Music. Healing. Matisyahu.

In June of 2016, I had the pleasure of taking care of one of the sweetest families ever born when they were in the hospital having their second child, a boy. I remember both of the children’s names to this day. I’m telling you, this couple and their kids were some of the most beautiful spirits. Their smiles and positive energy are forever etched in my mind and made my life better in the day that I got to care for them. The other nurses who were lucky to get them in the days following me talked about how amazing they were too. Everyone wanted to be their nurse. The Dad commented that maybe they’d run into me at the Farmer’s Market, but so far, that hasn’t happened. I look for them though, and think of them often, with a smile on my face.

They were playing music in their room. At one point, when I had gone in to check on them, I really liked the song that was playing and asked the woman who it was. She told me and confirmed it by looking at the playlist on her phone. I played it cool, but barely knew what she had said, and I didn’t move my pride aside long enough to get the clarification. So I went home that night and googled it: modest yahoo. Hahaha!! Luckily, google figured it out for me and gave me my answer: Matisyahu.

Little did I know how much I needed Matisyahu, his message, and his music in my life. For the next almost 3 years, he’s helped me through a lot in my life, namely my total life transformation, the discovery and awakening of my true, higher self, my leap of faith out of my RN job in the hospital, my journey with my own business which is essentially my career of surrender and faith, and the immense amount of healing work I have been doing for myself, my family, and my ancestors.

On May 5th, I saw Matisyahu live for the fourth time. I manifested it. One morning, I said out loud that I needed to get to that show, and by that same afternoon a friend had texted me about volunteering in exchange for a free ticket to THAT show! I was thrilled to be front row and nearly center during his performance. When I listen to music, I hear and feel the lyrics. To me, Matis lyrics speak of the changes that we as the human race need to make, so that we can all live in a world of peace and acceptance. A lot of his lyrics are spiritual in nature. I can relate to the things he sings about in such an intimate way, because the human experience is ultimately a shared experience of awakening to our limitless potential. To get to that state of realization, usually we experience a lot of hardships. The plot is not unique to any of us, though the specifics of the stories vary.

Our words are our bond. They are powerful and should not be said or thought lightly. They greatly impact our lives and the world around us. It is no different to express words that we have created ourselves or to walk around singing someone else’s song lyrics. Be mindful of what you are consuming and repeating. The shows we watch and the music we listen to are vitally important, because when we’re doing those activities, our minds become open to suggestion. It’s why companies pay so much for commercials on TV and radio. The thoughts we think become our reality. Pay attention to the music lyrics you’re consuming and walking around repeating out loud or in your head. Once you look at music this way, listening to the radio takes on a whole new meaning. I was in a Lyft recently and every song that came on in a succession of 4 or 5 songs was about the person giving up their power, being a victim, and submitting to something outside of themselves. Music is heavily influenced as an industry. Consider choosing music that lifts you up without selling you material things, a certain lifestyle, or a victim mentality that leaves you seeking help from outside of yourself. The music played to the masses over the radio is most noticeably influenced, because it reaches the most people, but all music has the ability to sell a message that keeps us living small.

How is the music that you’re listening to make you feel? What messages is it sending you about life or about yourself? Would you be OK with the lyrics you’ve been walking around singing manifesting in your life? If not, it’s time to find some new music.

I actually walked away from music at the House Music Festival in Chicago several times yesterday, because they started playing things with words that just did not feel good to me. Our subconscious minds pick up everything we take in, and more so when it’s put to a catchy beat. Start paying attention to how TV and music make you feel and the kinds of messages planted in them. It’ll open up your mind in such a big way when you start paying attention.

Music has the ability to lift us up and get us through tough times. It has the ability to align us to our spirit. It has the ability to connect us all in dance. The next time you’re out at a show, consider putting your phone away and joining in the dancing. Life is short to spend it taking video the entire time of the fun going on around you. Join in. Dance. Risk being seen. Risk looking like a fool. Those of us dancing aren’t thinking about you. We’re enjoying life! Enjoy it with us!

Thank you for reading along! If you enjoyed this post, please like and share it. You can also catch me over on IG and FB for more content. Much love to you!

