All the Friends

How do we break past old programming and ways of being as a human race? We question everything, we follow our intuition and joy over societal norms, and we stop placing each other in rigid boxes.

My tribe has grown so much in the last year that it still amazes me. The people that I am blessed to call friends are some of the best people on the planet, I am sure of it. Some of those friends are men, some are women, and some don’t identify as one gender or another.

I have always had male friends. I’ve never seen anything wrong with men and women being friends. In fact, my male friends provide me with much-needed grounding energy in my life. I think insecurity is what fuels the notion that men and women cannot ‘just be friends’, especially when one or both have wives, husbands, or otherwise romantic partners outside of the friendship. When a relationship is strong and desired by both people, no friendship outside of that relationship is going to cause issue.

I’d like to pose that the notion that friendships outside of our romantic partnerships can’t exist in a healthy way is an extremely outdated viewpoint that really limits us in our human experience. Relationships of all kinds are what grow us and expand our awareness the most in this life. If we get wrapped up in rules that were created to keep us separate and living small lives, then it will be more difficult for us to step into our full power and become the people that we came here to be. It’s time to bridge the gap between all genders, and more importantly all humans. We’re not going to get there by taking sides and proclaiming ourselves as part of some group smaller than the human race as a whole. Division in solution is not the way to true change.

Assumptions usually don’t have any merit. In the book, “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel-Ruiz, he states the importance of not making assumptions about anyone or anything. Let’s stop assuming that a man and woman hanging out means that they’re dating. Let’s stop placing importance on labeling connections. Does it really matter what other people are doing in the grand scheme of YOUR life? Rather than assuming something, we can ask questions to gain clarity. We need to realize though that some things aren’t any of our business and should be of no concern to us. The only business we need to be concerning ourselves with is our own. Speaking of which, humans can be gossip factories at times using speculation about other people’s lives as a means to connect with each other. This kind of relating is a sign that we’re lacking true, authentic connection with ourselves and others. When we cultivate a deeper connection, no one else’s business is of interest to us anymore. In fact, one of the ways you can lose my interest completely in conversation is to start talking to me about another person’s business. If you’re concerned about what’s going on with another person, I would ask you to go to them directly. I have enough of my own business to tend to, plus I can’t speak to what is truly going on with any other human but myself.

Our perspectives are so unique to us and our own experience that we each see everything through a lens of our own awareness (level of consciousness), experiences, insecurities, and self-imposed limitations. This means that what we perceive is only true for us and our own reality. Our minds would be in a constant state of overload if our brain didn’t have the ability to block out a great deal of outside stimulus from our conscious awareness. But, because our minds function this way, we each perceive different things as we move through the world. You and I could walk down the same street at the same time of day, and we will each notice different things. Our experience will be different even though we are doing the same thing. This is because our brains are sorting through all of the stimulus coming in, and only allowing perception of the things that hold significance for us specifically to get through. We have to understand that everyone has their own perception and is therefore experiencing their own reality. It’s as if we are each experiencing our own simulation game. So what is true for you, is not necessarily true for me. This is why siblings can have extremely different childhoods even when they grew up in the same household. We are each witnessing our own version of reality.

We are not here to conform and change ourselves to fit in with everyone else. And we are definitely not alive in this pivotal moment of awakening on this planet only to do what has always been done. It’s up to each of us to do our own inner work, so that we stop ourselves from judging and making assumptions about each other.

It would be so limiting if I thought that I had to hold back in my connections with others, because of gender or any other constraints that come from the meat suits that we’re temporarily renting. If I had to stop creating dance events for my community with my friend, because he is a man who is married, my life would be seriously lacking and our ability to lift up our community together would be lost. The intentions that each human has behind the things they do can be energetically felt by everyone around them. When we come from a place of honesty, integrity, and pure intentions, we have the ability to form strong connections with many different people across the spectrum of humanness.

We do not have to worry about our partner having friends with other people if we are secure in ourselves and in our relationship. There is no need to limit our connections in this life for any reason. When we each stand in our own power, we lose the need to conform. We don’t freak out that we’re weird or different than someone else, because we begin to experience the magic of living in our true authentic form.

We don’t have to rely on one person for ALL of our needs. I have come to believe that it’s unhealthy if we do. I have many friends and each one offers me a unique experience in connection. I have a friend that I dance and create with, I have friends that I can talk to about books, I have friends I talk to about all things outdoors, I have friends who I can talk to for hours about all things Spiritual, I have friends I went to nursing school with who understand that chapter of my life, I have friends I worked with in field biology jobs, and I have friends I go on adventures with etc etc etc. The list goes on. Lots of different people filling lots of different and important roles in my life. My point being that no one person fills every niche for me. Every person has come into my life for a reason, and I value each friendship greatly. Everyone brings their own unique way of being and perceiving into my life which cannot be replicated by another. For that reason, each person expands my awareness. Much would be lost if I thought that I couldn’t be friends with whomever I wanted. Because everything is energy and ripples out, it’s not just my life that would suffer, but also the world as a whole. Yes, the connections we form can be that significant.

I will not be fit into a box. I will not allow myself to be type casted in any area of my life in order to make other people comfortable. I played that game long enough. Now I live to make myself comfortable. Now my own inner peace outweighs everything else. If your psyche has trouble accepting that and needs to categorize me in some way, then put me into the category where I march to the beat of my own drum, the free spirit category, the category of people where you never know what to expect, the category of people who make you question everything you thought you knew about life, the category of people who will continue to be friends with whoever the hell she wants without needing to explain any of it to anyone, the category of people who lets you know that it is safe and important for you to be 100% authentically YOU.

I did not come here to be like you. I came here to be me. I did not come here to fall in line with the old status quo, I came to forge a new path. I never agreed that as an adult, I would only be friends with and follow my joy with certain people. I am here to form a bridge between people. We are all here to learn how to love ourselves and everyone else more. Open your mind and expand your awareness, so that you too can experience the freedom that comes from nonconformity. It’s time. We’ve got important work to do HERE AND NOW.

Thank you for reading along. If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. Follow me on IG for more thoughtful and uplifting content.

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