I learned the true value in maintaining an elevated energetic vibration and the alignment with my own spirit. For once in my life, I placed these things and my own well-being FIRST. I felt into everything I did, and got strong in following my intuition wholeheartedly. I now trust myself and my own guidance fully, and no longer feel like I need guidance from any outside source.
I met a lot of new members of my tribe. I danced more. I sang more. I hiked more. I connected more. I healed more. I taught more. I created art more. I manifested more. And not only did I do these things, but I did them in front of other people through public dance parties, classes, speaking, and even my first art show! This year has been a year of getting to know my power as a powerful creator. It has meant not playing small and staying hidden hoping that people won’t notice my differences. It’s been about not only accepting my differences, but really learning to love and appreciate them. I’ve been putting myself out there more by sharing my perspectives more openly.
There have been painful times in this year as I’ve peeled back more layers in my healing process. Working through identifying more with my spirit than my ego has required some deep, personal introspection. It required a lot of solitude. For once, I was fully ready and willing to look at my issues and face them without deflecting to other people or situations. I stood in my own shit and owned it all.
In 2019, I came out of my shell and stepped more into my light in a public way. With help from Holographic Kinetics, I gained a confidence in myself and my abilities that I had never before experienced. I plan to up my life game in big ways in 2020. I realize that I’ve been functioning at probably half my capacity. I feel like it’s time to blow the top off of any remaining perceived limitations I have about myself and life and go all in!
2020 is going to be BIG!
Happy New Year to all of the people here who have followed me on this incredible journey of self-discovery and self-transformation. I appreciate you! 2020 here we come!
If you only know my blog and want to see the dancing and art I created this year, check out my IG at peaceful.jellyfish or FB at /peacefuljellyfish. I’ve posted a lot of videos this year that you will enjoy of you enjoy my blog.
Thank you for reading along! If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it! Follow me on IG or FB for more positive content. Sending you all so much love and wishes that you’ll make 2020 your best year yet!
I can’t help but think of Prince’s song “1999” on this last day of 2019! Enjoy!
I had a friend message me yesterday and feel like maybe their questioning and my perspective might help someone. I appreciate them for starting this conversation with me. Thank you!
Their message to me:
“I don’t understand why I hear people talk about how they don’t want to experience pain sadness or to even cry. Experiencing emotion is how we empathize with others and different dimensions. Someone told me today that crying is the old being lol“
“It’s because some of us are so incredibly sensitive to the energies around us and for our perceived safety and to get love from our parents, we shut down our feelings as a coping mechanism as children to get through trauma. I had to learn how to feel my feelings in my 30’s after a lifetime of pushing them down because they overwhelmed me so much. I didn’t know how to cope with them. This is the reality for MANY people which is why addiction is so prevalent. It feels safer for people to feel physical pain than to feel their emotions. People are so out of touch with their spirits because the program we’re in seeks to keep us small and disconnected. People are generally trapped in relationships and jobs that are miserable but they don’t see a way out. When we are so out of alignment with our spirit that we’re forcing ourselves to do things we don’t enjoy, the emotions from that are intense. People don’t know what to do with them, so they push them down so they can just live and get by in their lives. Feeling emotions as they come up is something that many of us have had to learn as adults. So yeah, I get it.”
I’ve written a lot more about this topic on my blog HERE in my post titled “Emotions vs Physical Pain”.
It’s important to remember that we are all literally creating our own realities. This is why we can all have such varied experiences even within the same families. No two people experience this life in the same way. I do not know your journey, just as you do not know mine. We can have a lot of similarities, but our responses to situations and the perspective we glean will be completely different. I love when someone takes the time to get to know me and I feel like they really see me fully, but I don’t expect them to understand me anymore, because they are not me. The best thing we can do for each other is to support and encourage each other as we all walk our own, unique paths. There’s no room for judgement in this new energy. It’s time we all leave our preconceived notions about life and each other back in 2019. Grace and love are the new normals.
Thank you so much for reading along! If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it! Follow me on IG and FB for more inspirational content. Sending you all so much love!
