out at a show, consider putting your phone away and joining in the dancing. Life is short to spend it taking video the entire time of the fun going on around you. Join in. Dance. Risk being seen. Risk looking like a fool. Those of us dancing aren’t thinking about you. We’re enjoying life! Enjoy it with us!

Thank you for reading along! If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. You can also catch me over on IG and FB for more content. Much love to you!

Watch Michael Franti and Spearhead‘s “Love Will Find a Way” HERE

Fleeting Moments

Grief. It’s a tricky thing. I didn’t realize how much grief I had stored in my body until recently when I went and saw the movie “Five Feet Apart”, followed by crying at Rob Bell’s ‘An Introduction of Joy’, an amazing purging of emotions during a craniosacral therapy session, and followed today by nearly bursting into tears as I watched a little three-year-old boy in front of me in line at the grocery store. Isn’t that the way with grief? It comes up at the most seemingly unlikely of times. It hadn’t even been on my radar and then BOOM, there it was, over and over and over again.

I’ve asked for this. I’ve asked Source and my higher self to help clear out anything no longer serving me. I ask for it every time I shower. I ask the water to heal me and cleanse me of any energy or way of being that is no longer serving my highest good. Enter in emotions that have been stored deep within me being brought to the surface and into my conscious awareness to be healed once and for all. The things that have been coming up have caught me a bit off guard. It’s been from patients in the hospital who died on comfort care during my time of taking care of them. It’s come up for the loss of my father-in-law as his birthday just passed. It’s come up today for the grief I feel as a mother of a child who is growing and changing right in front of my eyes.

I have felt like my grief is sitting in my chest in a conglomerate of sorts, all jumbled up together in a ball of burnt, shredded and dismantled rubber from a tire that has blown out on a highway. It’s all there, melted together. Actual deaths and suicides of friends and family. Figurative deaths of my marriage, of my old self who processed everything as best she could at the time, the loss I feel from each year that my son grows and morphs into his next round of humanness. Relationships come and gone. Jobs come and gone. Places come and gone. Some things hit harder than others, even in my new understanding and beliefs of how this all works and the fact that I don’t believe any soul ever ‘dies’.

My experience and grief is relative. I do not mean to downplay or gloss over other kinds of grief by expressing my own experiences. I left the grocery store today in tears about my son’s growth, recorded a video about it, and then learned that a friend suffered a miscarriage. It only further reiterated the fragile nature of life and the importance of our appreciation and presence in all of the moments.

My grief was pushed down and avoided when I went to work or school and was trying to function in the world as I felt like crying, but put a smile on instead. When my sadness overcame me in the form of depression and wishing for death, I still had to find a way to live in the world. That dichotomy consumed me at times. The mask I wore nearly suffocated me. Can you relate?

I almost did that today. In fact, I suppose I did do that at the register as I watched the two young boys in front of me and awaited my turn to check out and pay. I dared not completely lose it and breakdown right then and there as I waited to pay. I saved that for a few moments later for when I expressed my gratitude to the Mom that I had remained in line behind her and her children after she had told me I could go ahead of her. I cried. I cried as I spoke of my son and his crocs and the fact that he was now nearly my size, and the fact that the time had moved so fast. I cried on my way to my car, got to my car and cried some more. I know from experience that this wasn’t only about my son. This was just a path of least resistance to have me open up and release years of grief stored within me. Tears have the power to cleanse us. Tears have the power to heal us, yet often, we hold them back.

I found myself basking in the ever present fleeting nature of this life, all the moments, and all the people who have crossed my path. I recorded this video in that moment. THIS is why I live the way I do. I have taken care of a patient in their 20’s on comfort care with AIDS, surrounded by their twin and rest of their family during their final moments of life. I witnessed and stored the pain felt by their family within my body. I nearly lost my own life with a baby at home depending on me for nourishment and love. While I am aware of my infinite, spiritual nature, I also know that in this body, in this time and space, I only have one shot to make the most of it. My pain has fueled my passion. My heartache has fueled my love. I would not be who I am without every single experience of my life, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

I don’t know how else to say it. Please allow other people’s stories to impact yours. Please snap out of the sleep you’re in and start living life to the fullest. Please enjoy the small moments, because they are in fact, the most important moments of our lives.