Watch Michael Franti and Spearhead‘s “Love Will Find a Way” HERE

Fleeting Moments

Grief. It’s a tricky thing. I didn’t realize how much grief I had stored in my body until recently when I went and saw the movie “Five Feet Apart”, followed by crying at Rob Bell’s ‘An Introduction of Joy’, an amazing purging of emotions during a craniosacral therapy session, and followed today by nearly bursting into tears as I watched a little three-year-old boy in front of me in line at the grocery store. Isn’t that the way with grief? It comes up at the most seemingly unlikely of times. It hadn’t even been on my radar and then BOOM, there it was, over and over and over again.

I’ve asked for this. I’ve asked Source and my higher self to help clear out anything no longer serving me. I ask for it every time I shower. I ask the water to heal me and cleanse me of any energy or way of being that is no longer serving my highest good. Enter in emotions that have been stored deep within me being brought to the surface and into my conscious awareness to be healed once and for all. The things that have been coming up have caught me a bit off guard. It’s been from patients in the hospital who died on comfort care during my time of taking care of them. It’s come up for the loss of my father-in-law as his birthday just passed. It’s come up today for the grief I feel as a mother of a child who is growing and changing right in front of my eyes.

I have felt like my grief is sitting in my chest in a conglomerate of sorts, all jumbled up together in a ball of burnt, shredded and dismantled rubber from a tire that has blown out on a highway. It’s all there, melted together. Actual deaths and suicides of friends and family. Figurative deaths of my marriage, of my old self who processed everything as best she could at the time, the loss I feel from each year that my son grows and morphs into his next round of humanness. Relationships come and gone. Jobs come and gone. Places come and gone. Some things hit harder than others, even in my new understanding and beliefs of how this all works and the fact that I don’t believe any soul ever ‘dies’.

My experience and grief is relative. I do not mean to downplay or gloss over other kinds of grief by expressing my own experiences. I left the grocery store today in tears about my son’s growth, recorded a video about it, and then learned that a friend suffered a miscarriage. It only further reiterated the fragile nature of life and the importance of our appreciation and presence in all of the moments.

My grief was pushed down and avoided when I went to work or school and was trying to function in the world as I felt like crying, but put a smile on instead. When my sadness overcame me in the form of depression and wishing for death, I still had to find a way to live in the world. That dichotomy consumed me at times. The mask I wore nearly suffocated me. Can you relate?

I almost did that today. In fact, I suppose I did do that at the register as I watched the two young boys in front of me and awaited my turn to check out and pay. I dared not completely lose it and breakdown right then and there as I waited to pay. I saved that for a few moments later for when I expressed my gratitude to the Mom that I had remained in line behind her and her children after she had told me I could go ahead of her. I cried. I cried as I spoke of my son and his crocs and the fact that he was now nearly my size, and the fact that the time had moved so fast. I cried on my way to my car, got to my car and cried some more. I know from experience that this wasn’t only about my son. This was just a path of least resistance to have me open up and release years of grief stored within me. Tears have the power to cleanse us. Tears have the power to heal us, yet often, we hold them back.

I found myself basking in the ever present fleeting nature of this life, all the moments, and all the people who have crossed my path. I recorded this video in that moment. THIS is why I live the way I do. I have taken care of a patient in their 20’s on comfort care with AIDS, surrounded by their twin and rest of their family during their final moments of life. I witnessed and stored the pain felt by their family within my body. I nearly lost my own life with a baby at home depending on me for nourishment and love. While I am aware of my infinite, spiritual nature, I also know that in this body, in this time and space, I only have one shot to make the most of it. My pain has fueled my passion. My heartache has fueled my love. I would not be who I am without every single experience of my life, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

I don’t know how else to say it. Please allow other people’s stories to impact yours. Please snap out of the sleep you’re in and start living life to the fullest. Please enjoy the small moments, because they are in fact, the most important moments of our lives.

It’s a choice to follow your passion or go along with the status quo. It’s a choice to remain asleep in victim consciousness or to wake up to your full power as a co-creator in this life. It is a choice whether or not to remain present during all of your moments or to check out.