In alignment with my own spirit, I personally have ZERO interest in being involved in the “feminist movement”. I have felt for so long now the key to positive change is about creating the safe space for men and women to step fully into their power and their own alignment and support each other as we step out of our programming that seeks to separate us. I am personally called to be a bridge and hold space for men as they learn to be more open, and vulnerable as they work towards getting in touch with their emotions. We are not meant to be separated. We need, now more than ever, to come together so that we can ALL rise up. Realize that the patriarchy has men trapped in a system that generally isn’t healthy for them either. Regardless of what they appear to have gained from it, realize that they have also lost much, including their alignment with their own spirit and the ability for real connection. The men and women who have stepped out of the system are the ones who are healing each other on this journey. Over time, it will make way for all of the men and women to show up authentically and healed TOGETHER. The system has sought to separate us. My spirit tells me that any movement that still holds us in separation is not the way towards inclusive and lasting shifts and healing.
Don’t be so quick to dismiss things that are new to you. Those new ways of thinking and being and healing could be the keys to your healing and living your best life. They were for me.
There’s a reason why so many people are gravitating towards natural healing modalities and away from western medicine and the pill factory that has become “healthcare” in the US. Our current system as it stands is FAILING us big time!
It only takes getting something serious like Lyme disease to find out the bullshit way insurance companies and big pharma are running this show. For instance, did you know that it’s the insurance companies governing how doctors are “allowed” to treat Lyme disease? Do you know that because of this, thousands of people (including me) are forced to pay out of pocket for adequate treatment from a Lyme Specialist who has decided that actually treating the illness is the only way and can’t be done while under the thumb of health insurance companies? As you can imagine, payoff is bigger when you play nice with insurance companies, so there is a greatly unbalanced supply-demand ratio of Lyme Specialists to patients. I’m positive that there are people dying because they can’t afford adequate treatment for Lyme disease and they have to just take their doctor’s word for it. I had great insurance, but my specialist visits weren’t covered by it. The only way I continued with that care is because I became a nurse and could afford it. There were times as a nurse that my bank account was going negative between paychecks because I was paying $700 every 12 weeks to see my amazing Specialist who was helping me battle multiple infections. In fact, it’s a good thing I went to her, because every other doctor I had seen up to that point had neglected to tell me (or read the blood results) that showed I had tested positive for Valley Fever during a hospital stay. She was the only one who told me or treated me for it after having the test run by an infectious disease control doctor at the hospital, YEARS after the fact.
I’ve heard people say that things like energy healing or craniosacral therapy are “voodoo” (that don’t have negative side effects) without knowing anything about them, but they have no problem with having to suffer the side effects from medications their doctors are selling for which they then have to take ANOTHER medication! Doctors are just humans with more years of schooling by the way. They don’t and can’t know everything about everything. Most know a little about a lot. Some (specialists) go to even more school and know a lot about a little. There was a time that I was playing that game. In truth, medications have no side effects, only effects. When you take medication with serious side effects, you’re essentially choosing all of its effects (both wanted and unwanted) over your ailment. When I instead choose to take a prescribed homeopathic remedy, i got immense healing courtesy of my own body’s healing abilities getting switched on without ANY unwanted effects. It also allowed me to eventually come off of my medications for Lyme et al.
School teaches us the program (the more schooling you have, the more programmed you are), and then it’s up to US to choose our own, REAL well-being and the well-being of our brothers, sisters, and children over what we’re being taught. How many people aren’t getting any answers from their doctors and are taking medications that aren’t working, yet they’re STILL following the same protocol fed to them month after month, year after year? That’s insanity! That’s when I got curious and started trying other things, because for years, the meds weren’t healing me, they were temporarily controlling my symptoms. I’d go off the medication, and all of the symptoms would come back. It’s almost like we’ve come to accept the fact that there’s no hope for better health and well-being for us. We’ve been settling for mediocre care and mediocre treatment. And the system reflects it by serving up more of the same. I am generalizing here, because as a whole, the system is broken. I’ve been to the local clinics as a patient where I felt more like part of a cattle herd than human. I have friends who feel like they aren’t even treated like a human when they go to a clinic. Seen for a few minutes, not listened to or heard. It’s not OK.