It’s a choice to follow your passion or go along with the status quo. It’s a choice to remain asleep in victim consciousness or to wake up to your full power as a co-creator in this life. It is a choice whether or not to remain present during all of your moments or to check out.

In my life so far, I have lived both ways. I have seen how feeling like a victim affected my life and I am a witness daily to the way that realizing my power to shape my reality has positively transformed my life. I know what I will continue to choose.

I will choose growth, expansion, and healing. I will choose placing my priority on my energetic vibration and my alignment with my higher self. I will choose to listen to a nudge from my intuition over the loud voices of the people and institutions surrounding me. I was asleep and desperately trying to numb my feelings and the energy of those around me for most of my life, and I will not go back to that way of being.

I will do my best to continue to do the real ‘adulting’ in this life which I believe is to say that I will do my best to feel my feelings in the moment. I have learned that when I feel feelings as they arise, they are much easier to handle and process. I have learned that feeling my feelings now means that I won’t store them in my body to process later or to have them surface as dis-ease or pain at a later date. I know that our feelings can overwhelm us. I understand why we’d oftentimes prefer to shut them off entirely. But what I have found is that those old feelings will hold us back in life until we feel and heal them once and for all. After all, energy is never destroyed, it is merely transformed. Unfelt feelings and trauma not dealt with only lead to pain, dis-ease, and suffering later in life.

I have learned that when I show up fully in my life, that my challenges stop creating stigma and start being a path for deeper connection and understanding with other humans. When I choose to open up in full authenticity and vulnerability, I find others who have had similar experiences to mine. I also find that giving myself the permission and space to open up gives others that same space and freedom. Everything starts with us and creates ripple effects outward. I think what we all really need is just the reminder that we are never alone in our struggles. That there are common threads that connect us all. Remember that we never know what someone is going through, so it’s critical that we treat people kindly, always. Remember to treat yourself kindly as well. This life isn’t a rehearsal. Are you present in your moments? Are you doing what you came here to do?

Thank you for being here on this journey with me. When I started this blog in 2017, I could have never known the freedom that it would give me to show up fully in my life. Writing here has helped me remove the compartments that I used to sort the various areas of my life into.

If you liked this post, please like and share it. In that way, we can create further ripple effects. Feel free to follow me on IG and/or FB for more content. I will be posting the video I recorded there as it won’t upload here. Sending you much love!

I Am

Hi, I am Jammie. Peaceful Jellyfish started out as the name for this blog at http://www.peacefuljellyfish.com. It stems from my favorite animal, the jellyfish and the inner peace that I have learned to cultivate. A few years ago, I channeled on the question “How can I be the light that I came here to be?”, and starting my blog came through the strongest. After my first post, I had several people reach out to me saying that I had given them hope and inspiration, including a friend who had been feeling suicidal. My path was fueled.

I am constantly changing, evolving, and expanding into the truest version of myself. My guideposts are joy and inner peace. I am not the same person I was 5 minutes ago, let alone 5 years ago. I generally do not like to be labeled and tossed into neatly defined boxes, but if you must, then then call me a Joymonger! (a term coined by author Rob Bell ‘Introduction to Joy’) My purpose is to follow my joy, and to spread and promote the feelings of bliss and delight in the lives of others!

Joy = state of delight, bliss.

Monger = a person who promotes a specified activity, situation, or feeling.

I am here to remind you that life is trying to grow you, not torture you. I am here to show you that you are not alone in your struggles. I am here as an example of how the most difficult challenges in life can lead us to the most incredible parts of life. I am here to remind you of your limitless potential to create the life of your dreams. I am here to remind you that life is far too short to take it so seriously. I am here to remind you that you are meant to follow your joy. I am here to remind you to enjoy the hell out of your journey while you can, because the only guaranteed destination for all of us is death. Without death, life would be devoid of meaning.

