I went from the kind of person people said could light up a room to a very dim version of myself. I was struggling. I can remember gatherings where I laughed and was gregarious and extroverted, and then my mind flashes to the time when I felt at my worst and I shrunk and hid at a party behind the person I was with, because I was terrified that I’d have to talk to people. I had given my power away. I felt self-conscious and anxious when it came to being around other people. I grew quiet and shy. I began questioning everything I said and did and overthinking things became my norm. I stopped speaking my mind and I started being sort of invisible. I avoided phone calls and conversations.
And then something clicked after I got really sick and almost died. My body no longer let me hold all the words inside and also no longer tolerated stress. Finally, my spirit cried out and I was forced to put myself and my own well-being first for a change. That changed my life!
I began to pay attention to what was causing me so much stress in my life and I had to get real in finding solutions. I had a young son and I wanted to be healthy for him. Gone were the days of being quiet and occupying the smallest space I could squeeze myself into.
I am so happy that I’ve followed my spirit’s guidance to become the person I am today. I’m no longer boxed in. I’ve stopped compartmentalizing the parts of myself that make up my whole, so that everyone gets the same version of me. That alone has been liberating. I no longer adjust the words that come out of my mouth to say what I think someone else wants to hear or will be comfortable hearing. I’ve learned to speak up for myself, though I’ve also learned the beauty of being quiet and listening. I’m happiest when I’m being me freely, so I dance when I feel like dancing, even if no one else is yet. When I feel pulled to talk to someone, I do it without second guessing myself, and I have made some incredible friends this way.
I’ve learned the value of my energy and so I choose to do things that keep it elevated and I am selective about where I focus it. I used to worry that people wouldn’t like me if they ‘really knew me’, but now I know that that was just a false story I was telling myself. I’ve seen how when I show up as fully myself and I allow my light to shine, people are magnetized to me, not repelled.
I’m here to tell you that not only is it OK for you to shine your brightest, but it’s also imperative if you want to create real change in your life and this world. You may see me as a bright light, but I had to push through my own resistance and insecurities to get here. And then as I began to show up as more myself, the Universe began sending me deeper connections with amazing people as a reward. As the rewards for my authenticity kept showing up, I began to get more courageous. Much of my inner work has evolved this way, in a sort of positive feedback loop. I push through/become aware of some barrier be it a negative thought or a repeating pattern etc., do the work to change it, and then see the positive effects in my life. In this way, it became like a game and the rewards got me excited for how else I could improve my life.
Does healing always feel like a fun game? Of course not. Sometimes it’s incredibly painful. But even then, I have learned that the pain of growth and transformation doesn’t last forever. Eventually, you climb out of your cocoon and emerge as a bright and beautiful butterfly. The people who didn’t know you before that moment will have a hard time believing that YOU were ever depressed and limited to living a quiet and small existence in the darkness. Once you emerge and unleash your full spectrum of light, you won’t ever want to live in the dark again, nor will you be able to! You’ll find that you are no longer willing to tolerate people and situations that dim your light. As you step further and further into your alignment with your own spirit by following your intuition and joy, you’ll shine brighter and brighter! People and situations who match your light will begin pouring into your life. The beauty is that you’ll still remember the times when you felt completely alone, so when all of these higher vibrational situations and people show up, your heart will be beyond grateful. And a truly grateful heart is a magnet for miracles. So get out there and SHINE! The world desperately needs YOU!!
Listen to Matisyahu’s fitting song “I Will Be Light” HERE.
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If you’re having difficulty breaking free from old beliefs or patterns, reach out to me for more information about the sessions in Holographic Kinetics I do. I have been amazed at what they’ve done for me! Email me at email@example.com and read more about Holographic Kinetics HERE and at http://www.holographickinetics.com.