Here in the Central Valley, our issues are compounded, because of the fact that we live in a medically under served area. We have more patients than doctors. We have less access to care overall, and in turn to quality care. Here, we have to take what we can get, and many people are being failed. In general, this system is failing us, because it has taught us to believe everything our doctors say, and it’s taught them that the best treatment for most things comes in pill form. People think that their doctors know best, yet their doctors only know what they are taught or seek. Big pharma has their hand in all of it, so typically they are taught big pharma‘ pitch. I would venture to guess that most people in healthcare who are open to alternative therapies, or even know about them, do because of their own health-history and the benefits they’ve had with them. NOT because they taught us anything about it in school. I have an amazing Nurse Practitioner who researches and goes the extra mile and diagnosed me when even doctors at Stanford hadn’t been able to. Good primary care folks DO exist. But, I’ve also gone to doctors who couldn’t figure out what was going on with me and were visibly offended and dismissive when I excitedly told them that I had gotten answers, the correct treatment, and was doing well. Thinking they’d be happy to have the mystery solved, I was surprised when they preferred to repeat some taught rhetoric that Lyme disease isn’t in California. Raise your hand if you’re in California and that pisses you off too! (BTW, we barely heard about Lyme in nursing school. Yep, even with an estimated 300,000 new cases a year. We had a teacher whose daughter had it, otherwise it was a blip). The best thing that practitioners can do for all of us is to do their own research. The problem is that the time to do it isn’t built into their work schedule. Those that do, sacrifice their time away from work. As a nurse, I can tell you that work, meetings, trainings, and certifications took up a lot of my time. When I was in it, I didn’t have the energy to research. Probably why my life was designed to have me be my own research, my own test subject. With no answers from my doctors and recurring pericarditis, I had nothing to lose.
WE are the ones we’ve been waiting for. WE are the ones that can change the system by doing the things that work for us vs what is being pushed on us. Our money talks. If we don’t like the system, we have to start making different choices. We are failing ourselves when we remain closed minded to new ways of doing things and just accept the status quo even when it isn’t serving us well. We can’t continue to hide behind phrases like “oh, my insurance doesn’t cover that.” So what? People will spend money on gadgets, beer and wine, fancy cars, so they CAN choose to spend that money on their well-being. How important is your one body in this lifetime to you? How important is the well-being of your body, mind, and spirit? There’s no guarantee that you’ll be able to buy back your health once you lose it.
In our current system, the focus has been where there is the opportunity to make the most money. Our current “healthcare” system is a money-making system built on making sure we stay sick and in the dark about these things. Of course it is full of good-intentioned people who want to help people heal, it’s just that their capacity to do so is very limited within the confines of all the red tape. Do you know how many times I (and I’m sure MANY other healthcare professionals) left the hospital and cried after a shift, because the tasks placed on me prevented me from feeling like I could be the nurse I so desperately wanted to be? If I spent 15 minutes with someone listening to them as they processed their new cancer diagnosis, I’d risk falling incredibly behind in my charting and would sometimes have to stay hours late after my shift to catch up. I’d choose to listen every time, but not without a potential cost in the form of stress and further energy depletion for the extra long shifts and negative feedback from my bosses.
Currently, our government (FDA) is working to make various supplements unavailable to us over the counter, because they work and they’re currently not getting paid for them. Enter in big pharma patenting supplements and selling them for a steep price. Enter in the government getting in on the new marijuana/CBD industry when they’ve found a way to grab their slice of the pie. (Uhhh maybe legalize and then tax it for starters?) Any substance is only an issue when the government, big insurance, and big pharma (all the same entity) aren’t getting their cut. When people aren’t strung out on THEIR drugs. Today’s money maker is the flu vaccine so they push it, but, maybe tomorrow’s will be CBD oil or hallucinogenic plants, or some other thing that they’re toting as ‘bad’ now that will suddenly turn ‘good’ later when they figure out how to (or it becomes more acceptable to) market it and turn a profit. The real change is going to come from our own alignment with our spirit when we realize that we’ve had the ability to heal ourselves from within this whole time, after being fed the notion that all cures to everything come from without. Nope. Everything is an inside job.