My despair is a superpower, because it allowed me to crack the code of this life — that it is fleeting and fragile and so we are meant to experience it fully and with as much joy as possible!

I have been blessed to use my experience to help others in a variety of ways. Right now, I help others using intuitively-guided Reiki Healing, Joy Coaching, and readings with channeled guidance. If you need extra support, email me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com.

Let’s Erase the Stigma of Mental Health

Seriously. No one should feel bad or ashamed, because they go to a therapist. We need to erase the stigma surrounding mental health in this country.

When I was battling severe depression, it was doubly exhausting to feel the weight of the world on my shoulders as I felt the need to hide my issues from others. Anyone with depression knows, it zaps your energy enough to then put so much into keeping it all a secret. But at the time, it felt necessary for me. I felt ashamed and less than because I was struggling with a sadness so severe that I could barely function. It made me have an anxiety attack once just to go and talk casually with a potential new employer about work I really wanted to do for them, because the thought of having to be ‘on’ and ‘sell myself’ was THAT overwhelming. It was also no fun to be on the verge of tears literally all the time, yet still have to go to work and hold them back. I avoided talking to people. I avoided phone calls. I avoided as much life as I possibly could. I always worried that my secret would be found out, which at the time terrified me. I felt like I was broken.

Just taking the steps to find my first therapist was daunting. But that step ended up being crucial to turning things around. I went to someone who had me try loads of natural supplements and even a SAD light as I was living in a rainy, gray Oregon winter at the time. When none of those worked, we moved onto medications. First Prozac which helped me immensely at the time. Then there became a need for less side effects, so I saw a psychiatrist to have my meds adjusted. Moved onto Wellbutrin. Then eventually landed on Lexapro. The names of medications don’t really matter, because they’re what I needed at the time. I write this for anyone else who has struggled with depression and has taken multiple medications before finding the ‘right’ one. There was a time when I thought I’d be taking Lexapro indefinitely, because of how my doctors believed my Lyme Disease was affecting me.

You are not alone. Many of us deal with mental illness and most don’t talk about it. I’ve been able to move past my years of depression, with appreciation that I’ve experienced such lows in my life. Those things we’re most ashamed of tend to connect us the most deeply with our fellow humans. This human life can be really difficult. We aren’t taught positive ways to cope, so we end up getting completely overwhelmed when challenges inevitably arise. If you’re like me, then you may relate to the fact that I used to internalize everything happening around me as something that was my fault. As a child growing up in a tense household, I took all of the negative energy on as my own and it was the start of my depression. I felt confused, alone, and unlovable.

It is my hope that in sharing, I can help remove the stigma for just one person currently being challenged by mental illness. You are not alone. Do not be ashamed of needing to see a therapist. It’s brave of you to take that step and you should be proud of yourself for recognizing when you need help and asking for it. I know none of it is easy for you.

Know that many therapists will offer a sliding scale if you lack insurance that covers it. Don’t let money stop you. There are ways. If you’re a student, check in with your school. One of the best counselors I ever went to was at the community college I attended for nursing school. She was in training, but she was the best for offering practical and positive ways to cope with my stressors at the time, which was my health crisis.

Know too that you might not find the ‘right’ therapist for you on the first try. I have been to several and they are not all the same. I’ve had some that were a good fit and some that were a terrible fit. I was once so overwhelmed with life that I asked my therapist directly for positive coping mechanisms to get me through the stress I was feeling. She didn’t offer me any that day, and I never went back to her again. You know yourself better than anyone. If you’re not having a good experience with your therapist, trust yourself and find a new one. Of course be mindful that you’re not just sabotaging it, because you never wanted to go in the first place. But your therapist should help you feel better overall, and you should feel safe and heard.

Pay attention to your intuition or repeating messages. Is a particular office calling to you? Do people around you keep mentioning the name of the SAME therapist to you? Do you keep seeing an advertisement for a particular therapist over and over? Follow those leads, because your higher self is guiding you. Trust it.

Thank you for reading! If you like this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG and Facebook for more positive content and perspective on life. Much love!