In my life so far, I have lived both ways. I have seen how feeling like a victim affected my life and I am a witness daily to the way that realizing my power to shape my reality has positively transformed my life. I know what I will continue to choose.

I will choose growth, expansion, and healing. I will choose placing my priority on my energetic vibration and my alignment with my higher self. I will choose to listen to a nudge from my intuition over the loud voices of the people and institutions surrounding me. I was asleep and desperately trying to numb my feelings and the energy of those around me for most of my life, and I will not go back to that way of being.

I will do my best to continue to do the real ‘adulting’ in this life which I believe is to say that I will do my best to feel my feelings in the moment. I have learned that when I feel feelings as they arise, they are much easier to handle and process. I have learned that feeling my feelings now means that I won’t store them in my body to process later or to have them surface as dis-ease or pain at a later date. I know that our feelings can overwhelm us. I understand why we’d oftentimes prefer to shut them off entirely. But what I have found is that those old feelings will hold us back in life until we feel and heal them once and for all. After all, energy is never destroyed, it is merely transformed. Unfelt feelings and trauma not dealt with only lead to pain, dis-ease, and suffering later in life.

I have learned that when I show up fully in my life, that my challenges stop creating stigma and start being a path for deeper connection and understanding with other humans. When I choose to open up in full authenticity and vulnerability, I find others who have had similar experiences to mine. I also find that giving myself the permission and space to open up gives others that same space and freedom. Everything starts with us and creates ripple effects outward. I think what we all really need is just the reminder that we are never alone in our struggles. That there are common threads that connect us all. Remember that we never know what someone is going through, so it’s critical that we treat people kindly, always. Remember to treat yourself kindly as well. This life isn’t a rehearsal. Are you present in your moments? Are you doing what you came here to do?

Thank you for being here on this journey with me. When I started this blog in 2017, I could have never known the freedom that it would give me to show up fully in my life. Writing here has helped me remove the compartments that I used to sort the various areas of my life into.

If you liked this post, please like and share it. In that way, we can create further ripple effects. Feel free to follow me on IG and/or FB for more content. I will be posting the video I recorded there as it won’t upload here. Sending you much love!

I Am

Hi, I am Jammie. Peaceful Jellyfish started out as the name for this blog at http://www.peacefuljellyfish.com. It stems from my favorite animal, the jellyfish and the inner peace that I have learned to cultivate. A few years ago, I channeled on the question “How can I be the light that I came here to be?”, and starting my blog came through the strongest. After my first post, I had several people reach out to me saying that I had given them hope and inspiration, including a friend who had been feeling suicidal. My path was fueled.

I am constantly changing, evolving, and expanding into the truest version of myself. My guideposts are joy and inner peace. I am not the same person I was 5 minutes ago, let alone 5 years ago. I generally do not like to be labeled and tossed into neatly defined boxes, but if you must, then then call me a Joymonger! (a term coined by author Rob Bell ‘Introduction to Joy’) My purpose is to follow my joy, and to spread and promote the feelings of bliss and delight in the lives of others!

Joy = state of delight, bliss.

Monger = a person who promotes a specified activity, situation, or feeling.

I am here to remind you that life is trying to grow you, not torture you. I am here to show you that you are not alone in your struggles. I am here as an example of how the most difficult challenges in life can lead us to the most incredible parts of life. I am here to remind you of your limitless potential to create the life of your dreams. I am here to remind you that life is far too short to take it so seriously. I am here to remind you that you are meant to follow your joy. I am here to remind you to enjoy the hell out of your journey while you can, because the only guaranteed destination for all of us is death. Without death, life would be devoid of meaning.

My despair is a superpower, because it allowed me to crack the code of this life — that it is fleeting and fragile and so we are meant to experience it fully and with as much joy as possible!

I have been blessed to use my experience to help others in a variety of ways. Right now, I help others using intuitively-guided Reiki Healing, Joy Coaching, and readings with channeled guidance. If you need extra support, email me at peacefuljellyfish@gmail.com.