It’s OK to face the fact that you’ve been lied to. It’s OK to change your mind. It’s OK to try new things even though your church or friend or teacher or doctor warns you against it. I am a Registered Nurse who has been the patient AND the nurse. I’ve experienced western medicine, and I’ve also tried many alternatives. A combination of the two saved my life. But it was the alternatives that continued to work for me without unwanted effects long after the pills had had their awful way with my body. I have also healed myself, because I have healed my thoughts about my illness. I decided that because I was feeling good, I was cured. A placebo thought that changed my entire game. Healing my mind changed my life for the better. No medication or complimentary therapy can compare to changing our thoughts and beliefs (beliefs are merely thoughts that you’ve thought over and over and over), and aligning with our own spirit.
Can you even imagine how much my beliefs have shifted to go from a wildlife field biologist, to a patient of western medicine to alternative therapies to career in nursing to career in Holographic Kinetics, and Mindfulness Coaching and Education (to name a few of my current projects)? Because of my training to always believe in science and what could be “proven” by it, I’ve had to read countless books to wrap my head around the fact that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. It was by design that I was exposed to treatments with benefits that science wasn’t explaining or supporting. Luckily, it made me stop blindly trusting in science and “healthcare”. When I learn something new, I try my best to put my judgment aside so that I can weigh everything as a valid possibility. In this year as I’ve been wrapping my head around the multidimensionality of us and this universe, I have realized that nothing is as it seems. So who am I to keep rigid beliefs about anything given that fact? My mind is open to seeing things in a new light and changing my perspective. Is yours? If not, why are you holding on so tight to what you have been taught? Why are you holding so tightly to what you believe? How are your current beliefs serving you? How are they failing you? The proof is in your life. How much inner peace and well-being are you experiencing? That’s the new measure of “success” for me.
Some of this is difficult to think about this way, because it challenges our careers, our livelihoods and our egoic identities, the things we have devoted our time (away from our loved ones), energy, and money to. I get it, because here I am with a Registered Nursing degree feeling like it completely goes against the integrity of my own spirit to use it to practice as a nurse with the way things stand right now. I wouldn’t be able to do many of the things I’d be required to with a clear conscience anymore. I wouldn’t be able to hold in my knowledge of alternative therapies when I came across a patient who could really stand to benefit from it. The incongruent nature of my actions vs thoughts would drop me out of alignment with my spirit, and that’s the most expensive price I could ever pay for a paycheck. Not. Worth. It. People trade their alignment for a paycheck every day, within all professions by settling or doing work they hate.
So break out of your old ways of thinking and read something that challenges your current beliefs. If your medication isn’t really helping you anymore (or never has) and your doctor doesn’t have any answers, it may be time to try something alternative and natural that won’t give you more symptoms to worry about.
If we want a different reality, we’ve got to do different things. But the step between a new experience we want, and taking new actions is becoming aware of our thoughts and shifting them, so that they no longer get in our way of the very thing that could help us the most. We are our own worst enemies. We place limits where there would otherwise be none. We’ve become too rigid in our thinking. We’ve been taught to attack anything that disrupts the programs we’ve grown up in, including each other. Really, the only things we need to learn are how to think for ourselves and to question everything.
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An event is traumatic, because it causes us to decide something about ourselves or about life that we then create from ever after. In the moment of a traumatic event, we lock in beliefs that life then continues to prove true, since what we believe we experience. The event can cause a lot of pain and suffering in the moment, but it’s our continual reliving of the beliefs we acquired through it that truly cause us to suffer over and over again.
It is my changed perspective about myself and life that continues to shape my experience, not the original traumatic event itself. We are powerful creators, so if something makes us decide at some point at conception or beyond that we are not worthy of love, then we will create situations and relationships over and over again to prove that belief. I had that cycle repeating in my own life. Luckily, through my personal sessions of Holographic Kinetics, I was able to clear that belief at the spirit level, so I no longer have to carry it around to have it surface time and again in this life and future lives. Phew!
So much of what we come to know about ourselves and the world is taught to us within a system that places more value on our physical reality than on the fact that we are all spiritual beings having a temporary human experience. Our multidimensionality and that of the universe tends to be completely overlooked. So, a lot of spiritual information then doesn’t tend to fit neatly into the confines of what we’ve been taught our whole lives. This leads to major disconnect and feelings of dis-ease. We begin bottling up the things we think or feel that don’t fit with what we’ve been told by our families, teachers, friends, and the organizations to which we belong (Wow, organizations we belong to, think on that for a minute. I personally don’t want to ‘belong’ to any organization). We sometimes label these things as “wrong”, or have the people we open up to do it for us. The reality is that usually the discourse we feel is because our own inner knowing doesn’t match up with what we’re being told/taught. I have learned to always trust the inner knowing above everything else. We have all of the answers we seek inside of us.
The reality is that the world we live in is nothing as it seems. We have been taught to place so much importance on the outer world and things out of our control that we’ve lost sight of the fact that WE are the ones that can free and heal ourselves. To take our power back means to stop giving it away to others. We’ve got to snap out of victim-mode ASAP. There is no one else to blame if we continue to relive our traumas and not do the work to get out of the cycle of similarity we’ve become trapped in by our own beliefs. I’m not saying it’s easy, but I am saying it’s necessary if we want to finally start listening to the nudges of our spirits and break free from old patterns and programming, so that we can get on with living our best lives.
I have done a lot of inner work. I keep being guided deeper and deeper to clear more and more from my past. We are so powerful that we can set intentions and tell our spirits what we want, and then notice that we will be guided to the people, situations, and resources to help us. How many of you set an intention to level up and/or clear out what was no longer serving you and have experienced people and situations clearing out of your life in record speeds this year? We asked for all of it. Right now, I am being urged to drive several hours away to the nearest practitioner to have another Holographic Kinetics session. As I’ve cleared issues on my own, and through HK, other issues have moved to the surface as the next important parts in need of healing. Remember, the growth and healing doesn’t stop until we die. But, in my own experience, it does stop feeling so severe, because I can more easily recognize what is happening. If you are being guided to a specific type of healing, I urge you to follow it. When I have done that, I have found another piece of the puzzle that helped me on my path back to my innate well-being.
Several years ago, I was sick of being depressed. I wasn’t actively depressed when I decided this, but I was suffering greatly. My thoughts about my situation were primarily negative and I felt stuck in a life that I didn’t feel I had chosen for myself. As I dug myself out of those beliefs, I began to see some light at the end of the tunnel. I realized that it wasn’t really my outer experience causing me to suffer, but my belief about it! This was huge! I remember getting very annoyed with a woman I worked with for a time when she’d say that things were the way they were supposed to be, because that’s what was happening. How easy is it to think that everything is happening for a reason when we’re enjoying life?! Not so much, it seems, when we’re unhappy with our lives. But, it’s important to realize that we can’t think that things are happening as they are meant to in some cases AND believe that we’re victims of circumstance in others. It doesn’t work that way. Because there is so much more to this life, we do not always consciously know what energy is being balanced out by a situation, or what lessons a person’s spirit is wanting them to learn. We’ve got to stay in our own lanes of being and focus on our own growth.
That being said, we are often stuck in time and repeating cycles of similarity. One way to work through this is to become aware of the dynamic happening and then ask ourselves what our role in it has been. When we take responsibility for our lives in this way, positive shifts happen because we take back our power. Standing in our own power and our own innate sense of knowing moves us towards alignment with our own spirit. An example in my own life is that it doesn’t serve my highest good to complain about a past relationship with a narcissist. Even labeling the person that way isn’t helpful for me, though it is helpful in reaching the people who need this message. What helps me is to see the role I played in that relationship. What led me to it? I fully recognize that I knowingly gave up my power at the start of it. I had been in a relationship where I made so many of the decisions and I was tired of it. I was excited to spend time with someone who liked to plan our time together. Suddenly, I wasn’t the one planning all of the hikes. It felt like a relief to not make the decisions for a while. But then that led into giving my power away about other things. Next thing I knew, I no longer felt in control of my own life. But it started with ME. Realizing that has allowed me to become aware of and see the parts of me that were drawn to that relationship. I’ve then been able to work towards a much deeper level of healing from that place of awareness.
As much as we like to think that we know where an issue originated, in my sessions of Holographic Kinetics, I have been shown time and again that often, we are not actually consciously aware of the cause. Many times, a trauma in childhood merely activates an issue that spirit has been carrying through from lifetimes ago. Or, from a trauma that a grandfather or great grandmother locked in at the spirit level and began passing down to future generations. As we are spiritual beings first, our issues don’t always originate in this lifetime. It is our minds that will try and connect an issue to an event that we can consciously remember in an attempt to make sense of it. Sometimes, trauma happens as a result of something our parents say or do when we are in the womb, or when we are little babies less than a year old. Just the same, we lock in beliefs about ourselves or life in those moments, and begin to unconsciously create our reality from them.
In the Holographic Kinetics sessions that I do, I have witnessed a person’s spirit take them back to a point just after conception (yes, in their Mother’s womb) many times as it finds the cause of the first activation or creation of an issue in this lifetime. How is that possible? How can we be aware of anything when we have barely been conceived? It is because we are spirits first and foremost. As the aboriginal people explain it, our spirit is what is with us through this life as well as through all of our past lives. Our spirit is aware of the cause of ALL of the issues that are holding us back in this life. Holographic Kinetics allows us to communicate with our spirit and help it change the past in the present for the future.
You see, our spirits do not wish to relive the same lesson and limiting pattern over and over again. No, our spirits yearn to be free, so that they can experience the full range of creation in this life. This is why we have all been feeling so called to clear our old issues and baggage that we’ve possibly been carrying around for many lifetimes. Our spirits are guiding us to the changes we need to make in order to break free from the self-imposed/accepted limitations we’ve allowed for far too long. We can heal ourselves by listening to our spirits/higher selves/intuition. Our spirit knows what we need in order to thrive in this life. When we listen to that inner guidance/knowing, we are naturally led into alignment with our own spirit which is the place from which everything we seek is possible.
I urge you to begin to follow your intuition about everything. How do you know it’s your intuition and not your old patterns speaking? The inspired ideas you get from your spirit will leave you feeling excited. The guidance will be to things that make you feel good. In fact following your joy and what feels good to you is another way to align with your spirit. As you follow the guidance from your spirit/intuition, your ability to do so will strengthen. Over time, it will become second nature and you will come to trust it more. I have a way of asking for guidance from my own spirit that gives me answers based on the feeling I get in my body.
We all have the power to heal our trauma, so that it stops causing us to repeat the same cycles over and over. The answers to that healing really lie within each of us. We are all drawn to what we need, when we need it. I was drawn to numerous healing modalities before being pulled in a big way to Holographic Kinetics. It was all important, because it all led me to an expanded awareness and deeper healing. It’s like each thing allowed for wellness, so I’d be ready for the next level of healing. My healing didn’t happen all at once, or through only one modality. It’s as if I was being groomed to be able to wrap my head around the healing at the spirit level. I experienced such profound healing of my past wounds through Holographic Kinetics, and I continue to be amazed (not surprised) by the ways that I see it help my clients or friends afar who go to practitioners near them. I have witnessed it shift a friend out of severe suicidal thoughts and back into their previous excitement about the year to come immediately following their first Holographic Kinetics session. I will be speaking about this at a Mental Health and Mindfulness focused Visalia Talks and Wine in January, so stay tuned.
Mindfulness isn’t just about being present in our moments and grateful for what we have, it’s about developing a conscious awareness of the beliefs we have that are holding us back. In Holographic Kinetics, when we find the cause of an issue, our spirit is able to change that dimension of time, so that we break free from the beliefs about ourselves that continue to re-traumatize us through time on all levels and all dimensions.
If you’d like more information about Holographic Kinetics, email me at email@example.com. Check out my testimonials page at the top of this blog for feedback from a few of my clients. I am also happy to speak on any of the topics I cover in this blog at events or organizations who are interested in learning more. Email me with inquiries.
Thank you for reading along! If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG/FB for more inspirational posts. Sending you all so much love!